Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Last Night’s IG Live, & Chris Harrison Set to Speak

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

I have been a reader for over 10 years, but I haven’t emailed before. I first want to say that it’s been really great to see your own personal growth over the past 10 years and how your coverage of the show has changed to include an openness about your own education, learning and un-learning, and anti-racism work, as well as pointing out racist issues within the franchise! I personally have stopped watching and don’t know if I will continue. It just feels wrong to support and spend my time on it when they seem to have so little regard for making any of the desperately needed changes. I will still look for ways to support you and other Bachelor Nation voices that I think uplift the franchise, while doing my small part to unfollow and remove support from voices who are remaining silent.

My other thought that’s just been going around and around my head is I guess a question for you. It may be rhetorical and there could be no “right” answer. What does accountability in the case Taylor Nolan’s racist tweets look like? One thing that is awful about it is many who have been wanting to defend the franchise are using her tweets somehow to justify the racist actions of Chris, Rachael K, Garrett, Hannah B, and whoever else as if BOTH things can’t be wrong and racist. As if one somehow cancels out the other. Now asking people to be logical on the internet is a losing battle, but Taylor’s tweets do not somehow mean she has to “apologize to Chris Harrison because everyone makes mistakes and everyone says things they shouldn’t” which are comments I’ve seen repeatedly. If anything, it’s directly disproving the also often used comment “stop making everything about race.” It shows that probably almost everyone HAS held racial bias and said racially insensitive/racist things at some point in their lives, which is proving many people’s point that racism is deeply entrenched in our society and anti-racist work is required in order to improve! It doesn’t excuse Taylor or anyone else, to me this is much more evident that obviously our society does have a race problem that cannot be ignored. Back to accountability.. Chris Harrison “taking a step back” makes sense because he is the public face of the franchise and went out to speak for the franchise and perpetuated racism and was overwhelming condescending and dismissive to Rachel Lindsay. That is accountability that makes sense to me. It boils down to, “he did really badly at his job, so he loses it.” (For now). For Taylor, I just don’t know what to think about the accountability. She apologized but should her voice about race issues forever be discounted? Should she lose her platform? Should she lose her job? Has the work she has done in the past few years shown that she DID do the work since the tweets? But just as she has said, it doesn’t matter when it was or how old you are, it’s still racist! It will be telling to see what the consequences are compared to Rachael K and Hannah B for instance, whose “consequences” were essentially that they had to apologize and commit to learning more about anti-racism, which is what everyone should be doing anyway and their follower count continues to grow. I’m not bashing them, it will just be interesting to see what happens and the double standard that may exist for Taylor. Thoughts?

Whew, that was long! Thanks for all you do!

Comment: I don’t think there’s a universal answer to holding her accountable. Some people are so offended, they don’t even care to hold her accountable. They’re done with her. Which, I guess technically, is holding her accountable. If you feel the need to unfollow her, never buy anything she sells, not listen to her podcast anymore, etc., then that’s your way of holding her accountable. Which is perfectly fine. A lot of people are going to do that. In fact, probably a majority. Whether she keeps her license isn’t up to us. If she loses it, she can’t say it was unfair. She’s aware that’s on the table. But if she does lose it, I just don’t see the need to cheer or applaud it. Or rub it in her face, which a lot of people are doing. That’s matching hate with hate. If you hated what she did, do all the things I mentioned above, and be done with it. That’s all people need to do.

So bored watching the Women Tell All and I’m looking through some of the top girls and who they follow on Instagram and it looks like Michelle and Bri don’t follow anyone (or any of the front runners) from the season – even Abigail who seemed pretty noncontroversial.

Any thoughts on why or have you heard anything that none of these girls liked each other/wanted to distance from the show?

I know you say a lot of the Instagram activity is fake but usually contestants are at least following each other!

What a messy season.

Comment: Yeah this season has been odd because of that, because so many have stayed away from commenting or following other women this season. Although after WTA I did see a lot more yesterday.

Hi Steve

This is the stupidest tell all episode I’ve ever seen. Only lagit person on here is Anna…. And Brittany. Katie with her tears. I LOVE her but that bachelorette audition was pretty transparent. These girls have learned nothing. What am I even watching?!?!

