-The day of the rose ceremony, guys are making their last moves. Jed leaves the group of guys to go serenade Hannah with some horrible ass song that definitely isn’t gonna be in the top 4 billion on the ITunes charts. I mean, I think it was about being her Mr. Riiiiiiiight, and as I said earlier, couldn’t have come at a worse time for him. I was half paying attention, but, there were some pretty sexual lyrics in that thing. Here’s what I’ll do since I don’t have time this morning. I’m gonna go back and watch today and will have the lyrics to Jed’s song for you tomorrow. Deal? Deal. Ok good. When he got in bed with her, Jed dropped this on Hannah. “I really know it, and I feel it, I’m really falling in love with you.” Well, I guess that’s better than saying “I’m falling in love FOR you.” Anyone still have any clue what Garrett was saying with that sentence? Neither do I. Anyway, Jed tells Hannah all those goodies in bed, when just a few months earlier he was telling his girlfriend, “Everything about you feels so right. I love spending time with you. I love your voice. Your hands. Your eyes. Your bod. Your heart.” Soooooo yeah. Totally believable.
-Garrett and Luke P believe it or not had another argument. It surrounded driving, staying in your lane, don’t look out your windows, and texting. Or something along those lines. Luke kept trying to say that he only brought it up to Hannah because Garrett shared his story with the group. Which is true. He did share his story. But zero other guys had a problem with it and none of them went to Hannah to express their displeasure. Luke I just don’t think can possibly be seeing how he’s coming across. I mean, maybe now he does watching it back, but in that moment, it really seemed like Luke was lost and had no sense of self awareness either to the guys, or to Hannah. And when 8 guys don’t give a rats ass about Garrett’s date with Hannah and what they did, but Luke 1) has a 1-on-1 with Garrett about it 2) uses his time with Hannah to talk about it and 3) Hannah then pulls Luke aside to talk to HIM about what HE said to HER, yeah, he’s clearly clueless as to how he’s coming off.
-Again, yet another conversation that Hannah has to have with Luke explaining that what he said/did wasn’t ok. This conversation went around in circles. Now, Luke did apologize, but I was confused on what he was apologizing for and I think Hannah was too because nothing really got resolved. He tells her “I will never tell you what you can or can’t do with your body,” but in the conversation that we all saw, it sounded like that was exactly what he was judging her on. His whole bit was he didn’t like that Garrett shared their “naked bungee jump date.” He even said in an ITM that “there’s no way Hannah went bungee jumping naked with Garrett.” So obviously he was bothered by what they did more than Garrett sharing it. So I don’t know how else Hannah was supposed to take him saying “it felt like a slap in the face.” What did? Not anything Jed, Tyler, Dustin, Dylan, Peter, Mike, or Connor did. It’s Garrett and his date of naked bungee jumping. I’m gonna go find a brick wall and slam my head against it 1000 times. Be right back.
-Ok, I’m back. Didn’t hurt whatsoever. I swear. Just some internal bleeding in my cranium, a concussion, and 18 stitches. I’ll be fine I tell ya’. For the record, that’s now 3 cocktail parties that have now been cancelled by Hannah because she literally can’t even with these guys. And by these guys I mean Luke. And every one of them is pissed at Luke again because he’s essentially the reason for these cocktail party cancellations. Not that it would’ve changed anything and she would’ve kept Dustin or Dylan, but Luke keeps ruining her mood and shit is getting cancelled every week. Three guys safe with roses are Garrett, Tyler, and Peter. Hannah: “I really didn’t know what to expect…did have struggles…bring romance and feeling of love…I really do think my husband is in this room..so glad each and every one of you standing here…really hard choices…amazing week…and Luke isn’t going anywhere y’all. Makes no sense to me either…”
Jed: I think Michael Garofola said it best in this tweet last week:
Ugh, this is painful to read. I mean, if you're dating someone you love, there are other ways to promote your music career, like, I don't know, having actual talent?
— Michael G. (@MichaelGarofola) June 18, 2019
Mike: Friend zone alert! Friend zone alert!
Connor: At least there’s Paradise.
“Hannah, gentleman, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. There’s Dustin, Dylan, and Luke left. Dustin and Dylan are the only two guys left who haven’t had a 1-on-1, on the group date, none of their time with Hannah was shown, and Luke is all anyone’s talking about this season up until last week when Jed’s girlfriend kicked him in the nuts in national outlets. So Hannah, think about this one real hard then make your decision…”
Luke: 3 more episodes and a giant debate coming on sex, religion, and morals. Gee, that’ll be fun won’t it? Ugh. I’m dreading the responses when that episode airs already.
So next week is the episode before hometowns. Connor gets sent home at some point during the episode. Mike gets sent home during his 1-on-1, and it comes down to Garrett and Luke because of course, during the 3-on-1 group date. Luke gets the rose even though he screams and points in Garrett’s face. Seems logical that a guy she’s constantly had to have talks with all season, who every guy hates, who she KNOWS every guy hates, still gets a hometown. Hannah has handled herself great all season. I think she’s been a breath of fresh air with her candidness. But her handling of the Luke situation has been horrible and there’s no way around it. I like the fact she calls him out on everything. But then when you keep giving him roses, you’re only prolonging your own agony.
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