Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, Jed’s Song, & Hannah Speaks Out

Hi Steve,

Would you say the Jed situation is the same or worse than when Jordan Rogers went on Jojo’s season with a girlfriend?

Comment: Worse. I don’t think it’s comparable. Jordan never had a girlfriend going on the show that I can recall. Just really bad reputation that preceded him.
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Hello Steve,

In your column you said bachelor is probably between Peter and Tyler. Are you hearing that it’s definitely not Mike or something? That would suck because to me it’s obvious that it’s going to and should be Mike. They’ve had so much pressure to have a black bachelor, you even got Ellen Pompeo in a Twitter fight with the creators where she says “bachelor so white” which it is. Plus if not Mike I think it’d be pretty clear that the creators intend to never have a black bachelor which is fucked up. Especially when there’s so many movements for him to be bachelor amongst fans. I think your “it’s obvious that it’s going to and should be Mike” should not be stated like that. No, it’s not obvious, and it’s your opinion it should be Mike. Maybe others think that as well, but you’re stating it like it’s a foregone conclusion. It’s most certainly not. I don’t think Mike will be the “Bachelor.”

To Tyler, the main thing that annoys me about her not picking him is that he is so studly but seems to be a good person inside and out by giving back to his community as well as reddit people coming forward saying he really is just that great of a guy. Now unfortunately he’s gonna be a money grab to all the thirsty bachelor alum.

Anyways, thank you for teas!

Comment: I guess time will tell on that one.
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Hey Steve,

In light of the spoiler change this week, I wonder how you’re doing? Does this kind of switch make you question your sources more, meaning do you ever wonder if you’re being fed false information intentionally?

I don’t ask this because “oh my gosh Steve, you’ve got to be wrong, Tyler is the best!” I ask because I would hesitate to trust information if I was in your position.

Thanks for all you do to make our viewing experience more interesting.

Comment: Sources are different every season. Sometimes I have repeat sources that have been right in the past, then wrong later. Sometimes they told me something wrong first before they told me something right. Each source is its own separate individual, and I’m able to separate it that way. Me? I’m fine. Couldn’t be better actually.

As for being fed information intentionally? I believe that’s only happened once. Every other time I’ve been given information that ended up being wrong, I believe the person that told it to me did so believing it was true. I don’t believe they told it to me knowing it was wrong and wanted me to continue it. I’d have to go into detail on every one to explain what I mean by that, and just not gonna do that. But no, only one time was I given info that I believe the person who told me intentionally did it knowing it was wrong. I think. It’s a long story.
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Hi Steve,

Big fan!

Wondering your thoughts on the future of bachelor shows. Especially in light of the most recent spoilers and contestant behaviour, can this show really last? It seems like the quality of people, and everyone being in a bubble is really effecting the show’s results. Thoughts?

Comment: First off, it’s *affecting. Can this show really last? It’s thriving now more than ever. I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. I think the only major thing that could bring it down would be a MAJOR scandal. What we’re seeing these last few seasons of Colton’s indecisiveness, or Arie changing his mind, or Jed having a girlfriend – that’s just drama. That’s not a scandal. I really only think something major like that would cause ABC to rip it off the air.
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Hey Steve – just wanted to first say thank you for making the season interesting. The switch up has definitely added a layer of excitement to things.

That being said, it’s so disappointing to learn what an ass it seems like she ended up with. I wish we had gotten a few closeups of Jed during the first episode when she sent Scott home and told anyone else with a girlfriend at home to get out.

I’m curious – I know you can’t give any details, but have you heard a lot of dirt on Tyler as well? Everyone’s upset he’s not the winner and the guy seems too good to be true on social media, but I’m wondering now if any of these guys come on the show with good intentions.

Thanks again!

Comment: I haven’t heard anything negative out there about Tyler. Doesn’t mean there isn’t. I’m just saying nothing has been told to me.
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Hey Steve,

As you can tell from my subject line I am accepting my bachelor(ette) obsession and emailing you. I just read your reader emails section and really wanted to be a part of the fun, so here we are. A couple things:

1. My best friends cousin is ****** from this season, and she has given me some info on what she has heard. Most of which you have also mentioned on your site, except for one thing I was curious about. (You probably have mentioned this before, but I haven’t caught it). She said that Hannah gets to choose her top 4 and the producers choose every other elimination. Is that correct as far as you know? Wondering if that could explain why terrible people always seem to stick around forever. No, that is not correct.

2. F**k, marry, kill. Peter, Tyler C, and Mike. (Not including Luke P or Jed in this since clearly they are problematic). Who do you chose?

