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Bachelor In Paradise 5 Spoilers

The “Bachelorette” Becca – Episode 8 Recap, (EXCLUSIVE) Bachelor in Paradise Ending Spoilers, Episode 2 of the “He Said, She Said” Podcast w/ Ashley Spivey, & Men Tell All Tapes This Friday

Photo Credit: ABC

-I’m gonna combine Jason and Blake’s hometown date on this one page because, well, it’s my column and I can. But also for that I don’t really think a hell of a lot happened, and not to mentioned, these were the two most spoiled hometown dates maybe ever in this show’s history in terms of what they did publicly. You go back to the tweets from that day with Jason, you’d already seen all the pictures and videos from them at Anchor Bar, at the ice skating rink, them walking towards the fake house that was rented for his hometown dinner. Remember, Jason lives in Seattle. And his parents now live in South Carolina. Yes, Jason grew up in Buffalo and that’s where his memories are, but when neither you nor your parents currently live there, I guess renting out a house that wasn’t even yours to film in and flying them in just seemed – different. I can’t remember that ever happening before. They’ve shot in a house that the family doesn’t live in before – that’s happened quite a bit. But not in a house in a city that neither the contestant nor the family lived in as far as I know. If someone wants to do the research on this, be my guest. But search back to ALL final 4 contestants in the last, oh I don’t know, 20 seasons, and I think you’ll find for their hometown date, either they visited the city where the contestant currently lived, or the city where that contestants parents currently lived.

-They eat wings together at Anchor Bar and Becca says no ranch on her buffalo wings. I’ll do you one even better, Becca. How about nothing on your wings like me. I know. I need to live a little. But I’m sorry. I don’t do spicy very well. I like my wings naked with no sauces of any kind. I’m weird. I guess I wouldn’t fit in in Buffalo. And Anchor Bar would probably kick me out if I walked in there asking for naked wings with no sauces. Then they went and skated around the ice rink so Jason could show off his hockey playing skills. They made a bet that if he scored on her, he’d have to get a kiss. Can we stop with these “bets” on the show where the loser gets a kiss unless it’s the first night, please? You guys have been kissing since she arrived, and you’re gonna be kissing later. Do we really care that if you score a goal on her you get a kiss? There’s zero suspense in that. Not to mention it looks like you play hockey in a rec league and lets just say Becca is no Marc Andre Fleury in goal standing there helpless.

-For Jason’s family meet up, thank God he didn’t bring half a village to meet her. It’s just his dad Gary, his mom Dale (yeah, had to do a double take on that one as well. I thought they said “Gail.” Nope, it’s Dale. Can’t say I’ve ever heard that name for a woman, but I’m sure one’s out there), his brother Steven and his bro-in-law Billy. His brother Steven had a little fun on Twitter last night. You see this tweet he posted?

Unless he’s getting $40 sent to him every hour for the next couple weeks, what a joke. Not that Steven was some main character on this show or anything, but $40? What’s even the point of paying him anything? How embarrassing.

-You know how they say mom’s ALWAYS know? Here’s what Jason’s mom said to Jason after she spoke with Becca. “I couldn’t read if she was falling for you.” Translation: She’s not falling for you, Jason. And that pretty much summed up Becca’s visit to Buffalo. I’m sure she likes him. But it’s clear her interactions with Blake and Garrett are light years past Jason. However, Jason grabs for a few last straws before he sends Becca off. “When I’m with you, I can’t stop smiling. When I go to bed, I can’t stop thinking of you. When I wake up, I wanna be with you. When I kiss you, I don’t wanna stop kissing you. All that does is tell me one thing…and that one thing is that I’m so insanely, wildly in love with you.” Like all of those things are basically the same, right? Like I never thought he was gonna stop with those. He forgot, “When I’m brushing my teeth, I wish you were brushing yours next to me. When I’m in the shower, I wish you were in there scrubbing my back. When I’m taking a piss…” You get the point. I mean, nice gesture, but it fell kinda flat and went on way too long.

-Next is up Bailey, CO with Blake. They visit Platte Canyon HS where Blake went and is on the Wall of Fame for football with this giant mop of hair. I mean, that’s great and all with a wonderful trip down memory lane, but hey, even I’m on my HS’s Wall of Fame, so is it even really a huge deal? People who take their women back to their HS to show them their pic on the Wall of Fame pretty much confirm that they peaked in HS. I sure did with my athletic career, so it’s ok to admit it and join the club, Blake. Then again, I haven’t taken anyone back to my HS and brought them over to the wall either, soooooo, I win. To make up for his nostalgia tour he took Becca on, he shares the story of how when he was a senior, Platte Canyon HS was unfortunately part of a school shooting in 2006. Unfortunately because we’ve had quite a few of these over the years, I don’t remember this one. Was this major news when it happened? I don’t remember it if it was. Nonetheless, reading up on it, I had no idea any of that happened, and it was horrible for everyone involved. Crazy that he, his sister, and his mom were all there that day. Blake tries to convince Becca that he did have some great memories in high school, and I’m scratching my head to figure out then why is he choosing to tell her about all the sh***y things that happened during that time? After his oversharing last week about his mom finding the man she was going to have an affair with at his high school, he’s doing one hell of a job trying to convince us his high school years were a good time. His mom leaves his dad for his basketball coach and there was a school shooting. Seems like two major crappy memories from high school.

-Anyway, Betty Who? is the surprise performance for Becca in his high school gym and that was exactly my response back the day it was happening, and now. Betty who? I will give her this: she’s a great Pink knock off and can lip sync with the best of them. Oh boy. Now here come all the Betty Who? fanatics. It’s ok, people. Breathe. We’ve seen this time and time again on this show that it’s getting so old, but why do the contestants say, “Oh, I love how so-and-so gave me this surprise.” C’mon Becca. Blake didn’t pick up the phone unbeknownst to producers, dial up Betty Who’s agent, book a concert at his high school, and surprise you all by himself. Here’s how it went: Producers knew Betty Who is your favorite singer and they booked it during Blake’s hometown date. The end.

-At Blake’s parents house, we get more talk of a guy who’s been spurned by his last girlfriend and doesn’t want to be hurt again. Just as I said for Garrett, I’ll say for Blake. We’ve all been hurt or burned in a relationship. All of us. Garrett has a little more leg to stand on in his situation considering he was married to the girl. Blake just apparently got dumped by some heptathlete last year and he’s bummed. But here’s his family yet again reiterating to Becca he’s been through major heartbreak and they’re just being very protective of him. Although they said it’s been two years since he brought someone to Bailey and he dated the heptathlete last year (we saw the pics and video on Twitter), so is that not the girl he’s talking about? Or did he never bring her home? Whatever the case, I think we’re all over every single one of these guys not being able to move on from breakups that happened over a year ago. I’m sure they’re playing it up for cameras because it makes for a better storyline, but it’s getting old.

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