Reality Steve

The Bachelor 23 - Colton

The “Bachelor” Colton – Episode 5 Recap, Cassie’s “Other” Show & Her Confusing 1-on-1 Date

Photo Credit: ABC

-We got another Colton video blog the morning after his 1-on-1 with Heather and Elyse eliminating herself. He was just eating something too and it was really bothering me he clearly had something stuck in his teeth somewhere that he was trying to get out without picking it out with his fingers. Please, can not make this a thing anymore? Is that too much to ask? They provide nothing of importance, it’s not organic in the least bit, and they’re unnecessary. Thanks for listening. I’m sure you won’t. Now, this is the point of the show where the “Bachelor” became “Survivor.” The women are brought into the jungles of Thailand and basically asked for fend for themselves for a day. Hunt for water and food, eat bugs, and basically be a “Survivor” contestant for an afternoon. Not the most glorious date, that’s for sure. Hannah B. ate a bug, Nicole grabbed an eel, and Tayshia let a scorpion chill on her arm. However, I have a feeling all three of these women would have their torches snuffed before the merge. Sorry ladies. The tribe has spoken.

-They were split up into three teams of 3. Well, that was according to someone whose math sucked. With 10 women, three teams of 3 leaves one team with four. Hey, no one ever confused these women for being statistics majors. Demi and the two Hannah’s were one team. Katie, Nicole, and Tayshia were another. And Onyeka, Kirpa, Sydney, and Caelynn were the team of four. They had to go out and get their own water and food and bring it back. Ummmm, there was a giant creek with rushing water. How hard was it to gather that? Am I missing something? When Tayshia’s team took off, Colton was with them, and Tayshia made sure she told the other two lemmings, “Hey, go over there and get that stuff and such. Colton and I will be over here looking for other things. Like each others tongues.” And that’s exactly what she did. Well played Tayshia. And zero points for Katie and Nicole for being gullible enough to let that happen.

-Because Demi is the jokester and one who does everything the producers say, her team decided not to slog it out in the jungle, but rather go into town to get some burgers and wine. All Demi’s idea, had no help whatsoever, and she directed everyone what to do. Or the complete opposite. Obviously a bit that was put together by production to play into Demi’s character and it was lame. The end. Again, when things are being done on screen that we know aren’t the ideas of any of the contestants, and just things they go along with, I don’t know how we can think they’re sincere or with good intentions. It’s clear through 5 episodes what Demi’s role is on the show, she’s never given a 1-on-1 throughout the season, Colton has never seemed remotely interested in her romantically, so she’s basically just filler. She’s one spoke in the wheel that is the show, and she’s just getting featured more than others. Just don’t find it the least bit interesting or funny. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

-At the cocktail party, Tayshia takes him down to the beach where he tells her he appreciates her taking this seriously and they make out. So that’s twice they’ve shown Tayshia with Colton making out already this episode on two different occasions, which goes to show the unspoiled audience who he’s into. Whereas you take someone like Kirpa, who’s been around for five episodes, who we’ve yet to see him kiss, interact with, show any interest in, or have any sort of meaningful conversation. Some people just get the short end of the stick when they go on this show. Kirpa is one of them this season, when her most interesting storyline is relegated to “Deleted Scenes” status.

-Hannah B. is up next at the cocktail party and she wants to “show him what love looks like with Hannah.” Ummmm, ok. Colton tells her she’s who he’d want if there were a Zombie Apocalypse and I don’t know if she should take that as a compliment or insult. I’m thinking the latter. Hannah B. then tells Colton she’s falling in love with him. Ahhhh, episode 5 and we have our first “I’m falling in love with you” proclamation. And I’m sorry, but Hannah B. of all people to be the first to say she’s falling in love with him was a perfect example of being in the environment and just saying what you think you’re supposed to say. No one watching last night could honestly say to themselves, “Yeah, I totally see that connection. They’ve been inseparable since her first date.” We’ve seen nothing on Colton’s end for 5 episodes in return to Hannah B. to make us think she’s nothing more than just filler for the show. She laid out her feelings, and he said nothing in return and just kissed her. The unfortunate reality of sometimes of being on the show, but honestly never really having a chance. You can bet she’ll be on Paradise this summer.

-Then there was the Onyeka/Nicole argument which, lets be honest, we’re tired of. Not just them in particular, but this notion of women using their time with the lead to tattle on someone else. Again, we see it EVERY SEASON, and without fail, that person will never end up winning in the end. Ever. I know you’re asking, “Why do women do it then” And my answer, per usual, is that this is a TV show. They just go along with what they’re told out of fear. There’s no chance in hell Onyeka actually thought that telling something to Colton she heard second hand would endear her to him. No way. But she did it anyway, and it was just about the worst game of telephone ever. She tells Colton that before Elyse left, Elyse told her that Nicole her that coming on this show was a way for her to get out of Miami. The best part is Onyeka prefaced the whole thing by saying, “I hate being that person that brings up something to him that he doesn’t want to hear…” Uhhhh, then why did you? Were you THAT threatened by Nicole you wanted to make her look bad? Nicole is another one that’s just filler this season. If she was a front runner, it’d make more sense storyline wise. But Nicole is just there this season. Just an awful look for Onyeka that totally backfired.

-But yet of course, because so many morons take this show so seriously, did you happen to check out Onyeka’s IG last night? Again, some people in this world need their head checked. And it seems like a lot of them are fans who watch this show. The amount of hate and name calling that Onyeka got on her page was embarrassing. Yes, she totally went about things the wrong way last night. Yes, it was an awful look for her and was about as irrelevant of an argument between two people we’ve ever seen. And yes, if anything, say it to Nicole first considering you never even heard it firsthand. Combine all that and yet, it doesn’t equal 1/100th the amount of hate and vitriol she received on her IG last night. Lighten the f**k up, people. Who cares? And will anything happen to those people or their accounts? Of course not. Same sh**, different season.

-Tayshia steps in and says she heard the conversation and Nicole never said anything of the such. Nicole says she’s on the show because she hasn’t been able to find love. Onyeka should’ve just stopped at that point, admitted she should’ve went to Nicole first to ask if that’s what she said, and that would’ve been the end of the argument. But of course, it had to play out the way it did because they needed drama this episode and, well, there you go. So obviously another contrived argument put together by production, because anyone in their right mind in Onyeka’s situation, even if she did hear clear as day from Elyse what Elyse claims Nicole told her, would go straight to Nicole and say, “Look, I heard you said this and that’s not cool,” and they would resolve the issue. And if you’re wonder where in the world the “mentally/emotionally unstable” comment came from, ABC made sure to release this deleted scene from last week before last night’s episode so it had some context:



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