Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 16 - Clare

The “Bachelorette” Clare – Episode 3 Recap, Allegations Against a Contestant, & The Embarrassing Social Media Response to the Yosef & Zach Situations

Photo Credit: ABC

Well as predicted yesterday, last night’s episode was a lightning rod for social media. You can try and reason til you’re blue in the face with me, but I absolutely do not understand the level of hatred being thrown Clare’s way. It baffles my mind. And no, it has nothing to do with her being on my podcast three years ago. Does she have a right to be criticized? Absolutely. I’m talking about pure hatred and vitriol being spewed out from people on Twitter, on Instagram under my post yesterday, on the BacheloretteABC accounts, etc. It’s disgusting. We see it every season, and this season is no different, so I’m not singling out Clare. But she’s literally had 3 episodes and it’s like she’s the worst human being ever. I do not get it. And the fact of the matter is, that plays a role in how people view the show. You don’t have to love her as the lead. Hell, you don’t even have to like her. But I said it at the beginning of my podcast last week, and I’ll say it again: before you tweet something, or post a comment somewhere, re-read what you wrote and ask yourself is it really necessary that I put this out there? Is what I’m putting out there to my 17 followers really that necessary when it’s filled with nothing but mean, nasty, hatred? Nobody’s saying you’re not allowed to have an opinion. But when seemingly all of your opinions are to shit on her, I don’t know, maybe take a step back and re-evaluate your life. Just saying.

Remember this that was posted on the @BachelorNation IG account two weeks before Clare’s season started?

View this post on Instagram

??? ? Link in bio for more info.

A post shared by Bachelor Nation (@bachelornation) on

Here’s a couple problems with that message:

1) If you look at the comments under any post since Clare’s season started on that page, I think there’s 1 post that has over 100 comments. The page itself only has 183k followers. What I’m saying is, that IG page isn’t the main one where people go to leave trash/bully comments.

2) The @BacheloretteABC account has 1.1 million followers. That’s where a majority of the bullying is happening. Go to that IG account. Click on any picture. Read through the 500 or so comments that any picture has and you tell me if this show really cares about negativity or bullying towards their contestants, mostly Clare. SPOILER: They don’t. It’s disgusting what’s over there.

A few things to get to before we jump into last night’s episode. First things first, something that got asked a lot since last Wednesday’s live with Ashley and again after last night’s edit, and that’s the situation with Eazy. Again last night he got the comedic edit and everyone seems to love him. Here’s what I can now report. The woman who contacted me the night of the premiere that I’ve been in contact with ever since, spoke with the legal team of NZK Productions this past Friday for 90 minutes, and told them everything she told me about a prior experience with Eazy. So now the show is 100% aware of allegations against him. Maybe because it was Friday when they spoke to her it was too late to change the edit on this week’s episode, I don’t know. But now it’s 8 days until next week’s episode (which is airing next Thursday instead of Tuesday because of Election Night), so that should be plenty of time to edit him out of the episode. No ITM’s, no focus on his humor, nothing.

Of course they can’t completely edit Eazy out of the episodes because the show is already in the can and he was physically there. If it’s a shot of a group date, of course he’ll be in it. But MTV had the same situation last season when Dee’s past tweets came back to haunt her, and MTV immediately separated themselves from a contestant by putting a disclaimer at the beginning of the show, and, never giving Dee a confessional/ITM the rest of the time she was on the show. It was like she wasn’t even there even though she was. So lets see from episode #4 moving forward how ABC chooses to handle this situation. I’m the only outlet reporting this story. Hopefully others will pick up on it and make it known that ABC is well aware now as of last Friday allegations made against Eazy to their legal team. If he’s not cut out of the show and made it seem like he’s barely there then, well, that’ll answer your question as to how seriously they take allegations. And this woman told them everything she told me. If they don’t take it seriously, they’ve got some major issues.

I will point one thing out before you start asking. No, she did not press charges at the time, and she’s decided she’s not going to press charges going forward. This is something she knows she has to live with now, she was triggered seeing him on TV again, but it’s her decision to make on what to do and she’s made it. It doesn’t make her allegations any less credible because she isn’t pressing charges. I’ve messaged with her numerous times, she’s had to live with this incident ever since it happened, and it’s not something she’s happy about. She made that known to me, and to NZK’s legal, and she’s not in the greatest of places right now. I feel for her and I hope NZK has enough compassion to show this guy as little as possible going forward and make sure he’s never cast on another show of theirs again. Anything less is unacceptable and you can expect me to call them out for it every week if it continues.

