Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Get Ready for the Longest Podcast Yet

So I told you yesterday that this week’s podcast being released tomorrow is the return of Michelle Money, one week later, but she is interviewing me this time. Get your popcorn ready. I think Michelle asked me everything other than my checking account and social security number. I mean, we practically started at birth and went all the way up through where I am now. Needless to say, it’s the most thorough interview I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t have done this with too many other people, but Michelle being a friend, this is something she wanted to do, so absolutely I agreed to do it. And I think I pretty much answered everything asked of me. Granted, I couldn’t go into details on certain things, but there are some things in there I touch on for probably the first time ever. Because we covered so much, and Michelle did THREE “Rapid 10’s” of her own, this interview took a while. Like, 2 1/2 hours worth. Yep. I think it clocked in exactly around 2 hours and 28 minutes. Soooooo yeah, maybe you don’t need to know that much about my life, but hey, it’s all there if you really want to listen to my life from a young age up until now. Just wanted to change things up for a week, and next week we’ll be back on track as Sharleen Joynt joins the podcast, which will be released on Wednesday. Just got confirmation on the guest the week after, and I’m very excited about it. You can say it’s one of the most important/interesting people in this franchise. That’ll be released in two weeks.

Get your “Dr. Reality Steve” emails in for tomorrow. Didn’t have any last week, and I think right now I have two. So hopefully we can get some more in. Email those today and I can guarantee they’ll be in tomorrow’s column.

Some good “Reader Emails” this week. Let the games begin…

First thing, it is upsetting to hear Kaitlyn was snubbed for the DWTS role by Mike Fleiss such a double standard! Also, I wish he would stop using the word ‘historic’ when its really not. He’s the King of Hyperbole, what do you expect?

However, now that Nick has been officially announced as part of the cast for DWTS and the premiere is March. 20th, following the March 13th finale do you think it will interfere with Nick and Vanessa’s press junket tour (GMA, Live with Kelly, etc.) I heard Peta say in an interview they spend 5-6 hours each day dancing.

It will also to be interesting to see if Vanessa supports Nick in LA for the duration he is on the show.

Comment: Peta said that? Seems a little light since I heard it’s more like 8-10 hours a day. They’ll still do their media tour. Just means Peta will be with them and they’ll be getting studio time in NY.

For the duration? I can’t imagine she’s gonna be in LA the whole time because, ummmmm, doesn’t she have kids that need her even though she left them already earlier this school year for two months? She gonna do it again? And secondly, you’ve heard Sean say it in interviews and his book that DWTS was the hardest period for him and Catherine because she was bored and had nothing to do while he rehearsed all day. I hope for Vanessa’s sake, she doesn’t move there for the duration, because god forbid, the Vanessa crazies will in fact go crazy realizing their precious little angel might not be all she’s cracked up to be. Being there in the audience for a few Monday night shows? I absolutely expect that. Moving to LA right away and living with him? That’d be a bit much, wouldn’t it?

Hi Steve!

If you magically could have Mike Fleiss on your podcast, what are 3 questions you would ask him?

(Meant to ask this earlier this week!) Thanks for all you do!

Comment: 1) Why are you such a tremendous douchenozzle?

2) If you didn’t have hundreds of millions of dollars, do you think your wife 23 years your junior, who you met at the Miss America pageant that SHE WON and YOU JUDGED in 2012, would be remotely interested in you?

3) Ummmm…errrrrrr…uhhhhhh…do you like pizza?

I saw the reply “Thanks. I find it amazing that someone reads my column weekly that doesn’t watch the show and hasn’t since 2009. Are you sure about that?”

I know, I’m a weirdo! Haha. I really haven’t watched any. I tuned into the whole Jason/Molly finale thing when it happened because everyone was picking up the story at the time that something was going down, and that’s what turned me onto your blog. I started reading it by little bits, and suddenly was hooked – I found the behind-the-scenes drama and production interesting. I work an office job, so it’s easy to read a little bit of your post in-between calls and meetings when I have a second free. I never watched any of the live q&as but I have listened to the podcasts with former contestants and those are great! It’s exactly the kind of stuff I read/listen for. I do scan the recaps so I have a rough idea of what is going on (and of course the villain-of-the-week antics are over every news site), so I guess I get the gist of the actual show. But yeah, besides watching the first two Bachelor Pads during lunch breaks a few years back, that’s it.

I mean, extra props for you, because if you weren’t such an engaging writer, I’m sure I wouldn’t have stuck around. You do good work! I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more readers who don’t follow the show but are a Reality Steve fan; we just don’t normally have any reason to write.

Take care!

Comment: Thanks. It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around. I believe you, but in my position, I know I have readers, I know I have loyal readers, but sometimes it’s hard to comprehend. I don’t know how else to put it.

