Reality Steve

Reader Emails

Biggest “Reader Emails” of the Season

Photo Credit: ABC

Normally on a regular week of “Reader Emails,” I get usually anywhere from 25-35 emails. This week we’re basically double that as I believe we’re close to 60 this week. And that’s with me deleting quite a few because they were repetitive questions. As the season ramps up, and obviously with the amount of information and tea that’s been spilled the last couple weeks on the site, it’s only natural that the interest and questions begin to spike. I know I say this every season, but anyone who judges whether or not they’re going to watch immediately after finding out who the lead is is just mind boggling to me. You have no idea what’s going to happen on any given season. This season couldn’t be more representative of that. Go back to the night of the ATFR when Hannah was live and couldn’t even put a sentence together as she met Luke P, Connor, Cam, Dustin, and Luke S. Everyone said then this season will suck. Has Hannah stumbled her way through sentences this season? Has Hannah not been 100% candid about how she’s feeling at every single moment? It’s been refreshing. You don’t wanna break out the old cliche, but this season it definitely holds true: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” This season has been a sh** show, the lead had to end her engagement, but it sure as hell has been wildly entertaining. I’m here for it. And so have a lot of you. All the “I’m not watching this season” people sure as hell are watching. And you’re reading this site. So thank you.

Ratings are in from last night and the show held steady from last week drawing 5.71 million viewers and a 1.5 rating, both equal to season highs. As we head into the home stretch, look for those numbers to jump a bit. Especially for that boffo ATFR when all hell is gonna break loose. Get your popcorn ready.

No dilly dallying today. Lets get right to “Reader Emails.” Oh wait, one thing before I start. Happy Birthday to my niece Olivia who turns 15 today. Some of you who have followed me for years probably remember back when I used to put her and her brother on the live chat I did Thursday nights where all she talked about was Selena Gomez and what shows were on Disney. Yeah, now she’s 15 and has her first boyfriend. I don’t wanna talk about it. Plugging my ears. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Lets get started…

Hey Steve!

Remind me … the top 4 typically don’t go to paradise, right? Luke would be great paradise material. Top 3. The #4 guy on the “Bachelorette” has been on that immediate Paradise in 3 of their 5 seasons (Marcus, Dean, and Colton). Luke is not on Paradise this season.

I haven’t seen much talk about the Bachelor. Are you thinking Tyler or Peter? Peter reminds me so much of Ben H. I would think production would love him, although he’s a little too normal. I’ve seen a lot of people advocating for Mike. What are your thoughts? It’s between those two, yes. I just don’t see any other viable options.

I have been reading your site since college! (10 years ago!) I’m a 32 year old mom of 2 now. I still enjoy watching even though I know all the behind the scenes stuff now.


Comment: Wow. 10 years. So you hopped on board right around my first spoiler. I think that’s when a lot did because that’s when it started getting out there publicly. Crazy to think that Jason’s spoiler was 10 years ago and far things have come. Pretty crazy ride.

Hi Steve,

I think the timing of this Jed news is pretty excellent. Obviously the show producers weren’t planning on the ex gf, so it is really interesting watching these song scenes that are clearly meant to show us what a great dude Jed is, when we know he’s not that rest of a dude. We also know that his agent submitted him for the show, so in a lot of ways we know that ABC encourages this kind of “here for the wrong reasons” guys for whatever reason. Why do you think this is? I’m also curious how much you believe him? Do you think he’s actually in love with Hannah? Or selling his product? Obviously he came here to do the second, but do you think it’s possible/probable that he falls madly in love? A lot of questions there. ABC ultimately doesn’t really care about scandal because it brings eyeballs to their show. I’m sorry, but they are enjoying every second of what’s playing out behind the scenes now since it’ll make their finale must see TV, even more so than it usually is.

Yeah, it is kinda funny how the “here for the right reasons” thing is brought up every season, yet ABC is the one who’s out there recruiting people to come on their show, or getting agencies to submit clients, etc. It’s definitely hypocritical. They’re acting like 25/30 people every season are just randoms who were sitting at home, filled out an application, and are dying for a chance at love. Please. Gimmie a break.

And not a question but a comment as a pro musician on what I think is the elephant in the room: he’s a really bad singer. It’s not a good voice or sound. It’s manufactured, basic, breathy, and poorly produced with bad technique. So I’m really enjoying the irony of him clearly self promoting what I hear to be a pretty mediocre product.

