Hi Reality Steve,
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your podcast with Vienna. Jake’s season was the very first season I watched of The Bachelor Franchise. I thought he had a great cast and it’s what hooked me. I will admit I really didn’t care for Vienna at ALL on his season and bought into the editing. Over years of watching (and reading your site) my view of the show has changed dramatically. I have watched it from an entirely different perspective but still enjoy it.
Vienna has always been someone I hoped to hear on your podcast because during her time on Bachelor and Bachelor Pad she was a really polarizing figure. I listened to her on Olivia’s podcast and yours. I found her to be very candid and extremely fair to both the show and Jake, especially considering all she put up with from them. I am happy to hear she is a successful entrepreneur and was able to move past the show.
Moving on from Bachelor world, I really can relate to her story about her miscarriage. I went through something similar about 3 months after she did.
My husband and I have two beautiful children. We decided to expand our family by one more. We struggled to conceive with both our children and it was no different with attempting to conceive a third child. Due to a 10 year age gap between my husband and I, he decided in the summer of 2017 that he wanted to look at getting a vasectomy. I agreed and understood his reasons and it was booked for November of 2017. We decided to roll the dice until his appointment. Wouldn’t you know it…. we conceived that October. We knew three children would be our limit and decided to go ahead with him having the procedure done. Just shy of three weeks after his procedure I lost our baby at 9 weeks. We were both devastated. I couldn’t function after that. I was a wreck and had to take time off work. My husband had to take time off work because he didn’t want me to alone during the day.
I know what Vienna means when she talks about miscarriage being a taboo subject. No one talks about it. There is so much stigma surrounding it and I don’t know why. Too many women grieve in silence. She’s also right when she says it changes you. It has forever changed me. I didn’t know just how badly I wanted another child until I lost the baby. And knowing it’s no longer a possibility for us is equally heart wrenching. Having my two beautiful children and a supportive husband has helped me grieve and slowly begin to heal. I will never be the same and there will always be a void but I know I am lucky and count my blessings each day that I have the family I do.
I guess I am writing you this hoping you will pass it along to Vienna. She’s not alone. I stand with her in her grief. I understand what she has gone through and continues to struggle with. I too have my sad days and I cry and wonder what if. I know how much it hurts. You may think you know and understand this kind of loss but you truly do not unless you have gone through it. I know it’s okay to talk about it and I, like her am opening up about my experience. I am not ashamed of it. I think we should talk about it and seek comfort in each other. I hope one day she is able to realize her dream of becoming a mother. From the sounds of it she will make a great one.
Thank you for all you do with your podcasts. You have really given people a voice and you are an excellent interviewer. You let people tell their stories and are very respectful to your guests. It’s refreshing.
Comment: Really sorry you had to go through that. I can’t begin to imagine what that must’ve been like. Thanks for taking the time to write in.
First of all – thank you as always for the spoilers and updates as always. This season has been a BIG one with more news and information than any other season so far. Excellent job.
A few things I wanted to share:
– While I am certainly not a Luke P fan, I did feel that the ‘Men Tell All” special went out of the way to make him look really terrible and the other men did as well.
We all know that Luke did not handle himself the best at all on this season. He revealed that he has a lot of maturing to do in life and in his journey with his faith, the guys on the stage did not show their best light either.
I think Mike did himself a big disservice with his comment to Luke. In my opinion, I think it hurt his chances to becoming the next bachelor, if there were ever a real shot for him to become so.
I think the guys should have let Luke continue to bury himself with his own actions and comments – they did not need to pile it on.
Come on – Chris Harrison, asked him if he wanted a “trophy wife” – yes or no and he can’t answer the question?
I think Luke is a “Christian Virgin” – meaning he is still learning how to follow the Bible and living in the way of God and living in the real world.
I understand that he and Hannah bonded on this level and that was the draw between them – but Hannah seemed to display a more mature view of her faith, everything is not just black and white. There is room for discussion in your beliefs.
Next Point – Hannah – I was not a fan of Hannah going into this season. I thought she was very young and would just not be a good lead. She proved me wrong. I enjoyed watching her even in her mistakes with Luke. I understood them. She explained that she knew Luke was there for her and that was an immediate draw. When people come on this show to promote themselves or a business or become famous, at least Luke told her and meant it when he said that he was there for her.
