Reality Steve


The “Bachelorette” Becca – Episode 6 Recap, “He Said, She Said” Episode 1 with Ashley Spivey, & Chris Has an Apology

Photo Credit: ABC

So first off, just want to say Happy Birthday to my niece Olivia who turns 14 today, which is crazy to think. Seems like just yesterday she was showing up on my Video blogs with her brother talking about how “Wizards of Waverly Place” was her favorite show. She doesn’t read this so I feel I can share her birthday present publicly. Got her tickets to the Taylor Swift concert here in Dallas in October. She’s going to be so excited. I mean, I guess I’ll have to tag along with her since no one else in the family will want to go. Oh well. Twist my arm why don’t you. Ok fine. So it’s a present both of us can enjoy together. We celebrated her birthday dinner Sunday night at the Melting Pot, and I have a question: What the hell is that? First time I’d been there, and I guess it’s fine if it’s just two people at a table. Maybe 4. We had 8. It was a clusterf**k. 3 skewers each. 4 people to a bowl. 12 skewers in a bowl at one time. All the meats cooking at different times, so everyone having their stopwatches out to see how long to keep their skewers in. Are we just a weird family or if you’ve eaten there, do you bust out the stopwatch as well to know how long your food has been cooking? Just seems like an awful lot of work we the consumer have to do for our food. How about this? I place my order, you cook it, then deliver it to me? I’m not Emeril Lagasse. Just a bizarre experience all around, yet, Olivia loves that place. Oh well. Next year can we try something simpler?

It’s here! The re-booted, re-launched, Season 2 (whatever you want to call it), of the “He Said, She Said” podcast. I did this every month for the last year with Sharleen as my co-host, but she has moved on to do other things as she couldn’t give the time to it anymore (not to mention I think she’ll be starting her own podcast with her husband Andy shortly), so Ashley Spivey is my new co-host. We take your questions on all things relationship/marriage/dating and sex. This will be a monthly podcast you can listen to just like you listen to Thursday’s podcast on the Reality Steve podcast feed. Or you can listen here on the player below. Hope you enjoy, and if you want to be a part of a future episode, email me and we can arrange it to happen.

You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

(EPISODE 1): Ashley joins me to talk about the launch of the new show and how our book reading lists couldn’t be any more different (2:37). Then we’re joined by first caller Laura in DC who shares an intense experience of sexual assault from college that’s shaped her future relationships (14:15). Then Alex in NY is having major issues with her sister-in-law that, well, you’re gonna have to listen to to fully grasp (41:29). Original theme music is provided by Kate Bass and the song is titled “Blink.”

Summer Tour stop #3 happening this weekend in Chicago. Some of you have already responded about Saturday at the Cubs game, so I’ll see you there. Some are just coming to Murphy’s Bleachers before the game. I’m gonna get there early since I’m assuming it’s packed. Can’t reserve a table either, so I guess it’ll just be one giant party in there but I’m sure we’ll find each other. Gonna be there probably by 10 or 10:30 even though they don’t open til 11. Then walk over to the game afterwards and hang out in the bleachers. If you’re still interested in coming to either, just let me know and we’ll find a way to arrange it. I think this is going to be my last stop this summer. I’m beat. Quite possibly will do it again next summer though in different cities. Haven’t decided yet.

One thing I wanted to mention today is how two guys from this season handled their edit completely different. Yesterday I tweeted out this interview with Jordan he did for his local paper, and I just don’t see for the life of me how he thinks this is a good look. Trashing Becca on the way out the door? Calling her boring? You mean the Becca that you were for sure thought you were getting a rose from and WANTED a rose from after she let David go? Saying in the article that you aren’t as self-serving as the show made you out to be, but then immediately follow that with “I can’t walk into a Target at 10 at night without being recognized” and “Wilhelmina modeling agency…is dying to represent me to the max now,” isn’t doing a lot to help your cause. Maybe both of those are true, but when you say you aren’t what the show makes you out to be, and then do the exact thing that the show made you out to be, it’s kinda hard to take serious.

