Reader Emails

Biggest “Reader Emails” of the Season

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

At the risk of sounding like Chris Harrison, these are the most dramatic spoilers ever! Thanks for all the tea (as the kids say). Here’s a few questions, which I hope aren’t lame questions like “who’s gonna be the next Bachelor?” and “is she gonna go for Tyler now?”:

1) Does Jed HAVE to go on ATFR? Does his contract make this mandatory? If he does go on, what do you think he’ll say? Is there anything he can possibly say to redeem himself? Yeah, he pretty much has to since he’s an important part of the season. I don’t think he can redeem himself where he’d coming out looking like a good guy. But I do think if he gets up there, tells the truth, and admits he royally screwed up, he’ll get less hate. I’d be surprised if he did that though.

2) Is there any chance the show will go full-on Jerry Springer and bring Haley to ATFR? Or *Barbie? Well you heard me ask Haley if she would do it and she didn’t see any positive in that. And no one knows who *Barbie is outside of me and a few others, so definitely don’t see her going on.

3) Since you opted out of running *Barbie’s texts, will she offer them (or sell them) to another outlet? That’s not the impression I got from her, no.

4) Do you think Luke and/or Jed will ever show up on Paradise, or are they too despicable? Possibly in future seasons because you never say never, but, they definitely aren’t on this season.

5) I know this is a long shot, but do you think the show will do a Hannah 2.0? I imagine viewers will think she got a bum deal this season. “Hannah’s second chance at love” might be a good storyline. I don’t see that.

6) Is Winter Games coming back? Please tell me the answer is no.

Thanks again, Steve! And I’d like to echo the letter writer who commented on your personal growth the last few years. “Woke” is a good look on you. J

Comment: I don’t think it is. Unless they’re only gonna do it every four years and run it simultaneously with the real Winter Olympics. Then I could see them doing it that way.

Hello Steve,

I’ve been reading (and listening to) your content for a while now and this is my very first time sending in an email. All I want to say is that I couldn’t agree with you more about the Tyler / 5’8” comment.

I know everyone is all about Tyler and what a great guy he is, and that you haven’t heard anything negative about him, etc., but I was actually quite turned off, and frankly angered, by his comment about the “villain” being only 5’8”. I mean who makes a comment about somebody’s appearance these days? Aren’t we supposed to be better than that? Luke can choose to be a total douchebag, but he can’t choose his stature.

Yes, most people aren’t as vertically “gifted” as Tyler (clearly me being one of them haha), but it doesn’t make you any better of a person (aka Bachelor worthy) if you’re 6 foot whatever and making remarks like that. I’m not sure why there aren’t more people commenting on this, but I think it’s strange to dismiss so I’m glad you mentioned it in today’s column.

Thanks for all your great work. For some reason the Bachelor/ette is just so important to us ? Enjoy the 4th!

Comment: Yeah, that’s how it came off and I think it just wasn’t funny or creative to call someone a 5’8” villain. Doesn’t make him a horrible person or someone that should be hated. Just made him look petty in a season where he’s seemingly had all of America fall in love with him.

Long time reader first time writer blah blah blah blah blah you’ve heard it all a million times. That being said I don’t think it might come down to it being an either or situation for Tyler; not saying Hannah would necessarily agree to this but I could also totally see production having Tyler be the bachelor and convincing Hannah that she has it in the bag and have her go back on the bachelor. Tyler may even tell her that she will get his final rose and it’ll be all some sort of preconceived story line for the next season. Am I behind realistic…haha no of course I’m not, but I also wouldn’t put it past production to try and make it happen. Hannah would be painted as a villain for showing up late (which I’m sure would happen in said scenario; which again I doubt she’d go for) but fans would also love her having to now win him over and it would prove she wasn’t just going after him because Jed was a POS. Again will it ever happen? No! But your thoughts?
Comment: If Tyler becomes the “Bachelor,” zero chance Hannah goes on his season. That doesn’t make sense. She’d have such a leg up on everyone, why even put her on the show. Either they decide to rekindle things off air, or make him the “Bachelor” and Hannah isn’t a part of it. I don’t think you do both.