And Taylor…. I can’t even. My head is spinning with this franchise. Looking forward to your live with Ashley, I don’t think an hour will be enough time to dissect all the madness!

Comment: And it wasn’t! We had to go 90 minutes over 2 videos, which are on page 1. IG is so wonky sometimes. We’ve been doing these lives about 9 months now. For the start, IG gave me a 2 minute countdown at the hour mark. Then it seemed like 5-6 months is a row, there was never a time limit. Now for the last few weeks, it’s limited us to 60 minutes again before the 2:00 warning clock comes on and we have to decide to keep going or stop. Dammit Instagram, you’re drunk. Make up your mind.

Hi Steve,

This season on the Women Tell All we got short clips from dates that never aired. Has there been a season prior to Matt’s where entire dates were eliminated from airing?

Comment: I can’t remember one time that’s ever happened.

Hi Steve,

Not Bachelor related, but I started watching Cobra Kai last week and I’m already on season 2, and it’s every bit as good as you’ve said It is. Right now I really like Robby and how Daniel is helping him. I still can’t really get past what Johnny is doing here. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I definitely feel like he’s just turning them into who he was. My question is, who is your favorite character in the show? And are you “team Johnny” or “team Daniel”?

Thank you!!

Comment: Really? Most people that watch Cobra Kail (SPOILER ALERT) think that Daniel has assumed the role of the villain and Johnny has become the sympathetic figure. There’s still some stuff to play out, but, the Johnny character is the best thing about that show. He’s written really well on the show.

Good morning,

Faithful follower and reader here for many years but have never reached out over email before. I follow your Instagram lives with Ashley and like many others have been listening to your conversations about racism within the franchise. My input and opinion doesn’t hold much weight as a white woman, but I do love how you are facing this, talking about it, working through it and challenging the whiteness in this franchise.

I was very curious to see how you would talk about and address the Taylor Nolan tweets knowing that you two are friends. I have to say I was really impressed with what you wrote today. Maybe it was hard to find the right words given your friendship (or maybe it wasn’t) but it was one of the best things I’ve seen you write. Once again my opinion does not hold much weight since I was not a demographic her tweets were directed towards, but I 100% agree they need to be deleted and taken down immediately. I link it to the confederate flag conversation. There are many people that say that flag holds their truth, their past, their heritage. It doesn’t matter what truth it holds, it’s offensive and racist and stands for something we should no longer see. The tweets are so disgusting and hurt so many. They need to go. Yes, the screenshots will always live on but the originals need to go.

Not much more to say other than I just wanted to reach out and send a compliment on your post today….

So well done…

Comment: Thanks. I appreciate it. Yes, because she’s a friend, absolutely it’s tougher to talk about. But what she did was not acceptable, it was hateful, and embarrassing – among other things. So all I did was point out what I disagreed with – her apology and not deleting the tweets – and what to expect going forward. No need to just pile on and call her names like others are doing. I don’t see what that accomplishes. It’s not a hot take to say that her tweets were racist, ignorant, and every other adjective you could think of. It’s “where do we go from here” and there’s no universal answer. Everyone will deal with her differently. If you eliminate her from your life, go ahead. You have every reason to. She wasn’t someone you spoke to personally often, so yeah, it’s very easy to just be like “I’m done.” And you won’t listen to her podcast, or donate to her, or do anything that supports her, which you have every right to. Me? It’s a little tougher, but I’m guessing I’ll speak to her less and won’t bend her ear on things as much anymore. And she won’t be a podcast guest anytime in the near future.

Hey Steve,

The Taylor stuff was some of the most awful stuff that I’ve seen and I didn’t even read a lot of it. But how do we reconcile that with the fact that this was crowdsourced from a space where people’s main goal was to shut Taylor up from talking about the franchise like they did Rachel L? It’s a weird place because a) Taylor said disgusting things that she should be held accountable for but b) this was clearly brought to light to try to discredit her work.

Comment: A) absolutely B) I guess I don’t think it matters where it came from. It was still her work that was public knowledge. Someone just decided Sunday morning to do a Twitter Advanced Search and there it all was. At any point in the last 8-10 years, anybody could’ve found those. So yeah, someone who clearly wasn’t a fan of Taylor is probably the one behind it. But it shouldn’t matter. And that was one part of her apology I didn’t like at all. It’s like she was mad at that person for bringing it public, even though it already was, just kinda hidden.

