Hi Steve,
I have a few questions for you if you don’t mind.
1) Do you think the producers want Peter as The Bachelor? It seems like former contestants keep on trying to root for him and say things like, “Peter wasn’t like Jed. He went on the show single”. Are people who work on The Bachelor telling former contestant to talk about Peter being the next Bachelor? It sure does seem like it. He’s certainly in contention.
2) This isn’t really a question, more of an opinion. I don’t think Mike should be the next Bachelor. I don’t think he should get it just because he’s black and they haven’t had a black one. However, I will say if they don’t pick him, then I don’t think they will pick one. Does that make sense? I personally don’t think they should go with anyone from Hannah’s season. I’m not sure who they should pick, but someone else. I mean, I see what you’re saying, but lets say they don’t pick Peter or Mike. And they aren’t going outside the franchise considering they haven’t for 24 seasons and running now. So who would it possibly be?
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Hi!
I have a bit of a different question unrelated to the finale.
How do you decide what to spoil on twitter vs your site? Obviously you are making money off of site views and most bloggers (not that I consider you a “blogger” but you make a living off of site traffic) only announce big things on their site to make money yet you seem to post a lot of things on twitter. While I enjoy not having to wait for you to post on your site every week and being able to see things in real time on twitter… what drives you to tweet instead of make a blog post about it? That’s because some stuff doesn’t make sense posting a day later on my site. Yeah, I make $0 off Twitter, yet, I have no problem spoiling things there. It’s just about getting info out as soon as possible. If it’s just pics of a date or a location they’re headed, I’m fine with tweeting that out. But if it’s something that needs an explanation, like the change in spoiler from Tyler to Jed on June 18th that needed some backstory to lay out everything that went down, then I usually wait til the column.
Also… I see Luke P. follows you on Instagram. I follow Luke P and went to your Instagram and it says “Also followed by……” So no, I didn’t scroll through your followers to find this out. I know the whole “don’t read into social media” thing but has he reached out to you at all?
Comment: Luke P. actually started following me while the season was filming, which obviously was being controlled by someone in his family. Hence the reason you can never put 100% stock into stuff like that when trying to decipher who’s home and who isn’t.
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Hi Steve,
I’ve been watching the show for a long time and it seems like the lead almost always chooses the person that their family disliked (or didn’t prefer) which drives me crazy. Got me wondering if you have any stats on this — how often has the lead chosen the person their family warned them about? Seems like in recent years it must be at least 80 percent of the time or something.
Comment: Yeah, I don’t keep track of that so I wouldn’t know what the stats are, but you’re right, it happens quite a bit. All a misdirection by the show.
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Hi Reality Steve,
I’ve been really enjoying your commentary this season, per usual. I appreciate your interest in having Luke P on the show to discuss his experience, especially being “produced”. I’ve listened to your podcasts with Olivia about that subject and I was a big fan of the show UNREAL, (sidenote, did you watch or like that show?) based on the bachelor franchise. As someone who nerds out about psychology, the idea of being produced is fascinating.
Along these lines, I’m curious if you think/know if production totally re-edited the finale based on the Jed scandal to come after. I was watching last night, trying to challenge myself to imagine if they played all of the Jed scenes with romantic music instead of ominous music. Would it have appeared that Jed had doubts but that Hannah would reassume him soon enough? I think it’s possible. Clearly the producers know how to spin any content. I’m sure some minor things changed once they knew Hannah and Jed were done. That family visit in Greece and showing only the negative about what her family said was probably done on purpose.
Also, I predict that the dog food company that was Jed’s “ big break “ will send you samples, just like Halo ice cream. Because, why not? I hope you have a dog that’s ready for free samples
Comment: That’d be great, but I won’t hold my breath for it.
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Hi Steve,
Regarding Peter: When he put himself forward as a potential participant of The Bachelorette, it was because at that moment in time he had determined that Calee was not the one for him. He broke up with Calee because he had realized this, not because he wanted to go on a TV show. He didn’t have to say: “Calee, I’m breaking up with you because I want to go on the Bachelorette” because that’s not why he broke up with her. All Calee needed to know was Peter was no longer interested in a relationship with her (and he gave her that “closure”). The end. We don’t know the reasoning, and probably never will.. but it all lands at the same place. I don’t agree with Calee coming forward with her “story” because it isn’t an example of Peter being immoral or unethical. It’s just a story of a girl who thought things in her love life was awesome being surprised to find out her boyfriend wasn’t on the same page and basically lashing out months later about it. What was her goal? Make Peter look like a jerk for breaking up with her and reduce his chances of finding happiness elsewhere? Truth is, she ended up looking like the true jerk.Couldn’t disagree more. But I’ve said what I’ve said about this situation enough times. So she’s a jerk? Really? SMH.