She was able to articulate her feelings for the guys and I think we were able to see why she kept Luke so long. She did not need to apologize to America on the MTA. She simply could have explained that she felt Luke was there for her and they also bonded on their common beliefs and morals but once she began to see for himself how Luke choose to show himself to her – she began to see that he was not the one for her and she asked him to leave. Simple. She needed to see that for herself.
Overall, Hannah has been great. Human and real this season.
Production – you have brought this up as well as Olivia ( on her podcast and Sharleen Joynt – I read/listen to them all on this show) – there is no way Luke could show up at the rose ceremony with a ring without Production’s help.
They totally set him up on that – which is kind of sad for Luke. They were hoping for the drama that they got and it was not disappointing. It was “the most dramatic moment in Bachelorette history”. Hannah moving that rose stand and Tyler saying” Or What?” – Bachelor history on that one.
Can’t wait to see the conclusion. Hannah saying goodbye to Windmill Peter (not Pilot Pete anymore). He choosing Jed.
Jed After the Final Rose and Hannah dumping Jed.
Tyler for the next Bachelor? I know you said that you don’t know who it will be yet and they can select anyone and there still is BIP to air so who knows who may come out from there that they may consider.
Back to Colton’s season, I feel that he did not really give Cassie a choice. If she had stuck to her decision to leave after Colton told her that he was going to choose her and that they did not have to be engaged, she would have been the most hated person in the franchise.
A bit different from Luke this season, in that Hannah is the lead and she clearly told Luke that she did not want to be with him – but Hannah did tell Luke to go home already and he ignored her because he felt he knew what was best for her.
Thanks Steve – long time watcher of Bachelor and Bachelorette.
Long time reader of realitysteve and podcast listener.
Comment: Thanks for the email. A lot of good points you made.
A big thank you for the Bachelor in Paradise spoilers, am ready to leave Hannah in the dust and get to the beach! One of your fans wrote in the last batch of e-mails the odd circumstances of Demi and Derek making out in the pool and we know from your spoilers that she is with him two weeks in a row. We also know that Demi had been dating Kristian since early February, which is well documented. So how do Demi and ABC square her hot ‘n heavy make-out sessions with Derek before Kristian gets there and what does it say about Demi’s seriousness in commitment to a five month relationship to her girlfriend? Seems like they’d have to soft-sell her relationship with Kristian to make that work. If I were Kristian I’d think twice about accepting that ring but, of course, she probably knew it was in the script, wink wink.
Another thing, where in trailer park hell does Kristian Haggerty, who touts being an Ordained Christian Minister on her Instagram header, come off going on the raunchiest reality show in prime time network television? I’m no Bible thumper, but those previews in the pre-launch video of her getting her getting french-kissed and dry-humped by Demi in the overnight suite with the full implication that raw sex was just around the corner isn’t a real good look for someone who purports to be an ordained Christian minister. And I’d feel the same if she were with a guy. This loosey-goosey anything goes approach to Christianity is the polar opposite of Luke’s rigid obsession. Was the lure of getting famous on social media riding Demi’s coattails just too strong? Does she just totally lack a sense of self-awareness or am I so behind the times that I’m missing something here?
Finally, have you ever seen so many dudes weeping on a BIP season? Looks like we’re in for a hell of a ride. Thanks again for all you do!
Comment: I have no background on Kristian whatsoever other than she was living with Catherine from Colton’s season, and that’s how Demi met her. But they were definitely a couple before Demi left to go film. It was all planned in advance. So the stuff with Derek I guess was just to throw people off for a couple episodes.
Now that Wells is engaged to Sarah Hyland, Nick Viall and Rachel Bilson are hanging out, and Gigi Hadid started to follow Tyler C. on instagram, do you think MANY more men are going to start competing to be on the show, pretending to look for love but really looking for actresses and models post-show? Are Nick and Rachel hanging out now? I thought she just went on his podcast. Gigi follows Tyler and that means something? I guess I don’t look into that stuff as much as you did.