Thanks for all the tea, keep it coming.

Comment: Well, I’m heterosexual so I’m not sure where this game would pertain to me. Wouldn’t this be where you gave me women from the franchise to answer to?
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Hey Steve,

First off, just wanted to say thanks for all of the tea yesterday. As bummed as I am that Hannah went with Jed over Tyler C (and everything re: Blake – I was such a fan of his prior), it really delivered.

Second – this is definitely wishful thinking, but could you see her breaking up with Jed and getting back together with another contestant from her season, if not sooner than down the road? I’m biased because I love her and just want so badly for her to have a happy ending, but honestly, I’d hate to think that all of this drama with Luke P and the way he shames her is for nothing. Watching this season thinking Tyler C won made all of the drama and pettiness feel earned – my roommate and I were watching the one-on-one date going “sucks she’s doing with all of this bs with Luke P right now, but at least she gets it right in the end.”

It’s just sh***y to know now that she doesn’t wind up with Tyler C and this is all leading to her picking an (arguably) even bigger jerk than Luke P. At the very least, we know that in his own convoluted way, Luke was there for her – and we definitely can’t say that about Jed.

Comment: Seems to be that’s what a lot of people want out of this, but how do we know that’d even be something Tyler is interested in? We have no idea where his head is at in all this.
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Hi Reality Steve,

In the past when someone was F2 suspected of being F1, they just kept their mouth closed but Tyler & his family keep liking fan accts, pics, & videos of him & Hannah. Are they all in on the fakeout? There’s a difference between keeping your mouth shut & being an active participant. That’s some major manipulation. He has a strong social media game. He’s crafting quite the narrative for himself and knows how to play the game! Feeling a bit played by him if true.

Comment: I don’t pay attention to who’s liking who, etc. Because we’ve have plenty of final 2 men and women in the past like stuff that put them with the lead, and obviously they weren’t. So in the end, it meant nothing. If that’s what they’re doing, you’ll have to ask them why they’re doing it. If anything, just seems like they’re having fun with it since Hannah isn’t with Tyler, she’s with Jed.
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Hey Steve,

Thanks for all your info! I haven’t been able to stop checking up on your page to see what’s new (yes, I have a lot of free time right now).

What I’m wondering, though, is this:

Did you start to look further into the final rose winner after you heard about this Jed story yourself?

I’m sure you have other supporting information, but honestly, it makes total sense to me when I think about it. Right after I read the article about Jed, even I had some questions before finding out that you’d changed the final rose winner from Tyler to Jed. I was disappointed that Tyler C. was not the winner, but I’m not in disbelief. My best bet is that in trying to remain inconspicuous by avoiding this girl (in the hopes that if he just ghosted her the problem would go away), Jed in turn made the outcome of the show COMPLETELY obvious. Why else would he avoid her? Especially if he didn’t propose to Hannah. Certainly seems logical. If he was single, why wouldn’t he just get back from the show and continue to sleep with her? So many others guys have done it in the past and will do it in the future. They’re single, they can do what they want. Same goes for the women. I’ve heard it from both ends.

To me, it seems that Jed was just holding his breath hoping to get by without the news leaking. By avoiding her, he’s given her no recent proof of contact (other than before the show) so that even if she did end up having the nerve to expose him (which I’m sure he assumed she just wouldn’t do), he may be able to salvage any bad reputation by spinning it another way (as you said he will do). It’ll be even easier for him to do, in my opinion, because he came clean about using the show as a platform and people may trust that he’s being honest. Which is also why I believe he’s not dumb enough to take the pictures or comments down— he knows that there are already screenshots, and deleting any of it will make it seem as though he has something to hide. Which he does.

This is how players play, my friends. In my experience, f***boys tend to believe that if they ignore a problem they created for long enough, it will just cease to exist—thus, the ghosting with no explanation.

I’m feeling pretty bad for Hannah if she’s engaged to this idiot. I feel like she has put a lot more into the show than many of the leads in the past have, and she is probably blindsided and embarrassed by the news. Honestly, I’m shocked that he was able to maintain such a believable front for so long. I know the guitar was alarming for a lot of viewers—a red flag if you will—but even though I never wanted Jed to win, I’ll admit he has grown on me this season. I could see why she chose him.

If I were Hannah I’d be confused— Jed appeared to be one of the more mature contestants. He managed to stay out of house drama, didn’t get too competitive and I’ve seen the other men from the house amp up what a great guy he was throughout this whole season— until now, of course. No clue how a guy can fake it this well.

Anyways, thoughts?

