Reality Steve

The Bachelor 25 - Matt

The “Bachelor” Matt – Overnight Date Recap, ATFR Taping, and What’s the Latest “Bachelorette” Update?

Photo Credit: ABC

Before we get started, a few charts to look at from our friend over at @BachelorData on IG. Seems like it’s a good thing to have your overnight date shown last, as 5 of the last 10 women who’ve had the third overnight date have gone on to win before last night. Make that 6 out of the last 11 now:

Also, here is your 1 week IG growth from the WTA episode last week heading into tonight. 5 women total over 200k followers with Rachael still kinda running away with the lead here:

-Before any of the dates started last night, we got a very uncomfortable conversation shown last night between Matt and his dad. Leading into this, I had spoiled a while ago that this convo happened, but I didn’t know if it was something that was sprung on Matt or it was planned and he knew about it. Judging by last night, he definitely knew about it. Although, my guess is it was still forced on him. And when I say forced I mean, do we honestly think he wanted to have this conversation on TV for all of America to see? Me neither. But somehow they convinced him they should, or more than likely, it’d look great for the show and help their relationship. Total bomb. Matt even took to Twitter last night to share his thoughts on it:

-This was just too personal of a conversation to be having on national television, not to mention how much it played into stereotypes. So again, what was their goal here? Do you really think production really cared if Matt and his dad bonded? Please. This was a TV opportunity if I ever saw one. Black father abandoned his son early, wasn’t there for him, thus subsequently scarring Matt for all future relationships. Did people not see something majorly wrong with that? I have no problem with that conversation happening. But it did NOT need to be shown to us. It was exploitative at the very least. I think Rachel Lindsay did an excellent job explaining why showing that conversation was so problematic on many levels. I agree with all of this. If you’re like, “What’s the big deal? It was a touching moment to see him with his dad,” please take the time to listen to the podcast she did after the show last night with Juliet Litman and maybe it’ll give you a better understanding. You can listen to it here.

The show was not out to protect Matt in this situation, and yet again, they drop another huge ball when it comes to race on this show. Matt and Meghan Markle sure have a lot in common right now. What? Their biggest mistake was believing those around them were looking out for their best interests and to protect them. One thing Rachel said in that podcast that really stuck out to me was, “Trust me when I say this: Matt was not happy about this.” I mean, it’s clear Rachel spoke to Matt and that’s what led her to say that, I don’t think that’s a secret. So look, if Matt himself is admitting he wasn’t happy about that conversation happening on TV, then yes, the show absolutely failed him and didn’t have his best interests at heart. Period. This show has failed so many times this season on race related issues, I’m beginning to lose track. And still, nothing but crickets coming from anyone in a higher up position.

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  1. stacylee

    March 9, 2021 at 8:37 AM

    Long time viewer and RS follower. Enjoy watching franchise as a light, silly, non-reality reality show. While, of course, as a viewer, I hope for the rare occasion when true love is found, I accept that many participants go on the show to develop a “brand” and to increase their following.

    Here’s my issue: I totally believe racism exists everywhere in our society. But, is it shocking to know that POC are treated poorly in this franchise? Absolutely not! A lot of people are treated poorly …manipulated and used for network ratings/money. Isn’t this common knowledge?

    I would like to see the discussion of racism extend beyond this silly franchise. It’s really hard for the general public to take seriously all the participants who have benefited greatly (including you) to trash it for doing what they’ve always done – use people.

    I’m hoping for the conversation to move beyond Rachael and Rachel, Chris and the franchise to how similar words and actions affect and possibly contribute to REAL issues of racism in society. Issues such as poverty, healthcare, education, voter suppression, and representation throughout society.

    As disappointed as I have been with Matt, I do believe he is concerned about the impact of racism on children. His work in NYC reflects that. Hopefully, the conversation can shift….soon.

  2. mgb970

    March 9, 2021 at 8:39 AM

    > But I never thought for a second that tweet
    > was offensive in any way or taking some shot
    > […] But maybe I’m in the wrong here. I’d
    > like to know if I was

    1. Not offensive.

    2. But maybe this is an opportunity for some self-reflection regarding how quickly you (and Ashley) can judge people. Doesn’t feel so good does it?