Just my $.02

Thanks for your spoilers as always!

Comment: You aren’t the first to say that. Might be why he’s not much of a solo artist, only released a few songs, and is mainly a backup singer in his band.

I hope Peter’s ex will decide to come out with her story about him having a girlfriend close to filming, so he doesn’t become the next Bachelor. She can go all T Swift “Look what you made me do.” on him and protect the next batch of girls from wasting their time with him. He seems slimy to me regardless.

Comment: I’ve spoken to her since the Jed story. She contacted Haley to thank her. That’s who Haley was referring to in the podcast that I didn’t realize til after the fact. I don’t think she’s going to come forward. Media outlets have contacted her as well and she’s feeling overwhelmed. Not to mention after seeing what type of hate and dismissive attitude Haley got from a lot of people, she doesn’t think it’s worth it right now. But we’ll see. I’ve had people tell me stuff like that in the past then change their mind. Impossible to predict.

I have been watching The Bachelor Bachelorette since season 1. Thank you Steve for your spoilers. They improve the watching.

What is the big deal with Jed and Peter having girlfriends before the show? Doesn’t Hannah have boyfriends she is all over and possibly more in the fantasy suites right up till she gets engaged? At least the guys usually dump their girlfriends before the start of filming.

Comment: Really?

Hi Steve!

Occasional reader and avid podcast listener, first time writer. Thanks for the spoilers and the engaging interviews! My thoughts to add to your reader emails for next week if you’re so inclined.

Specifically writing in response to your comment “let’s face it, Tyler’s appeal is his looks first and foremost.”

Tyler was arguably my LEAST favorite contestant night one.* I made several assumptions about him based on his intro video – namely that he was vain and stupid – based on the shirtless dancing and florida mumble-drawl situation. I’m a physician and a big nerd and there’s nothing I find less attractive (or “yummy” as you put it) then a combination of narcissistic and vapid. Give me thoughtful, intelligent and funny over a chiseled jawline any day.

But DAMN has my opinion evolved. The bach nation obsession with Tyler started after his one-on-one, where he started the day by busting out a nicholas-sparks-worthy pep talk then followed it up with a series of subtle bon mots. This showing by Tyler prompted some googling among my friend group – hot damn, this guy has an MBA and he’s starting a business as an independent contractor? I feel bad admitting this, but my exact text to my friends was “ok revising my opinion, he is definitely not cognitively impaired.” Right after I sent that, Tyler posted about reading the tattooist of Auschwitz on instagram and I had to ask myself if I was prejudiced against good-looking men.

Everything he’s said since has been articulate and funny, and I go into every week just hoping for more Tyler screen time. I also follow him on social, and his instagram stories are routinely hilarious. He’s also quite clearly using his nascent platform for good causes right off the bat – promoting a friend’s social enterprise that helps NYC public school students, making fun of luke P (kidding, kidding… but actually kind of serious about that being a good cause). He’s also gently self-deprecating, making fun of his own marble mouth and even his football career (just as much of a football career as colton, right? But instead of shoving it our faces he gently leans into the haters and makes fun of those interceptions).

But last week’s episode was when Tyler graduated from “oh ok, the subjectively hot guy is actually smart and seems awesome” to being the first character from this franchise I give enough of a shit to bother writing an email about. His defense of Hannah in response to Luke P’s ignorant and ridiculous slut-shaming was just wonderful. Not only was he defending her autonomy and celebrating her, it seemed like he was actually making a (futile) effort to actually get through to dumbass Luke: “don’t you think it’s a double standard…”

I went bungee jumping and now kinda wish I’d done it naked. And if I had, someone saying “I actually respect and love that she just went for it,” is the guy I’d want to date if I were single. Easy to say that was just an attempt to curry favor when he was still in the running, but Tyler is still out there on social media defending Hannah. When dumbass James Taylor from Jojo’s season took it upon himself to cast hypocritical shade on Hannah last night, Tyler tweeted a thoughtful response. It would’ve been WAY easier to just keep his head down if he was campaigning for bachelor and he seems smart enough to realize that.