But yes, there is a faction out there, who’ve now created a couple IG accounts, that are strictly out to attack people who have spoken out against the franchise. Brought Ashley to tears on the live last night. There are some toxic f***ing people out there. But anyone with 300 disgusting tweets out there can’t complain. If these people start reaching and are just posting shit just to post, that’s where they’ll be a bigger issue.

Hi Steve

I had the same reaction to last night’s WTA episode. I totally blanked out and thought last night was the overnight dates and boy was I disappointed when I saw that it was WTA. Basically a recap of what we hated watching all season! Typically you can tell who TPTB are grooming for the Bach-ette role on the WTA. It seems to be the woman who gets a makeover, and last night I thought that they jazzed up Serena P’s appearance. She’s a very pretty “girl” but on the show she looked more like the girl next door, whereas last night she had a bit more makeup on and looked more “glamorous.” They did the same with Kaitlyn and some others. I thought Serena P looked absolutely gorgeous last night. And besides her looks, she might be the most normal, well-adjusted woman that’s appeared on any of the shows. You yourself patted her on the back when, on her 1st one-on-one date with Matt, she said in her ITM that she really “liked” Matt and not gushing that she was already falling in love with him. And her exit was very classy too, very much akin to Sharleen’s exit. They did the mature thing and left because they weren’t feeling 100% into the lead. That is SO damn refreshing! I know you’re going to argue that she’s only 22, but she’s way more mature than many of the woman on this season. I think she’d make a super Bach-ette. I like both Michelle and Bri, but don’t think either have enough pizazz in their personality to pull it off. Serena P is fun and perky. Just my two cents!

PS: I’m so wishing this season over….doesn’t seem much pin to watching any more. Last two episodes I skimmed and deleted my DVR recording immediately and didn’t watch till the end.

Comment: We gotta be getting the “Bachelorette” announcement soon since it starts filming at the end of the month. But no one knows who the front runner is right now.

Hi Steve,

I am sure you’re being inundated with emails regarding Taylor Nolan so I apologize in advance for adding to the pile on!

We have all been young and dumb in some capacity. I certainly would not want to be held to account for some of my words or actions from when I was 18 years old.

But what I can’t get past is the fact she never deleted those tweets. She has been in the public eye for several years now and has witnessed other Bachelor contestants as well as reality TV figures from other franchises suffer repercussions for similar past social media content. It seems dumb at worst, naive at best to leave those up. But more troubling to me is the fact that she has used her Bachelor platform as a voice for the marginalized but yet those tweets remained findable. If she has truly “done the work” and is all in on everything she teaches why in the world would she leave those up? Those tweets are so deeply hurtful and damaging to the very communities she advocates for. Forget the trolls who want to have their gotcha moment and dig up the tweets to damage Taylor. Out there are likely young girls in their early teens who are insecure about their weight/orientation/ethnicity and who are fans of all things Bachelor nation and looked up to Taylor and would be potentially hurt by the tweets. As it is not outside the realm of possibility that some young fan who idolizes Taylor would have delved deep into her Twitter archives. I certainly online stalked my idols at that age! So it leaves me feeling like Taylor’s advocacy was performative, a way to get attention, build a brand and not heartfelt and genuine. I really want to be wrong, I don’t want to cancel Taylor. I don’t want to dismantle the work she has done. But she has been a part of the Bachelor franchise for several years at this point, it is really difficult for me to reconcile her having left those tweets up for as long as she has.

Is there any possibility of you having her back on you podcast to explain herself further?

Comment: No. Not anytime soon. There’s no need. She’ll release her own podcast or talk about it at some point I think. But your sentiment is echoed by many. She has her answer, I don’t agree with it at all, and there’s not much else to say. Those tweets should be deleted.

Hi Steve,

Writing back in to share that I very much enjoy your coverage of the show, and you have been able to change my mind on some things. I also enjoy the podcasts that I don’t necessarily agree with.

I’m probably preaching to the choir here (and I can imagine you’ve gotten a lot of similar emails), but I wanted to share some thoughts on the Taylor fiasco. I don’t know Taylor and I’m disappointed/shocked, I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel being friends with her. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this as well. I appreciate you not holding a double standard.

