Reader Emails

Biggest “Reader Emails” of the Season

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

I had been a semi-fan of yours for years but hadn’t started listening to your podcasts until I recently started commuting, and now I’m a super-huge fan. (Yours and Olivia’s podcasts are my go-tos now during my daily commute.)

Just wanted to know, based on how self-aware you seem to be and how much you seem to understand that language/word choice conveys meaning, why do you keep saying Haley “let” Jed go on the show? This would have bothered me right away if it had been a man “letting” a woman on the show, and then I realized that I’m being kind of a hypocrite if I didn’t question it the other way around (hope that makes sense).

I’m team Haley for sure, but this whole idea of “letting” people you are in a relationship with do something feels kind of wrong. My take was it was something that they discussed and that she was ok with, and that was that. Was there a larger conversation regarding if she didn’t want him to go what would happen? Maybe I missed that in the podcast (noises and smells on the BART are distracting).

If I had ever been in a relationship where someone was “letting” me do something I’d feel a bit controlled. Just saying, wording can sometimes mean a lot.

Thanks for all you do and thank you for keeping me company on my miserable daily commute!

Comment: I think we’re arguing semantics here. Yes, she still “let” him do it because they were involved with each other, but that’s not the only word to use. You heard the podcast. She’s fully aware of what she did and what a mistake it was.

Hi Steve,

Whoa. This season is a dumpster fire. 100% hard core, mattress-burning dumpster fire. Thank you for doing what you do.

I’m super curious about the social media branding that so many cast members get into. I’m wondering how lucrative it is, and how long of a shelf life do you think the average contestant has? The franchise is churning out new people like crazy, so they are a dime a dozen. I’m genuinely intrigued by the continued fascination with people from the franchise from years ago…I seriously can’t remember 2/3 of the people from the current season let alone any in the past. On a fairly bitter side note, I went to college, got a couple degrees, and have worked my tail off to earn a big paycheck and I’m thinking its WAY easier to play the reality TV part for 6 weeks and then promote some hair vitamins on instagram.

Lastly, I don’t have social media, but I creep on your twitter like the crazy Reality Steve fan that I am.

Comment: It’s different for different people. The more followers you have, the more money you can make. Will it last forever? No. And that’s the problem is that most of these contestants seem to think it will, quit jobs, move to LA, and they just don’t understand how much of a dime a dozen they are. Yes, this is one of the more popular reality shows, and if you compare it to Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race (all the ones that have been on TV the longest), this show by far producers more “influencers” than probably those other 3 combined. People get lost in it, it becomes their life, and they lose sight of what’s really important. We see it every season and it’s not changing anytime soon. Sad, but it’s reality.

Hey Steve!

We all know Tyler and Peter fit the “bachelor formula” to a T. Peter has a Ben Higgins vibe & Tyler? Well Tyler is attractive AF & seems to be a great cheerleader who sticks up for Hannah but also lets her figure things out on her own bc he knows she smart and capable.

But Mike is where it’s at (IMO). I know you originally said Mike Johnson was not a likely choice for the next Bachelor. He was my favorite from night one. I didn’t see him ending up with Hannah but I thought he’d be a GREAT bachelor. He can be a little emotional sometimes and clearly wears his heart on his sleeve but so does Hannah. These days show seems to be open to having leads that are a little more “real”. That being said, have you seen the HUGE campaign online of #Mikeforbachelor? Whoever is in charge of casting the next bachelor surely is aware that he’s gained a HUGE following.

At this point in the game who do you think the top 2 contenders could potentially be?

Comment: Tyler and Peter. I know people want Mike. I just don’t think it’ll be him.

Hi Steve –

Since you had a firsthand look, what do you think of the Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch romance? Their lack of chemistry on-screen has me doubting if they even date in real life. Becky tries too hard to be the boss of the relationship and Seth makes third grader wisecracks towards her and the situation. I’m liking both of them less and less every week. At this point, I barely have them lasting longer than Hannah/Jed.

Comment: Well, to be fair, they just started dating. And now WWE is incorporating that into the storylines, so it’s probably a little bit weird for them. Plenty of wrestlers have dated each other in the past. Hell, Charlotte is dating Andrade now. When you’re in that profession, and spend more time with those people than you do at home and/or with your family, for sure relationships are gonna develop. Impossible to say how long Seth and Becky will last because breakups also happen all the time in that company as well. Stephanie and Triple H made it and have 3 kids, when a lot of people were saying when they first started out he was just using her to work his way up in the company.

Hi Steve!

I normally don’t read your blog because I like to be surprised but all the drama this season has been stressing me out so I had to read the spoilers this time.

My question for you is, with the recent promo showing Hannah sending home Luke P on the overnight dates, that is so unlike the show to give that piece of info away so far in advance. Why would the producers actually give that away in a promo instead of making us wait in suspense for that scene in the show? Just seems weird to tell us a few episodes ahead of time when he actually goes home? ????? So I’m curious why they did that?

