-Good thing they teased us at the end of last episode with whether or not Nick would take the remaining four girls on hometowns, right? You know, because Nick specifically said in People.com blog that he’d be going to four hometowns, and then ABC ran promos all week showing clips of Nick visiting all four ladies’ hometowns. Soooooooo the point of pretending one of the remaining four would be eliminated before then waaaaaaassssss…..? This show does things every season that makes zero sense. This is one of them. Not to mention, every episode this season being a cliffhanger and a “To Be Continued…” We’ve seen it in the past where they had a few episodes that bled into the next one, but every single one this season has been that, and it’s just pointless. My guess is more people are annoyed by it than like it. People aren’t watching this show because they expect it to be a “Scandal”-type show. It’s not. So enough with the cliffhangers. I get that it’s ABC and this is the way they like to run their “dramas,” but they’re completely missing the boat on this one.
-Nick shows up to the house in Bimini, the girls are freaking out acting like they have no clue what’s coming next. Well, Corinne was more freaking out over it than the others. That’s because Corinne seems as bright as a box of hammers, so naturally, she’d think something was up even though Nick walked into the room with FOUR ROSES. Apparently Corinne count to four and yeah. We’ve got our answer. Nick says no rose ceremony, all four girls are getting hometowns and Corinne can stop sweating now that she can’t do 1st grade math. Plus, they wouldn’t build a whole season around Corinne’s bratty, spoiled, entitled behavior and then NOT let everyone see the two figures that spawned this little devil child. And her nanny, which was easily the most overhyped thing all season. Racquel, I’m sure you’re a great housekeeper/nanny/cucumber-go-getter/cheese pasta maker and all, but I hope you realize what you signed up for with this. Can’t say they depicted you in the greatest of lights last night.
-Time for Nick’s first hometown in Hoxie, Arkansas. Raven rides up in her 4 wheeler and these two are about to get down and dirty on this date…even though it was shown out of order. And I’m not talking about the sequence of all the dates, because that was too. In case you don’t remember the spoilers, they were filmed Corinne 1st, Rachel 2nd, Raven 3rd, and Vanessa 4th. Last night, we know they showed Raven, Rachel, Corinne, then Vanessa. Who knows why they do the things they do. Anyway, one of the first things Raven and Nick did together was climb a grain bin to have a talk…or so we thought. If you noticed, Raven’s shirt was already dirty when they climbed the grain bin, so they obviously did the mud make out before that. As for her brother pulling them over and pretending like they were in trouble – really? Like, Nick was putting those acting class skills to good use or he was really thinking they were in trouble by local police. Even though cameras were still rolling on them. So I will give Nick the benefit of the doubt and say he was well aware what was happening and just acting like he has all season. Bravo. Emmy for Nick this week.
-I think rolling around in the mud is a perfect way to find out if that’s your soulmate. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see how dedicated their partner was to them covered in moss, algae, and god knows what other types of fungus these two had attached to them after that romp in the swamp. Are we sure this is healthy? How were they not in hazmat suits the rest of the episode? I feel like that may have been more appropriate. I half expected Raven to be growing a third arm out of her forehead by the end of the night. I guess the lesson here is if you’re a germophobe, you probably don’t want to date Raven. They’re getting into to some dirty sh** down in Hoxie. If you want to get it on on a bail of hay at night with the barn lights on, then Raven is the girl for you. If however you think that a hook up may also be watched by pigs and livestock, then you might want to pass. And god forbid, if you don’t learn how to call the hogs, you essentially have no chance in the Gates’ household. Get those spirit fingers ready boys. There wasn’t anything more disappointing in Raven’s hometown date then not seeing them make night call the hogs. We couldn’t get a family “Pig Suey?” Bullsh**.
-When Nick finally meets the family, he meets dad Wesley, mom Tracy, and brother Weston, who he already met. The good news that Raven got immediately from her father is that he announced he was cancer free. Always good to hear. What could be looked at as potentially bad news, Wesley is a more country spitting image of Ken Bone. I think they absolutely should’ve made sure Wesley wore a red sweater for that date. It took place Nov. 1st, just a week before the election. Why not have a little fun with it. I guess the show doesn’t have a sense of humor about that. I sure do. By the way, did we ever find out who Ken Bone voted for? Not that I care either way, I just figured with how popular he became after the debates, someone would’ve gotten an answer from him. Maybe they did and I didn’t hear it since I don’t care one iota about politics. Wesley Bone, you’re all right in our books and I’m glad you’re feeling better. Now call them hogs for us so we can have a good ol’ time on this date.
-When Nick talks to Raven’s dad, he asks for his blessing. Sort of. Basically after laying it out there of if they get to the end and both he and Raven want to see this through, he doesn’t ask, “Do I have your blessing to marry your daughter,” it’s “Is that ok with you?” Interesting phrasing. Wesley Bone lays down the law basically telling Nick he didn’t expect to like him. But he does, and if his daughter is happy, he’s happy. You know how I feel about these hometown visits every season. It’s completely unrealistic for any parent in this situation to absolutely be 100% convinced to give their blessing to a guy they just met. It’s so stupid, so not natural, and so unrealistic. Yet we’ve seen it for 21 seasons. And really, even though every parent for the most part agrees, they always follow it up with, “Well if my daughter’s happy, then I’m happy.” Exactly. That’s really all they can say and pretty much what they all DO say. The asking is just embarrassing at this point. It’s so forced and every parent must be cringing when they say yes. Unfortunately, we’re stuck with this every season and I almost have to scratch my eyeballs out watching parents succumb to this pressure.