Hi Steve,

I won’t really be asking questions, just rambling. Sorry!

First off, will you be making/sharing a march madness bracket? As a Gonzaga student, I’m interested to see your thoughts on this year’s tournament. (I know, I know, we fell to BYU… It’s embarrassing, frankly. My friends and I were devastated and drank lots of alcohol to recover). Yes, I will. The two weeks leading up to the tournament is when I watch my most college basketball and read up on as much as I can. As mentioned yesterday, still unbelievable that as many times as I’ve been to Vegas, I’ve never gone for first weekend of March Madness until this year. Leave a week from today and I can’t wait.

As for the Zags, what made that game more of a kick to the nuts is the fact they started out up 18-2. At home. On Senior Night. Brutal loss. But you know what? Probably best they lost before the tournament. Too much pressure if they didn’t. Since the tournament went to 64 teams, no team has ever gone undefeated and won the title. And considering the Zags have never even made a Final Four, it would’ve been tough to think THEY would’ve been the first team to do it. I actually think they have a better chance now to at least get that far, if not win it. But a lot depends on their bracket, and if they get help with upsets. The tournament is such a crap shoot.

I just finished reading Andi’s book. It was a lot different than I expected. But wow. Scathing. My friend was in the ER when I was reading it and sent her pictures of the Nick fantasy suite date crap knowing she’d get a laugh out of it. She did, and added a, “What the f**k?” That was her revenge for what he did on the ATFR. She pretty much admitted that in the episode last week.

I love that Kaitlyn has begun to call out (albeit sometimes subtly) double standards and sexism in the show. I wonder if we’ll hear more from her once her contract expires. Her contract should be up by now. It’s usually one year from when your finale airs.

For the love of god, on just one of these hometowns I want the dad/parent when asked for their blessing to be like, “I dunno, why don’t you ask her?” But I know that will never happen because the show is too traditional to consider the fact that asking the parents’ permission is antiquated (in my opinion, at least).

Being reality steve aside, do you ever wonder what kind of edit you would get on the show? I think about that a lot and it makes me laugh cause I know I’d get a terrible edit because the producers would hate me. I’d actively avoid drama and talking about people, so they’d get annoyed and twist my words. Plus, I have a very low tolerance for f**kboys and douchebags, which this franchise seems to have a lot of. It’s impossible for me to say that since I’d never go on the show and they’d never have me. So it’s never even been a thought.

I loved your interview with JJ. I’m glad he mentioned how hard it is to go back to your old job. I went back and watched Chris Soules’ season a few months ago (my first season was Kaitlyn’s) and my sister watched a couple of episodes with me and talked about how she’d be surprised if someone who was a psychologist, for example, (she’s one, so speaking from experience) went on the show because it could ruin their career. It would ruin their reputation with clients and nobody would take their research seriously. Sure enough, Taylor (though not a psychologist, but mental health counselor is similar enough) said that she can’t go back to her job because going on the show basically ruined her career. Why do you think more people don’t realize that it could ruin their career? I guess they’re chasing hair vitamin ads, right?

Thanks for reading this mess!

Comment: Pretty much. None of them think that far ahead. They just look at what past contestants are doing now on social media and figure they can do it too. Not that easy.

It’s interesting that during hometowns Vanessa and her family made such a big damn deal about her previous heart break, and we as viewers knew nothing about it. Do you think this is another example of the show “covering” for Vanessa so to speak, or is it possible that she didn’t really get into the story with them? I assume it’s the former, but I still like to hear your thoughts haha.

Also, I assume that some/most contestants go on this show who are huge bachelor nation fans and read your site religiously and everything. You’ve mentioned before that some contestants have a mentality that they can “one-up” the show or not fall trap to its… traps. (MAYBE Sharleen is the one who came the closest, I didn’t watch JP season but it seems like she came away looking relatively close to her real sophisticated self). Anyway, I wonder if they interview people during casting who would otherwise be great contestants, but they turn them away bc they think they won’t be easy enough to manipulate. Thoughts? Or can they really cast whoever they want and by the power of TV and editing make them come off any way they want? Then there are contestants like maybe Rachel who seems to have a strong sense of self, but is willing to play the game. But that’s a different story. I think it’s a mixture of both. I gotta believe in the last 15 years they’ve had someone in casting they thought would be cast, but during the course of interviews, the person was way too skeptical and they decided not to cast them. I can see that happening. I also they think they’ve probably cast some people they knew would be “tough” just to see if they could.

