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The Bachelorette 14 - Becca

The “Bachelorette” Becca – Episode 9 Recap, (EXCLUSIVE) “Men Tell All” Spoilers, & an Editing Screw Job

-We begin with a mini tour of Chiang Mai, Thailand as Becca tells us this is one of the romantic places she’s ever been to. Outside of Virginia of course. The most interesting thing she said at the beginning of the episode was that “I’m in love with two men, and falling in love with a third.” Translation: You know the guy I just said I’m falling in love with, not the two I AM in love with? Yeah, that guy’s going home and I just gave it away :14 seconds into the episode. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up in case you didn’t read spoilers or weren’t paying attention, like, at all this season. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to see that her connection with Jason really wasn’t close to hers with Blake and Garrett. Not sure why the outcry last night on social media for Jason, but I guess that’s to be expected. We pretty much get that every season towards the end. And then when she breaks Blake’s heart in two weeks, people will feel sad for him. Same thing every season. It’s a broken record. Like, people will actually get mad at Becca for eliminating him. Or come up with some weird reason with how she acted beforehand only to break up with him. It’s pretty mind boggling.

-Blake is excited to see Becca. “I can’t wait to touch her and kiss her.” Sounds like a weird thing to say, no? I can’t wait to touch her? Just seems that could’ve been phrased better. You know like, “Being that it’s overnight dates week, I can’t wait to have sex with Becca.” Seems less creepy. Once Becca sees Blake, coming off last week’s 4-for-4 of jump and straddles during the greetings with each guy at the hometown date, Becca shows the world that her jump and straddle does not have international boundaries. She will do it anywhere, at any time, in any country. So Blake gets his jump and straddle and he’s one happy puppy. Of course, the second Blake starts thinking of Becca with any other man, even though he knowingly signed up for a show where the female lead dates and makes out with numerous other guys, he starts to get inside his head, talk 1,000 miles per hour to himself, and never looks at the camera.

-Becca tells Blake that before they begin their date, he must know that they are on some sacred ground, and once they cross a certain threshold, they cannot kiss. Well, this makes Blake lose his erection immediately and he’s already over it. I remember this same kinda thing happened in Chris Soules’ season during the overnights in Bali. I think it was at the temple where the rose ceremony was, and there wasn’t any kissing allowed. Yeah, that didn’t work for anyone involved. For 6 weeks up to this point, Blake (and all the other guys for that matter) have essentially been blue balled to the point of death. And NOW he’s being told, “Hey hands off buddy until we get through this silly walk.” I’m guessing he probably wanted to sprint through that thing. I sure would’ve. They did some meditating too which I’m sure had him all fired up. What a crappy date. “Get me to the night portion, will ya!” exclaims Blake. Ok, maybe he just said that in his head. Or in a thought bubble I magically put above him on screen.

-Over dinner, Blake lets Becca know how he’s been feeling on the inside, and it’s basically, “Hey, I didn’t start thinking of you with other dudes until recently and it sucks.” She asks him if the thought of committing to her scares him and he says no. He’s always been one to find a reason to stay, not a reason to go. Which seems like something I’ve seen on a meme before. If not, it probably should be on one. Or something that some girl you follow on Facebook who’s going in and out of relationships, and you know this because she posts about each and every one on her News Feed, posts one that says something similar. The oversharing could stop at any point now on Facebook people. Men, women, everyone. Just quit telling us your life story in your News Feed. I just don’t get it. If you have kids, I get it. But everything else. And the passive aggressive quotes, or the hints at something wrong in your life? It’s obvious you’re screaming for attention and you want a bunch of people to write, “Are you ok?” Never understood that.

-The fantasy suite card has arrived. Blake, do the honors. “Becca and Blake. Hope you had an inspiring day in the ancient city of Chiang Mai. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. I swear Blake, we’ll shut the cameras off, you can rip your mic packs off your back, followed by ripping Becca’s clothes off. She’s finally all yours pal. Have at it.” Needless to say, this didn’t take long to come to mutually decide that this is how they wanted to end the night. And something they’ve done I believe since Kaitlyn’s season (I could be wrong), we now see the morning after the overnight, and I’m sorry, but it’s just kinda awkward to watch. These two lying in bed for the first time post- coitus, and they have to speak about it on camera? Uhhhh, no thanks. Not to mention, Blake’s got a breakfast-in-bed tray on his lap. I could do without these scenes, but it looks like they’re here to stay.

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