I don’t think Hannah owed us or anyone that info about the windmill. That was between her and Peter. Good television, yes, good relationship move, no. I think it’s important for some personal things to remain personal or they become valueless and nothing more than “entertainment” for others (who have no business in your personal life). But to each their own.
I think the biggest challenge Hannah faced on the show was time. The production timeline did not allow for her brain to catch up with her emotions and that bit her in the ass. When your brain and your emotions are on the same page – it’s easier to make a decision. Her emotions were stronger for Jed, so she followed her “heart”, despite red flags and warnings everywhere (especially from her own parents). Same thing happened with Luke. Making decisions based on emotions is something we all do… especially when we’re younger. As we get older, we figure out who we are and exactly what we want out of the people in our lives (both romantically and in friends) and we learn to wait until our emotions and brain are on the same page before jumping too deeply into anything. Hannah will also learn this (if she hasn’t already).
What scared the heck out of me about Part 1 of the finale is her saying that she wasn’t sure what to expect at the ATFR. Is she planning to ask Jed questions, and if he answers them in an acceptable manner, take him back? huh? If that is the case, it’s very clear to me she’s got a long way to go before she’s in a place where she’s ready for a truly serious long-term relationship. It may mean that she is not secure and confident enough in herself to think she deserves better. If I remember correctly, didn’t she say that the reason she kept Luke around for a long time was because he was the only one who seemed to be there for her and she wasn’t confident/secure enough in herself to think the rest of the participants were truly there for her? This speaks to how important it is to know who you are and be ok and confident about who you are. How can you look for and grab good things out in the world for yourself, if you don’t think you’re good enough for those good things? It’s impossible. You’ll always reach for less. Luke was less. Jed was less. Makes sense to me she went for them.
I want to be clear that I don’t think either Luke or Jed are less in general. There are people out there who are great fits for Luke and for Jed. I mean less of a fit for Hannah.
Something that really stuck in my mind was when Hannah said she couldn’t believe Tyler would even be interested in her. Like he was almost “too” good for her. It speaks to how even a stunningly beautiful person with a lot to give has deep insecurities. This is yet again a clear example of her lack of confidence. She is very insecure and it’s acting as a barrier to her making good decisions.
Some part of me hopes that at Part 2 of the ATFR tonight, what she really meant when she said she wasn’t sure what to expect tonight, she meant more that she secretly hoped that Tyler would suggest they give it another shot, but that she didn’t know if that was in the cards. There are two outcomes of tonight I’d be happy with:
1) Hannah is single and she intentionally and purposefully chooses to take some time to work on building confidence before she pursues romantic relationships in the future
2) Tyler asks her for a second shot, and it’s mutually agreed upon that it will be a very slow moving relationship, where she works on herself at the same time and Tyler gives her the space to do that, while slowly building their relationship. Well, it was #3. Hannah asking for a second shot.
If Tyler meant any of the things he’s said about his feelings (“once in a million connection”) for Hannah during the show, then it’s 100% going to be a case of 2). If he didn’t truly mean those things.. then it’s 1). Which in my mind, makes him a bad choice for The Bachelor. It means we’re going to get a bachelor who is full of shit.. who makes strong statements that do not hold water. If Tyler is who I think he is and stays consistent with what he’s said and how he’s acted, he’s not going to let Hannah get away.
If in the unlikely chance Jed gives Hannah some answers tonight that she buys and she gives him another go… I feel bad for her, and for Jed. It hurts them both, because once trust is broken, you can never get it back 100%.. and a relationship that is not based on 100% trust, well, is half a relationship (if that). Neither Jed nor Hannah, nor anyone for that matter deserves that. Let’s all shoot for a full blown healthy relationship that is based on trust.
No matter what happens, I hope Hannah lands somewhere great.
Comment: We’ll see what happens with them. Do I think they’ll get married? Probably not. But I think if she would’ve chosen him originally, I think they would’ve had a much better chance.
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Hi Steve,
I wanted to compliment you on your recaps. Some are really funny to read.
This is more comments than questions and regarding this season as a whole.
There has been discussion ad nauseam about Hannah’s poor choices in men and – there seems to be some/ a lot of truth to it. But my point is: I think many women can recognize themselves in that. (including myself).
What is interesting is that she seems to choose something – or somebody – that feels familiar to her. And not coming from an entirely functional family, (she mentioned that herself) she feels attracted to what she is used to relationship wise; something not too easy; something that needs a lot of work. As well as somebody that creates some extent of turmoil in her; because otherwise it doesn’t feel like love.