Hey, Steve! OMG, who did Hannah f*ck in a windmill???!!!!


Seriously, just wanted to say how much I appreciate how you handled the interview with Haley last week, and with all the women whose stories you’ve helped share in the last couple of years. It’s been really awesome to watch you evolve and be mindful in how you have those conversations. I hope other men out there are watching and learning about how to talk with and support women.

Two questions for you, one personal and one about the show.

First, has hearing all these stories about guys being douchebags and women being violated (up to and including assault) changed the way you think about or approach relationships? Or the way you interact with women in your life (including family and friends)? I would imagine it would be hard *not* to do some personal reflection and growing after having some of the conversations with women that you have. Just curious about how that’s affected you personally. 100%. Moreso in that thinking back to past relationships and things I said and did I need to change going forward. I’m not talking anything major, but just how I dealt with certain situations in the past.

Second… maybe I’m jaded from years of dating, but is anyone really surprised that the guys who go on this show are dating/hooking up with girls right up till the minute they leave for LA? That squares pretty much exactly with all the dudes I dated in my 20s. Like, duh, most guys are dogs. Statistically, if you put 30 guys in their 20s and 30s in a room, half of them are going to be f*ckboys. Why are people acting so shocked that the guys on this show act the way guys do literally everywhere?

Thanks so much for all the great coverage this season!

Comment: Because they are led to believe what they’re watching is real. And no matter how many years this show’s been on, and how many times we’ve seen crappy guys come and go, people still want to believe this is all real, every man/woman is there to find the love of their life, and that this show is about love and romance. Those people are living in fantasy land, yet, they’re there every season. It’s inevitable.

Hi Steve?

So if Mike is in paradise does that mean he’s not in the running to be the next bachelor?

Comment: Colton was on Paradise last season and he became the “Bachelor,” so it’s always possible. But I don’t think “in the running” matters. All that matters is who is chosen in the end. And I don’t think it’ll be Mike.

Thanks for the update on the Bachelor AFTR show, especially the 2-night finale info. My question is, how do you think they will handle the Men Tell All Show? Since the outcome and breakup is so highly publicized now, thanks to you, Hannah, and others; how can they avoid this issue? Usually towards the end of the show, they ask the guys, as well as the audience who they think the Bachelorette will choose. Will the guys still pump up Jed (mainly), as well as Tyler and Peter and say how they are wonderful guys. Will the guys still be in Jed’s corner? Will Luke think this gives him an outlet and justification in stating how right he was in that he was the only one that was there for Hannah. He wasn’t there for sex or fame, he was all in to Hannah and the relationship. Mind you, I’m not agreeing with those “possible” statements, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to elevate himself with all the mess that’s happened since. How can any of the guys along with the show put on a façade as if the world is not aware what’s happened? Yes, I realize there are plenty of people who are not aware and/or don’t like reading spoilers, but good grief. But when The Bachelorette herself is putting it out there, my gosh. Too tough to say at this point, since with another 2 night finale, we don’t know exactly what’s gonna be shown before they film the MTA. And I can’t remember the last time they went around the cast and asked who they thought the lead would pick. They used to do it every time. But it’s been years since they’ve done that.