It was worthwhile enough before, when they got lots of female attention for being on the show and that alone made it worthwhile (the girls seemed to mainly just get lots of instagram promotional work, but the guys literally had to beat groupies off with a stick if they were good-looking and popular on their season). Now that the show is bringing them to the attention of actresses and super models, I have a feeling many, many more men are suddenly going to be vying for a spot and lying their way to the top four on their respective seasons.
I know the men in Hollywood tend to be dogs, but I don’t know that these men on the Bachelorette are any more honest or faithful, so I feel like celebrity females who are turning their attention to Bachelorette contestants are going to be disappointed if they think they are going to find better men there. (remember Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ben Flajnik? He was lucky to catch her eye, yet his head became so big he wanted more). What do you think of this new trend??
Comment: This will always be a thing that guys will go on this show and lie and do what they have to to last as long as they can. Everyone knows the more popular you become from the show, the more attention you get. Nothing new there at all. It’s going to happen for every foreseeable future season. It just is. That’s why a majority of the people go on the show in the first place.
I’ve never emailed you before, but I’ve been a daily follower of your content. I started following the Bachelor/Bachelorette during Emily Maynard’s season, and I ironically discovered your spoilers during Des’ season. Even though that was the one season ending you got wrong, I got hooked to your site.
Anyways, I’ve never emailed before because people usually ask the questions I have, but one question has been bothering me. I know that there are contracts, but why can’t Jed deny or admit to the girlfriend situation before ATFR? I know he’s “still on” the show, but he could address it without giving away show spoilers. I know he’s guilty, so I suppose it’s for that reason. An innocent person could deny it right away with proof.
Comment: I’m answering for Jed here, but I’m guessing his answer will be that he came back from filming and was too scared to say anything because he’s contractually obligated not to talk about the show once you’re back. Sure, people tell their family stuff, but Haley wasn’t family. So I guess he figured it’d be best to avoid her rather than say something. He can’t tell her he’s engaged because that’d be giving away the show. But he could’ve at least said something, and he didn’t. That was his big mistake. And oh yeah, downplaying that relationship to Hannah.
I’m another fan from New Zealand that loves reading your spoilers! First time emailer so hopefully it makes it on your last week of spoilers! I’ve watched Bachelor /Bachelorette on and off since it began and stumbled upon your spoilers during Arie’s season and have been reading since!
A few quick questions:
1. Sorry if you have shared this in the past but curious to know how did you get into spoiling the show? What got you to do it and why do you do it? I think if you google any old interview I’ve done, it’s in there. This is something I’ve covered many times, but since you’re from New Zealand, I’ll cut you some slack. At the top of the page, one of the links says “Press.” Those are all links to interviews I’ve done. It’s definitely in one of those.
2. Do you think ABC follows you or believes you because every time you mention something it seems to be out there not long after for example your friend last season said Hannah B would be a contender for the Bachelorette and you agreed and sure enough she was. They absolutely follow me and read everything I say, along with listen to all of my podcasts.
3. I know you don’t share your Intel but I’m amazed that you have such awesome sources, are they always the same people or different people giving you information? The number of sources I have has probably reached triple digits by now. Hence the reason there’s not a whole hell of a lot the show can do.
4. Lastly, what do you do when Paradise is over and you don’t have much to spoil until the next Bachelor?
Again, thanks so much for the spoilers. It’s such a good read on the ride to work.
Comment: Well, the next “Bachelor” will start filming about a week or 10 days after the last Paradise episode airs. So the cycle begins again. The only two times during the calendar year where there is not Bachelor programming either filming or airing, are the two weeks between “Bachelorette” ending filming and beginning airing (except this season which was about 3 days), and the end of “Bachelor” filming before Thanksgiving through first episode airing first Monday in Jan, which is about 6 weeks. So basically there’s only about 2 months a year total where I’m not either recapping the show or spoiling it in real time.
Do you think Jared has Stockholm Syndrome??
Comment: I have no idea what you’re getting at with this.
Hi Steve, You’ll be glad to know I’m not writing anything about this season! I’m not gonna ask “who’s the next bachelor” or “are Tyler and Hannah together?” Or any other of the questions you’ve had on repeat this year. Cuz seriously people read his columns before you ask something he’s answered a thousand times before!