On the flip side, you’ve got Chris who couldn’t have been made to look any worse these last two episodes, we can all agree on that. For sure, I was expecting Chris to take to some social media platform and blame the show/editing/producers…whatever. But in a breath of fresh air, this is what Chris posted last night:

Many times we’re quick to find excuses or avoid taking ownership for our actions. My time on the Bachelorette brought up cringeworthy situations. Now that my journey has concluded and going through the thousands of hate mail, death threats, and negative comments made about my mother. I finally found it within myself to post a response. I’m not mad or upset with any hatred that’s been thrown at me because it’s been a nightmare for me to watch this journey as well. I finally watched the episodes from the eye of a viewer and I understand why all these negative things were said. Just like you, I could barely watch the latest episodes in full without cringing and I’m truly sorry you had to endure that pain alongside with me. I take full responsibility for my actions on the show. I spiraled down and let my emotions get the best of me. To put it best, I failed. Knowing how strong minded I am and to see how weak I was really disappointed me. Yes, I was on a reality tv show and the dynamic is completely different than the real world but no matter what, you still have control. I lost control and it’s something I own up to and send sincerest apologies to my family, friends, and viewers. Seeing this unfold over the past few weeks helped me understand many flaws and imperfections I have that needed to come to surface in order for me to become a better version of myself. Many times in life we’re judged or looked at based on how we respond/react to certain situations and in this case, I dropped the ball, heavily. I lacked emotional intelligence which led to my disrupting behavior that was uncalled for. I was insecure which was unattractive. Thinking I was entitled was not only embarrassing but a disgusting mindset. Now that this journey has come to an end, I can only move forward and learn from my mistakes. I can now say goodbye to this journey knowing there’s a positive in all of this and it’s knowing I can become a better version of myself, which is something I’m extremely grateful for. And to @bkoof I’m extremely sorry. I know you’re not the greatest fan of me at the moment but you’re an incredible person and I’m happy to know you found someone that’s amazing. #ownit

A post shared by Chris Randone (@chrisrandone) on

Again, enough with death threats against a reality TV character. God, are people that psychotic to wish death upon the guy? Look, I understand it’s just words, and it could all be a moot point if he acts like a jack off on Paradise. I’m hearing he doesn’t, so that’s good. Very few people who look horrible on this show ever admit to their mistakes. It’s always someone else’s fault. So props to him for writing that. Yes, actions speak louder than words and time will tell, but again, he didn’t HAVE to write that. But now that it’s out there, he’s set a bar for himself that he now has to follow because those words are now attached to him forever. Good on him and I will always throw props someone’s way when they acknowledge their own faults and own up to their behavior. I think Jordan should take a page from Chris’ book and be a little more humble about things because those two couldn’t have handled how they came across on TV more different if they tried.

Because Chris Lane is a country music singer (and formerly performed on this show during Nick’s 1-on-1 with DLo in Wisconsin), someone thought it’d be a good idea to interview him for his thoughts on the “Bachelor” and if he would ever do it. This was a good laugh. Let me tell you something right now. This is Chris Lane’s dream. He would pay THEM if they would make him the “Bachelor.” He’s obsessed with the girls from this franchise. Like, an unhealthy obsession. To the point where he’s already hooked up with a few of them, hangs out with plenty others, DM’s ones he hasn’t met yet, all while still pining over ones he can’t get enough of, lying his face off to them. This guy is about as big of fraud as there is. Chris, I’ve seen your act. Your “girls” have shown me your DM’s and texts. You better pray to God this show doesn’t cast you as the “Bachelor” because who knows how many more will come forward. I mean, we all remember when LB came on during the Jen Saviano podcast and shared everything that went down with her, right? All while he was still going after Clare? Yeah, best you keep your mouth shut and continue on your way, son.

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  1. supersparklyday

    July 3, 2018 at 9:46 AM

    I think Chris’s Apology Statement was awesome. I hope he sticks to it and shows well in Paradise. Good for him, though; it shows depth.

  2. realitynyc12

    July 3, 2018 at 11:19 AM

    I think any deeply f-ed up person who posts death threats to someone because they didn’t like how they conducted themselves on a reality TV show, needs to be held accountable and have their Instagram accounts suspended systematically, enough of this insanity. Who the f do these ppl think they are to harass these people and write vile things about their mothers, etc. Disgusting. I feel bad for Chris and others having had to deal with that, can’t be easy.
    Its high time Instagram and other social media platforms develop a feature where death threats and similar language gets recognized and accounts from which it came get shut down (and owners IP addresses recorded so they can’t create new ones) Reporting these people isn’t enough, maybe if there are repercussions- these psychos will start to think twice before posting whatever comes to their disturbing empty heads without consequence.