I’m not BIPOC, but I have personally experienced some of the other -isms she had displayed in her tweets. I agree she has done a lot of positive work since then, but my understanding is that it has really centered around the BIPOC community and being sex positive. I could be wrong, but I haven’t seen her address many of the other forms of hatred that have come out in her tweets (anti-Semetic, anti-immigrant, etc). I’d actually love to be proved wrong. It makes sense given that BIPOC impacts her personally, while the others don’t.

So, when her initial apology/reaction was explicitly made to the BIPOC community, it was extra hurtful. I was also incredibly troubled knowing she’s a mental health professional, yet tweeted inappropriate things about her clients and urged suicide for mental illness while being in school for that profession.

I obviously can’t speak to how the BIPOC community is feeling about all of this, but I can speak for myself as being impacted. For me personally, I’d want to see her do work for the other communities she impacted, and honestly, that’s almost everyone. I don’t have any sense that she feels differently now than she did at the time of the tweets for non-BIPOC/sex positive issues. Her reaction on Sunday only reiterated that point more. I think her point about the tweets being old given what she’s done recently would have held some water, if it were not for how she reacted to getting caught.

Maybe as a takeaway we can all stop expecting/demanding immediate statements when someone screws up. Give everyone some time to breathe, process, reflect, and get their words figured out. Because after Sunday’s reaction, what she’s putting out now just feels hollow/disingenuous. I feel like she followed almost every point she has made about what not to do when caught being racist.

Thanks for doing what you do. Hopefully the outside the show drama dies down soon.

Comment: Again, can’t disagree with pretty much anything you said.

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  1. progressive4ever

    March 3, 2021 at 9:13 AM

    Regarding the comment where your response was simply Bye: I stopped reading at the words “woke” and “cancel culture,” terms adopted by the right wing when people are held accountable for their words or actions. These people don’t get it and never will because they Just. Don’t. Care. Thank you for using your platform to bring awareness.

  2. mgb970

    March 3, 2021 at 10:16 AM

    @ progressive4everMarch

    > the words “woke” and “cancel culture,” terms adopted by the right wing

    Thats a ridiculous take. People or groups don’t own words. If you’re going to attack something, attack that email rather than slandering half the country.

    You may also wish to extract yourself from that echo chamber you’re trapped in.

  3. angelfish

    March 3, 2021 at 10:45 AM

    It is beyond ridiculous to try & keep up with all these new “buzz phrases”. Like Progressive4ever, as soon as I see the words “woke” “cancel culture”, “receipts”, and now “do the work”, I move on. Do these people not realize how stupid all these nonsense phrases are sounding? Yes, the rise of social media has spawned the need to basically type in code to save space, but using 6 words when 2 will do is just idiotic. And so little of it makes any sense.
    Tl;dr for most of these letters. Steve has unbelievable patience.

  4. deedadoo

    March 3, 2021 at 1:48 PM

    I liked how you responded to the majority of this concerning Taylor, def a step in the right direction. I appreciate it. The part that’s muddy for me is your comments I keep seeing about “hate for hate.” (On the live and on here) Talking about wanting justice and her to lose her license isn’t hate or relishing in someone’s downfall. That couldn’t be further from the truth. To me, what’s always bothered me about her is I felt like her comments were taking us steps back in terms of racial issues because of the divisive nature and hate on stances she held. Add the fact that she’s a therapist and coaching vulnerable people who seek help, it’s alarming. Someone could have been on the verge of contemplating suicide and ran across her tweets and that might have been the final push. I got my degree in mental health and it’s at the heart of what I do. I have felt super strongly about this and then this came out. I think it’s important to call it what it is. By you saying “hate for hate” I think that’s super inaccurate and you’re totally missing the point and almost downplaying it. I’m not rejoicing in what happened but I am relieved because of the concerns I have had for a long time. Have you ever asked yourself why people have the feelings they do against her? It’s not some conspiracy against Taylor. This isn’t because of “white supremacy” and “silencing the black woman.” There’s a reason, dig deeper.