I’m sure you’ve seen this by now, but a rather comical story surrounding Dale arose last week when people saw he once modeled for Party City. Kinda funny. Dale in silly costumes. The dude also has modeled for some major athletic brands that I’ve seen. However now after seeing that, maybe I’ll go as a taco for Halloween this year. I mean, I do love tacos. Tacos al carbon. Get it? Hilarious, I know. I’ve only heard that since about high school.

Also as I reported last week, Abigail Heringer received Matt’s first impression rose during the “Bachelor” filming. Right around the time I tweeted that, the local paper in Salem interviewed her mother and we got a little bit of background on Abigail. I guess the most notable thing to come from the interview is her mother saying that she was surprised Abigail talked about her hearing loss because it’s not something she talks about much, but that if it impacts one person, it’s worth it. Either way, Abigail’s presence on this show, and being the recipient of the first impression rose, will go over very well. I’ve already seen plenty of response to how happy people are that someone like her is going to be featured on the show. The tweets, the IG responses, etc. All very positive

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  1. realityjuls

    October 28, 2020 at 10:39 AM

    1. Yosef’s behavior was disgusting

    2. I think RS is being way too harsh on Zach. He was one of the very few guys that were definitely there for Clare, for the right reasons (read his casting bio as well as one of the guys commented last night Zach is “in love”). I think he felt the whole situation was a huge miscommunication- he was so into her and so excited when she went in for a kiss, but when she retracted he wanted her to know he wasn’t rejecting her. He wanted to correct it in that moment. I don’t think touching her to say “hey I do want a kiss!” when they were on a date, about to kiss, surrounding by the crew was overly aggressive and RS is painting the picture that way. Respect Clare’s decision to send him home if it made her uncomfortable (bearing in mind it was clear she was just never into him-I think she forgot who she was with for a minute when she went in for the kiss). But it’s careless for a figure like RS to write up this description, putting him in the same bucket as Yosef who’s behavior on the episode was despicable, and Eazy who RS seems to be implying is most likely accused of sexual or physical assault. Don’t come at me, I’m a sexual assault survivor myself, and this is just my opinion. Not a particular Zach ‘stan’ either, I just don’t think him being thrown under the bus is fair, he got rejected and embarrassed enough in last night’s episode.

    Also agree Clare is getting way too much unnecessary hate and a bad edit, but not going to lie, it’s boring when it’s this clear who she’s picking and she’s not trying to hide it from the other men. Looking forward to the Tayishia change up and curious how the guys will react to her. If they can switch gears so quickly, they probably weren’t ever that into Clare from the get go.

  2. rob22

    October 28, 2020 at 10:57 AM

    As far as the narrative, I’ll agree to the extent that it’s been published by RS in several other seasons that the lead had effectively picked the winner very early on & it was obvious to everyone on set. However, the edit in those seasons chose to cover up that fact to make it look better. This season, it happened, and they’ve chosen not to cover it up. Maybe this was the plan all along & Tayshia was going to arrive to save the franchise from the beginning. Whatever. It’s just bad TV. If they chose to make the Clare episodes this way intentionally, it’s just dumb producing. Nobody wants to see guys as either villains or irrelevant from the start. Even Dale “the winner” doesn’t even look really good the way they edited things. The whole comedy show thing just through mud at him. How are they even going to bring the rest of the guy’s over to Tayshia’s season? Everyone is tainted by this fiasco. IMO: Clare was a terrible pick anyway. She was on Juan Pah-Blow’s horrible season & then at two BIPs (and the embarrassing Winter Games) where they had her speaking to a racoon at one point. (I know it was produced garbage). So this is the person that’s the Bachelorette. Maybe they figured out that the season was doomed even before the season actually started and this is the show’s exit strategy. Oh well, I guess we’ll see what happens. Everyone keeps tuning in, so I guess it won’t kill the show. But it should. It’s just terrible TV.