    Great apology by Chris, I think he’ll do fine on paradise. and to be objective, his behavior, while not his finest moments, wasn’t even nearly as bad as some of the other dudes like Jean Blanc, Jordan and “Smooth Criminal Lincoln”, who blatantly lied to make Chris look way worse than he did) So I honestly don’t even think he owes people as deep of an apology for that as he gave but good for him nonetheless, shows a lot of maturity.

  3. corn29

    July 3, 2018 at 11:25 AM

    Becca’s shtick is getting old. How many times does she whine about letting other people dictate her moods?!

    Are there no safe spaces on the Bachelorette get away to? Poor snowflake.

    On three occasions now she’s brought a sour puss face to dates because of things other guys has said or done. I just don’t get why she gives away that kind of power to let other people to affect her moods in such a dramatic manner!

    We get it. It’s a bad date. It’s a bad guy. It happens to thousands of people every day in the dating world.
    You’re not special in that regard. Just move on Becca!

  4. rob22

    July 3, 2018 at 12:53 PM

    A pet peeve of mine is public apologies. All they are good for is gauging how aware the person is that they need to fall on the sword and not make excuses. Sure, the average bozo, especially from a show like this…. but hardly limited to reality TV… tries to somewhat justify their actions, make excuses, or worse, do the “sorry if I offended anyone” thing. So, those people get what they get, because they overtly reveal that they’re not really sorry through their non-apologies. It’s amazing how many people can’t admit they’re wrong and can’t even pretend that they do.

    Chris is in the other category. His apology did take responsibility, and didn’t deflect blame or make excuses. So, I’m not saying that’s bad, but all it means is that somebody grabbed him by the ears and told him what he needed to do if he didn’t want to extend the cycle of hate he’s now experiencing (which is another issue altogether). It doesn’t mean he’s “really sorry”. It doesn’t mean he will actually change something. The whole apology is fairly meaningless. It’s meaningless because, #1, it’s a reality show, he broke no laws, he hurt nobody, and 3 days from now nobody will ever remember who Chris is, much less his apology. But #2, it doesn’t mean that Chris is really sorry and will or even wants to make any changes in his life. Odds are, this is who Chris is and will continue to be. But again, see #1. Nobody will care after the holiday, though they’ll be briefly reminded during MTA. Public apologies are just really dumb. Always.

  5. adelina

    July 3, 2018 at 1:15 PM

    I thought that Chris’ “apology” post was lame given that he posted over and over again what he thought he SHOULD say and then accompanies said apology with a pensive posed picture against a wall. Gimme a break!! Overkill. Dude needs to say something as simple as “sorry I came off as such an a## on the show. Moving on…”

    I’m going to doubt that he received many death threats. Dude just doesn’t have a real strong sense of self – it’s as simple as that.

  6. jlal

    July 3, 2018 at 3:28 PM

    Call me crazy but Wills reminds me of the blond chick that had the real affected voice last season. She tried to say she had a sore throat or some such crap and everyone hated her. His half mast eyelids, voice, and manner remind me of her. Also noticed when Chris was making his last ditch effort he said “…you should feel..”, and “You can feel that way”, good of him to give Becca instructions on how she should and can feel. He also said me and I too many times to count. What a egotistical ahole.

  7. jlal

    July 3, 2018 at 3:29 PM

    One question, what is a DM?

  8. Caroll

    July 3, 2018 at 3:56 PM

    DM is direct message on Twitter. Private message.
    Google it.

  9. jlal

    July 3, 2018 at 4:32 PM

    Thanks Caroll. I’m a Google freak, but had just read it in RS’s recap and just wondered.

  10. elizabeth82

    July 4, 2018 at 9:52 AM

    “Becca is so fired up, even when her schnookie wookie dumpling head walks in the room, she asks if she can excuse herself for 5 minutes to clear her mind of all the nonsense Chris and Lincoln threw at her.” HA!

  11. bearsiren

    July 9, 2018 at 10:54 PM

    Reality Steve needs to stop being such a bitch.

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