Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” How You Can Donate to Ashley Spivey, & (SPOILERS) Tayshia’s Episode #8

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

I listened to the podcast last week and thought I’d give you some insight into why reddit is giving you so much grief. First reason is that they’re spoiled. They’re accustomed to getting spoilers weeks in advance so getting them the day of seems like an insult/waste of time which would only make sense if they were paying for them. Second reason is that they love to theorize and speculate about your spoilers for weeks in lots of comment threads and posting them the day of doesn’t give time for that. Again, we’re getting all this for free for so no one should be griping.

I lurk on reddit pretty frequently but almost never post anything so I have a pretty good handle on the general vibe beyond that one post you referenced (which I read and just shook my head at the entitlement).

Also I remember you asking why reddit talks about everything you do/say. Well reddit talks about literally every single thing that’s associated with the bachelor and you’re a big part of that. It would honestly be weird if they didn’t. If there’s an entire thread devoted to Krystal’s instagram page for her unborn child of course they’re going to talk about the spoiler king!

I also think the people who are complaining are a tiny chunk of the 140K member subreddit which is the equivalent of the trolls you encounter on Twitter. There’s probably plenty of people like me who love what you do and don’t care when the spoilers arrive. Hope that helps a little.

Comment: One thing I forgot to mention last week is the point you first made which is, in general, people are “spoiled” by me. And not spoiled in the sense of show spoilers, but just spoiled in that for 11 years, they’ve gotten so much information from me before the season even starts, that when they don’t get it, they piss and moan about it. Or ask non stop (like last season with Peter’s ending), “When are we getting it?” So you can basically say I’ve become a victim on my own success. When you give it to them every season for 11 years, and then it slows down, immediately they can’t handle it. It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is. If I knew more details, I’d give them. I’m not holding anything back. It does me no good to do that when I know I’ve got plenty of people essentially breathing down my neck wanting answers. And if I know I’ll get that if I don’t release stuff, why in the world would I purposely hold on to info? That makes zero sense considering how annoying it is when people have to know everything 4 seconds after it happens.

But after last week when I said what I said, I’m pretty much done referencing Reddit. They’re never going to change, and my feelings about them never will either. So let them be and do their thing and I’ll do mine. As I said, what I do is not strictly just for them, which is the #1 problem I see with them. They don’t seem to understand that. If spoilers were easy, everybody would be doing them. In 11 years, one site in all of the internet has given you consistent spoilers season in and season out: this one. And it’s not even close. And even on seasons like Clare’s and Dale’s, where spoilers right now aren’t as detailed, you’re still getting more from me than anywhere else. But for whatever reason, people seem to forget that. It’s ok. I blame their parents.

Hi Steve,

Saw your callout for questions and since I’m just as big of a Survivor fan as you I wanted to ask:

1) Have you heard anything about filming for the next season/when it will air? Here’s the latest info on “Survivor” from our friend Andy Dehnart over at

2) What are your thoughts on all of the new fans now that Survivor is on Netflix? I love it but also hate that old players are having to relive their social media hate (similar to the bachelor specials over the summer).

Comment: Are they getting that? Really? That’s sad. I know “Survivor” fans are die hards, but didn’t realize the hate they had is still coming out at contestants.

Hi Steve,

Two part question for you:

1. Now that they took someone out of the Bachelor franchise to be the next Bachelor do you think they will do that for Bachelorette?

Did you see the article with Chris Harrison saying Matt James was naive in this process? It could totally be the way the article was written, but it sounds like Chris Harrison was annoyed that he wasn’t aware of how the show works. If that is true I would guess they wouldn’t want to stray out of the franchise. The funny thing is, even though Matt was the first lead in almost 30 seasons who wasn’t on a previous season, he wasn’t a complete stranger that no one had heard of. The die hards knew him as Tyler’s best friend, and, he was set to be on Clare’s season. So yes, technically, he’s the first lead in almost 15 years that wasn’t on a previous season, but, he’s also not like someone they plucked out of nowhere. Like, “Hey, here’s Dr. Andy Baldwin…” etc. For them to pick a random, we’re talking about someone with no ties to the franchise, never been on TV before, not a big IG following, and just a regular dude who they chose because they liked him for whatever reason. I don’t see them doing that. Even if they do try again with someone not from the franchise, I would expect that person to have some sort of notoriety nationally for something they did. It’s not just gonna be Average Joe dude.

2. If they did stray out of the Bachelor franchise for the next bachelorette do you think they would try to go with someone famous or someone with a lot of followers on IG (think like Carly Pierce or Lauren Alaina or an IG influencer like Hannah Godwin was before she went on the show).

Comment: Yeah, I answered your first part before reading this. If they ever stray away again and don’t choose someone who’s been on a previous season, I expect it to be someone that the public may be familiar with. At least in some circles. Doesn’t have to be a national name, but where enough people are aware of them. Someone with somewhat of a fan base already built in. They just can’t take a chance on someone that no one knows anything about. They could really get burned on people tuning out.

Hey steve! Would Kat ever go back on big brother? Loved her on there!

Comment: 1000% she would.

Hey, Steve! First, I just wanna say I joined Reddit in May due to quarantine boredom, and the Bachelor was the first subreddit I joined. It makes me so sad when you say you can’t stand Reddit bc a lot of us actually really love you and stand up for you, myself included! But I get why, people can be really harsh. It’s easy to be when you’re behind a keyboard & anonymous I guess. Lets not limit it to them. ANY place where you can anonymously say whatever you want behind a keyboard with zero repercussions I have issues with. I’ve said that for years.