If I am correct, this is not a conscious choice and therefore, it feels like ‘your gut’s telling you this or that.
Having gone through that cycle myself a few times, it is very strange to have a highly edited reality show being a showcase of what was a very real dynamic for me – and many, many women, I believe, from not-too-functional homes.
In my career, I’ve been trained in reading people, and despite and whatever the ultra heavy editing might do, she seems slightly uncomfortable and/or a bit unphased around Tyler C. If I read some of this correctly, she can’t entirely relate to his words or his comforting her, simply because she is not used to that kind of guy/relationship. It doesn’t resonate with anything she knows.
Hannah will be fine (and probably rather rich from this) so she is less important. What’s important is that she is showing a very common dynamic, ironically in a show made for quite the opposite storyline.
Another thing that this season inadvertently has brought up: Even though Tyler C is America’s Mr Perfect right now, there has been a lot of questioning about him being genuine. ‘Too smooth, prepared lines’ etc.
I’m wondering if people would have the same qualms if he looked like Evan Bass. It seems as if he might be falling victim of what beautiful (sometimes blonde:)) women have gone through for centuries: you can’t be hot AND have a fast and well working brain at the same time. He is playing heavily into that himself with all the shirtless photos, but heck; you give people what they want, ehh?
Lastly, a question: Not knowing how close the editing process is to the actual airing, what are the chances that Jed’s visit w Hannah’s family was the original edit? 3 percent or less than zero?
Compliments also for you being quoted on a weekly basis in Newsweek:).
Its a reality world we live in.
Comment: Yeah, I guess we’ll never know since no editor of this show would ever speak on this, but I don’t think it’s far fetched they decided to change the edit of him meeting her parents to just focusing on the negative.
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Hello Steve, watching night one of the finale, I had two strange questions.
1. I noticed Peter’s hair (in his limo ride) looked freshly cut and I wondered how the contestants get hair cuts when they are filming for 8 weeks? Do they let them go out to do that, does someone on staff provide cuts or do they have to wait until they are release for hometowns? Usually guys get haircuts during hometown week because you have so much downtime.
2. It seemed like the family only needed to be in Greece for 2 days and I wondered 2 things: does the show pay for their flights & hotel, and; if so, do they get to stay at least a week or is it just 2 days?
Wishing you well!
Comment: Yes, the show pays for everything for the family to fly to the final rose ceremony location. And yes, most stay longer.
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Hey, Steve.
Long time reader and listener, but first time writer.
What do you think is next for the future of this franchise? Will we ever have a “normal” (using that word lightly, here) season again where a contestant wins and that’s that? Or do you think the show will continue to try and outdo itself in terms of drama and dysfunction, knowing that it leads to higher ratings and more viewers? I feel like the last few seasons have had such extraordinary drama (i.e. Arie dumping Becca post-engagement, Cassie telling Colton she’s not ready/the infamous fence jump, Luke P., the show trying too hard to resonate with the LGBTQ+ community by bringing Demi’s girlfriend on the show when they never bring non-bachelor people on, and of course, the Jed situation).
Where are we heading, Steve? Is this the new norm? Is a “happy ending” too boring for Bachelor nation, now?
Thanks!
Comment: Yeah, I think have a regular season with just a normal final rose ceremony WITH no post-show craziness will be the exception now. When you’re 38 seasons in, you gotta change things up and keep people interested. This season destroyed in the ratings for a show in their 17th year. Gotta keep it going.
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So much senseless rambling…
1. As always, you are the best. I agree. Thanks.
2. I thought the way you handled the discussion with Vienna surrounding her pregnancy loss was beautiful. You were sensitive, you let her talk (which you really do a great job of doing when people get into personal stories… Wes, off the top of my head, was an example) and you truly grasped the magnitude of her pain and loss. As a mother, I want to applaud you. Thanks. That wasn’t easy. I don’t wanna take too much credit, because honestly, I didn’t really know what to say. So I just shut up.
3. Just an opinion, but I loathe Jed. Truly. I remember thinking how great he was early on, being so supportive and understanding of her “journey” (as they love to say), but he really started to sour on me, even without the Haley news. Cracks started to show and it was so clear he was an act.
Then, the way he acted about Luke in Greece on the one-on-one was so manipulative, like he was trying to get her to validate him. When she finally sent Luke home and how he said something about how Hannah finally listened to him. Again, him. Subtle clues.
Last night I was ready to stick my hand through the tv and punch his smug face (kidding — violence isn’t cool, kids!). He was such a brat about the way Hannah’s parents felt toward him. Yes, a brat. Childish and immature.