  3. crushonspivey

    October 28, 2020 at 11:30 AM

    Yosef was ungentlemanly. yeah Clare wasn’t blameless there, but he lost it.

    As to Zach, seems there were just some crossed wires all the way around. Was just really awkward to watch Clare overreact, then Zach be confused and try to recover and not handle it great either.

    I think TPTB saw how things were going down, they saw how Clare was as a lead and what was happening with Dale, and they KNEW they had to get a Plan B is place ASAP. And once they saw that Clare had lost the guys because it was so obvious she only had eyes for Dale and was alienating the other guys with her actions, they put Plan B in place. Because she couldn’t fake it like other leads could. My guess is that it happened quicker than they thought it might, but they were ready. Big $$ on the line for the show, so they had to be ready. Plan B happens and the season gets some extra drama and saved at the same time.

    I look forward to seeing how the Tayshia intro goes down and how the guys react. I bet most of them are all about it. I would have been. Going from a lead that is hard to read and all into another guy to a lead where you have a shot? Yep, sign me up.

  4. buckeyegrad12

    October 28, 2020 at 12:04 PM

    I don’t think Claire is a bad person, just a terrible Bachelorette. I agree with the above comments that the Zach situation triggered her and she overreacted. I had to re-watch it like 4 times and I never really saw anything terrible on his part. :-/

  5. elfudge101019

    October 28, 2020 at 12:24 PM

    Yikes so Tayshia’s story doesn’t have a happy ending? I’m guessing that’s what you mean when you say Claire/Dale will be the only love story we get?

  6. whydoiwatch

    October 28, 2020 at 1:25 PM

    It’s really disturbing to me to see people defending Zach Jackson here, and I find his response appalling.

    First of all, he did pull at her. Watch it again. You can see her entire body jut forward with the force of him arm tugging her while he stands in the pool. Second of all, he didn’t just do it once. It wasn’t just a mistake. He put his hands on her neck twice against her will. Third of all, I see people saying “he just seemed confused/embarrassed/panicked” as if that is any excuse. Of course he felt one of those things. The emotion he felt is not the issue. The problem is how he channeled that emotion and chose to behave. If a guy punches a woman in the face, is it appropriate to say “oh, he was just angry/embarrassed/panicked.” Of course not. The emotion doesn’t permit the action. So why in this scenario does it become the rationale for something that was wrong? He put his hands on her and was aggressive, and he did it TWICE. That is unacceptable, full stop. The fact that he doesn’t acknowledge his behavior crossed a line is a major red flag.

    But as disgusted as I am about what Zach did and his lack of accountability for his own actions, I’m more bothered by how the producers handled it. It makes it really clear to me that the producers hate Clare. If they had a shred of respect for Clare, they would’ve kicked Zach out immediately and told him that he is not allowed to grab a woman by the neck. Instead, they gave him the most sympathetic exit they could’ve given the circumstances. Instead of immediately informing him Clare was done with him, they had him get ready for the dinner date and sit around waiting so they could show him sitting at the table alone. Then they had Chris Harrison show up and apologize to him and tell him Clare isn’t coming, but they never actually explain why. With another Bachelorette, they would’ve tried to turn it into an empowering moment, like with Hannah Brown dumping Luke, but with this they tried to make Clare look like the jerk mistreating Zach. They don’t actually say that it’s not acceptable for a man to try to force a woman to kiss him against her will. They let Zach J. think it’s about the misunderstanding with the kiss and make it about the kiss. In reality, whether Clare had anything to be upset about with Zach rebuffing her initially is beside the point. It was his reaction that was the problem, but the producers don’t make it a teachable moment about consent to their massive audience. They brush it aside, allowing debates like the ones we are seeing horrifyingly play out on social media.

    This whole season so far has been about trying to make Clare look uncaring toward the guys. Are we really supposed to believe that Clare made the guys sit around for hours as if she was about to walk through the door? The producers could’ve at any moment told the guys the date was called off, or the producers could’ve told the guys they can go hang out and will be notified when Clare is on her way, but instead the producers forced them to sit around to try to rile them up and get soundbites about how inconsiderate Clare is. Do the producers really expect us to believe that Clare came up with strip dodge ball on the fly, despite the fact that we all know the producers plan the dates and despite the fact that a printed sign hanging at the venue said “strip dodgeball” right on it? Seems like it was set up for Yosef to attack her more than anything. And if Yosef just wanted to tell her off, he would’ve done it and left but instead he spoke for 20 minute while Clare remained remarkably calm until she finally lost it. I would bet anything that Yosef was instructed by the producers to not relent until he got a reaction out of her.