  3. mgb970

    March 9, 2021 at 8:43 AM


    > I would like to see the discussion of racism
    > extend beyond this silly franchise.

    Totally agree.

    That’s a hard discussion. How can we do that in this country when the moment someone says something even perceived is wrong, they are automatically labeled and slandered.

    People are afraid to have that conversation right now because there’s no upside. Status quo and one can only screw themselves are the only 2 outcomes. Especially considering these days that is someone has a misstep, people try to dox that person and get them fired from their jobs; it affects their ability to do anything in life.

  4. jlal

    March 9, 2021 at 10:58 AM

    A few things:
    1. I too felt the convo with his Dad should not have been on TV. I actually cringed and just felt so sorry for both of them.
    2. I don’t think RS’s teacher post was bad, but I thought the exact same thing so…
    3. Just because Matt didn’t propose, I don’t assume he has a commitment phobia. I wish more would agree to just date and get to know one another, versus break-up a hot second after the After the Final Rose show.
    4. This franchise and this site are not the places to have more meaningful conversations on racism. There are plenty of sites, blogs, shows, etc. where you can get deep about the issue, but a dating reality show and it’s spoiler blog are not the places.
    5. Not sure how I feel about Katie. At first I really liked her, but after watching everything I wonder if she was some of the cause of the toxic environment in the house. Guess we will see next show.

  5. rob22

    March 9, 2021 at 10:58 AM

    I know that it’s hard to take this franchise seriously. I mean OF COURSE they will take advantage of racial stereotypes to build drama and ratings. They’ll do literally anything if it ticks up their ratings. The question really, is should blatantly using racial stereotypes be out of bounds completely. I think we did make a decision back many years ago that black face in minstrel shows was out of bounds. I think we did make a decision that putting black actors mainly in the roles of pimps and drug dealers was bad. But I think there was pushback every time a decision was made to improve the picture being painted of people of color. And so here we are again. The show that was built on drama with pretty white people, with POC mainly playing minor roles is getting called out. Yes, they’ve had two black leads (three counting Rachael). But it’s still the same people producing, so this is what you get. I think the criticism is fair. I don’t put any of it on Matt. Sure, he wasn’t ready to commit, but that’s pretty standard for Bachelors. He just decided not to fake it for a few months. But the show needs to grow up. I’m not sure they can do that. They were built this way from the beginning.

  6. iampunka

    March 9, 2021 at 11:35 AM

    I think it is time to just take the shotgun to this blog, and kill it. It’s best days are far behind it. It is on its last legs and the way it is headed, it needs a mercy killing. Temptation Island just aint gonna happen. Doesn’t have the same cultural zeitgeist. And this franchise is going down, with RS help.

  7. kathyr

    March 9, 2021 at 11:45 AM

    I totally agree, this blog and these trolls have totally ruined this fun show. Used to be silly and fun, now it’s all about putting people down and “correctness” whatever. Way to ruin things people

  8. justsaying

    March 9, 2021 at 1:12 PM

    I do feel they didn’t need to show Matt and his dad’s conversation. Feels so invasive and painful for them to air it all out in public, on top of perpetuating racial stereotypes.

    I really LOVE Bri. She’s so elegant and beautiful. My heart is breaking for her.

  9. idontcare

    March 9, 2021 at 1:38 PM

    You are brave but will probably be blocked. Although Steve says he doesn’t read the comments, you know he does. I realize you probably don’t care if you get blocked. Just saying I know he reads these comments bc I am aware of 2 people who he blocked bc of their comments here. He used to say he doesn’t feel any way towards this franchise but he very much is attached to it. That can be seen clearly. He is invested with money and feelies and addicted. He gets triggered. Best to you.

  10. fishbelt

    March 9, 2021 at 3:16 PM

    @iampunka and kathyr – I feel the same. I remember coming to this website and there would be 25, 30 comments every week, tons of reader emails and Steve’s recaps would be so funny. That’s what I came here for. Steve now has to beg for reader emails, and he’s now a racial studies expert. I don’t think it’s journalistically responsible to voice your opinion in your columns, but it’s his column and he’s no journalist.
    The franchise/show has been ruined, but it had a good run. Time to shut the mansion door. It’ll never be fun again.