I’d also love to hear ANYTHING more you can get on Dylan and Hannah. I’m surprised they matched up in paradise but I think they’ll be a good one. She’s a sweetheart, and I feel he’s pretty underrated this season. Rooting for them!

Thanks!

Comment: Jed’s thought process in this whole thing is definitely a head scratcher. And yes, I agree. In a way, the guy probably thought he was invincible to a certain extent and this wouldn’t come back to bite him. Not sure why he thought that, but he clearly did.
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Hi Steve,

I’ve been a reader of your blog since I started watching The Bachelor a few years ago. Recently when you listed the cast for Bachelor In Paradise, something caught my attention. Chris Bukowski. He’s from so far back compared to the others. This got me thinking, maybe the producers are setting him up to be the next bachelor.

I only started watching with Ben Higgins’ season so I haven’t seen Chris on the show before. But, seeing how far back he was from reminded me of Arie, and seeing how many times he was on the various shows reminded me a little bit of Nick Viall.

I’m getting a feeling that Chris is being set up for the bachelor so the producers can try to get another shot at what they might have tried to do with Arie.

This is just a theory I had, I don’t know know if it’s true or not. What do you think though? Do you think it’s a possibility? Or is it crazy?

Thanks for reading this if you do!

Comment: Chris Bukowski as the “Bachelor?” A SEVENTH season that he appears on, and this time as the lead? No, that’s not happening. I think people are gonna be surprised by Chris this time around.
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Hi Steve – I have to say I’ve become a reluctant fan of yours. I don’t usually read your spoilers until the last third of the show so I am not a religious follower of your column. But I love your podcasts and, like I said, have become a reluctant fan. Really I guess I should say at this point, I am a fan (you and Ashley). I wanted so badly to go to Vegas for your meet up this year, but it didn’t work with my schedule.

So anyhow, on to the Jed situation. I don’t know if my opinion will be shared by many. I’m not in the same demographic as most of the readers (I am much older and have kids in college ?), but I’m recently divorced and had to re-immerse myself into the dating and dating app scene over the past two years. And in that time, I dated a lot of guys in their very early 30’s (and clearly I am not even close to 30’s). My observations from getting to know these guys, in my limited experience, is that a lot of guys are dating and hooking up casually with multiple women. Guys seems to be keeping their options open and not settling down as much as they did in the past. Hence, the f*ckboy term that gets thrown around so much now. It sucks for the women but it’s also just out there. And TBH I think there are a lot of f*ckgirls out there too (no judgement). But the other thing is that most of these guys (and girls) will eventually settle down (think Arie, not Nick ?). Were they f*uckboys right up until the end, yep! Will they continue to be after they find “the one” — who knows…maybe, or maybe not.

So what I am trying to say is that people should stop giving Jed such a hard time. Did he hook up with a lot of women before Hannah? Sure, most likely. Did he maybe even have a steady hook up right up until the show? Sure sounds like it. But was that girl “the one”, or was he still keeping his options open like every other guy (and girl) out there? (And remember he’s only 25!) It seems pretty likely she was not the one, and maybe Hannah really is. He admitted he went on the show for his career. He didn’t think he’d like the girl, but maybe, just maybe, she is the one for him. Okay, probably not, but that doesn’t mean he’s a-hole for coming on the show. I bet more than half the guys on the show had one or two steady hook ups going into filming. Whatever…happens all the time and people need to get over it. Unless the guy is engaged to be married or at the very least living with another woman, he’s still on the market and if he’s going on a dating show he clearly is not that into the girl he left behind!

I really think people need to get over it. You can’t go on this show and think that everyone there has been ? single for at least 6 months. In this hookup culture that we have, especially with a bunch of good-looking people, that is highly unlikely. I know they gave that Scott guy a hard time the first night and that probably was undeserved as well. They wanted to stir up drama and Hannah probably knew already she wasn’t that into him. Like I said, I think it’s perfectly legitimate to go on the show with other women still back home that you have hooked up with in the past and might again in the future. But if by some grace of God you meet your soulmate on the show (and it HAS happened, just not frequently), then awesome for you! You can give up the hookups pretty easily. No harm no foul. And P.S., didn’t Jen Scheff say she had a boyfriend going into her season of The Bachelorette?

I’ve rambled enough. Curious to know what you and others think. I was happy when I heard Hannah picks Jed. He’s been my pick from the beginning (and I wasn’t ever spoiled by Tyler).

Now I’m going to need to keep checking your website to see if you use any of this ? Have a lovely Thursday!