Anyway, a few questions.

1. Now that they’ve announced BIP, and we know they’ll have four seasons of contestants to choose from, do you think they’ll expand the cast? Film longer? Or be regular? My guess is they’d stay as close to the norm as possible.

2. Sorry, I’m still out here confused about Peter’s ending. I remember you saying that your source said there were multiple endings that could’ve played out, and they were shocked when they went with the Peter & Madison storyline. So if they were shocked by that, what did they think was the most probable ending going into that night? I’m not sure. Once it was over, I didn’t really follow up. But having Kelley in the audience that night when she wasn’t at WTA, and knowing how things ended up between them, I think Peter ending up with Kelley at the ATFR was definitely on the table as a major possibility. That’s the sense I got from what they told me at the time now knowing what played out.

3. To the best of your knowledge, with all the sources and information you got, what is your best guess as to what really happened with Peters ATFR? Kelley, Neil Lane, Madi? Julie the producer? What production was going for? I’m not sure exactly what they were going for. It’s impossible to know. The Julie stuff was nothing. That’s been debunked numerous times. I think they were happy with how that finale played out because it made for good TV that night. They probably all knew Peter and Madi were never gonna work in a million years, but for that one night, they were fine with how everything played out. Shit, 8.5 million people tuned in to the ATFR, when only 6 million tuned in for his premiere. So I honestly don’t think they cared what happened.

4. If you and Kat could double date with any couple that’s both from Bachelor nation (like Jared and Ashley I, Dylan and Hannah G, Kaitlyn and Jason etc.) who would it be and why?

Thanks for all you do! I promise we appreciate it!

Comment: I honestly would have zero interest in double dating with any of these couples. Not my thing. And Kat isn’t familiar enough with past contestants that she would care either, honestly.

Hey Steve,

Question unrelated to the current season: What do you think is going on with Hannah Ann? It seems like she’s trying to brand herself more as a cook (?). I would have thought she would be more involved in Toxic Bachelor Nation, but it seems like she is kind of distancing herself — or maybe it is not a choice? Just seems odd to me because I thought she was going to be the new golden girl.

Thank you!

Comment: Yeah, I don’t know. But all I see on her IG is her cooking or her modeling. So I guess that’s the route she wants to go. To each their own.

Hi Steve,

This is more of a question/concern. I’m not sure if you have any insight on this issue, but thought I would ask since you said you were running short on questions for this week.

Do we know whatever happened with Mike Fleiss’s wife? She was pregnant but got divorced from Mike because he didn’t want a second child and he hit her. The story was horrifying and I felt so bad for her.

I’m just curious/concerned. They divorced but got back together. I don’t believe they remarried, meaning she is more vulnerable now and possibly in danger, right? This gives him more control and don’t they live in Hawaii, far away from her family? Did she ever have her second baby?

Anyways, nothing else was ever said about the issue and I just was curious about it. It seems like higher-ups in the Bachelor world protect this man at all cost. It’s disheartening.

Any insight would be appreciated.

Comment: Yeah, I haven’t heard a thing about that since it happened. Not one. So I can’t help you there. The whole thing was sad, ridiculous, and pathetic to begin with. And then the last thing I can remember hearing is him saying he and his wife had made up and were back together. No idea what happened since then with anything else.

Hi Steve,

Your posts and podcasts are often the highlight of my week (even pre-pandemic) so thanks for the continuous content. I share your love of 90210 and would love to hear a podcast with Tori and/or Jennie. Have you tried to get them on your podcast? I would kill to have either of them on. But now with their own podcast, unless someone knows them and asks to do a giant favor by coming on, that’s gonna be really tough. I had someone indirectly reach out to Tori, but, I get the sense that she’s not doing any other podcasts unless there’s something in it for her. Jennie I have no idea. Although my former roommate in the early 2000’s once dated her, maybe I can ask him? Kidding. They don’t have any contact anymore.

And what do you think about Grocery Store Joe releasing a line of pasta sauces? I suggest we all stick with Olive Garden, eh?

Comment: He is? Sorry. Unless it’s OG, I will not be purchasing.

Hi Steve:

I would imagine you’ve received many emails like this — I don’t have a question. I just wanted to tell you, as a friend of Ashley Spivey, that my heart hurts for her and Steve. I felt compelled to write you after seeing your post on Twitter tonight. What the hell else does this poor woman need to endure?!? My heart is shattering into a million pieces for her.

I decided to send this to you in hopes that you’d include this in your column tomorrow – or maybe share with Ashley the love & prayers many of us are sending to her and Steve. She talked about not being able to review messages sent to her for obvious reasons — but I think it’s important for her to know that there are SO MANY of us out there that support her, grieve with her and are doing what we can to try and lift her & Steve up during this unimaginable time.

I’ve reported the accounts mentioned in your Twitter thread, but if there is anything else we can do to help – please let us know. You know that your followers will do whatever we can to help.

Thanks Steve!

Comment: I’m sure Ashley is getting WAY more love and support in her messages than negativity. Hell, I’M getting a ton just because I’m her co-host. So I know she’s getting a lot. But all it takes is one jag off to criticize her and that could send anyone into a funk. I just hope she doesn’t let those get to her. I feel awful for her right now, but the best thing to do is let her heal however she wants.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.



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