The “Bachelorette” Tayshia – Episode 5 Recap, Toxic Bachelor Nation At It Again, & Caelynn Needs Your Help

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-Last night started with Tayshia introducing herself to the guys and all of their tongues come wagging out of their mouth – even some didn’t have a clue who she was. Did you notice that? I get that all these guys for four months thought Clare was going to be their Bachelorette, but I guess I was kinda surprised Jordan and Riley seemed to not know a thing about Tayshia. It’s not like they pulled an Arie with Tayshia and went back 5 seasons ago. She was on Colton’s season, she then followed up with that summer’s BIP, and she’s pretty well known in the franchise. You’d think casting would do a better job of maybe rounding up some guys who have the slightest clue about the franchise. Tayshia is a known name. And lets not forget, when they were casting this season (because they always cast the contestants before the lead), they were basically casting with three women in mind – Clare, Tayshia, and Tia. So it’s not like some of the guys in this cast weren’t cast with Tayshia in mind. AND the fact they showed some of the guys saying they didn’t know much about her was weird to me. Just leave those on the editing room floor. Not saying Tayshia automatically wouldn’t consider them, but c’mon, if you’re the lead and a guy tells you he doesn’t really know who you are, wouldn’t you take that a little differently than a guy who maybe says that he vibes better with you than Clare and you’re more his type? How can you not?

-The first guy she talked with was Ivan who admitted to Tayshia he felt like he was going home soon. Then again, I’m sure EVERY guy left felt he was going home soon since Clare and Dale stole the show from night one. Ivan seemed genuinely happy Tayshia was there and knowing how far he gets, seems she felt the same in return. Riley was up next and asked her what she did. Tayshia: “I travel quite a bit for work and pleasure…I’m in the beauty and lifestyle space.” Translation: I influence. No, that’s not hating. That’s pure fact. It’s what she does. Like so many others in the franchise. I just thought it was funny how she worded it. Because when someone is an influencer, you often don’t hear them have to explain what they do. Last night we did and, well, that’s what she came up with. I’ll step aside now for all the negative emails to come flowing in about how I somehow disrespected Tayshia with this last paragraph. Fun, fun. Can’t wait for another 6 weeks of this. Toxic Bachelor Nation! “Ugh, why does it seem like you hate your job so much?” Ummmm, because I can’t express any sort of sarcastic/snarky/tongue in cheek opinion anymore without fans jumping down your throat calling you a racist or a hater, maybe? Go look at the responses under that innocent snarky tweet and then you tell me if you think this is enjoyable at all times.

-Jordan seems like a cool cat. Just has a very suave demeanor about him. Which makes what he told Tayshia a bit, odd? I’m sure he meant nothing bad by it, but I can’t say I’ve ever told a woman before they have “big ass eyes.” I think he was probably looking for “big, beautiful eyes” or “your eyes are stunning,” or “eyes I could look at for days.” Anything but “you’ve got big ass eyes.” It’s ok Jordan, you’re forgiven. Maybe you were caught up in the moment and at a loss for words. You know what, I take that back. I can admit when I suck. In 5th or 6th grade I told a girl she had bug eyes. Even called her “ET eyes.” Yeah, it was shitty. And about 8 years ago, I ran back into her and we talked about it. She absolutely remembered what I said. Wasn’t still affected by it, but basically ribbed me for it. I owned it and I apologized. Not that age excuses it, but yeah, when you’re 10 years old, you have zero idea how teasing kids may affect them. So Jordan as I said, you’re forgiven, because 1) you weren’t doing it in a teasing manner and 2) well, what I said in 5th grade was worse.

Also, Blake talked to Tayshia to tell her to bear with him, he’s still adjusting to having a new lead in there, as he stalked Clare when she was the lead busting in on group dates because producers told him to. Ok, he didn’t tell her that. But he should’ve. Hey, at least he didn’t tell Tayshia he bought a book on phlebotomy to try and guilt her into making out with him. Maybe he’s actually learned a lesson. I hope people really see how poorly his “I bought a book on Alzheimer’s” comment reflected on him.

-If you thought maybe Jordan was a cool cat, Brendan is like Rico Suave. He stole the cocktail party with his jacket and turtleneck. The good thing was even HE made fun of himself as he said guys were calling him Steve Jobs. Eh, I’d say you looked more like someone who worked as a Russian spy in any 80’s movie ever. He was only a gold chain and a fanny pack from stealing this look of The Rock from the late 90’s:

It was at this point Chris Harrison barged into Tayshia and Brendan’s conversation to steal her away for some life changing event. You know, “everything’s about to change.” The hyperbole on this show is maddening I tell ya’. Chris told her that she had more men coming in to meet her and they were arriving right now. I’m really glad they whisked through this. The first three guys out of the limo – Spencer, Montel, and Peter – all did nothing other than introduce themselves and say they’d see her inside. Noah had a little schtick but he’s a traveling nurse, so the stethoscope made sense. Corny, but at least fit who he is. I really didn’t need to see four more gimmicks relating to COVID, or bubbles, or isolating or whatever. Good. In the words of Clare, “can we speed this up?”

-One of the new guys, Spencer, gets Tayshia’s first impression rose. I will say this the rest of the season: Tayshia is getting hosed because everything is rushed. On a normal night 1, we see many more interactions with the lead and the guys, and for a longer period of time. We didn’t get that last night. And honestly, all we saw her say about Spencer was that he was hot. Did more conversation happen? I’m sure. But we didn’t see it, so we have nothing to base this connection on. Hell, I don’t even know what Spencer does or anything about him. Do you? Expect a whole season of this. We have to go from 19 guys down to 1 in six episodes. So while it was great they gave Tayshia the Bachelorette gig, this is NOT one where I think we can get truly invested in her and the guys due to the lack of time for the show to cover it, COVID, one location, and condensed shooting schedule.