Comment: It’s an interesting post and you bring up a lot of good points. I do see what you’re saying and agree with a lot of it. Yes, there’s tons of f***boys in this franchise and there always will be. And women too. However, within the concept and idea of this show, what Jed did has every right to be criticized because of the intentions behind it. It’s hard to take him at face value that the feelings he developed during the show are legit. How can anybody believe that to be true? Because he said so? He told a woman he was dating before he left he loved her. Three weeks before he left for filming he was with her in the Bahamas exchanging ILY’s. The whole thing just screams exactly what Jed said he was here for – a platform. And regardless of if that changed once he started dating Hannah, to me, I can still have heavy doubts about the guy going forward and what his intentions are. And so should Hannah.
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Hi Steve,

Thanks for the spoilers as always – disappointed with the change in winner but I trust you, so Jed it is!

I have a question on Bachelor in Paradise. Why do the contestants make their Instagram accounts private while they are there? Most of them already have hundreds of thousands of followers, so it’s not like they’re really “hiding” and you’d think if they suddenly went private, that’s a giveaway they are on too. Just makes no sense to me since most of the contestants are verified and confirmed contestants.

Keep on keeping on!

Comment: Yeah, I guess we can chalk it up to some being rule followers and some not caring. But the show is way more lenient with BIP “spoilers” any way, and who the cast is is something that they’ve never really cared about. Whether they left it on or not, most people would be able to tell since all are frequent social media users anyway, so if they leave it on then all the sudden aren’t posting for a week, it’s obvious they’ve left for filming. I honestly just don’t think the show cares as much. It’s been proven over the first 5 seasons.
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Hi RS,

Just listened to your podcast with Christen, where she noted she wasn’t really into Nick on her season, but wanted to stick around to have fun. This got me thinking, how often do contestants that are clearly not front runners 1) realize they aren’t a front runner 2) want to stay more so for the experience than for the lead? Obviously they’d never have someone say they aren’t that into the lead. Also curious if this happens more with the girls on Bachelor or guys on the Bachelorette. Probably more than you think. And I think it’s pretty even on both sides from what I’ve heard over the years.

Also, re: spoiler change, watching the edit, Tyler C has had a lot less visibility than Jed, so I’d previously watched thinking, “Wow, he’s getting the Catherine Lowe edit” but now it makes more sense with Jed getting the screen time he has.

Probably the only thing crazier than changing your spoiler will now be if Hannah were to change her mind before the finale airs, but like you said, she probably won’t and stick by Jed in at least the short term.

Thanks for all the enjoyment you provide in watching the show!

Comment: It would only be crazy to me because we just saw that three seasons ago with Arie. It just wouldn’t be all that shocking at this point.
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Hi Reality Steve,

I am a fairly new addition to Bachelor/Bachelorette Nation and I have to say that I am thoroughly entertained by both the shows and you/your blog/what you do. This is actually the first Bachelorette season that I’ve watched since Emily’s season.

I’m curious about your thoughts on the number of “douchebags” on Hannah’s season. It seems to me (and I could be wrong) that there are a larger number of guys who made the show that were then exposed as people with girlfriends, abusive pasts, big lies, etc in comparison to previous seasons. I am wondering if you think this was intentional on the part of the producers. It seems like they spend a lot of time “vetting” the contestants prior to, and to have this many guys pop up throughout filming of the show with secrets that get them swiftly eliminated? Did they leave a few in there that they knew were sketch just to pump up the drama this season? Is this just an unfortunate coincidence based on the type of guy Hannah likes and/or the age of social media and internet documentation of every mistake a person makes? I guess I am just curious how far you think the show will go to manipulate their lead. If the extra douchebag numbers was intentional, I find it pretty mean. Hannah seems fragile emotionally and its almost like everyone’s laughing at her expense. To be a fly on the wall in production…

P.S. I discovered Sharleen through your site. I also adore her. Turns out she is friends with one of my best friends that lives in NYC. Small world.

Comment: I went over the vetting thing on page 1, so those are my thoughts on that. I just think, and I know I’ve said this a million times, but when the Jed story is front page on all the entertainment sites – that’s good for them. People are talking about it, which in turn, will make them want to tune in more. Now, with the Jed stuff there really won’t be any resolution until he addresses it publicly himself, which is looking more and more like it won’t be until the ATFR.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. thecuriousgeorgette

    June 26, 2019 at 10:10 AM

    I think Hannah has known ahead of time about Haley and things have been rocky with her and Jed. I remember watching her initial press tour interviews and listening to her remarks about how she’s learned a lot through this show, not sharing whether or not she’s engaged, she just hasn’t looked particularly happy, and I think she has been dreading the Luke P. story playing out AND dreading information coming to light about Jed. I don’t think she will end up engaged at the end of this, sadly. But I truly believe that is far better than her being with a douchebag. I think she WAS engaged and might even be right now, but I see her breaking things off before it’s all over.