I know you don’t listen to other bachelor podcasts. I highly recommend Kaitlyn’s recent one with Whitney Bischoff. I think it’s the most she’s ever talked about her time on the show and her relationship with Chris Soules. She talks about how difficult the post show comments were on her. People might not remember but she was torn apart for her speaking voice. Than there were a ton of comments that he clearly wanted to pick Becca over her. She went on to say how much dancing with the stars sucked because the producers chose another Witney as his partner. She also said she was never comfortable selling products post show and chose to do very little. She’s always been a favorite of mine because of the classy way she acted on and post show. I’ve hoped you’d interview her but I think she’s moved on and probably hasn’t been interested.I was one of the ones reporting about Whitney’s voice. In hindsight, probably could’ve gone a little lighter on her, but I know that’s not something she can control. But it was very high pitchy and just pointing it out. I figured once she got married and had a kid, re-living this show is not something she would’ve ever been interested in doing.
It made me think back to his season and how much it changed the show. I mean Kaitlyn, Jade, Ashley I, Carly, and Becca make a living from being alumni of the show. Now that’s standard but that was kind of the beginning. The show will never be the same.
On a completely different topic – Evan Smith from temptation island. I follow him and a few other cast members post show on social media. I’ve never been a big fan of his. I take him at his word that he and Morgan fell in love and I wish them the best. But I also think he treated Kaci horrible. I’ve come to that based on the show and some post interviews between the two. One thing that came up post show was he wasn’t working when Kaci was approached for them to be on it. Supposedly he did a little personal training but mostly he avoided looking for work and Kaci paid their bills. I think he always knew the opportunities that could come from being on a reality show and jumped at it. I think you even said it was obvious post show he was never gonna marry her. He and Morgan were also vocal post show they were very interested in pursuing other reality shows. I think so far nothing has come their way but I’m sure something will. Now in the last week or so it’s clear he’s been buying followers on Instagram. His numbers jumped from around 60,000 to over 200,000. And you can tell from comments that they were clearly bought. We’ve seen thirsty people from the bachelor franchise but I don’t ever remember someone buying followers like this!! I’ve unfollowed him now and think he should be called out! Again good luck to him and Morgan but I’m team Kaci for ever. I think it’s pretty clear who was the classy one in that relationship.
Comment: Well, I haven’t seen or heard a thing Evan or Morgan have done post show, so his online activity is news to me. I don’t have anything against the guy. I’m just glad Evan and Kaci are no longer together. Wasn’t good for either of them. If he’s happy with Morgan, good on them. I know Kaci is happy now, so they’re both in better places. Which I guess is the ultimate goal of what they went on that show for.
Love everything you do! Quick question: do you know the real reason why Chris Harrison isn’t attending Ashley’s wedding? He says it’s a scheduling conflict but it sounds like this just came up recently and he’s had quite awhile to know about the date. Thanks!
Comment: No idea.
I saw you ask in a recent column whether the big brother cast members are always this unlikable and the answer is no, definitely not. I’m disappointed that this is the first season your watching because this season is complete garbage. My first season I’ve watched was 12 and I can honestly say I’ve never been so bored. They might as well just hand Jackson or Jack the money now, they’re running the whole game and everyone is letting them. I wish Holly would get away from Jackson and play her own game. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll never watch again after this season, and I don’t blame you, I just wish your first season was better and maybe you’d start watching. Just because I enjoy your recaps. I really hope Jack or Jackson don’t win. I don’t think they’d be a popular pick. I can see them not getting many votes in the finals. Other people are more likable that can get there. One being Holly. Especially if she forms that two person alliance with Kat and ditches Jackson eventually.
Also, to the person who was asking about continuing 90210 after High School…..you’re just getting to the good part! The college years are the best!!! Keep watching for sure. I’m also team Kelly/Dylan. Brenda drives me crazy and I thought the show was better without her.
Comment: For sure. Obviously, it’s completely subjective, but I’ll always be a Kelly fan over Brenda. Brenda was just never my cup of tea. Always whining and complaining about something. And did a terrible French accent.