Also also, I think I saw somewhere you like This Is Us? So good! Randall and Beth are my favorites and I think Sterling K. Jones is one of the best actors out there right now. Like I want to see a movie career from him. I’m in the middle of American Crime Story OJ and he’s so damn good. So is Sarah Paulson, Courtney B. Vance, and John Travolta. Did you ever watch? Yes, I watched it. It was excellent. I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did when I first saw the casting. But the way they told the story was great. Sterling deserved the Golden Globe he got, and hopefully he gets the Emmy for it.

I swear to god last thing – do you not like cursing? I think you ** out the sh- word from me once. If it’s for the sake of your audience that’s fine, but if you just don’t like cursing I can respect that and not do it so much. It’s nice of you to answer my rants so it’s the least I can do!

Comment: I’m fine with cursing. I do it a lot. I just try not to in my column. If someone wants to, that’s fine as well. I just have to *** it out.

Hey Steve,

I’m a long tan fan and look forward to your posts. I’ve started watching your podcasts and enjoying them, and was just thinking, would Jamie Otis ever be a possible guest? You’ve obviously probably heard she is pregnant again with her Married at First Sight husband (never thought that would last), and her book was pretty good. I am not sure if she’d have anything interesting to say about the Bachelor that we haven’t already heard, but given she’s been on the news lately, I have thought about her recently and think she could be a good guest. Thoughts? Also, would you consider interviewing non Bachelor cast members on reality shows, like Stassi from Vanderpump Rules, etc? There are a lot of guests out there, but I really don’t want to comment on who I’ve asked, who I haven’t, etc. If a guest says yes, then obviously you’ll eventually hear them. But I don’t want to run down a list of everyone I’ve asked, because if people don’t hear anyone from that list on, they’ll assume they said no and maybe tweet at them or whatever, and I don’t want that. The guests will come every week and we’ll just take it from there.

On another note regarding Rachel’s season, I know you mentioned that there’s a new head honcho at ABC and probably had a lot of pull in making Rachel the Bachelorette and getting some diversity into the series. Not hating on the decision at all, I think Rachel is awesome, but am just thinking ahead..Given Rachel said on her home town date that she never brought home a white guy before (Nick was the first), do you think that she will naturally gravitate toward the black suitors cast on her season and ultimately have let’s say at least 2 or 3 black guys in the top 4? And if so, would ABC cast a black bachelor right after her season? If that’s the case, I could see the dynamic of the show and viewers shifting a bit, because I would guess the viewers are mostly white females, and for better or for worse, people watch shows because they can “relate” to them or find the guys attractive, and skin color is a factor. I think there are probably a fair amount of people who don’t want to look racist and are happy Rachel will be the first black bachelorette, but wouldn’t necessarily want the trend to continue so much so that white leads become the minority or even split 50/50. What do you think?

Ciao for now.

Comment: It’s really too early to say now since we don’t have anywhere close the final cast list for Rachel’s season yet, nor do we know how her season will play out. But given what she said this season about her dating history with white guys coupled with things I’ve heard about her dating history, I think I’d be surprised if Rachel gets engaged to a white guy this season. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You like who you like. And I think Rachel is most likely going to be drawn to a black guy. Do I think her final 4 will be all black guys? No.

Hey Steve!

I know I just sent an email your way last week, but I developed an interesting theory and I thought I’d share with you.

As far as your site goes, I know you’re just the messenger and relay the information to us, but regardless you may be intrigued unless you’ve already thought of this yourself or someone has previously shared.

Since it’s fairly transparent that Nick is in it for the fame and the perks, my theory is that he purposely chose Vanessa in the end and actively pursued her from the start because she’s Canadian. And since you’ve stated numerous times that he didn’t do this show to find a wife, it just makes sense that this almost gives him an easy way out. So this way, he can leave the relationship still looking good because to ordinary viewers it’s an “understandable reason” why their relationship didn’t make it in the end. And then in his mind, he can continue on in his life and book more gigs without a huge scandal on his heels from the relationship ending. However, in reality, I’m sure he’ll still face scandals and criticism from it and whatever else he does.

Just a theory. Not a far fetched theory at all.

Also, one more comment about Ben, judging from what was portrayed on TV about his character and selfless heart, it’s a shame he ended up with someone so materialistic and superficial. I always imagined he’d hopefully end up with someone as selfless as him and who’s also actively involved in charity and humanitarian efforts herself. But then again, what can we expect based on the franchise’s casting record. You know how I’ve said time and time and time again how this show changes people? Well…

