Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 14 - Becca

The “Bachelorette” Episode 5 Recap, Garrett’s Wedding Video, “The Proposal” & Summer Tour Stop #3 Next Weekend

-That brings us to the cocktail party before the rose ceremony, which in this case should be called “The One Where Chris Shoots Himself in the Foot 1000 Times.” Where do we even begin? The first thing Chris said to Becca when he got time and sat down with her was “You owe me like 50,000 kisses.” Really? She owes you? Oh Chris, you’ve got a lot to learn. If you’re trying to win a girl over, the last thing you need to do is tell her that. You could tell immediately that Becca would’ve preferred to kick him in the nuts at that point rather than sit there and continue to talk to him. I admire her patience as she basically eviscerated him and took away his manhood by telling him, “You didn’t take the time to come see me.” No, he didn’t. Whether it was because he was told not to, she can only go off what happened that night, and Chris waited while every other guy got their turn. Chris thinking he was owed something was a huge mistake. Kinda like his gelled hair and beard.

-The Chris and Wills confrontation was pretty comical. Knowing he’d basically just sh** the bed during his time with Becca and got the complete opposite reaction he was hoping for, Chris wanted more time with her. So he interrupts Wills and says he’d like to talk to Becca again. Wills said they just sat down. Chris just needs some time. Wills relents and says “2 minutes.” Chris starts talking, Wills comes back, Chris says that’s only been a minute, and I begin to start peeling skin off my face. Back and forth these two go with one telling the other they’re being disrespectful. Becca pulls the power play here and tells Chris, “I will come find you later” (which she did). But even in that moment after Becca says this, Chris still won’t leave and is begging Wills for a little more time. I’m sure Becca knew at this point it wasn’t lasting with Chris, but, it was also obvious at this point that Chris was going to get the last rose of the evening. Chris couldn’t have handled that situation any worse if he tried, he made other guys (in particular Wills) look way better, and in this game, you’re basically toast if that happens.

-When Becca did follow through on her word and pull Chris aside later, Chris can’t stop gushing again about how much he likes her and is there for her, to which Becca has the perfect response, “Then why were you so quick to jump ship?” Boom. Roasted. Go back to NKOTB, son. She just put you in your place. Oh sure, Chris tried to talk his way out of that one saying that’s what he felt “in the moment,” but that was the old Chris. This is the new Chris. And Becca looks just as disgusted with him after that conversation than either of the ones from earlier. Chris starts crying in his ITM figuring he’s going home, and we all get a good laugh and a lesson on how not to act on this show when things don’t go your way. Like, that was one of the most poorly handled situations I’ve ever seen a guy on this show act on. One mistake after another. It’s like he was reading from the Juan Pablo Handbook on how what not to say to women. Good luck, Chris. You’ll need it.

-Rose ceremony time. Colton and Blake safe with roses. Becca: “I know tonight has had its ups and downs…after going through conversations…relationships tested…gained the clarity needed to make a decision…and if someone wants to chuck Chris in the pool right after this, I can’t say I’d stop you and I can’t say I’d laugh my ass off…”

Garrett: Do we get another Chris Farley impression from him this season?
Jason: Do we know if he and Chris share hair product?
Wills: Do we know why he wears a romp-him on a nationally televised show watched by 6 million people a week?
Lincoln: Do we know why he hasn’t been edited out of every scene for the rest of the season?
Leo: Do we know if he tells Becca on his 1-on-1 next week that he’d totally give up his soft porn career for her?
Connor: Do we know why he’s still on the show?

“Becca, gentleman, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’ve got nothing else to offer in Vegas since this is the first time you’ve seen me since you arrived. I’ve been playing golf at Steve Wynn’s course but bummed by buddy Ben Higgins couldn’t join me. Oh well. Maybe next time.”

Chris: Do we actually have to cheer for one side in the Lincoln/Chris showdown next week, or can we just hope the both of them disappear forever?
Well, Lincoln will hopefully. Chris we have another summer of episodes to watch him work his magic with the ladies.

Next week we’re in Virginia with Jason and Leo getting 1-on-1’s and the “Beccalection” group date where all hell breaks loose between Chris and Lincoln. Yippee. Can’t wait to not cheer for either of them.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.



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