Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & (SPOILER) What Former Contestant Shows Up on Matt’s Season?

Photo Credit: ABC


Thanks for all you do, for revealing the ins and outs of bachelor nation and for giving us spoilers. I just had a comment regarding the “sob story” discussion you had on your podcast and your column. I 100% think it’s producer-led, especially when it’s revealed. And when they don’t have a sob story, they choose someone that’s a virgin and THAT’s the big story (that’s a rant for another day). While I think it’s great that the show finds people from different walks of life and experiences, it’s kind of reminding me how American idol was (pre-Luke Bryan, because I don’t watch the reboot). Auditioning for American Idol is a process-there are multiple rounds before you get to the main judges. There are so many great singers that don’t make it there because the ones that get through have the “feel good” or “sob stories.” Just makes for good tv I guess. That’s all for now!

Comment: Absolutely. It’s kinda why the Bachelor/ette casts their lead from a previous season. It’s all about a connection to the audience. Someone who the audience already went on a journey with is just gonna be more relatable than someone random.

Hi Steve!

Thank you for all that you do with your work. I appreciate your dedication to providing information to readers.

Two questions that are not necessarily bachelor related:

1. Who does the female voice over for your opening roll on your podcast? Showbiz Shelly who works for KIIS FM in Chicago. And congrats to her as she just got engaged.

2. Are you still riding your peleton?

Comment: Not as much as I should be. I need to start dedicating more time. I know this.

Hi Steve,

First off I wanted to say please forward my deepest condolences to Ashley. She seems like a genuinely beautiful person completely undeserving of such a tragedy. God bless.

I just had a comment about your most recent podcast with Jacqueline Trumbull. I love that you talked about how the lead never gives a perspective (or at least producers don’t show that portion), instead just gratitude, when someone opens up about something deep to them. I never honestly thought about it, before it was brought up on podcast 211. That will definitely be something I would personally really like to see in the future, and will be looking for. I think it would show the audience why/how these leads are forming these “deep” connections. It might even help with making leads not look like complete airheads. Of course I do love to see some of the scandals, because when I watch the bachelor/bachelorette I’m not looking for life lessons, but rather something that is easy on the eyes.

P.S. Happy podcast anniversary and Happy Holidays!

Comment: To play devil’s advocate, Tayshia might’ve absolutely given a better answer to Zac and Ivan opening up than what we were shown. We were only commenting on what we saw. So I don’t want to say it could’ve been better, but it might’ve been.

Hi Steve,

(1) Wondering if you have any thoughts regarding having a former addict on the show as we know alcohol consumption seems to be a big part of the experience. We may have to wait for Zac to start doing interviews and see if he addresses what that was like for him to be in that environment. I noticed he had water on the one-on-one, I wonder if Tayshia felt any pressure not to drink once she heard his story. You’ve spoken before about production pushing alcohol consumption on contestants, I’d be curious to know how he was handled behind the scenes. Yeah, I don’t know if it was tempting for him or what. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. But I can’t imagine it was too bad or else he’d just remove himself from the situation.

(2) Was there any concern about the guys hitting on Jojo once she took over for Chris? Or was there not a whole lot of interaction between them? Obviously she’s engaged and they know that, but if I were Tayshia, it would cross my mind for sure.


Comment: I think that’d be pretty idiotic considering 1) She’s engaged and has been for 4 years, and 2) you’re there for Tayshia. The second any of them did that, it’d be a storyline and they’d be gone.

Wondering if Colton is ok? Now I don’t condone what he did, or how he acted but has been radio silent, surprised he hasn’t addressed his behavior at all to his fans.(Or did I miss something) Hopefully he’s seeking some type of treatment?

Comment: Haven’t heard a word and he hasn’t said a word publicly. Probably best that way.

Hi Steve, I really enjoyed your most recent podcast with Jacqueline (who seemed very insightful) and agreed with her take on Bennett. She said just what I had been thinking all along – Noah hasn’t done anything wrong, and Bennett comes across as a jerk. I love that people loved the Jacqueline interview. She’s one of my favorites. So insightful. Could talk to her for hours.

I see Bennett as both entitled and insecure. It seems like he’s both jealous of Noah and contemptuous of him. Do you agree? I imagine the entitled part of Bennett’s brain is like, “How dare Noah dare aspire to my level by believing he could actually win the same girl I’m competing for!” And at the same time, he seems to have a deep insecurity that’s leading him to obsess on Noah and try to push Noah down to make himself feel better.