  5. kr211

    March 3, 2021 at 2:02 PM

    I whole heartedly agreed with this email and think it was thoughtfully and eloquently written. The fact that you stopped reading it over a few buzz words and all Reality Steve could respond with was “bye” tells me you arent ready to face your own hypocrisy.

    Reality Steve – the fact that you would even attempt to defend your friend Taylor, but havent considered perhaps Chris was attempting to do the same with Rachel, confirms that you *really* need to reread the story about Jesus. And maybe take a lesson or 2 before your own past mistakes are brought to light. Because we can find them.

  6. kr211

    March 3, 2021 at 2:04 PM

    exactly! if a large amount of people are ding dong the witch is dead’ing over your grave, there’s usually a valid reason.

  7. GoingBlonde

    March 3, 2021 at 2:09 PM

    The ones who scream the loudest calling everyone racist to the point it loses meaning are usually the ones with the most skeletons in their closet. I for one, am kinda glad this all came out about Taylor. Shuts her up for a while and maybe hopefully for good. No need to hear her nastiness any longer.

  8. deedadoo

    March 3, 2021 at 2:10 PM

    Right! And as much as taylor wants to believe “this is what happens when you challenge white supremacy”- yeah, that’s a no for me, dawg. Nice try, though!

  9. kr211

    March 3, 2021 at 2:10 PM

    Hasnt Chris publicly apologized to Rachel twice now? That’s not good enough for you but Taylor’s defensive, deflective, excuse-ridden “apologies” were and we all just need to leave her alone now?

  10. GoingBlonde

    March 3, 2021 at 2:18 PM

    The fact that Steve could only conjure up Bye as a response to a well thought out email with very valid points shows he has no leg to stand on and is too lazy to do his own work in coming up with anything thoughtful to say. Pathetic.

  11. jaytee404

    March 3, 2021 at 6:10 PM

    Thank you for this Steve. To that long ass email you responded bye to. I’m so happy you did that because that means you saw right through her as I did as did progressive4ever.
    Though eloquently written, I can’t believe the ignorance in current events and all the defensiveness towards white supremacy. She basically defended Rachael k and Chris while blaming POC for going on the show, like wtf? Did I just read that? Rachael k was 21 years old in 2018, I made better decisions than her when I was 12. Anyone with sense or education knows how wrong that was. At 18 you’re a full grown person to comprehend how distasteful what she did was. Her racist actions do not mean she’s racist but she knew exactly what she was doing,she just didn’t care because guess what? She was in her circle with all her white Friends etc,, so she thought it was ok.As far as Chris goes, he poured gasoline on himself, lit the match and burned. No excuses at all for him at his age.
    The problem alot of white people are not understanding is wrong by using the term “woke police” ” cancel culture” is you’re basically saying why is everyone aware of these distasteful events happening, it was better when no one knew and poc were silenced and white supremacy was well and alive. That’s why it was a problem CH said it in the interview and when everyone else uses it to call people that are calling for CH and Rachael to do the work. Yes they apologized, that’s step # 1. Now we need to be shown step by step how they’ll do better. We are not canceling them or not forging them, we are holding them accountable and telling them to do better.

    As for Taylor, yes that is beyond messed up and sickening. She has been doing the work to be better and that’s why she is a therapist today and is passionate about anti racism and any form of bullying because she used to be that person. She was wrong for blaming white supremacy for what she was tweeting but was right in blaming white supremacy for why she hated herself and was bitter about who she was. My family is biracial and I know exactly what I’m talking about here. You can ask me anything and I’ll give you clear as day examples of what we go through.
    Taylor should have used her tweets to show us where she started and where she’s at now, but she never did and that’s where she lost credibility. Cats out the bag and now and it’s a disaster. A better apology and accountability is needed from her too as the 1st step and she needs to keep showing us how she can do better. All 3 were wrong and knew what they did. I see no 4 year Olds here. Even 6,7,8 year Olds know when they are doing something wrong. I was a nanny to a 6 year old who was gigling with her friend and whispering about the N word. When I called them to ask them why they said that, they explained and apologized because they knew how hurtful that word was.6 year Olds and they knew better, so why should we expect a 21 year old not to be aware of her actions?
    Majority of my friend’s and family are white too and guess what? At parties they use all the words Taylor has used and everyone is mad about and even the n word just because they know they are in their circles and I’m sure everyone here does and same goes for my black family members and friends. Heck I’ve used the R word myself but definitely not in Taylor’s context and anger.
    No one is a Saint here, the only difference is we are not in the spotlight and we don’t put our frustrations on Twitter like Taylor did.