  11. therightreasons

    March 9, 2021 at 6:38 PM

    You’ll have to explain this one to me because I’m kind of confused. When you (and Steve) say “perpetuating racial stereotypes (I’m guessing when it comes to Matt and his dad because that appears to be the context),” what does that mean?

    A situation that mirrors (depending on your statistics you get because they vary from source to source and year to year) anywhere from 64-72 percent of that population group that is not simply a “racial stereotype.” It’s an unfortunate truth, is it not?

  12. fishbelt

    March 9, 2021 at 6:57 PM

    @theright – those were my thoughts exactly, too. At the very least, extremely erroneous phrasing.

  13. caffeinequeen

    March 9, 2021 at 7:14 PM

    @therightreasons and @fishbelt, the racial stereotype RS is referring to is that of the philandering, absent Black father. Maybe Matt’s father was those things. And maybe it’s more complicated than that. I’m not making excuses for him. I do agree that it was a conversation that should have been conducted in private. If anything, that exchange was like ripping the band-aid off the wound. Cringe-worthy.

  14. GoingBlonde

    March 9, 2021 at 8:06 PM

    When ya have to continue to beg for reader emails, you have officially become an asshole. Anyone who dares challenge Steve’s woke-ism gets tossed out like yesterday’s trash.

  15. shellylite

    March 9, 2021 at 11:53 PM

    Matt’s discussion with his Dad was awful and painful. It didn’t belong on TV.
    Actually, neither do all these racism accusations against Rachel K with Rachel L’s blessings. Unless there is motive to be hateful or racist, I don’t believe anything RK did was racist, but wow did she get judged fast. Like a lot of others I don’t feel this show is the right vehicle for any kind of racism discussions or accusations. I mean, even sitcoms have diversity probems, like “Modern Family” for example – how long was that a hit show, and how many non-PC things did that show do (A lot) and did they ever have a giant racism discussion/controversy? I don’t know, because I stopped watching it, but I bet accusations about lack of diversity never ruined that show or any show like it. Because some shows are just majority white and some shows are majority non-white, that’s how all TV shows are. Few of them bend over backwards to be truly representative, racially, of our country. Why suddenly make The Bachelor franchise the show that’s supposed to live up to that representation? It’s just a dumb reality show. No one expects anything fantastic to come out of it. And think of all the people who have become famous from that stupid reality show, and one of them is Rachel Lindsay.
    The Bachelor franchise is a really dumb thing to get upset about. Racism is just one of its many, many problems.
    This judgmental blog isn’t helping the show. And I will never watch Temptation Island. It’s even more worthless than the Bachelor.

  16. shellylite

    March 9, 2021 at 11:59 PM

    @jlal I think the point was, Matt really went out of his way to make the point to the women that he wasn’t his Dad, wasn’t afraid of commitment and marriage, and then in the end, he clearly is/was.
    That’s all. It’s simplistic and it makes no sense that he had to talk to his Dad on TV to figure that out. “I’m not my Dad” is what everyone says at some point. But Matt needed that TV conversation to reach that conclusion, and then in the end, he kind of was his Dad after all.

  17. therightreasons

    March 10, 2021 at 7:55 AM

    I’m with everyone that those things are cringy and shouldn’t be on TV. However, these people sign contracts and for the most part probably know what they are getting into. It sounds kind of cold but sometimes people have too much sympathy and admiration for people when most of this stuff is signed and fabricated to a certain degree (I don’t know how much of it is in this situation but you hear all the time about how fake all of this stuff is kind of like the girl earlier this year that left because her parent was dying but she went back to her boyfriend and they were jet setting). When people are truly innocent and get manipulated it is a terrible thing but that doesn’t happen very often and it is usually willingly for fame and ratings.

    Like I said before, something that is a reality for 64-72% of that population group is not a “racial stereotype” and should stop being called as such. That is diminishing a real issue (which has multiplied for pretty much every group but the percentage happens to be astronomically high for this certain population group) that is part of the solution to a complex problem.

  18. justsaying

    March 10, 2021 at 12:18 PM

    @therightreasons Perpetuating stereotypes can create a lot of hate-crimes and divide. We need more love in this world

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