    None of these are new machinations, of course, but it’s disturbing to me that the production is so hellbent on making Clare the villain that they brushed off what was clearly unacceptable, aggressive behavior that crossed a line *twice*. Grabbing a woman’s neck is okay if she makes you wait around for a couple hours – right Bachelor producers? After that one-on-one, who could even blame Clare for not wanting to entertain the idea of spending anymore time with these jerks and wanting to run off with Dale? It’s not the first time Bachelorette knew who she was going to pick from the beginning, from JoJo to Kaitlyn, but this is the first time we are made to believe Clare is a terrible person because of it. I don’t buy it.

  7. polishgirl8894

    October 28, 2020 at 2:45 PM

    Sorry Steve, normally I love your commentary and this website because you point out how gross this franchise is, but I believe you have some major Clare Tunnel Vision going on which is coincidentally what she has going on for Dale. Didn’t you tell Whit & Ry that if you were to date someone from the franchise it would be Clare? I think your personal feelings are getting involved and impacting your reasoning. Yosef may have been overly aggressive and done who knows what with women off the franchise, but he didn’t do anything wrong in confronting Clare about making contestants get butt naked or not. And this is one of MANY behaviours that Clare is exhibiting that are HUGE red flags in a person in general (e.g. her bringing a dress she wore to a date and expecting her date to worship her story about it because that’s not creepy at all, being mad at Brandon for not knowing her life history, ignoring basically everyone except Dale who she supposedly never talked to before because he’s the only guy who was on social media spending time with friends, being super fake or super aggressive without any in-between, etc.). I’m pretty much over this franchise now, not that I was really watching for years now, but I’m over your website too. Whit & Ry’s commentary is hilarious but I’ll probably only watch until Tayshia replaces Clare and it goes back to the same generically degrading show.

  8. ladyjane747

    October 28, 2020 at 3:20 PM

    Jumping in here with my .02. Yosef was a jerk. Dude, you weren’t even on the date and you haven’t watched this show enough to know that strip dodgeball was not Clare’s idea? Bad look for Zach, but I don’t think he’s a monster or abuser. And did I miss something? What did Eazy do? Do we know already or is Steve being coy, as usual? I don’t dislike Clare, but she’s being rude and disrespectful to the other guys. It will be interesting when Tayshia comes on because I always wonder how contestants would fare with other leads, and now we get a chance to see that. Who is Tayshia going to click with that Clare completely overlooked? (Of course, she completely overlooked most of them.) I mean, would Jordan from JoJo’s season have been a frontrunner for Becca? Would Garrett have interested Hannah B? Would Luke P. have made an impression on Rachel?

  9. reddragon17

    October 28, 2020 at 4:41 PM

    I agree RS with almost everything. The fact of the matter is that we just went through a WHOLE THING … remember “#MeToo” anyone…? And the narrative was that we should almost always believe the victim. Clare’s body language SAID IT ALL. It doesn’t matter what Yosef or Zach is claiming now… the fact is that lines were crossed in both situations and whether the audience agrees with it or not, it mattered to HER. I stand with her, in everything she said, and did last night on Twitter as well.

    Sadly, this is one of those things where if you’ve never stood in those shoes, and been subjected to that type of behavior from Men (or women, it does go both ways), no matter how much you think you’ve healed or moved on from it, it takes LITERALLY SECONDS for one wrong move, wrong word(s) or a hand placed badly for it all to come flooding back. I am amazed that she didn’t have a bigger breakdown than she did.

    I was very much not surprised at all when Chris H. came out to talk to Zack, because of it. Once that feeling of fear, even just the tiniest little bit, starts with someone, you never ever want to be around that person again if you can help it. That was probably part of the trauma recovery she had to do, was learn when that happens, when it starts, and what to do / how to manage it when it does happen. I applaud her for doing what she did.