Lastly, it pains me to see and hear about Taylor being ripped apart. Anyone with a mature mind can see that Corinne manipulated Taylor. She sought Taylor out to have that conversation and knew exactly what she was doing by shifting the blame and playing the victim card. I thought Taylor handled herself very well and articulately. Corinne is entitled and obnoxious and the media and people need to stop giving her attention and what she wants. It’s a sad world that we live in. Anyways, who knows how much producer involvement there was in that feud, but at the same time, from what the audience was shown, I’m very surprised there aren’t more Taylor fans and that many kind of migrated over to Corinne. Guess that goes to show how shallow viewers are that they relate to someone like Corinne. I mean, nothing should really surprise me at this point given the current state of our country and who was elected as president. Corinne thinks that she’s funny, people think that she’s funny, I don’t. She’s entertaining, sure, but it’s so forced and she’s obviously trying so so desperately to “be funny” it’s pathetic. I also can’t stand to listen to her voice. I don’t know, maybe I just relate more to Taylor because I identify with real and (sorry to say it) “emotionally intelligent” people. And I’ve known “Corinne’s” in my lifetime, so maybe that’s why I despise her and her narcissism so much and relate more to Taylor’s perspective? Who knows. I’m just floored at how much support Corinne is receiving, it’s sickening.

Okay that’s it. Sorry to drown you in my words 2 weeks in a row! I promise that’s it for now.

Comment: I think plenty of people side with you on the Corinne/Taylor feud. But because Corinne is more “popular” post-show with the amount of attention she’s getting, it’s the “cool” thing to be #TeamCorinne now.

I laughed reading your reader emails about how much people got on you about Vanessa! I didn’t really believe people would attack you like you said they would. It has to be her friends writing in, right? Or are people really that invested? I have no idea who these people are other than people who don’t have the slightest grip on reality. Watch a TV show, talk about it with your friends, follow the contestants on social media – I’m fine with that. But you could tell by those emails these people take it to a level where they take it much much too serious, and that’s where it’s just laughable.

Now to be a total hypocrite….

I’m so so glad Kaitlyn spoke out against Mike Fleiss blocking her from being on DTWS. It does come off as extremely sexist and instead of rebutting that, Mike’s response on Twitter, to me, was childish and douchey As a show producer, isn’t this someone who should care a little more about PR?

Comment: I think Fleiss lives by the mantra that “any publicity is good publicity.” Remember, this was the guy that created “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” with Darva Conger and that whole sh** show. So he has pretty low standards when it comes to what he’ll put on TV. If people are talking about it, he’s happy. In dealing with his spat with Kaitlyn? Absolutely he comes off like a moron because what he said makes sense. One of the few contestants in this show’s history to call him out on the carpet publicly for how they were treated, and he basically had nothing to say in return. Telling her that her passion should’ve been on Shawn? That’s his reasoning for not letting her do it, when he let 4 “Bachelors” before her do it? It really makes no sense and only feeds into the narrative of him being sexist.


I don’t know how you do it – putting up with the naive, clueless people that write in every week practically scolding you for things you’ve never said or when you just simply state the facts (re: the Vanessa/Rachel fight).

How can a Bachelor/ette get to know these contestants in such a short amount of time, let alone the viewer who watches the “relationships grow” for about an hour and a half every week on television? I mean come on people! Do you honestly think you know these people on a personal level and know how they acted during filming? Were YOU there? Didn’t think so. Good lord. I would trust Steve’s insider information more than what the viewer simply “thinks” they know about a person or the couple just by watching them on a weekly basis.

Comment: Comes with the territory. I don’t let it affect me. But I certainly like pointing it out when it does happen. Maybe I’ll save someone some day. You never know.


Comment and question for you.

I have been reading your site for quite a while now and find it much more enjoyable watching the shows with your comments in my mind (also I can fast forward through a lot of the boring stuff). A friend of mine only watches the shows and never reads the spoilers. So we always have some interesting conversations. A few years ago she challenged me to watch the show without spoilers and I agreed to watch Kaitlyn’s season with no spoilers. Though I did check your site in the very beginning to make sure it was Kaitlyn and not Britt! So I watched the first couple of episodes with no spoilers and then they showed the season preview….I had to know what happened! So I spent the next 3 hours reading all the spoilers from your site….and I haven’t gone back to a spoiler free season. Much thanks!

I know that you spoil the Bachelor shows as your job and for our benefit. I was wondering for any competition shows that you enjoy watching as a viewer do you want to know the spoilers? I was wondering this because I know that you like the Challenge shows and a new season has just started. So I had to google the spoilers for myself (since there is no nice site like yours for it and I had to know if CT takes this one) and wondering if you do the same or if you just enjoy watching as it happens?


Comment: Absolutely not. This is the only show I read/know the spoilers to, because the “prize” at the end is ultimately a failed engagement. Shows like “Survivor” and the “Challenge” that I watch are real prizes they’re fighting for, and reading who wins would completely kill the suspense on those shows because you’d see the narrative coming a mile away. On this show it doesn’t matter to me because it’s not supposed to be suspenseful.

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