-At the cocktail party, Peter address everyone, tells them Hannah Brown is gone, he’s moved on, he’s focused on them, not to worry about anything anymore regarding Hannah Brown, but that he needs to step outside real quick to watch her perform the salsa on DWTS. Ok, maybe not. The first person we see him talk to is Lexi the redhead, someone who wasn’t on a date this week and Peter couldn’t remember if you gave him a $1 million. He asked her what she did on the first night, which was arrive in the red convertible. He says he remembered because he brought her a little mini toy convertible car, but we all know production handed that to him minutes before he sat her down and said, “She’s the one who came in the car. Here, give her this to make her think you have a clue as to who she is.” Then again, she’s the only person, like ever, to even have red hair in this show’s history, so she should’ve at least been memorable that way. Peter shares that he has like one strand of red hair on his chin so they bond over that, and that may be the flimsiest “connection” I’ve ever seen on this show. Lexi, enjoy your time as a background player all season.
-Kelsey tells us she’s got a bottle of champagne she’s had for over a year and she didn’t have time to give it to him on night 1, so she’s set it up outside on the fireplace with him for this night. Translation: Production waited for this storyline for another episode since they already had Hannah Ann the Interruptor on night one. But first, as Kelsey is set to talk to him, Mykenna pulls him aside, and that bothers Kelsey so she confronts Mykenna about it, and ummmmmm, I’m already sick of this storyline. We all know time at cocktail parties is dictated by production. We’re 39 seasons into this franchise. I can’t believe they are still peddling “she got more time with him than me” as a narrative on this show. It’s old, it’s tired, it’s played out, and if that’s the best they can do for drama on a particular episode, they need to hire new writers. This. Isn’t. A. Storyline. If you don’t know by now not to get upset over petty stuff like this, then you should’ve never signed up for the show.
-Anyway, after that comes the Hannah Ann ChampagneGate. She ends up opening up the champagne bottle that Kelsey brought with Peter and that sets Kelsey off like no other. Calls herself real and Hannah Ann calculated. Hannah Ann claims she had no idea that was Kelsey’s already prepared set up but Kelsey doesn’t believe her. Again, another storyline that I can’t believe they advertised on social media pre-show and made a giant deal of when it’s something we know was concocted behind the scenes by production. You realize how easy this could’ve been settled? Kelsey tells Hannah Ann she knew that was her bottle of champagne and Hannah Ann replies with, “Production told me to take Peter over here where they have a bottle of champagne set up for us.” That’s it. End of feud. But of course Hannah Ann can’t say that because that’d ruin this whole scene they’ve built up. But since Hannah Ann and Kelsey have been joking about it non stop on each others IG since before the show even started, clearly Hannah Ann told her that after the fact and Kelsey got over it. But for the sake of TV, she couldn’t say that while on camera.
-Madison gets alone time with Peter and he tells her how much fun he had on his date with her with his family and surprises her with a gift. It’s a framed picture of her with their family that they took that day and, yeah. I’d say that’s a pretty significant gift to give to someone after one date. A gift that was also circulating on IG before this episode even aired. Some account posted it. Was it Madi’s? ABC’s? Whatever the case, when he showed her that picture, it wasn’t the first time I’d seen that group family photo and now I’m forgetting where I saw it. My point being is it’s a pretty significant gift to give to a first date person, and there’s certainly a lot of things two episodes in, and all throughout social media, that point to Peter being with Madison. But there are some things I’ve heard that could point to it being Hannah Ann as well. Some pieces just don’t fit. For each of them. And that’s what I’m trying to figure out. No worries. I’ll get there eventually. Because lets face it, lets just say I find out who Peter is with. And I say, “Peter is with Madison/Hannah Ann” and just leave it at that. That won’t be good enough for 99% of you if I can’t fill in the blanks on how they got to that point and what all the clips in the teasers mean.
-Rose ceremony time. Kelley, Madison, and Sydney safe with roses. Peter: “Thank you for a great night…appreciate the conversations…open yourself up to me…excited to be moving forward…feel my wife is in this room…gives me happiness…that’s what I’m holding onto…and does anyone want to go to see Hannah Brown live on the DWTS tour? Asking for a friend.”
Mykenna, Victoria P., Natasha, Jasmine, Sarah, Lexi, Hannah Ann, Alexa, Tammy, Alayah, Deandra, Victoria F., Shiann, Kiarra, and Savannah all get roses.
“Ladies, Peter. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Building the suspense for Kelsey when the other 3 women who are possibilities have gotten exactly zero ITM’s between them is pretty laughable. I don’t even think their family knows they were on the show. Kelsey with the last rose.