Also, I don’t understand people’s desire for Hannah to NOW choose Tyler. Why would Tyler desire to be someone’s 2nd choice. I would consider that to be rather insulting on Hannah’s part if she were to do that. You are correct in saying this situation is not like Arie or even Jason Mesnick. You may have FF during Hannah’s date with Tyler, but during their conversation he stated how he has a hard time even believing in relationships and marriage due the situation with his parents. I did not see a strong connection with she and Tyler – granted this is an edited show and we’re not shown all of their conversations. If I were in the same position as Tyler, there is no way I would run back to a person I dated who had chosen another person over me, professed her love for him, accepted his proposal, planned on marrying, hell breaks loose, and NOW you come to me to pick up the scraps. No way! But then I wouldn’t be on this stupid show or in this type of dating environment in the first place! Hannah needs to sit back and reflect. I loved how outspoken she was and assertive; however I disagree with some of her standards. If she is truly removing herself from this “relationship” with Jed, I commend her and am proud of her loving herself enough to make that choice; but please don’t jump into contestant #2. Relationships and the entering of relationships should not be treated as an assembly line – even though that’s the premise of this show!

Comment: There’s definitely arguments to made on both sides of this for sure. You present a compelling one for her and Tyler to not get back together. But maybe Tyler just wants to and was hoping things would end with Jed? We just don’t know.

How do you think that Jed could have faked his way through the hometown date with Hannah? Wouldn’t his family have known that he was with Haley and have to lie about it to Hannah?

Comment: I’m sure he told them he broke up with Haley and they were no longer an item. But just like I really don’t think he told Hannah the full story about her, I’m sure his family was seeing the texts and that card to her for the first time when the story ran. Because if he was open and honest with them before he left, then it would just make them enablers.

Hi Steve,

Tuesday’s are becoming my favorite as of late. Thanks for all the entertainment.

Seems like it’s been a busier year in the bachelor world this year, I know your job and attention go to that. But let me just say I love when you have survivor guests on your podcasts. Some of my fav! I think you’re a great interviewer, so I enjoy it more than other survivor podcasts. Any chance to get some more during the off season?

Do you have a favorite survivor season you can recall? No. They all kinda run together for me. But I do remember really liking the season that Jeremy won. Second Chances?

Who are some of your favorite contestants? Eliza Orlins ha ha. I only say that because I know her, but I’ll always love Eliza. Stephen is great. Boston Rob is a hell of a character. There are a lot. Not a ton of “villains” on that show.

Have you kept in touch with Meredith after your podcast, aside from asking her about the reunion show? We’ve texted a few times here and there. She got a new job she told me about recently.

Do you know if she’s doing okay since the story picked up steam in the media for a little while? Sounds like she’s doing great, but we haven’t had any in depth convos so it’s tough to really know.

With last Monday night’s preview about the windmill, and what you said in Tuesday’s column. Do you think the show is taking the opposite approach of how Hannah having sex in the windmill is going to be portrayed than Kaitlyn and Nick doing so in her hotel room? Yes. I think they learned their lesson.

Maybe because of the backlash Kaitlyn got? Or because it wasn’t with her final pick? But since it sounds like it was with Jed and he’s her final pick, it’s not as exciting for them to put it all on tv? Orrrrr do you think it’s because it’s 2019, and it fits the story of Hannah not feeling ashamed about the choices she makes?

I know a lot of people want Hannah and Tyler to reconcile. Assuming that doesn’t happen, do you think they’d likely have her be the bachelorette again? How do her ratings compare as other seasons? I don’t see them using her again. Just because we’re gonna have a whole new batch of women to choose from next January, and while Hannah is fresh on everyone’s minds now, once this blows over, she’ll go back to her life and all will be forgotten. I think this has been one of the more memorable seasons they’ve had and we’ve seen things from Hannah we haven’t seen in previous 14 leads. I mean, after her ATFR performance where she could barely speak, how many people will crucifying her saying how awful she’d be as a lead “because she can’t even form a sentence?” Uhhh, are they saying that now? She’s said and done things we’ve never seen before, so that first impression she gave off at the ATFR couldn’t be any more different than how she’s come across this season.

As a matter of fact who has the best ratings in the era of DVR’s, Hulu, and ABC streaming? If you know, or if it’s not too much trouble to ask. That I don’t know.

Do you think Ashley or JP would ever come on your podcast? For whatever reason that season still stands out as one of my favorites.

