• Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 6 Recap

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    Photo Credit: MTV

    Sometimes I look back at the days in my life before I knew what a mermaid-goddess-princess was and I realize it was a much simpler time. It’s sort of like how I felt right after I made the moronic choice – dear fucking God, it was a choice – to sit through Human Centipede and then, for almost a year, I would hear the words “Feeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeee” every single time I closed my eyes to go to sleep. It was rough. I began to pray that a shiny Delorean (or really any vehicle with a Flux Capacitor) would appear as if from a dream so I could run towards it, hop inside, go lurching back in time, and reclaim whatever innocence I’d had before my mind was corrupted forever by a “filmmaker” whose idea of art was connecting three people from ass to mouth. Not for one second am I suggesting that Floribama Shore’s Aimee is in any way similar to a creature that relies on the fuel created by someone else’s colon to survive, … Continue reading

  • Podcasts

    Podcast #57 – Interview with “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” Brandi Glanville

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    I promise you’ll be getting your Episode 1 break down soon. Was out of town all last weekend, got back late Monday, and have been a little swamped with stuff the last few days. No, this has nothing to do with any possible pending litigation. As I said, I will continue to spoil as planned. Hey, that “Bachelor: Canada” spoiler I gave you on Thanksgiving Day seemed to work out last night, didn’t it? I highly doubt I’ll ever get another spoiler to that show in the future, so I’d temper any expectations going forward. That was complete luck that dropped in my lap this season. Glad I could help though. As for this week’s podcast, it’s a “dual” interview, as both me and Brandi Glanville interview each other during this hour plus gabfest. We definitely talk about a lot of things in this podcast as you’ll see below. I’ve never watched RHOBH before, but I certainly knew about Brandi from reading both her books and her life in the tabloids. Pretty crazy what she’s … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 5 Recap

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    I know it seems like I started and ended my last recap talking about a blowout fight at a bar that went down after an allegedly human specimen took one heavy-lidded look at a camera crew and decided to snag seven bile-inducing seconds of infamy by tangling with a Floribama Shore cast member – and that’s because I did start and end my last recap that way. Unfortunately, I must start my current recap in exactly the same manner because it turns out there are limited options for what can happen on a series in which rather naïve twenty-somethings navigate a world populated only by drinking establishments and stores that sell really tiny shorts. Though there will undoubtedly be evenings when someone feels up a witch or a house meal collectively ravages colons in a clenching sort of bonding experience, for the most part this is a show where people go out and get provoked and lose their sh*t entirely until just about everyone in the vicinity swings a fist, shrieks some less poetic version … Continue reading

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