    The sad part is that most men – won’t say all, because there were plenty of men last night defending her – but MOST men would NEVER have any clue that what they did is wrong, because they’ve been allowed to do it their entire adult lives. If any woman or man has ever stood there and said DUDE NO, they’re clueless! That is the biggest issue I see with Zack’s response. He will never understand why he got the reaction he did, because he doesn’t want to.

    Its like the guy saying “BUT YOU MADE ME MAD” – aka Josef. These types of men will continue with their behavior because the consequences haven’t been severe enough for them to bother to understand why its wrong.

    As for the women defending them? Gross. Just Gross. You look out for your fellow sisters, and call that crap out when you see it – NOT tell the victim they did wrong. Just NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO.

    I am like you Steve, I have been upset about the response on social media as well and it just shows that rape culture will never stop because the majority of folks just won’t let it.

  10. bach1992

    October 28, 2020 at 7:35 PM

    Long time reader but first time commenting. I’m sorry RS, I usually enjoy your commentary on the seasons because you bring very good points but this time around you truly seem extremely biased towards Clare. It’s very boring to read to be honest. I agree there is no need to be hateful towards her but there are many red flags she has shown and she has treated many contestants very poorly and classless, like when she sent the contestant home for not knowing her personal details, that’s was straight up classless and you defending it makes it incredibly boring.

  11. bach1992

    October 28, 2020 at 7:43 PM

    Also, the guys verbalized how much she was making their conversations about Dale after the roast date.any of them expressed feeling like their conversation was all about dale, even if we didn’t see all their conversations, the guys expressed it on camera. It’s ok to not want to be hateful towards her, but let’s be honest RS would’ve talked way more about that If it was any other candidate but you’re spending all your time defending Clare. You’re writing paragraphs about Zach but nothing ok Clare. Yawn.

  12. justsaying

    October 29, 2020 at 8:57 AM

    Yosef went over the top scolding Clare. He had to create so much attention and go out with a bang for tv time.

    The visuals are not good. Zach grabbing Clare’s neck a couple of times.

    With that said, Clare and Dale are both tone-deaf towards the other contestants. Not a good look.

  13. crushonspivey

    October 29, 2020 at 9:59 AM

    I just re-read the recap. It is obvious that Steve has lost what he once had. Steve used to make fun of the show, and how things happened. The lead was in play, the pursuers, all of it. Even production. And there used to be some great snark. Now, the snark is gone, and woke Steve is here instead. Sort of like what happened to Ashley Spivey. Her recaps were legendary and hilarious, and now she it too woke about this show.

    These recaps need more humor, more snark, and less apologetics. We know what this is–a manufactured reality show. So can we just make fun of it again and have fun with it, all while hoping a love story happens along the way? Need to stop treating these people with kid gloves and white knighting them. Especially Clare Steve, Stop white knighting her bro.

    More Baby Eagle Face please.

  14. ctrealitygirl

    October 29, 2020 at 1:00 PM

    I totally agree with you crushonspivey! I was happy when they announced Claire as the Bachelorette but I am willing to admit now that she’s not behaving well. I do not understand why RS is falling all over himself trying to defend her actions. It appears he reads Sharleen’s posts before he writes his recap because he often states the exact sentiments as Sharleen, almost verbatim. But apparently not this week. Sharleen – who is also a Claire fan – wrote in her Flare column this week that she felt Claire was acting very selfishly in the way she treats the guys and making it so obvious that the only person she gives a hoot about is Dale. Does she forget what they went thru to be on the show? Quarantine by themselves in a room in a resort for 14 days, probably stripped of their cell phones so no outside contact. Then she can’t even have the decency to allot them some time? Or hand out a date rose? And that tantrum she had when no one jumped up to ask her to go chat was juvenile. You can’t expect a bunch of guys to know ho to react in this new format…not leaving the resort, spending all their time hanging around with the other guys. They’re probably waiting for a push. I read an article this morning citing Rob Mills’ (Bachelor exec) interview on Nick Viall’s podcast where he said that they knew from the git-go that they needed to have a back-up plan the way Claire was behaving and he referenced the group date where, instead of giving a rose to one of the guys, she gave it to herself! They could see the handwriting on the wall – that she had no misgivings about making it obvious that she was gaga over Dale. Steve needs to wake up or he’ll lose his fan base.