Comment: It’s definitely different for sure. At the beginning of the season they teased that scene. Ever since the first episode they did. Then a couple weeks ago they hinted it was Luke. Then this week, they full blown gave it away. Probably because there’s only 4 guys left and there’s not much mystery to who it could be at this point.

Hey Steve!

A couple thoughts:

1) In regards to the “windmill” incident, would it have actually been possible for Hannah and Jed to have privacy from producers to have sex (twice?) in the windmill if it was during just a normal one-on-one? Or even during their overnights for that matter, because how would they sneak out of the hotel to the windmill to get busy? I guess I’m asking if the producers ever allow a lead to have privacy outside of the overnight date. I mean, they allowed Kaitlyn and Nick to. So they will make it happen if a couple wants it to. But in the Netherlands, no, it didn’t happen.

2) This has been bugging me about Hannah’s season: I don’t think Luke is that far off-base to be upset with Hannah having sex with the other guys. I get that that’s the show he signed up for, so blame for being on the show in the first place is on him. But at the same time, he’s been upfront with Hannah (from what we’ve seen) that faith is important to him, and monogamous sex is a key component of his faith (now). He’s perfectly within his right to tell her that it’s a deal-breaker for him if she’s had sex with someone else while she’s essentially dating him on the show. That’s not judging her—that’s just him being honest what he needs in a relationship. (Monogamy.) And it’s fine for Hannah to “own” her body and have sex with every guy if that’s what she wants. But it’s not cool for her to be so pissed at Luke for being upset with her choice, and for her to cry all “female empowerment” and “my body is my own and I can do whatever I want” when at the same time she’s the one who’s been keeping him around, and she knows that having sex with the other men hurts him emotionally. I mean, if the genders were reversed, wouldn’t she basically be considered a player? I’m curious to see if she’ll own up at all to making a mistake in keeping Luke around for so long, but that the mistake was on her part, not his. He wanted something very specific in their relationship. (Monogamy.) She knew this. And yet, she chose to do the opposite. She wanted something completely different in their relationship (sexual freedom, essentially) and it seems to me it’s more on her than him for stringing him along. Get ready. It’s coming…

3) I get that Luke’s personality is pissing everyone in the house off. But damn, aren’t all the guys acting like assholes? Garret came across like Chad-level psychopath with that creepy grin. Jed seems like a jerk. Tyler is even trying to egg Luke on. And it’s middle-school-level shitty for Garret to be talking with Luke, and then when his buddy comes in, to laugh and be like, “I wasn’t being nice to you. I was messing with you pretending to like talking to you.” Other than Peter, I don’t think any of guys have really been “good” guys. Have we seen a season where the men are all ganging up on one individual?

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Thanks as always!

Comment: I’d say this emailer is Team Luke. Which is great, because there doesn’t seem to be a ton of support out there for him. I wouldn’t call the other guys all assholes. The points you made are pretty correct. Yeah, Garrett came across shady last episode. We know more about Jed now. I thought Tyler’s insult was stupid and a low blow. But, as Tyler said, when there was 15 guys and EVERY ONE had an issue with Luke, he’s gotta take some responsibility and probably realize it’s not all 14 of the guys who have a problem, it’s probably him.

Do you know who all from the BIP cast got to go to the wedding? Connor and Whitney seem like such random guests, if they didn’t allow everyone to go. I could see them wanting Blake there since Becca was there just to capitalize on all of his issues in Paradise. Yeah, not everyone who was still on the show went, but I don’t know, or even understand, what determined who could go and who couldn’t.

Do you know if Blake and Kristina left BIP as a couple?

Comment: No, they didn’t.

Hi Steve! Thanks for this season.

Few questions/thoughts.

Random, but a few weeks ago, I was driving in Huntington Beach (I’m from the area) and I saw Michelle Randolph and her boyfriend Gregg in front of what I’m assuming is her parent’s house. I went back to the hometown date episodes because I was curious if they used the same one and apparently, they did. Just a little fun fact. Not sure if you knew that. I wonder why some people choose to show/use their house for those episodes and others don’t. I’m not going to say where exactly they live, but their street is really close by lots of shops and can get busy during the day and maybe even at night.

I’m as Liberal as they come. Gay bachelor/bachelorette? Sure I’ll watch! BUT this whole Demi thing on Paradise is a bit gross feeling and opportunistic of ABC. Did they see that MTV was coming out with a gender fluid cast of Are You The One and think they had to act fast and knew it would air before? They take the credit for being the first reality show with a same sex couple/engagement? It’s one thing if Demi’s girlfriend was APART of the franchise but she’s not. So I don’t understand or get it. What’s the point here? Why was it pre orchestrated? Did they want Demi that bad on paradise for what… her commentary? I’m sure Demi isn’t THAT much of a draw. People would have still tuned in with or without Demi on Paradise. Your questions are valid. And ones that a lot of others are asking as well. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense other than it seems to be very exploitative.

