Hi Steve –
First time… Yada yada.
First of all, the fight wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be from the “fight” perspective. However… Some bad dynamics in play here. Super glad these two didn’t get together, but I don’t think either one of them are necessarily terrible people.
What I saw was this: Greg was feeling insecure (and rightfully so, since that comes with the territory with risking your heart… Then add the situation like this, and then compounded by seeing the fear reflected in his mom’s face and the producer hijinks) and decided he needed reassurance RIGHTAWAY. But bad news, Greg! You made a few miscalculations. One, you didn’t know how to ask for it, which is a thing that comes with practice and maturity. (I’m not flaming Greg here – it takes time to learn this.) Two, you put yourself in a situation where reassurance comes at a premium and you can’t rely on it.
Greg’s defense mechanism was to gaslight Katie, though I don’t even know if he knows that’s what he was doing. But speaking as someone who was involved with a gaslighter myself, I saw it the second it started. It put him back in control, especially the moment Katie started groveling. Which she did, just like I used to do. It hurt me to see it. Oh Katie! Which is why I’m glad these two didn’t get together – they both have issues to work through, but neither one are necessarily terrible people.
However, I kept thinking about Blake watching last night. He might think that Katie was so attached to Greg that she wanted to leave, and not realize that… I suspect, and this might be a bit too much therapy (but I’ll say it anyway) that Katie’s recovery from her sexual assault still leaves lasting scars, as mine does. Hell, even I was tempted to run after Greg last night. It’s not a linear process.
And for all of you reading this who might be freaking out today… Calm down. Eat a cookie. Go get vaxxed. Or help someone in need. It’s just a show.
Comment: Agree with all of that.
The argument reminded me of the classic pregnancy announcement. The woman knows and plans a big deal reveal to the father, has days to adapt and is excited. He is hit with the news out of the blue and is expected to have the perfect romantic response in the first instant. If he needs a minute to digest the news, whoa boy, bad times for him! I think Greg had been whipping up those (very valid) feelings for quite a while and Katie just needed a minute to process.
If Katie could have said, “I still don’t know enough about you to know how to fix this and I want to. Tell me what you need from me.” I think it would have diffused him. She was struggling to try and figure it out on the fly and he was too whipped up. I do think she was also struggling under the constraints of the show, and if this had happened with no cameras around it would have gone much differently. Basically, it was a normal fight in a very abnormal circumstance and they both screwed it up. Too bad for both of them.
Comment: Good analogy. Katie definitely could’ve chosen better words. I don’t think anyone is doubting that. But the people who are crucifying her so easily just aren’t being empathetic at all to the position she’s in as the lead, and all that info Greg dropped on her.
Is your hunch for next week’s episode that she’s not going to take Justin all the way to the end?
In that since we know she’s going to get engaged to Blake, there’s really two options in my mind: she can either let Justin take the limo and start the proposal speech where she then cuts him off, OR she goes to him the day before or morning of and breaks up with him/tells him that the strong feelings aren’t there.
I just don’t see her taking Justin all the way to end at the full proposal (and cutting him off) without letting him go at an earlier opportunity.
Comment: I’d be stunned if she did. Pretty sure he’s let go before the final rose ceremony happens.
After watching the Greg/Katie fallout last night I agree that both could have handled and reacted in that situation much better. That being said, do you think that Katie reacting the way she did and not giving Greg the validation that he “needed” was because she had already made her decision that he wasn’t the one? I seem to recall reading at some point that most leads know pretty early in the process who they will ultimately choose. If so her reaction (and Greg’s thinking he isn’t the final guy) make a lot more sense.
Thanks for your columns! I look forward to reading them just about as much as I look forward to watching the show!
Comment: I think she either knew she wasn’t picking him 100% or she was at least leaning in the direction of Blake before that convo ever happened. That’s just my opinion.
Hope you’re doing well! Answering your request for more emails this week.
I could be completely mis-remembering; but I thought you had said the Greg and Katie fight goes on day and night; and one or the other kept going back and forth over a period of days. Do you think we saw the end of it, or will it continue at the beginning of the finale? I’ve probably just built up an image in my head that this spanned another night (in real time filming), but it also didn’t seem like a “fight” between them, as Katie didn’t do a lot of fighting back – no yelling, although he really didn’t let her say much in response at all. I’m just trying to connect the dots of how we got from her being so sad and regretful to speaking about him as the bigger villain than Thomas. It feels like there’s more to come, or a chunk where it turns against Greg was left out.
What do you think? Thanks!
Comment: I never said it went on for a period of days. Not sure where you got that from. It did span two different days. They had the uncomfortable conversation after he left his parents, then, he went to go talk to her the next day. We don’t see him anymore. The last hour of the show Monday night was dedicated to Katie and Greg when they squeezed Blake and Justin into the first hour.
Thanks for your insightful, rational take on what happened between Greg and Katie. Here’s my two cents.
After a season of moping to get reassurance, Greg dropped a dramatic love bomb and thought it entitled him to some kind of guarantee or early win. His use of extreme emotion to overwhelm Katie and control the game flustered her, partly because she’s been traumatized by sexual assault, but primarily because his refusal to see her side and respect her process was shocking (and Blake is still a contender). Enraged at not getting what he wanted, Greg returned the next day to berate Katie and punish her by leaving. No apology could change his mind.