  15. tinyred500

    October 29, 2020 at 3:12 PM

    @Crushonspivey although I agree with the above it’s the, ‘Now, the snark is gone, and woke Steve is here instead. ‘ bit I liked the most. So glad someone said it! Steve is so woke now. *PC, Cancel Culture and Woke have killed humour and killing freedom of speech as well. I can’t comment on the change of Ashley because I didn’t start watching till Sean’s series. Steve however used to be so funny, he used to poke fun at everything to do with the shows as a whole. Now it’s either all the above* with too much politics thrown in. His podcasts are too heavy too IMHO. I wish we could roll back the years and get the sarcasm and humour back.

  16. elizabeth82

    October 29, 2020 at 7:36 PM

    I’d like to pile on: Steve is treating Clare as if she’s his personal friend and yes, where’s the snark.

    And what I’m curious about is if production brought Tayshia in because they really planned this upset, did they want a backup plan, or were they originally just planning that Tayshia could make a guest appearance?

  17. feck

    October 30, 2020 at 7:49 AM

    By completely ignoring the last group day in this article, Steve makes it very obvious that he is 1000% on Clare’s side. If anything in this episode made her look bad it was the group date and Steve completely ignores that to provide her cover, such a shame. I get it you want to protect your friends, but you can’t sit here and trash Yosef and Zach as hard as you did and provide Clare cover, all 3 should be equal trashed. what a hack.

  18. rob22

    October 30, 2020 at 11:28 AM

    I have to concur with the comments about RS having lost his sense of humor. However much Yosef deserves what he’s getting for his behavior, Claire is really clowning it up, and that should be part of the commentary. Maybe the bad plot lines on the show have something to do with it, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because every contestant is looking for an acting career, modeling exposure, to be an Instagram influencer or some other external reason. IDK. But, my situation personally is that I’ve watched this show with my wife as a bonding experience. We still record it and turn it on, but we really don’t actually watch the show anymore. One or both of us falls asleep & it’s so easy to check emails, etc. while the show is going on because not much ever happens. The drama created is really stupid and boring. Maybe most of us are tuning in out of habit, or something, but the show no longer warrants any serious watching. And as noted, RS still does have the spoilers, which is the main draw. But I stopped reading the long, boring “Reader Emails” long ago and the recaps aren’t worth it either. And btw: the podcasts, which I only started listening to since the pandemic started (Podcasts are all that keep me sane), are very long & often very little sizzle. They are almost like a very long version of Entertainment Tonight focused entirely on The Bachelor… except when they’re on some other topic nobody cares about.

  19. atleast4characters

    November 1, 2020 at 3:49 PM

    That was hilarious, Steve: writing from the perspective of the people you used to laugh at who lap up the show not understanding how the show works. Of course, by doing so, that prevented you from some fine moments to mock. Just one example was Chris Harrison after the Yosef drama when he said the show reveals what people are really like and that’s why the show “works”. But I’ll always wonder if Chris was laughing inside while he held a straight face.

  20. sweet tea

    November 3, 2020 at 1:08 PM

    I find Clare hard to watch. She’s narcissistic and was dismissive and rude to the men. She was making out in her bedroom for nearly an hour while the rest of the guys were waiting on her. She canceled dates and cocktail parties because she’s obsessed with Dale.

    Because they didn’t immediately jump up and fawn all over her, she threw a tantrum. She acts 15, not 39.

    I certainly don’t hate her but do think she was a bad choice for this show. I also think the producers were never that excited about having her and that played into the decision of her leaving. I don’t think it was just her idea.

    This is what her fourth or fifth iteration of Bachelor Nation? She’s been over-exposed.

  21. nursej

    November 3, 2020 at 1:36 PM


    I have always enjoyed reading your perspective on the show and human behaviour in general! I too used to watch with my husband but we have both lost interest over time-especially him. Now I just have it on in the background as I cook, fold laundry, etc. The show is not doing Clare any favours. It’s almost painting her as a hypocrite given all of the Jaun Pablo shaming pre-show. Now there will be lots of comparison between her and Tayshia. Not a good look for the ’empowering women’ campaign.

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