Honestly, I don’t think Bennett is self-aware enough to even know he’s doing this out of jealousy. It could be that all he consciously experiences is the entitlement and contempt that papers over his jealousy. Who knows – I’m obviously basing all this only on what he’s done on a TV show, but man, he’s said and done a lot of things focused on Noah.

I don’t think I could sit there as calmly as Noah whole some blowhard droned on about how great he was and how horrible I was. Could you?? Kudos to Noah for being so calm through that! He reminds me of a longtime friend of mine who is now an ER doctor. She was able to stay extremely calm in the face of other people’s craziness even when we were in high school – not much fazed her. Maybe that ability to stay calm is what helps make Noah a successful nurse. I think there’s definitely a major insecurity on Bennett’s part towards Noah. There’s no other explanation for why he’s acting the way he did.

Anyway, I’m going to take a random turn here and ask something that you might have answered before: How can the Bachelor/Bachelorette handle kissing so many people? Do you think they see themselves as actors in a part and feel they have to kiss way more people than they are attracted to? Are any of them worried about getting herpes?! Seriously! I can’t imagine this because I would never want to kiss all those people, and I just don’t get it. To each his own, I guess, but sometimes I really cringe when I see the lead making out with some guy I’m sure she probably isn’t into. I’d never be able to handle being on that show! ? It didn’t seem to be this extreme in the past, but in recent seasons it seems like the lead makes out with everyone.

Comment: Well, everyone’s tested pre-show. I think they know they’re in a role where they have to perform. And that’s one of the “duties” so to speak, that you have to perform. Making out with multiple people. I don’t think these leads think twice about it, honestly.

Have you heard negative things about Bennett from people from his past? I wonder if he is a jackass in real life or if he is just playing it up for the cameras. If he wants to make a big deal about Noah being 25, I hope he realizes that most of the women on paradise will be much closer to Noah’s age than they will be to his.

Comment: Other than he called off his engagement last year and she was pretty caught off guard, no. Haven’t heard much else.

And he will 1000% be on Paradise next summer. Count on it. I doubt age matters to him.

Hey Steve,

Thanks for all that you do. I really love reading your site and listening to your various podcast guests. I have a question for you on Chris Lane. I remember the stories Jen Saviano shared about him when you had her on your podcast, so I am curious if you have heard any new info on him (positive or negative) since he has been with Lauren that changed your perception of him. They seem very happy together so I am hoping he changed his past bad behaviors.

Comment: I haven’t heard much since then. And even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.

Hey Steve!

Just submitting some Reader E-mail questions.

You’ll have to excuse me if some of this has been covered recently – between working full time, being in school full time and having a toddler, my brain is typically mush come evening.

1) Do you know what happened to the WetPaint website? They used to be my go-to for non-bachelor related gossip haha They went out of business a while ago. Wasn’t a high traffic site.

2) You typically have a pretty strong opinion on if you think a lead and their final one will/won’t last, and often you put a timeframe on their relationship. I notice you haven’t done that for Clare/Dale. Wondering if you think they could last? I think with any final couple, it’s whatever until one of them moves to be with the other one. Until then, even though they got engaged on the show, to me they’re just dating.

3) Was there anyone from Clare/Tayshia’s season that you ONLY heard GOOD things about (or at least, minimally bad hah)? Not really.

4) Who is the podcast guest that you have had on that surprised you the MOST? Not necessarily in terms of “bombs dropped”, but just in terms of either being more genuine than anticipated, being more outspoken than anticipated, etc. I was thinking about this since someone asked me recently, and when I had Shannon Robinson on this summer, that really stuck out to me. Finished 3rd on the first season of the show, and she was really great to listen to. Not only for nostalgic purposes, but just sharing her life story and everything that’s happened to her in the last few years. Gut wrenching, really. Go listen if you haven’t.

5) You once said you felt that you were getting to an age where children were out of the question. Wondering if you still feel that way, or if things have changed since Kat? 🙂

Comment: You know what’s funny? I write so many words per week, and do podcasts every week, and did IG lives for 8 months once a week until recently. A lot of the time I completely forget what comes out of my mouth. I kinda remember saying that, but I don’t think I worded it like that. I think what I remember saying was at my age, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that maybe it won’t happen for me, and that’s ok. If it does, great. If it doesn’t, I’d be ok as well. At my age, no, they aren’t out of the question for me. But it’s not a deal breaker for me one way or the other. Whereas before, I think it was.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.



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