They did not come across as gold diggers. Simply parents who wanted to ensure their daughter wasn’t signing up to support a struggling musician who is singing in bars every night while she holds down two jobs. Does he have a backup plan? At any point is he going to say, I tried and it didn’t work, or is he going to go down that road forever? All fair questions. Maybe they were asked oddly, probably editing. But fair.
And instead of saying, gee, that made me think… he made it about him. It made him sad. Messed with his head. But the dog food jingle! Don’t they know about the dog food?
What a child.
Also, the chemistry between Hannah and Peter on the couch last night on the live show was on fire. Never seen her and Jed like that. Well, you sent this before part 2. She was over the moon with Jed at the final rose ceremony and post show. There’s no denying that.
4. Maybe I missed this, so forgive me (toddler mom, I do 10 things at once so I miss stuff when I read at times), but have you heard from any of Luke’s former flames that he exhibited similar behavior? I know he and his family protest this is all a shock and he’s never been received by anyone this way. Also, I know you won’t betray anyone’s confidence, but can you just say yes or no that you’ve heard rumblings?
I was in a relationship with a narcissist. Verbally abusive. It starts early in their life and it never changes. I saw red flags from night one with Luke, classic narcissist. He was just trying to be what he thought Hannah wanted, which I think has a lot to do with him denying things he said — he just blurts out in the moment what he THINKS she wants to hear. And can’t even remember everything he spews. Hence the “falling in love” garbage at the talent show. He picked up on her insecurities and ran with it.
It just seems like a leopard doesn’t change its spots. Or rather, those spots don’t appear overnight. So he must have behaved similar in a previous relationship? Or did Jesus in the shower save his soul yet had to turn him into a dickwad as a result? No. Never heard from any exes.
5. What are Peter’s chances of redeeming himself and staying in the running for Bachelor? Obviously that campaign begins this week. We’ll see.
6. Will Jed take the title of “most hated man in America?” I can’t imagine anything he says will help. I predict he tries to pull a BIP redemption next summer. As a former entertainment publicist, I love to try and predict their media chess moves!
Luke… wow. Awful. He could have done so much to help himself last week and didn’t. Made it worse. Again, classic narcissist. I’m sure he didn’t listen to anyone because he thought he knew best. Jed trying to explain himself to Hannah was embarrassing. He deserves to get roasted.
7. Tyler. Sigh. If I was a teenager I would have his poster on my wall.
Can’t wait for tonight. And BIP next week. The one reality show my husband watches religiously with me! Thank you for all you do!
PS, I know you’re way too busy, but I wish you were more active on Instagram — that’s where all us moms are!
Comment: I’m just not an IG person and probably never will be. Not my thing. Maybe 10-15 pics a year tops.
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Hey Steve,
Love your work! Do you ever get pissed about all of the “spoiler” accounts and articles that just regurgitate your work? I guess it could be positive publicity but every time I click on article with the opening sentence “according to Reality Steve….” I look for a link to your site but find nothing. Apologies if you’ve already addressed this….relatively new fan over here 🙂
Comment: I mean, there’s nothing I can do. It is what it is. I appreciate the ones that do credit, and the ones that don’t are trash. Pretty simple.
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Steve,
Thanks again for all that you do! Always enjoy following along with your spoilers. This season I think I’ve enjoyed your recaps, podcasts and spoilers even more than the actual footage from ABC.
Curious about what you thought of the Hannah and Peter interaction last night? Normally when someone’s being potentially considered for bachelor they play the “this hurt me but I’m ready to move on” angle on stage. Upset but not too upset. Peter was the exact opposite. At first he still seemed so devastated. And then when she came out their interactions were so flirtatious and comfortable. They were holding hands for a few seconds and then both realized and awkwardly let go. And then of course the totally awkward admission about their private sex life in front of his family. Why on earth were his parents cheering like that?! It all seemed so odd to me. They just seemed super into each other. And you are so right, she didn’t act like someone who’s engaged for all of those reasons. I’m not necessarily speculating that they are together just that there interaction on stage was very different from most people that have just been dumped two months earlier? Just my observations and wondering your thoughts. Well clearly they’re not together. I mean, they boned 4 times. Guess they had some connection.
Also, Hannah’s dad was uber focused on money with Jed. Makes sense because he’s a struggling musician but he really hit on the fact that someone would be taking care of Hannah multiple times. Just seemed very persistent.
Interested to see how it goes tonight and can’t wait to find out who is next for bachelor. Though it seems like Tyler is a no brainer!
Comment: Tyler and Hannah would have to be completely done in a month for Tyler to have a chance. And even then, I think as happy as people would be with him, I think plenty might also say he ended it with Hannah so he COULD be the “Bachelor,” and that doesn’t really fit his image. But who knows? I’d be surprised though now if it’s Tyler.