  12. shenanigans

    March 4, 2021 at 6:34 AM

    I totally agree with GoingBlonde. The email message that Steve blew off with a simple “bye” was honest, well-reasoned, and totally on point. We are all at different places on this journey and should not be “cancelled” because we aren’t where other people think we SHOULD be. The lack of compassion and understanding that he showed that person was galling.

  13. justanopinion

    March 4, 2021 at 8:16 AM

    I think some people here need to really re-evaluate the depth of how disgusting Taylor’s comments were. The tone towards her in some of these comments versus Chris and Rachael is obvious. People say Rachael should know better because she was 18, and a few sentences later say that Taylor is a therapist today because of the hateful stuff she was saying?? What?? She was ALSO 18 and older when she made those comments. In fact she was already on her track to becoming a therapist when she made a good chunk of those comments. In fact she already HAD CLIENTS and made fun of them in her public tweets. She doesn’t get a pass, or an excuse to be treated more softly, just because she’s a person of color. I am also a person of color who struggled with self hatred at one point in my life and the evil vicious things she took the time to type out for the world to see are a problem. The more important issue here is that Taylor Nolan is a licensed therapist who has publicly broken the trust of her license. What she did is a thousand times more vile than anything Chris or Rachael did. Saying she’s ‘put in the work’ is such a bs excuse. If her intentions were true then she would have talked about these tweets long ago, rather than barking a defensive self-centered ‘apology’ and blaming white people for the hate in her heart. I am so tired of this narrative that the white people should be given higher criticism purely because of their race. Her ‘apology’ showed who she was. She is self-centered, self-serving, and self-righteous.

    At this point I don’t see how people don’t see how truly messed up this is. Please take race out of it and put things into perspective. Rachael made some bad choices and wore some offensive outfits. Chris Harrison talked over a woman and said the words woke police while asking for the world to wait to hear a response from Rachael. Taylor tweeted over 300 times about rape victims, people of colors, overweight people, people with mental and physical disorders. Ask yourself who REALLY deserves to be ‘cancelled’?

    Imagine leaving your therapists office and she TWEETS about you. It’s disgusting.

  14. tinyred500

    March 4, 2021 at 10:27 AM

    I so agree with your excellent comment.

    When dealing with any minority or diversity group and those within them. We shouldn’t be giving ‘anyone’ a free pass for poor or appalling behaviour. That’s why ‘all’ groups of people must be included in the discussion. It’s the only way to bring better understanding and over time…..changes.

  15. ju1ia

    March 4, 2021 at 11:16 AM

    Ok woke Steve, can you seriously stop pushing mark wahlberg as the new host? Are you not aware of the multiple hate crimes he’s been convicted of?? He threw rocks at black children chasing them and yelling “kill the n…..s ” TWICE. Years later he attacked two old Vietnamese men, physically beating them with a plank and calling them racial slurs. This is far worse than anything any bachelor contestant or host has done. Stay woke.

  16. nope

    March 4, 2021 at 11:42 AM

    Ok I just realized this is a different mark walberg (no H). I don’t watch temptation island, I take it back, I’m sorry!

  17. kayakguy

    March 4, 2021 at 2:29 PM

    Well said.

    Now need to find a way to binge watch bachelor Canada this weekend

  18. janiel

    March 4, 2021 at 4:31 PM

    Maybe someday you’ll grow up enough to realize that not everybody CARES what stories were written a couple thousand years ago about somebody who very likely never even existed, let alone was a deity.

    Keep your mythology for yourself. If it comforts you, that’s great. But there’s no reason to inflict it on the rest of us.

  19. janiel

    March 4, 2021 at 4:38 PM

    Of course groups don’t own words, but you can tell a lot about what somebody thinks based on who else tends to use the same language and in what contexts. For example, there is nothing *inherently* racist in the phrase “fourteen words,” but anybody who’s been paying attention knows that that phrase is code for a very *specific* set of fourteen words (“We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children,”) that is a recognized slogan of the neo-Nazi movement. If somebody throws around the phrase “fourteen words” without a damn clear different context that makes it certain they’re simply ignorant of its coded meaning and not intending it that way, I will think they’re a Nazi and I’ll have excellent reason to.