Comment: Your guess is as good as mine.

Hi Steve,

As an avid site reader and podcast listener of yours, I have two non-Hannah related questions for you.

1. I was blown away by your interview with Craig Robinson. I was always a fan of his, and he always came across as just a down to earth, nice guy. I was shocked at his revelations about himself, but also applaud the bravery in sharing his story. Have you spoken to him since the interview? Can you give any update on how he is doing in Florida? I’m rooting for him! Yes. Last time I spoke with him was about a month ago I believe. Said he was 9 months sober, still with his girlfriend, and things were going great. Was awesome to hear.

2. When you went through the Temptation Island podcasts, Katheryn Golden mentioned that John would be coming to visit her. Did that ever happen? I never read anything about them becoming a couple, and am wondering if absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder.

Thanks for what you do!

Comment: Yes. Both of them documented their whole weekend together on Instagram in their stories. But after the weekend, Katheryn was getting asked so many times if they were together and she made it clear that they will always be close friends but are not dating.

Why is there more dirt revealed about the contestants in recent seasons than in the past?

Comment: Social media is the easiest answer. And people are more willing to call people out because now they have a platform to.

Hi RS –

Thank you for everything you do! I love your writing, spoilers and coming to your site to read your take on the episodes.

I just have to defend Luke..! Of course he’s not perfect, doesn’t seem like the best choice for Hannah (clearly), but oh my god, the guys are just mean to him, and it’s annoying. We get it, he’s the villain, he’s done and said stupid sh**, but they seem to gang up on him, and go out of their way to comment, or pick fights. Why is it such a big deal that when Hannah asks him about whats going on, he talks about it? He’s supposed to say, “oh sorry Hannah, I can’t tell you because the guys told me not to talk about them?” Give me a break. The whole thing is so dumb. I also totally agree with you about the 5’ 8” comment – pointless and just further proves how these guys are going out of their way to be rude to him. He shouldn’t have blown up in Garrett’s face, but again, I feel like he’s remained so calm towards them this entire time, I am shocked it took this long for him to react that way. Wasn’t a great look, but I just can’t blame him. I never like the villains of the show, normally hate them like everyone else, but I like Luke, and feel bad for not only the edit, but for the way the guys are like obsessed with hating him. They should have just forgotten about him, and focused on Hannah. Also, when he was happy that one of the guys was sent home, or when he was upset that Hannah was “naked” on her date, the guys beat him up for that? Is that really so terrible? The other guys may be friends with each other, but they are there to be the last man standing, so yes, the others need to be sent home. And maybe Luke came off bad, but how can you blame him for being upset when the girl he’s “dating” was “naked” with another guy? The whole thing is just annoying!

Just needed to defend him a little.
Thanks again for everything!

Comment: A couple Luke defenders this week. He needs as many as he can get.

Hey Steve!

If Bachelorette had awards like Razzies for different episodes and a category was,

Completely Obvious Detail About A Situation That A Contestant Feels The Need To Narrate,

do you think Garrett would win for including his verbal narration of “double pistols” or Luke P. for his spot-on mathematical skills in which he uses his fingers to remind us that two roses on a group date is better than one?

Comment: He’s one smart cookie.

Dear Steve,

Thank you for making the show so much more entertaining to follow. With the news of Hannah’s breakup with Jed I am wondering how she might be left feeling toward the franchise. I know you are always skeptical about intentions, but if she was really doing the show to find love, and now we know it was sort of doomed with Jed from the beginning, do you think she blames the show in any way, or that they owe her any sort of apology or another chance somehow? Is this a case of the show not vetting their contestants, or just bad luck that Hannah fell for one with a girlfriend back home? I honestly think it’s more sh***y luck than anything. It sucks for her, but she’ll probably be better for it in the end.

On the other hand, didn’t Jordan have a playboy reputation before going on the show and getting engaged to JoJo? They seem to be a happy and successful couple now. Perhaps Jed would have changed his ways also, but Hannah isn’t giving him that chance.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Comment: I think the two situations are totally different.

