The “Bachelorette” Hannah – Episode 5 Mini Recap, “Reader Emails,” BIP Info, & Recap of the Vegas Weekend

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-Gonna be honest, will be a shorter recap today because, well, we had another episode surrounding Luke P. and all his drama. Don’t worry, only four more episodes of this! Chris Harrison wasn’t lying pre-season when he basically said it’s unprecedented this season because in the past, usually guys that are the “villains,” once they’re exposed, the lead sends them home. I don’t remember many ever getting past episode 4 or 5 (maybe outside of Wes. But Wes’ villainy isn’t close what Luke’s is). Luke P. obviously lasts way longer, and when it’s impeding the progress of other relationships, well, people are gonna grow tired of it. They already have. But here’s the thing: EVERYONE has an opinion on Luke. 98% are negative, but they’re feeling something, and that’s what the show wants. When no one cares, no one talks about your show, there’s no buzz around it or “water cooler talk” the next morning, that’s when the show is in trouble. Even if the main topic is Luke P. after every episode, it’s still helping them. Hence the reason they don’t care they’re spending so much time on him. He’s polarizing, in turn it’s making people talk about Hannah and her decisions, and it’s never ending.

-We started where we ended last week, and that was the pissing contest going on between both Luke’s. Hannah sat them down like a mother scolding her two 5 year old children, told them to speak to each other, both of them went around in circles blaming the other one, Hannah had enough and left, I had enough and starting peeling the skin off my face like in “Poltergeist,” and basically nothing got accomplished. But Luke S. decided to peace out right before the rose ceremony started, although we never saw a reason why. Didn’t take much for us to figure out why. 1) He was never gonna win anyway and 2) He knew Hannah was keeping The P over him. Guess I can’t blame him for leaving, but lets face it, it wasn’t a major loss to the show.

-Mike had the first 1-on-1 date when they headed to Scotland, and although Mike seems to be a fan favorite at this point, lets face it, he’s in the friend zone with Hannah and it’s clear as day. He was never going to win, and I know a lot of the social media response is to have him as the next “Bachelor” but I don’t see it at all. It’s just not there for me. He seems to be quite the instigator, he’s letting every single thing Luke does get under his skin, and he’s constantly leading group discussions on how much they dislike the guy. We get it. It’s clear that no one likes him. But Mike seems more bothered by Luke than anyone else and it’s just not a good look for the guy. Get over it, focus on yourself, and use your time wisely. He and Garrett are so in deep with Luke at this point, their whole experience is starting to revolve around him. I know he’s annoyed everyone in the house, and no one likes him. And I’m sure he’s given them plenty of reason to. But they’re handling it totally wrong.

-The group date was basically a repeat of what they did on Emily’s season when the guys had the “Highlander” games in kilts. Even down to the scene where one of the dudes packages got shown. Been there, done that. Wasn’t original. They had to throw axes, carry milk, fight in a circle, and I think that was it. I was really zoning out this whole action portion of the date. I did see Tyler be the only one to have his ax stick in the wood, and he was dead on accurate. Unlike that time he was at Wake Forest and threw three picks vs Fla St. in a rout:

I have been informed that this content is relevant to fans of The Bachelorette. pic.twitter.com/h1Q81IHvvA

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) May 30, 2019

I’m no QB coach, but I’m gonna give Tyler a little advice. On the first pick, he telegraphed where he was throwing. Second one he needed to be more aware of the bum rush that was coming his way and should’ve probably never thrown it with a guy right in his face. Third one he didn’t get any power behind his throw because he threw it falling backwards and the corner read it easily. I mean, they were the #2 team in the nation at the time and you were Wake Forest, so, I guess you’re forgiven. But maybe I kinda see now why he transferred to FAU to play tight end.

-The salmon blazers were out in full force again last night, this time being passed around to Connor as he was wearing it on the group date after party. This is obviously a running joke now, and someone emailed me this morning saying Tyler posted a joke about it on his IG story, so yeah, they know what they’re doing. I just can’t remember a piece of clothing, maybe other than Nick’s scarf, that’s getting this much attention during the show. But Nick wore different scarfs. This is the same colored jacket (well, two of them since Jed and Tyler wore one last week), which lets face it, is a color that not many men wear on a blazer, that is being flaunted at either every group date cocktail party or rose ceremony. I hope in the bloopers this season we get the origin of how this all started and came about.