-Debbie Downer’s turn to grace us with all her tear jerking stories and ripping the fun out of this episode. I hope you’re all ready. He takes her on a private jet back home to Scottsdale so he can show her the Pizza Hut he worked at, where he went to high school, and pictures of him growing up. All this needed was him presenting her with his letterman’s jacket and the date would’ve been complete. Dude, you’re 36. Enough with the trips around the high school that you haven’t attended in 20 years. I can’t imagine she’s impressed by that. At this point you’re half expecting him to whip out his yearbook and show her how cool he was. Or maybe take her dirt biking before he took Becca post show. Or better yet, you know what he should’ve done to give Krystal a glimpse of what his life is like in Scottsdale? Take her to Courtney’s house. He’s surely spent an awful lot of time there. Why not?
-I guess Courtney was preoccupied or whatever, so he took her to his parents place to meet his dad, mom, brother, and sister-in-law. Arie Sr. is really not interested in Krystal since he’s seen his son bring women around for years, none of which stay more than a hot minute. But they chat it up like they care, Krystal has perma smile going and everything is rainbows and unicorns. His brother says he’s always looked up to Arie and that he’s a great big brother. Probably because he scored him some booze when he could. And maybe some girls. I wonder if his parents were the least bit bothered at all by the fact that Krystal visited their house with a frog in her throat. Now, her voice has been a huge topic for two episodes. However, if you saw her IG story last night, she admitted she lost her voice for 3 weeks during filming, and when you listen to her talk now, she definitely doesn’t sound like she did on the show. So she’s not lying when she said she was sick and now I have to take back what I said about wanting to shoot myself listening to that voice. She also made sure you all knew she has a fitness class you can still sign up for online on Jan. 22nd. So subtle.
-The date card arrived, and it’s the last we see of Becca the rest of the episode saying or doing anything. She reads the 15 girls who will be going on the date: Maquel, Marikh, Tia, Valerie, Annaliese, Lauren G., Kendall, Bekah, Jenny, Seinne, Jenna, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana, and Chelsea. Maybe 5 of the those girls you even recognize by their name at this point from something they’ve said or done. The rest? Just there. Hell, even after tonight, with 18 girls left, plenty still with little to zero screen time and already people are wondering who the hell are some of them? Jenna? Besides her crazy eyebrow game, what’s her deal? Marikh has done nothing. Maquel since her intro video hasn’t had an ITM in two episodes I don’t think. Then again, this is the same pattern they usually do every season. Always focus on certain people early who won’t last but cause drama. We got plenty of that last night. Her name is spelled B-I-B-I-A-N-A.
-Krystal and the Bridesmaid discuss her family life over dinner and she tells him, well, hers kinda sucks. She grew up in a less traditional sense than him. Her parents divorced young, her dad wasn’t a part of her life, her mom was emotionally unavailable, she felt her parents didn’t want her, and she had to care for her little brother. A year and a half ago, her brother called from the hospital, he’d been attacked because he was living on the streets. Obviously a sad story and you don’t wish that upon anyone. But just like it’s ok to be a fan of someone but still be objective about them, it’s ok to feel sorry Krystal and her backstory, but still not be feeling her this episode. There’s just something a bit off. Plenty of you have said she gives off the Britt vibe, which I can see. It’s just, people who are “on” like that ALL. THE. TIME, it can certainly be perceived as insincere. And I think you’re seeing that’s what the other girls are seeing. Krystal gets the rose, and don’t think for a second she feels safe with it.

crushonspivey
January 9, 2018 at 12:52 PM
Thanks for the recap. Seen neither episode so far, just want to read the mockfest. My SO thinks Arie is super icky and has no desire to watch this year, so the recaps are it for it. And as RS said, seems they are sticking to the formula, and the girls are buying into it as well.
Wish they would mix it up. Seriously. 2 leads. Dates with each. Do it for 4 episodes then let the girls pick who stays, and let the natural competition be what causes the drama, not the contrived fake crap we see.
tinyred500
January 9, 2018 at 3:20 PM
I hope to start watching the intro. to Arie and the 1st episode at the weekend. I have at last found an app that allows me to (almost) keep up episode by episode with what’s showing in America now, here in the UK. We currently have Ben H’s series showing in the UK.
I like the idea of two leads and each staying for a few episodes and then letting the girls choose who stays, it’s one idea that I’d thought about too.
Bachelor in Paradise as silly as it is, is less formal, and I think The Bachelor could benefit with it being more light hearted, with more off camera time, and giving options for the hideously sleazy overnight dates (e.g. for those not wanting to completely throw their reputations under a bus) and reintroduce the promise ring…they might get a higher success rate with the couples, but I doubt it! Seriously, they could make radical changes to the format. Mixing it up, making it A LOT less fake and guessable etc, would breathe some new life into this very stale format. It’s got boring because we know the format and people turn off when they are bored.
ladyjane747
January 9, 2018 at 6:34 PM
Kind of a boring episode; I had to fast forward through the “Cinderella” date. I’m sure Arie is watching Bibiana right now and thinking he dodged a bullet on that one. Her actions and language make her so unattractive. Bekka bugs me and that picture up there with the hairy pits does nothing to change that. So many blondes who look identical.
dclyde15
January 10, 2018 at 9:11 AM
I loved the nicknames! That “robot roll call” of girls he gave roses to had me laughing at my desk. Hope that becomes a recurring feature.
rob22
January 10, 2018 at 1:10 PM
I don’t really see an attraction between Arie and anyone. Even the Becca date was all pre-arranged to be “special”. And, wow, she gets to keep the ear rings. I laughed when that came out. It seems to me that Arie got with the producers and pre-selected his winner. It doesn’t feel organic at all. Becca is fine, and all, but it doesn’t seem real. Arie is just so emotionless and pre-scripted in every. Single. Scene. I presume that’s why the comment above “robot roll call” was made (excuse me if it was on the show and I slept through it). I couldn’t agree more. The guy is sleep walking through this season like nobody since Huan Pah-blow. Which reminds me. I need a nickname for Arie. Think. Think. Think.