The timing of Greg’s declaration and departure suggests that he wanted to stop Katie from doing the fantasy suites with the other men. When his love bomb didn’t work, he berated her and then split in the hope that she would feel terrible, end the game and chase after him. What a way to burst her romantic bubble!
Any chance Blake does something heroic in next week’s episode?
Comment: I don’t know about heroic, but when he ends up with her, I guess that means he stuck by her and didn’t bolt at the first sign of adversity.
I love reading your page! I think your so funny!
I have a question about the previews for BIP. Why does it appear they are leaving because it’s “no longer safe”? Do you know if this is just edited to look that way or if they actually relocated? Pretty sure it was a weather issue. Like a major storm was headed their way and they had to evacuate. But I don’t know for how long.
Also please tell Kat I say hi if you get a chance! I’m a super fan of big brother and I was literally obsessed with her on the show! Would love the chance to talk to her someday. Will do.
I also wanted to say I think it’s so cool how you do reader emails! It’s such a fun way to feel like your really connecting with your readers! Thanks for everything, Steve
Comment: Thanks. I’m trying to remember how long I’ve been doing “Reader Emails” on a weekly basis in season. I wanna say at least 9-10 years I think? It will always be a staple of this website.
Hi Steve ~
Some Love Island and Podcast Statements and Questions:
Thoughts on this season of LI? Last night was the worst episode of the season. So boring. NOTHING happened. And it seems like the best drama of the season is happening on social media. But I’m still watching every night it’s on.
I really think the show should just give Charlie the $$ at this point bcuz he’s the most rational and “normal” Islander this season.
I like Cash but I don’t think she sees how much she’s been doing what Cinco did, and playing Cinco vs Charlie.
So now that there’s no chance of Cash/Cinco winning, what couple are you thinking will make it to the very end? I still think Cash has a great chance. Or maybe who Korey is with. They seem to be the most popular among the fans.
I’m with America and not a Will fan at all. I think as Kyra watches this back she might have a better read on him. Or she already knows since they allegedly knew each other pre-show, which is the rumor as to why Leslie just randomly was taken off the show – she shared to Korey about Will and Kyra knowing each other and he told others.
Would you or will you reach out to some of the Islanders this season for the podcast?
I think it would be great to hear more from them (similar to what you do with Bach and TI).
Did you ever reach out to last year’s cast to interview them? Yes, and CBS didn’t approve any of them coming on, so, I’m not sure I wanna do that again.
Somewhat of a random podcast statement/question: I could have sworn you interviewed Rego (“Rated R”) but when I did a quick search back, I didn’t see one.
Since a few of your recent guests talked so highly of him, it would be awesome to get an episode with him and what life is like now.
Since I’m a longtime Bach watcher and reader of your column, I love hearing from old school cast members. Literally a different world being on the show now vs 5-15 years ago. I did, but it wasn’t since I started my podcast. It was years ago. Like in 2009 or 2010 and now that everything has been deleted on my site pre-2016, I don’t have it anymore.
A quick Greg thought:
It seemed like A LOT was edited based on what was shown vs what you had reported a while back (went on for a long time, I believe you mentioned there was quite a bit of arguing or even yelling?). I don’t think he was mentally equipped to be on the show (like many who don’t truly know what it’s like to get on). He didn’t want to hear he was a front runner or that he was getting a rose, yet wanted “more” and for her to be real?
And she changed? Like huh? Seems like she was being as “real” as she could, and maybe even told him way more that we aren’t shown to try and convince him of this.
I’m sure at the end of the day, Katie is likely pretty happy she saw what a relationship would have been like if they ended up together, and is glad things turned out for the best.
Have a good night!
Comment: I can’t imagine Greg watched that back and thought he handled that perfectly, did nothing wrong, and planned on doubling down on that behavior at ATFR. If he did, that’d be pretty short sighted of him. Especially having 3 months to think about it.
I thought watching Arie dump Becca was brutal but he clearly had an agenda and was breaking up. Two days later and after reading your take and many others I am still not sure what Greg Grippo’s intention was.
If his intention was to free himself so he could be the next Bachelor he clearly missed the mark. All he had to do was play it out and if he came in second he would have been a slam dunk. I realize a couple of others Michael and Andrew also have a shot but I think Greg would had the best chance. However, because of the way he handled it I think he just became less popular than Juan Pablo.
If his intention was to create a scene worthy of a Bradley Cooper role to get Hollywood’s attention he clearly blew it. He was confusing and kept talking over Katie. There was no rational build up to the scene that could ever justify such a confusing Jeckyl and Hyde performance.
I know you indicated before the show started that previous people in Greg’s life said some bad things about him. I can clearly see why after watching that train wreck Monday night.
Katie clearly can’t stand him based on her IG and if he did tape ATFR I don’t think it went well.
Comment: The whole thing is very confusing. Katie is not at fault either. She did and said some confusing things. But within those things she said, I think she handled herself well. Greg seemed to get unhinged in the moment and I don’t see how it escalated to what it did. Seemed like a giant overreaction.
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