Not sure you will even see this since I imagine you get a ton of emails. I’m really, honestly curious about something and your opinion on it. I need to first admit that I have NEVER watched either The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. This season, I was intrigued when news popped up regarding Jed Wyatt and the girlfriend. Mainly b/c stories of people ghosting others just intrigue me in general. How can someone do that to someone they’ve had a relationship with? It’s just such an awful thing to do to another person that you invested time, friendship and even more with that it always baffles me. This story even prompted me to sit down and have a discussion with my teenage son about how to end things when he is in a relationship and to always be sure to actually end it- and if at all possible in person, not by text, email or over the phone.
The question I have for you is this – now that we know two men on this show were involved with women at some point in the months before being on the show(and more importantly AFTER throwing their name in the ring for the show) is the fact that this was the case with two of the top 3 an issue with the producers not doing their job and Hannah assuming that contestants are well vetted? Or does it speak to her ability to read people and understand what she really wants/needs from someone and being able to pick someone that would be a good long-term match? I’m honestly curious about your take on this. It seems really awful if the premise is that the show’s producers have carefully vetted all contestants and none of these things should be an issue moving forward? You can only vet up to a certain point with background checks. They can’t possibly keep track of who every guy is dating pre-show. Impossible. Or woman for that matter. Stuff like that is always going to get out, every season, and people are just gonna have to accept that. And honestly, the producers don’t care. The numbers that episode last night will pull, and the numbers they pulled this season are better than last seasons by a good margin. People are going to watch regardless.
What these men did were really awful but for completely different reasons. Jed b/c really it was dishonest of him with Hannah, but the truth is he could have changed his mind and went in with one attitude and then been surprised by his feelings, etc. He was honest with the other woman from the start about applying to be on the show, but to not even call or get a message to her at the point where things changed for him or as soon as he got back – that’s just disrespectful, rude and honestly at that point it’s good if Hannah really did completely end things because how could you ever trust him if he could treat someone he at one point did love so incredibly callously?
The Peter thing is awful in a whole other way. If I have the timeline right he applied after he was involved with her and she thought things were serious and progressing and he obviously didn’t feel the same and most likely had an expiration date on that relationship from the start and that’s just dishonest and wasting someone else’s time. He’s saying no. I just can’t take him at his word unfortunately.
I just can’t figure out though how three of her top four seem to have been terrible men. I know there are those who will defend Luke P or try and blame it on editing, but really it seems like from what I’ve read it was clear to many all along he wasn’t a good choice and then two of the other four had made some really poor choices just before being on the show that really speak to their characters. Were these truly the best of those on the show this season? Or is it her relying on proper vetting by producers? Or her just being poor at truly evaluating the character of those she is seeking to make a life partner?
Obviously, you have watched a lot of these shows so I’m really REALLY curious about your take on this season and what happened.
Comment: I think you have to understand, and you’re new to this so you’ll be hearing this for the first time even though I’ve said a gazillion. It’s a TV show. They don’t care about the lead finding their happy ending. If they do, great. They are there to put on an entertaining TV show first and foremost. Feelings of the contestants and the lead are secondary. They will throw someone under the bus, they will lie, manipulate, and deceive at any chance they get if they know it’ll be compelling television.
I emailed you last week about the show not addressing a guy that left. I should’ve been more specific but he was asked to leave based on a part of his past that was brought to light. I want to say his name was Tyler? I’m pretty shocked it hasn’t been addressed since this franchise loves a good scandal for ratings. Do you know why he left? Yes, but it’s unfounded stuff where the women didn’t attach their names to it nor come forward. But what they said wasn’t great, so the show got out in front of it and let him go because it was best for the show at that point.
After watching everything go down, I can’t understand even a little why Hannah chose Jed over Tyler. Tyler’s vision of his future was his life with Hannah and baseball practice with their kids. Jed’s future on his own was so uncertain, which is a red flag if you’re going to be engaged and planning a life together. Hannah wants to get married and have kids right away so I just can’t understand why she saw that kind of future with Jed, not Tyler. No question there other than “Wtf??”
Side note: Hannah’s dad sounds better just speaking than Jed sounds singing.
Comment: I don’t think anyone understands what she saw in Jed during filming, regardless of the stuff that came out post-show. Plenty of people feel your sentiment.