-CH in da’ house to let the girls know what the lowdown is. But unbelievably enough, he didn’t give them the lay of the land for this episode. Usually he tells them how many dates, roses will be given out, impresses them with his remedial math skills, then disappears til the last 10 minutes of the episode. This time he just dropped off one date card and peace’d the f**k out. Card was for Becca and it said “Hold on tight.” To what? Her dignity? His peen? Her 15 minutes before the breakup? Please, you need to be a little more descriptive with these cards. The Son of the 2 Time Indy 500 winner comes and picks Becca up on a motorcycle and they take off. Some of the girls back at the house are talking about how cool that would be until Debbie Downer Krystal chimes in it’s not a date she’d like because people die and lose limbs on motorcycles at times. Good Lord. When were you named Captain of the No Fun Police?
-These two meet up with designer Rachel Zoe who gives Becca a sh** ton of dresses and a pair of Louboutin’s to boot. Although I’m sure every woman watching fangirled over Becca being given a free pair of Louby’s, but did you see those things? If she kicked someone in the nuts, those spikes would poke holes in scrotums. Ouch. Those looked dangerous. But hey, what do I know? Women are losing their minds over those shoes. And then to put a little icing on the cake, some dude drops by and gives her thousands of dollars worth of ice for the date to go along with everything else. Arie is basically Richard Gere in “Pretty Woman” at this point. Minus the whole gerbil thing. In a rare date sequence, Becca actually gets to go back to the mansion to show off all her new clothes, shoes, and jewelry before heading out for the night portion. Geez. If that wasn’t some salt rubbing by producers, I don’t know what was. “Ladiez, you can’t have this, and now I’m off for the night portion of my date. Toodles.” Savage.
-These two arrive for the night portion of their date, and I’m sorry, but Becca tried on numerous dresses that Rachel Zoe gave her and we saw quite a few of them. Honestly, Not Peter chose the worst one. I think there were better options than something that looked like she fell into a pit of metallic fabric and couldn’t escape. Didn’t like the dress, AT ALL. Thought there were better options. Not Becca’s fault. Their conversation at dinner was pretty generic. A lot of “family is important to me” stuff, which we hear time and time again on this show. I mean, do we honestly expect someone to say, “Yeah, it’s great you’re close to your family and all, but, I hate mine. Worst people ever. Just looking to get away from them.” Of course not. Krystal’s date up next we get a different vibe because she grew up differently than say Becca did, but saying you like your family on a first date, especially on this show, doesn’t make you any better or worse than anyone else since we’ve heard it repeatedly for 35 seasons now. Lets not make more of their connection because they both value family now, people. I’ll say it all season: I feel sorry for Becca.
-The date card arrives back at the house, and it’s for Krystal. “Home is where the heart is.” She’s super excited for this since now she’ll get to tell him all about her awful home life that’s 180 degrees opposite of his. And for the girl who already seems to be slightly rubbing other girls in the house the wrong way, there’s probably a reason she was given this date. These producers aren’t dumb. They know exactly which dates will start the drama in the house. This wasn’t some random choice, or even one made by Second Fiddle either. This was a strictly a decision by production that THAT particular girl gets THAT particular date. Because they knew it was going to play out post-date exactly like it did. Of course, there was a little producer prodding to go along with it, but I think they knew exactly what they had when they cast Krystal, and they played it up to its fullest extent.
-Back to Becca and her Prince Charming and here’s where we get the foreshadowing coming in. Becca: “My most serious relationship…on and off for 7 years…he was there when my dad passed away.” Gee, where did you hear last week that the ex who shows up at the end of the season was Becca’s on and off ex of 7 years? Anyone? Anyone? Sorry I couldn’t boost your IG following Ross, but hey, maybe as we get closer to the finale and the ex arriving gets more and more play, people will start hitting you up. Knowing what we know happens in the finale, you knew at some point this season Becca would have to reference this ex or else him showing up later really wouldn’t be as big of a deal. What made this guy think proposing was gonna be a good idea, I have no idea. Obviously he was urged to by producers, but yeah, I gotta imagine he’s regretting that decision now. Just looks bad. Oh well. You know what they say. Nobody puts Ross Jirgl in a corner.
crushonspivey
January 9, 2018 at 12:52 PM
Thanks for the recap. Seen neither episode so far, just want to read the mockfest. My SO thinks Arie is super icky and has no desire to watch this year, so the recaps are it for it. And as RS said, seems they are sticking to the formula, and the girls are buying into it as well.
Wish they would mix it up. Seriously. 2 leads. Dates with each. Do it for 4 episodes then let the girls pick who stays, and let the natural competition be what causes the drama, not the contrived fake crap we see.
tinyred500
January 9, 2018 at 3:20 PM
I hope to start watching the intro. to Arie and the 1st episode at the weekend. I have at last found an app that allows me to (almost) keep up episode by episode with what’s showing in America now, here in the UK. We currently have Ben H’s series showing in the UK.
I like the idea of two leads and each staying for a few episodes and then letting the girls choose who stays, it’s one idea that I’d thought about too.
Bachelor in Paradise as silly as it is, is less formal, and I think The Bachelor could benefit with it being more light hearted, with more off camera time, and giving options for the hideously sleazy overnight dates (e.g. for those not wanting to completely throw their reputations under a bus) and reintroduce the promise ring…they might get a higher success rate with the couples, but I doubt it! Seriously, they could make radical changes to the format. Mixing it up, making it A LOT less fake and guessable etc, would breathe some new life into this very stale format. It’s got boring because we know the format and people turn off when they are bored.
ladyjane747
January 9, 2018 at 6:34 PM
Kind of a boring episode; I had to fast forward through the “Cinderella” date. I’m sure Arie is watching Bibiana right now and thinking he dodged a bullet on that one. Her actions and language make her so unattractive. Bekka bugs me and that picture up there with the hairy pits does nothing to change that. So many blondes who look identical.
dclyde15
January 10, 2018 at 9:11 AM
I loved the nicknames! That “robot roll call” of girls he gave roses to had me laughing at my desk. Hope that becomes a recurring feature.
rob22
January 10, 2018 at 1:10 PM
I don’t really see an attraction between Arie and anyone. Even the Becca date was all pre-arranged to be “special”. And, wow, she gets to keep the ear rings. I laughed when that came out. It seems to me that Arie got with the producers and pre-selected his winner. It doesn’t feel organic at all. Becca is fine, and all, but it doesn’t seem real. Arie is just so emotionless and pre-scripted in every. Single. Scene. I presume that’s why the comment above “robot roll call” was made (excuse me if it was on the show and I slept through it). I couldn’t agree more. The guy is sleep walking through this season like nobody since Huan Pah-blow. Which reminds me. I need a nickname for Arie. Think. Think. Think.