    Groups don’t own words, but they do adopt them as their own and make it clear that the words mean that somebody is one of that group. If you can hear the phrase “make America great again” and not think the speaker is a Donald Trump fan, you’re simply naive.

  20. tiggertamer

    March 4, 2021 at 8:34 PM

    @janiel The person who wrote the e-mail I think you’re referring to stated that she’s a grandmother, so I doubt she’ll “grow up” much more than she already has, though we will all, hopefully, continue to grow.

    For the most part, I’m not a believer in religion or any deity so, when someone quotes religious scripture, I’m usually skeptical.

    However, proverbs, regardless of where they originate, usually contain words of wisdom “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Compare with, “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” Both statements contain wisdom regarding similar situations. Words of wisdom, and the people who quote them, shouldn’t be dismissed just because the words originate from religious scripture.

    I don’t necessarily have the same overall viewpoint at the person who wrote the e-mail, but her message was well-written, respectful, and contained words of wisdom.

    I also appreciated your own words of wisdom in your subsequent post, regarding “fourteen words”. I learned something valuable from you in that post, and I thank you for that.

  21. shellylite

    March 4, 2021 at 11:39 PM

    There is so much wrong with the Bachelor but for that matter most reality shows. Most of them objectify women and I’m not sure I’d call it misogyny but there is rampant sexism in the Bachelor franchise. I think there has been a lot of diversity lately. If you start adding all the people you suggested then you have a different TV show entirely which is fine, but it’s a different product. Call it “Diversity Dating” but it would not be the Bachelor franchise anymore. What I have noticed about this show that bothers me so much lately is the canned phrases that everyone repeats. Calling the show a “journey” “my Journey” “I see you” “hard conversations” “for the right reasons” “authentic and vulnerable” and all the phrases that pop up over and over again, it’s like they are given a script but told to just use the words whenever they can fit them in. It’s so formulatic. The whole concept of everyone being there reciting their canned phrases and hoping a life-long marriage comes out of that is crazy. It’s so fake. I don’t think the audience even expects a proposal at the end anymore.
    Why should marriage even be the goal of the show when so many people don’t get married anymore?

    The Bachelor show(s) is just supposed to be mindless fluffy entertainment but it grew too big and now it’s a political statement. Worst of anything besides the anorexic women is how the male lead always calls them “girls” (Chris Harrison didn’t do that) and how they are nearly always in their 20s. What is wrong with women in their 30s and even 40s? Or 50s? Why does the show have to be so young, when young people probably aren’t even watching it?

    Why do they never eat a bite of food on their “dinner” dates? It’s all so fake and weird.

    I never saw a male lead fake-smile so much as Matt this season. He never looked like he was enjoying any of it.

    Maybe they should just trash the Bachelor/Bachelorette and just do the BIP shows. They are the most fun anyway.

  22. shellylite

    March 4, 2021 at 11:56 PM

    I agree, @justanopinion, Taylor Nolan has some real serious issues and shouldn’t be within a mile of a counseling or therapy job. She is way too off the grid to help anyone else reach any kind of feeling of “normal”. What she wrote on social media was so much worse than wearing bad outfits. I won’t defend RK because she doesn’t want us to defend her, but I don’t think any of her motives were actually racist, and I don’t think CH’s motives were either, but CH is definitely guilty of massive rudeness. He was trying to walk a fine line and defend his show’s “winner”, which is probably what they sent him out to do, and he did what so many other men on TV and radio do- he was rude to a woman, and he diminished her, and he talked over him. All men who do that should be publicly shamed? I don’t know, that would be pretty much all of them.

  23. idontcare

    March 7, 2021 at 3:26 AM

    Agreed. 100 percent. Why did Taylor get off so lightly. Why wasn’t she dragged to the dirt by Rachel Lindsey like Rachael K and Chris H? Do I smell prejudice here? How’s she make out so well when her “mistakes” lasted for years and the most vicious I’ve ever seen? Hmmm

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