Obviously at this point I’m looking at that intro video in a totally different light. This guy is just a huge goofball, and confident enough that he doesn’t need to take himself that seriously. He also doesn’t hesitate to immediately stand up for what he feels is right, including in defense of an ex girlfriend.

So you’re right- a former football star with an 8 pack and panty-dropping subtle facial asymmetry who also appears to be deeply kind, funny and a feminist ally and advocate doesn’t fit the Ben Higgins/Sean Lowe/Colton mold. But it’s 100% the latter half of that description that 1. makes me drool and 2. makes me hope he’s the next bachelor.

There’s a meme out there floating around:

-Luke P: “I would move mountains for you”
-Tyler C:”she has the ability to move mountains.”

To be clear, I’m good with Pete or Mike too and watching regardless – the bach is my weekly brain candy and I either love it or love to hate it, zero complaints either way. But as a mountain-moving woman, I felt compelled to explain why lots of us are team Tyler C and his looks are just icing on the tight-pants-dancing-cake. I bet $100 Ashley Spivey agrees.

Ooh! Let me put it in terms you are DEFINITELY going to understand: Tyler C is my Emily O’brien.

*Let’s be real my least favorite by a marathon was for SURE “Jesus talked to me in the shower” but he’s not even a real person at this point

Comment: Well, I hope you didn’t think I was minimizing Tyler’s appeal. I’m not saying he doesn’t do any of those things you listed. I’m just saying lets be honest, when women are commenting on Tyler on social media, and creating memes about him, I’d say 99% of them surround his looks, not how he speaks or what he does for the community. And I’m just stating a fact when I say that in 23 previous Bachelors, none were models. They may have done some modeling in their past, but I’m talking about as their main job and something in their IG bios. Unless I’m forgetting someone but I don’t think I am. I don’t think Tyler is doing much construction. Have you seen him post one thing in regards to construction in the 2 months he’s been home?

Hey Steve,

Thanks for all that you do providing us with answers. I have two questions for you.

1) When does the men tell all and the AFTR the rose special film? MTA tapes next Friday the 12th. ATFR is the night of the finale, which we now know will be 2 nights, the 29th & 30th.
2) And the next bachelor reveal comes after BIP is finished airing, correct?

Comment: Since Paradise started 5 years ago, the Bachelor announcement has been at the very end of August or beginning of September. So I’d go with that timeline.

Hey Steve,

I’m one of your New Zealand fans. Thank you for all the hard work you put in to keep our “tea” hot and flowing both during filming and during each season. I’ve definitely gotten more hooked on the show since I started reading your spoilers, so many seasons where I would’ve quit watching if I hadn’t heard from you how juicy a season was going to get or how certain people had so many secrets to hide behind their tv smiles and instagram pics. ABC should thank you for keeping so many of us interested in their show

My question is: do the people on Paradise have zero information about what’s going on in the outside world, like would those who have been filming in Mexico – majority of whom must know Hannah the Bachelorette better than ever – still not have had any access to any info/still not have heard about Jed and Haley via articles and social media? Yep. Same as if you’re on Bachelor/ette. You have zero contact with the outside world. No phones, tv, books, music, magazines, etc.

Because I would loooove to be a fly on the wall to see their reactions (maybe some of the guys already heard about Haley from Jed?) when the cast finally get their phones and internet access back and discover what a shit storm has been going on back home while they’ve been filming.

Especially people like Demi who were there to witness Hannah’s reaction to Scott having a girlfriend before filming. I wonder (and I guess we will hear some of their reactions eventually no doubt) how they reacted when they first heard what their girl Hannah had gotten herself into while they’d been busy in Mexico because a lot of them care about her (and care about Jed)

…even Caelynn would have an opinion at least, anyway…I’m sure they had enough of their own drama to deal with in Mexico as you’ve said. Can’t wait to read your Paradise spoilers next week or whenever they come out. You’re the best!

Comment: Well that happened this past weekend. Quite interesting to say the least.

Will Nikki Ferrell be making an appearance in the Bachelor World again on BIP? I didn’t even realize she was divorced now, but saw a picture on her Instagram that BLAKE liked…so maybe she is part of his circle of romance there?? Just thought it was interesting that he “knows” her since she is so far removed from his season. Probably a long shot…

Thanks for the Tea!

Comment: No, she’s not on BIP.

