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The “Bachelorette” Hannah – Episode 5 Mini Recap, “Reader Emails,” BIP Info, & Recap of the Vegas Weekend

Photo Credit: ABC

-Gonna be honest, will be a shorter recap today because, well, we had another episode surrounding Luke P. and all his drama. Don’t worry, only four more episodes of this! Chris Harrison wasn’t lying pre-season when he basically said it’s unprecedented this season because in the past, usually guys that are the “villains,” once they’re exposed, the lead sends them home. I don’t remember many ever getting past episode 4 or 5 (maybe outside of Wes. But Wes’ villainy isn’t close what Luke’s is). Luke P. obviously lasts way longer, and when it’s impeding the progress of other relationships, well, people are gonna grow tired of it. They already have. But here’s the thing: EVERYONE has an opinion on Luke. 98% are negative, but they’re feeling something, and that’s what the show wants. When no one cares, no one talks about your show, there’s no buzz around it or “water cooler talk” the next morning, that’s when the show is in trouble. Even if the main topic is Luke P. after every episode, it’s still helping them. Hence the reason they don’t care they’re spending so much time on him. He’s polarizing, in turn it’s making people talk about Hannah and her decisions, and it’s never ending.

-We started where we ended last week, and that was the pissing contest going on between both Luke’s. Hannah sat them down like a mother scolding her two 5 year old children, told them to speak to each other, both of them went around in circles blaming the other one, Hannah had enough and left, I had enough and starting peeling the skin off my face like in “Poltergeist,” and basically nothing got accomplished. But Luke S. decided to peace out right before the rose ceremony started, although we never saw a reason why. Didn’t take much for us to figure out why. 1) He was never gonna win anyway and 2) He knew Hannah was keeping The P over him. Guess I can’t blame him for leaving, but lets face it, it wasn’t a major loss to the show.

-Mike had the first 1-on-1 date when they headed to Scotland, and although Mike seems to be a fan favorite at this point, lets face it, he’s in the friend zone with Hannah and it’s clear as day. He was never going to win, and I know a lot of the social media response is to have him as the next “Bachelor” but I don’t see it at all. It’s just not there for me. He seems to be quite the instigator, he’s letting every single thing Luke does get under his skin, and he’s constantly leading group discussions on how much they dislike the guy. We get it. It’s clear that no one likes him. But Mike seems more bothered by Luke than anyone else and it’s just not a good look for the guy. Get over it, focus on yourself, and use your time wisely. He and Garrett are so in deep with Luke at this point, their whole experience is starting to revolve around him. I know he’s annoyed everyone in the house, and no one likes him. And I’m sure he’s given them plenty of reason to. But they’re handling it totally wrong.

-The group date was basically a repeat of what they did on Emily’s season when the guys had the “Highlander” games in kilts. Even down to the scene where one of the dudes packages got shown. Been there, done that. Wasn’t original. They had to throw axes, carry milk, fight in a circle, and I think that was it. I was really zoning out this whole action portion of the date. I did see Tyler be the only one to have his ax stick in the wood, and he was dead on accurate. Unlike that time he was at Wake Forest and threw three picks vs Fla St. in a rout:

I’m no QB coach, but I’m gonna give Tyler a little advice. On the first pick, he telegraphed where he was throwing. Second one he needed to be more aware of the bum rush that was coming his way and should’ve probably never thrown it with a guy right in his face. Third one he didn’t get any power behind his throw because he threw it falling backwards and the corner read it easily. I mean, they were the #2 team in the nation at the time and you were Wake Forest, so, I guess you’re forgiven. But maybe I kinda see now why he transferred to FAU to play tight end.

-The salmon blazers were out in full force again last night, this time being passed around to Connor as he was wearing it on the group date after party. This is obviously a running joke now, and someone emailed me this morning saying Tyler posted a joke about it on his IG story, so yeah, they know what they’re doing. I just can’t remember a piece of clothing, maybe other than Nick’s scarf, that’s getting this much attention during the show. But Nick wore different scarfs. This is the same colored jacket (well, two of them since Jed and Tyler wore one last week), which lets face it, is a color that not many men wear on a blazer, that is being flaunted at either every group date cocktail party or rose ceremony. I hope in the bloopers this season we get the origin of how this all started and came about.

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  1. justsaying

    June 12, 2019 at 1:21 PM

    Oh to be in your 20s again! Hannah still has the heart and energy to try to “save” or even understand a guy like Luke P.

    Too much work for me and I don’t need the headache.

  2. mrssmith

    June 12, 2019 at 8:27 PM

    If Hannah was going to give Luke P the rose over Luke S, why did Chris take one of the roses away when he left?

  3. jenscho

    June 13, 2019 at 12:14 AM

    Concerning the rose being taken away when Luke S. left I took it to mean she WAS going to give him a rose but he left so the rose that he would have received “left” too.

  4. meljelenr

    June 13, 2019 at 5:52 AM

    Anyone else catch Mike and Luke P smiling at each other and laughing right before Luke got his date card? Surprised the editors kept that little moment in, as it doesn’t fit the narrative of what the show is trying to make us believe.

  5. corn29

    June 13, 2019 at 5:59 AM

    Ladies? Do you even find Luke P attractive? I know I’m nothing to look at but I don’t see this sex appeal in him that Hannah does. To each their own I suppose.

  6. ctrealitygirl

    June 13, 2019 at 11:00 AM

    corn29…I wholly agree with you! On night one I did think he was attractive but the last couple episodes he does NOT appeal to me at all. And actually his looks turn me off. he looks like a rabid animal and also kind of sleazy. Her obsession with him reminds me of Ashley Hebert’s infatuation with Bentley. And what’s ironic, is that J.P. got a 1-on-1 date with Ashley when she was down in the dumps about Bentley, similarly to how Tyler got the Debbie Downer date when Hannah was upset about the Lukes drama.

  7. upmyalley

    June 14, 2019 at 2:54 PM

    I think Hannah is gonna pay for keeping Luke the puke around so long. It makes her look beyond stoopid. I am completely turned off by the slime bag even before he said a single word. How is anyone supposed to respect her when she sees the red flags yet chooses to ignore it? Low self worth much Hannah? I knew she would be an airhead but c’mon, this is ridiculous girl!

  8. justsaying

    June 14, 2019 at 5:58 PM

    I think the hottest guy is Mike. He’s got a great smile too. Steve’s always so down in the dumps on Mike but it would be great to have Mike as the Bachelor. He sounds like he has a real job too.

  9. mrssmith

    June 18, 2019 at 8:57 AM

    My thoughts exactly.

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