Reality Steve


The “Bachelor” Colton – Episode 3 Recap, the Caelynn/Hannah B. Nonsense Going Nowhere, and Ep. #14 of the “He Said, She Said” Podcast with Ashley Spivey

Photo Credit: ABC

-Demi’s favorite person, and resident old on this season, Elyse gets her 1-on-1. They’re going up in a helicopter, something both of them admit to never doing before. And no, the hat with a propeller on it that Colton no doubt had as a kid doesn’t count. Elyse points out the obvious once this date gets going. “I’m 6 years older than him. I need to make sure we’re on the same page moving forward.” Honey, you may be 6 years older than him in age, but you’re about 15 years older in maturity level. I know that every contestant who gets a 1-on-1 is supposed to gush about how great it is, and it’s the best date they’ve ever had, and they’re starting to fall in love, yada yada yada, but it definitely seemed like Elyse was really reaching for something that wasn’t there. I just didn’t see it. But, as I said, contestants are supposed to say how great the date was. I think she was hoping there was this crazy, off-the-charts chemistry with that simpleton, but I highly doubt there was.

-They had their date during the day at an amusement park in San Diego where kids from local charities got to participate, and it was totally bizarre that neither charity got mentioned. I posted about both these charities and where the kids were from the day of the date, so you’re welcome for me bringing awareness to it but not the show that put the kids on. Bizarre. The best part of the date was Colton asking 5 year olds for advice on dating, which seemed way too appropriate. It’s like they’re trolling Colton on his own season and doesn’t even care. Anything for that brand, huh? One of the kids told him their mom won’t let them watch the show. Yeah, probably a good idea. Then again, a 6 year old probably has more experience with the opposite sex than Colton does, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Another one says to win a woman over you gotta buy her cotton candy. If you want her fingers to be sticky (and not in that way), then yes, go that route. But there isn’t a more overrated and gross candy in the world than cotton candy. I’ll fight anyone on this. Come at me bro.

-Colton and Elyse get on a roller coaster and take it all the way to the top where it stops so he can kiss her. I thought there was gonna be a major drop after that (so did Elyse) and it wasn’t even close. Like, put these two on Texas Giant. Or that other big one at Six Flags I’m already forgetting. Then we’ll see what kinda stomach these two have. Of course, I’m guessing Elyse on her application somewhere when asked what her fears were put “roller coasters” and voila! There she is on one. That coaster had the fear factor of the tea cups at Disneyland, but somehow was made out to be a bigger deal than it was. At least Elyse was a good sport about having to share a ride with Colton. I’m sure she would’ve preferred more time with the kiddos asking questions about why she’s dating a guy who isn’t even in her league. I wanted more of that.

-However, when we get to the dinner portion of their date, Elyse is totally convinced that Colton is for her. “I thought the age difference would be an issue, but you’ve changed my mind. You have a focus unlike men your age.” Oh Lord. Please tell me Elyse was just playing nicey nice. Like, she doesn’t really believe that, does she? Of course, they both have charities in common. We all know about Colton’s Legacy Foundation because, well, let’s be honest, it’s one of the main reasons he went on the show in the first place. But Elyse told the heartbreaking story last night of her sister who died after the birth of her second child, and started the Sarah’s Closet charity afterwards, where people can donate any baby items. I believe that is their Facebook page, although doesn’t look like there’s been much action on it in a while. Didn’t realize there was more than one “Sarah’s Closet” out there. Elyse got a rose of course, they got a concert with Tenille Arts where strangers stood around with their phones and watched them dance and kiss. Always incredibly awkward, and this season was no different.



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