RS…I know this is probably a total longshot but do you think Chris Harrison would ever do your podcast? He probably won’t, but why do you think that is? Because they just don’t like you? I think it would be a FASCINATING podcast.
Thanks for all you do.

Comment: Chris Harrison would never do my podcast for one major reason – he knows he would be put in a very uncomfortable position being asked questions he knows he can’t really answer truthfully. And if he tries to lie about the answer, I would call him out for lying. It just wouldn’t be a productive interview.

Hi there Steve,

I’ve been watching the Bachelor franchise on and off since it started. It’s total garbage and I can’t seem to keep from watching. I think it’s cause I can’t believe the bachelor concept attracts applicants and then when people are on there, I can’t believe the way they act. It’s like watching alien species. I look at celebrity stories and photos in the same way – it’s a totally different world I have no part of, nor would ever want to be part of.. but I watch from the outside. It’s like going to zoo.

I don’t watch with anyone and don’t have anyone to really converse with about the show, so here I am.

Luke is uninteresting to me because he’s shown who he is upfront. However, Jed is interesting to me because he’s hidden who he is – which makes him considerably more insidious than Luke.

I keep hearing about how people are waiting to hear Jed’s side. If Jed didn’t tell Hannah about Haley on day 1 – then whatever he has to say now, has no weight. It has no weight, because he allowed Hannah to fall for him without all the information. Omitting vital information is lying. That’s about trust. Without trust you have nothing. Even if he broke up with Haley before he went on the show, it’s still vital to bring that information forward because if you are freshly broken up with someone, it means you could possibly not be in an emotionally healthy place to start a new relationship and it’s not fair to the new person to not at least let them know. It is up to the new person to decide what to do with the information. If Hannah didn’t have the information, then Jed took that choice away from her. The only way Jed and Hannah move forward in a positive way is if it turns out he broke up with Haley some time (a few weeks at least) before he went onto the Bachelorette and he told Hannah about Haley right away in the beginning. Anything short of that means the relationship isn’t based on the most important thing – trust and it’s not real.

I feel badly for Hannah because when emotions come into play, especially romantic emotions, your brain takes a backseat until you muddle through those emotions (as we’ve seen her do with Luke P.) and Jed has put her in that position. Not ok.

The ONLY way Jed comes out of all this with any chance of redemption is if he says the following: “I was dating Haley right up until I left to go on the Bachelorette, and I loved her. I came on this reality tv show for my music career, it didn’t once occur to me that there was anything “real” about this show and that I’d fall in love with Hannah.. but to my complete and utter shock/surprise I did.” and that’s it. Anything else (denials etc.) leads downward, zero chance at redemption.

I noticed that Tyler Cameron defended Hannah against some shaming against her on social media yesterday. If Jed is not playing his cards honestly and authentically, he’s done (even if it’s not right away.. it’s a dead end relationship).. I think Tyler is sending Hannah a message that if she’s got feelings for him (like he does her) that she still has a choice – him…. he’s waiting for her with open arms. Which is pretty damn cool.

At the end of the day, Hannah came on the show for the right reason – to find love. She was presented with men who she didn’t know, who may or may not have had ulterior motives, and she did her best with it. She couldn’t have done any more than that.

Do I think she should have gone on this show? no. No one should. But to each their own. The way it works and is set up is extremely questionable on every level. But hey, it’s good TV.. it’s got people watching. I do acknowledge that for some this franchise has changed their lives for the better, heck there are humans in this world that now exist who otherwise wouldn’t have, had it not been for the show. Good things can come out of crazy circumstances!

Anyway, I don’t expect you to have read this whole probably get about a 1000 emails a day, but it feels good to have written this email and sent it out there to someone else who watches this show nonetheless!

Comment: Excellent email. Agree with pretty much all of it. And yes, we don’t need to hear Jed’s side. If Haley came forward with zero receipts, then yeah, we could hear his side and it’s a he said, she said debate. But she didn’t. We saw what Jed said to her seconds before he left to get on a plane. I’m sorry. Whatever happened after he landed and during filming doesn’t excuse the fact that he was telling someone else he was in love with them right before. Not to mention the sex with someone else that you know now about that happened 2 weeks before his Bahamas trip with Haley. So if ANYTHING, Hannah should just not believe what the guy says. How can you?