I don’t know where Hannah’s head is at. And this is all just hypothetical. But if she does make it clear that she’d like another chance with Tyler, I just can’t see how he can turn that down? He’ll look like a complete asshole, no? For his sake, I hope Hannah doesn’t say that she messed up and wants another chance. I hope they kind of just leave it to be. Because if he wants to be the bachelor, he’d obviously have to turn her down but then he’d just look like an opportunist and asshole if he was just saying on the episodes how he did fall in love and blah blah blah, you know? Most people don’t get the opportunity where the bachelorette/bachelor come back and say they made a mistake. No, they just get offered the bachelor/bachelorette gig OR paradise and then move on, no hard feelings. So, I’m sure there will be exchanging of the typical “I still care about you” but I think it’d be best if Hannah didn’t try to get back with Tyler and maybe put him in a hard situation. What if he says he loves her but isn’t in love with her anymore because time has passed and he’s moved on? I don’t think that’d make him seem like an opportunistic asshole.
Lastly, how is Hannah being so clear headed and calling out Luke, but STILL keeping him around? Does she knows it’s good TV and that she’s ultimately not going to choose him, so it’s whatever, not a big deal? Maybe in her mind, she probably already has her top two and the others don’t really hold a candle, so is that what this is? She doesn’t actually need more time with anyone else to decide who she’s actually into so she doesn’t mind Luke being in that place? Because I can’t wrap my head around how many times she’s called it out and then just… lets it go. I understand women are put in this position all the time, the manipulation, the making up, all of that. But they usually are already in a relationship with that person and aren’t in a TV show and have other guys also in a “relationship” with her where it’s OK and safe to get out of that situation you know? So it just doesn’t make any sense.

Sorry, know this is all kind of wordy, but first time emailing so thought I’d get my thoughts in. Thanks again!

Comment: I think it’s pretty clear the one thing that kept Hannah and Luke on the same page and why she kept him around is how strong he was in his faith. I think she kept thinking on paper, that’s exactly what she was looking for and he checked the boxes. Then everything started happening on the show, but she still kept going back to her initial instinct, her initial attraction, and didn’t want to admit so freely that maybe she was wrong.

Not sure if you can or are willing to answer this, but have you been in contact with Hannah? If you have, did you give her all the information you’ve had on Jed before you broke the story on Haley and the other hook up?

Comment: No. Never had any contact with her in my life.

Hey Steve!

Love your podcast, spoilers, recaps. Big fan!

SO glad to hear Hannah ended things with Jed. I’ve really grown to love her and her “I don’t care” attitude. She’s a badass woman! I hope she finds someone who not only lets her be exactly who she is, but who cherishes her completely and isn’t full of BS lies like Jed 🙂

ANYWHO I’m currently watching Lauren Zima’s (love her) Roses and Rosé live with Nick Viall (bleh). Someone in the chat bar just wrote that “it will come out that Hannah DMed Luke after first meeting on ATFR.” Is there any truth to this to your knowledge?

Comment: I haven’t heard that. Again, it’s the reason why comments/message boards are ridiculous to me. Anyone can say anything about anyone with zero repercussions. And not only that, all it takes is for one person to believe it and start running with it themselves saying “they heard” this, it spreads like wildfire as truth, when in reality, the original person who said that didn’t back it up with anything.

Hi Steve,

I’m a big Tyler C fan but I was just wondering why no one is making a big deal about him doing the show to pursue his modeling and acting career. He just signed with a talent/literary agent- Innovative artists. In his Mom’s fb page, she said that he was pursuing acting. I like him a lot but I’m always wondering if he was really there to find love or is that just secondary. Was he really there for the right reason?

Thanks for the spoilers.

Comment: Plenty of them do it. It’s become the norm now. Anyone who claims they’re going on the show first and foremost for love is lying out of their teeth.

Hi Steve!

Have you considered messaging Hannah those text messages privately that were shared with you but no longer felt the need to share publicly now that they have split? While I understand not sharing them with the public at this point, if I were Hannah I would want to see them.

Comment: No. If she was still together with Jed, they would’ve been posted yesterday. But she’s not, so I don’t see the need to post them anymore. I’d only be posting them so she’d see them because I’d want to know if I were her how creepy my fiancé was being 6 weeks before professing his love to her and getting engaged. But they’re not anymore, so I felt it was piling on.