  2. mariet

    June 26, 2019 at 5:49 PM

    Oh, boy! Steve correcting a reader’s grammar!? Effect vs affect. Really? When he doesn’t know the basics– to vs too, your vs you’re, plural vs possessive. I gave up commenting on the lack of his writing skills (that’s not why we are here), but when he did that–yikes!

  3. justsaying

    June 26, 2019 at 7:52 PM

    Never mind Jed can’t even friggin pay his own rent at his age but Jed-apologists all seem to make excuses that you need to be engaged or at the very least living with another woman or married with kids to stop hooking up casually. Yuck!

    Has any of you Jed-apologists ever heard of VD?? Pretty sure that stuff carries into a marriage too. Protect your vaginas, ladies!

  4. shenanigans

    June 27, 2019 at 5:19 AM

    As a somewhat older viewer, I tend to agree with the poster who isn’t being hard on Jed. Let’s face it: he clearly wasn’t committed to Haley to have done what he did. They had only been dating for four months and had just taken their first vacation together. Clearly, she thought it was the beginning of something special, but Jed wasn’t nearly as invested as she was. That sucks, but it’s life. We will never know how it would have played out if he hadn’t gone on the Bachelorette.

    As far as Jed and Hannah, I’d like to think that he told her everything long before Haley came forward, but I doubt that’s the case. If he DID tell her everything upfront, they might have a chance. After all, it’s possible that he developed true feelings for Hannah that he didn’t anticipate and wants to see how far they can take this.

    Granted, it’s equally possible that they will implode because they don’t have the foundation they need to survive this. Time will tell, I guess.

    Bottom line: Jed wasn’t married to Haley, engaged to her, or committed in any way. They were having a relationship and he ended it to go on the Bachelorette. (And, face, it, that’s what happened, despite the cutesy note he left her. When push came to shove, he ghosted her because he met someone else who he wanted more.) That’s not a great situation, but I don’t see it as the huge betrayal to Hannah that Steve is making it out to be.

  5. justsaying

    June 27, 2019 at 8:47 AM

    Shenanigans,
    I suppose if you enjoy dating cheaters or you enjoy being around people who say ‘I love you’ only to sleep and date others, who is anyone to judge what you enjoy.

    For that, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy your fake I-love-yous, cheaters and casual hook-ups.

  6. adelina

    June 27, 2019 at 10:10 AM

    I completely agree with you @shenanigans. I keep thinking, okay this isn’t a great look for Jed, but it is hardly rake over the coals level stuff. Haven’t we all fell for someone, got caught up in the story we want it to be only to realize later it really wasn’t that great.

    This Haley relationship was 4 months long. He found a shiny new object and regardless of whether it’ll last (probs not) who cares???

    Hardly salacious.

  7. justsaying

    June 27, 2019 at 10:25 AM

    Grocery-Joe said it BEST, why didn’t Jed just get on American Idol instead of a dating show?

  8. ctrealitygirl

    June 27, 2019 at 10:46 AM

    God bless Grocery Store Joe! He hit the nail on the head! Judging by what I’ve seen of his musical abilities, I can see why he didn’t apply to American Idol! I guess the Bach-ette, is the best platform for 2nd rate musicians to get exposure now. How many have we seen thus far?? I can name at least three or four right off the bat – Wes, Luke Pell, James Taylor, Jed…and I’m sure there were more. I hope we’re not going to be flooded with more scenes of Jed serenading Hannah between now and the end of the season…ugh

  9. thecuriousgeorgette

    June 27, 2019 at 4:21 PM

    Honestly, he probably did and couldn’t get past the audition process. The dude does not have a stand out, spectacular voice at all. Singer songwriters have a hard time in general, because today’s fad is having an unreal singing voice. You can’t be Bob Dylan anymore and make it big.

  10. upmyalley

    June 29, 2019 at 6:02 PM

    Lmao at Hannah stealing Olivia’s line about ‘standing in the sun’ from the show Scandal. Way to plagiarize Hannah! Maybe in the future you can learn how to form an original thought now that you’ve (somewhat) learned how to form a complete sentence! As far as caring about Hannah mounting more men than the Canadian Mounted police mount horses, I don’t care one iota and no one else should either. There’s plenty more things to pick on her about that matter like her lack of discernment and overall confused disposition. I say get a life coach and work on yourself before considering marriage.

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