He should get up there and admit he screwed up. Anything else, or trying to justify what he did, or discount his relationship with Haley will make him look even worse. You screwed up big time, your engagement was ended because of it, so just own it and move on.

Hello Steve.

I just finished listening to your interview with Haley and I was floored. Wow.

Recently, I have been frustrated with myself for getting too involved with the show and spending too much time and energy watching the show and listening to the pods.

But, I am really glad I listened to this interview. I was really inspired about how you are using your platform to call out men like Jed and support women like Haley. It is not easy to stand up for yourself, like Haley is doing, and not put other people down. It takes a lot of courage for Haley to speak up and stand in her truth.

Jed is not a “bad” person, but his behavior is not acceptable. He needs to be called out for that.

I am also shocked by the amount of hate that women like Haley and Hannah are getting on social media. It speaks to the sexism and misogyny rampant in our society. Interviews, like the one you just had with Haley, are a way to speak out against that kind of mean behavior.

I agree with the email you posted this week that talks about your personal growth. I have been following your site since it started and I think you have really grown and matured. I appreciating your support of women like Haley who have treated badly by the men in their lives. I understand that in hindsight she did not make the best decision, but that does not excuse how she was treated. My heart goes out to her for the tremendous repercussions she has had to deal with that she had no idea would happen. Life lessons are not easy sometimes.

I also appreciate how you have supported other people, not just women, whose lives have been affected by this show.

Interviews that stand out to me are

-Meredith explaining how she was abused on the show and never reported it.
-Wes who has grown and changed a lot since the show and has become a different man
-Olivia who was portrayed as a villain but is really a very interesting and talented young woman
-Craig Robinson who worked so hard to overcome his addictions

You are using your platform to help make a difference and I find it very interesting and enlightening.

I understand that ABC has a show to put on and they want to gain a big audience. However, sometimes the affect that has on people’s lives can be devastating and heartbreaking. You have helped bring some of those issues to light. Thank you for doing that. Keep on writing and doing your podcast. I will be reading and listening.

Comment: Thanks. Definitely four of my favorite interviews. And you’ll love tomorrows podcast as well since it’s Olivia again for the first time in 7 months. Plus, we do a Final 10 where I actually answer all the questions I ask as well.

Hi Steve,

Love the bachelorette, but I have a Beverly Hills 90210 question for ya! What are your thoughts on Emily Valentine being a part of the reboot?

Comment: Wait, is she? Are you telling me she is and you want my opinion? Or are you asking if I’ve heard if she’s going to be? Here’s what I’ll say if Emily is gonna be on. That’s great and all, but bringing her on and not having Valerie Malone as part of this reboot is ridiculous. I’ve been pretty vocal about that. People have said it’s because Tori and Jenni still have beef with her. Do they? I thought that was resolved? Anyway, that’s a stupid reason not to have her on if that’s the case. Hash out your differences ladies. It’s been almost 20 years for Christ sakes.

Hey Steve,

So glad Haley went on your show! My heart aches for her, but I know she’s a really strong lady and know she’s going to be okay after all of this passes. I actually looked up her group, and she is actually incredibly talented! Really glad that you were able to have her on for a whole podcast to share her whole story and give her a voice! It’s disheartening with all of the “she’s gone to every media outlet, why won’t she shut up!” noise said about her from people who didn’t listen to her full story!

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: Yeah, it’s frustrating to give her a 90 minute platform, something no media outlet had up to that point, and then have people who clearly didn’t even listen to the thing say, “She’s gone to every outlet.” Such a cop out thing to say. She said more in that interview than all the previous ones combined because we were able to dive deeper into things she said in the other interviews she did. I have zero use for people like that who dismiss something so easily. And you know how I know they didn’t listen to it? Because they were making comments within 90 minutes of me posting the interview. Some were 10-15 minutes after I posted. Now, I’m no math major, but if an interview is posted at 8:00am and is 90 minutes long, and you tweet or email me something dissing the interview any time before 9:30, well, then you’re a troll who never listened to it.

Also, lets throw in the clueless dolts who immediately were saying she was playing the victim, and what a moron she was for letting her boyfriend go on the show. Ummmm, again, she addresses both of those things in the podcast. Never once said she was a victim and clearly admits it was stupid for her to let Jed do the show. She should’ve put her foot down.



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