Hey Steve, I think you’re great and appreciate your columns and dedication. Just wanted to point out that yes it was absolutely petty for Tyler to go after Luke’s height with the 5’8 comment. But you also incessantly mock Jed for saying “wanna make out y/n” in a text. There are a million things to criticize about Jed and the wording of one dumb text is low hanging fruit, just as there are plenty of things to be said about Luke but his height was an easy jab. To be fair, both things are petty.

Comment: I don’t see how either of those are the same thing. Luke can’t control how tall he is. Jed can absolutely control what he says in a text to someone. This is comparing apples and oranges. I don’t see the similarity at all.

Hi Steve

Watching the show last night I was delighted when Peter returned to the hotel from the group date with a rose…and the guys all jumped up off the couch in joy, then Tyler did the “Run and Jump” and straddled Peter…just like the women all do when meeting up the guys on the latter one-on-one dates. The first though that occurred to me was, “Can’t wait to hear what Steve has to say about this!” So, I was disappointed this morning when i got up and saw your tweets about not having watched the show live and just skimmed thru later. If you haven’t watched the scene yet, you simply MUST! It was hysterical! I saw, and it was kind of a half jump. Would’ve been funnier if Tyler jumped and straddled Peter for a good 5-10 seconds. He didn’t.

As for today’s “late-breaking” news about Hannah breaking a clean break with Jed, I can honestly say I’m thrilled and now cannot wait to see it played out on TV in a few weeks. Watching the next few episodes knowing what we know is gonna be pain-staking, watching her gush all over him – especially having to watch him propose to her. And I can’t imagine it will be fun for her to watch it back either. I am one of the avid Tyler fans, but would rather see him be named the Bachelor rather than wind up with Hannah. And after what’s she’s been thru, I simply don’t see her running to him. If she runs back to anyone, I’d bet money on Luke P! Earlier today I watched a recent interview with Hannah describing her feelings for all her top remaining guys. And when she described her feelings for Tyler she didn’t gush about him, mostly just that he was “fun.” It really is kind of sad for her to end up with no one. But I guess it does make for good TV.

PS: I, too, was a little taken aback and kind of disappointed with Tyler’s height comment. Was not a good look for him.

Thanks for sharing all the juicy news…made my day!

Comment: She’s not going back to Luke. That’s not happening.

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  1. justsaying

    July 3, 2019 at 12:15 PM

    The best thing will be for Jed to show up at the ATFR apologizing profusely, and I mean PROFUSELY to Haley, ‘Barbie’, Hannah and his dad. Ideally, Jed says he’s in therapy or rehab for sex addiction and he’s learning how to feel remorse. The cherry on top will be he finally has a job at Starbuck or Costco (plenty are hiring) to pay for his own rent and his own living at his age.

    And Peter, if true, he got away with the same crime as Jed and as insidious as Jed. Peter should apologize to his ex and learn to take accountability and he should feel remorse.

    Oh a lady can dream…

  2. taxionna

    July 3, 2019 at 2:50 PM

    Per the last email, pretty sure Reddit has been all over this in the last couple of years and it is Becca Tilly. Sad for her that she doesn’t feel comfortable coming out 🙁

  3. elizabeth82

    July 3, 2019 at 3:14 PM

    Becca Tilley would make sense to me. She just didn’t seem into guys. Curious why she went on the Bach then.

  4. tinyred500

    July 3, 2019 at 3:49 PM

    taxionna and elizabeth82. I keep hearing Becca Tilly, but there’s more than her surely. I think Nick Viall and maybe even Colton, I think the latter two could be just bi. :o/

  5. adelina

    July 4, 2019 at 7:46 AM

    @tinyred — I’m going to guess Becca Tilly is the right answer. While I can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone to “come out” I also think she’s doing a great disservice by not coming out. I mean really, who cares. I agree about Nick Viall being a possibility as well as Colton.

    Speaking of the reader email regarding contestants riding their 15 minutes of fame. No one has really done it better than Kaitlyn Bristowe. The fact that she and Shawn Booth stayed together for so long certainly helped. I do have to say though while I find her to definitely have a bright personality, I don’t understand the serious followers that she has. She has a scrunchie collection and it seems women set their alarm to buy these things. It’s a head scratcher for sure. And now she has wine? Baffling I tell you. Just baffling.

  6. tinyred500

    July 4, 2019 at 10:12 AM

    @adelina, I agree that Becca is probably the one being referred to by the emailer. I think coming out is easier said than done. A family member of mine came out in her mid twenties, and struggled all through her teenage years with her secret, despite knowing her family would love and embrace her no matter what.

    I laughed out loud over your Kaitlyn take, especially people setting their alarms for her scrunchies! Lol lol What a weird world we live in! I was bemused with her selling these, mostly because they went out of fashion overhere years ago, but obviously not in America etc. Agree she’s a bubbly character.

    Happy 4th of July to all the American commenters and readers from me over in the old colony. 😀

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