Hi Steve,

I am not sure if you have ever addressed this but why doesn’t casting ask applicants for their dating history with names and phone numbers to avoid unnecessary drama outside of the show? They don’t necessarily need to contact them but they can try to look for signs that the applicant may already be in a relationship. Unless ABC already knows if an applicant was dating someone, yet still casts them for ratings which would really suck for the Leads.

Comment: They do. But who’s to say the applicants are being honest with that information? And if they don’t provide the info, ABC can’t possibly know beforehand.

You may have already answered this in previous reader emails. I tried to go unspoiled this season but finally caved and I haven’t completely caught up on the blog yet. Do you think “fame” went to Blake’s head and caused him to run amok or was he like this prior to the Bachelorette? I don’t remember you ever posting much tea on him like that in Becca’s season. Absolutely it did. There’s really no other explanation for it.

On Bekah’s podcast she mentioned theres someone in BN who is LGBTQ but won’t come out I guess in fear of people being butt heads about it. Do you know who this is? Not asking you to name names but curious if its widely known throughout BN. I highly doubt she was talking about Demi. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do. And yes, a lot of people in Bachelor Nation are aware.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. justsaying

    July 3, 2019 at 12:15 PM

    The best thing will be for Jed to show up at the ATFR apologizing profusely, and I mean PROFUSELY to Haley, ‘Barbie’, Hannah and his dad. Ideally, Jed says he’s in therapy or rehab for sex addiction and he’s learning how to feel remorse. The cherry on top will be he finally has a job at Starbuck or Costco (plenty are hiring) to pay for his own rent and his own living at his age.

    And Peter, if true, he got away with the same crime as Jed and as insidious as Jed. Peter should apologize to his ex and learn to take accountability and he should feel remorse.

    Oh a lady can dream…

  2. taxionna

    July 3, 2019 at 2:50 PM

    Per the last email, pretty sure Reddit has been all over this in the last couple of years and it is Becca Tilly. Sad for her that she doesn’t feel comfortable coming out 🙁

  3. elizabeth82

    July 3, 2019 at 3:14 PM

    Becca Tilley would make sense to me. She just didn’t seem into guys. Curious why she went on the Bach then.

  4. tinyred500

    July 3, 2019 at 3:49 PM

    taxionna and elizabeth82. I keep hearing Becca Tilly, but there’s more than her surely. I think Nick Viall and maybe even Colton, I think the latter two could be just bi. :o/

  5. adelina

    July 4, 2019 at 7:46 AM

    @tinyred — I’m going to guess Becca Tilly is the right answer. While I can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone to “come out” I also think she’s doing a great disservice by not coming out. I mean really, who cares. I agree about Nick Viall being a possibility as well as Colton.

    Speaking of the reader email regarding contestants riding their 15 minutes of fame. No one has really done it better than Kaitlyn Bristowe. The fact that she and Shawn Booth stayed together for so long certainly helped. I do have to say though while I find her to definitely have a bright personality, I don’t understand the serious followers that she has. She has a scrunchie collection and it seems women set their alarm to buy these things. It’s a head scratcher for sure. And now she has wine? Baffling I tell you. Just baffling.

  6. tinyred500

    July 4, 2019 at 10:12 AM

    @adelina, I agree that Becca is probably the one being referred to by the emailer. I think coming out is easier said than done. A family member of mine came out in her mid twenties, and struggled all through her teenage years with her secret, despite knowing her family would love and embrace her no matter what.

    I laughed out loud over your Kaitlyn take, especially people setting their alarms for her scrunchies! Lol lol What a weird world we live in! I was bemused with her selling these, mostly because they went out of fashion overhere years ago, but obviously not in America etc. Agree she’s a bubbly character.

    Happy 4th of July to all the American commenters and readers from me over in the old colony. 😀

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