Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Your Responses to Yesterday’s Post, & My Thoughts on the Last 2 Nights Episodes

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

First of all, I just want to say that I totally supported you bringing Josh on your podcast. Did he sound a little bitter at the time? Sure. Tayshia bringing up their marriage problems over the last two years has negatively affected his business, and he has every right to defend himself. Think about all the people in these past contestants’ lives that get no say in whether or not THEIR personal details are revealed, it’s sad. For example, I was angered when he brought up on TV about his ex’s miscarriage of their baby, that’s fantasy suite talk!

Tayshia has given so many details about her marriage, both on and off the show (there was infidelity, other issues that weren’t my fault, he was my first boyfriend, intimacy issues, etc ) that shouldn’t have been given. If she said that she had trust issues from past relationships or that she got divorced from her first love, that would have been fine to say since it was vague. I think that once people hear “infidelity,” they are IMMEDIATELY turned off to someone. So people, especially those with their Tayshia blinders on, immediately go into the podcast with preconceived notions.

Sorry that this email is so long, I know you don’t want to keep talking about this, especially to people that refuse to listen, but I just wanted to let you know that I supported you, and to know that I understand that this show not only affects contestants, but affects those in the contestants lives.

Hi Steve! I am absolutely shocked by the reaction to the interview you did with Josh. I did exactly what you asked, I listened to it with an open mind, thankfully before I looked at any of the comments. I thought it was one of your best interviews, and one of the most interesting, and I immediately wanted to show my support for Josh’s honesty, his self-reflection, and for getting to hear the other side of the story. And then I read the comments… Holy s***. Even on Facebook, in reaction to the US Weekly article about it, I would say it’s 98% negative feedback. I think because I had listened to your interview last week with Jacqueline, I was able to really appreciate Josh ‘s candor, and I just kept thinking of what Jacqueline said, that we shouldn’t be defined by our one mistake (depending on what that mistake is, obviously). I do not condone cheating under any circumstances, but I think he had a right to share his side. I feel like on the internet lately, people have their perspective and they absolutely refuse to look at a different perspective. Everyone wants to be “right”. It’s one thing to disagree with a person’s perspective, but to spew hate towards you for conducting the interview and allowing us to hear both sides? Even I got a hateful message on Twitter just because I appreciated the interview. So many people are doing what the show wants them to do – labeling. Josh is the villian, Michelle, Olivia, the list goes on and on. People need to learn from their mistakes, and grow from them. I would definitely like to hear a whole lot more from Tayshia. I am sure she is a very complex person but people keep saying over and over again (and I agree) that we don’t really know much about her feelings on a lot of things.

I also want to take a moment to say how deeply sorry I am for Ashley and her husband’s unimaginable loss. I will always remember CJ.

Hi Steve,

I respect the decision to speak with Josh Bourelle, it made for an interesting podcast. In theory, I would agree with Josh in just wanting to live privately & not be drug into Bachelor Nation, but in this specific case I really don’t see how Tayshia has prevented him from living privately. While I know the infidelity was mentioned, she hasn’t been unnecessarily bringing it up constantly, or expanding on that and calling him toxic, manipulative, or a serial cheater. In the context it was shown, I had already assumed the marriage was not going great and then there was a cheating incident and they just couldn’t work it out. Was I in the minority thinking that?? Most viewers didn’t even know his name, and now more people definitely do — the opposite of what he said he wants, so good luck to him.

Brilliant interview with Josh Bourelle. The low IQ’s of the Bachelor Nation fan base are reflected in the negative comments you’re receiving. I’m sure there are numerous Trumpists in Bachelor Nation and its fan base. Must be tough reporting to this audience – your tolerance is admirable.

I love that Josh did the interview with you rather than get paid for it.
I thought the interview was relevant for the exact reasons he stated for doing the interview.

His reputation was being dragged because Tayshia was lying on national tv.

Tayshia lied – full stop. Their marriage didn’t end because he cheated – Tayshia was coasting in a relationship, letting Josh support her while she did little – he had told her he wanted out.

The Bachelor Nation tv shows attract female cast that are Tayshia types – coasting in life/career relying on fans to support them.

Even Rachel Lindsay (who I respected for calling Garrett a “piece of shit”) sold her soul when she interviewed Donald Trump Jr.

I’m only writing because it pisses me off when a guy defends himself and people hammer you for assisting him.

You have always shown integrity.

Hey Steve,

I listened to last week’s podcast with Josh and then listened to you on Olivia’s podcast this morning (big fan of both of you). When I listened to your podcast last week, I found it interesting to hear Josh’s side and didn’t think much further on it. Then this morning, I was shocked to learn that you had been receiving hate about it and to hear Olivia’s strong view disagreeing with you. I guess I agree with both of you. Does Tayshia have the right to say she was cheated on and that led to the divorce? Yes. Can Josh also publicly share his thoughts on the end of their marriage? Yes. Do I think cheating is ever okay? No. Do I think Josh should never be able to move past that mistake? No. Did I think that Tayshia was talking about an affair when she said it on the show? Yes. I guess my point is that all these things can be true. They can both say their side of the story and I don’t know how that paints either of them, or you for being the platform, as wrong. It’s a messy situation. I think Josh could’ve spoken better on the podcast, but I also think if he was really trying to capitalize he would’ve gone to a tabloid. I also think it’s fine for Tayshia to mention that there was infidelity in her marriage on a show where she is looking to get engaged at the end of it because I imagine to her that was a big part to why it ended. For the record, I’ve never been cheated on or cheated on anyone so maybe that would change my perspective? Also, I don’t love or hate Tayshia so maybe that would change my perspective as well. Either way, I think anyone in your position and platform would’ve done the interview. Listeners can fault Josh but they don’t need to fault you. It’s separate.

Hello Steve,

I’m not sure if your judgment is clouded by your obvious favoritism towards Claire but it is so unnecessary to continue to attack Tayshia. You say you need proof-

You don’t say anything negative about Claire (when there is plenty valid points) yet every podcast you say something negative about Tayshia.

You have continued to try to villainize her. Giving a platform to her disgruntled and manipulative ex is a new low. There is more to the relationship then he conveniently left out and Tayshia has respectfully omitted from the narrative. Her ex is vile.

Disappointed in the way you used your platform.

Comment: *Clare.

Tayshia has every right to talk about her past. He cheated there was no lie.

You had this disgruntled ex only to make tayshia look bad.

Have empathy towards the first woman of color.

Hi Steve!

I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’re getting so much hate for simply talking to Tayshia’s ex. People are so nuts these days!!! No matter how much someone loves Tayshia, why shouldn’t her ex be able to tell his side? I admire the guy for waiting until now to come forward!

I don’t really understand how people could hate on you for this. I listened to the entire podcast with Josh and it’s not like he came forward and just shit talked Tayshia the entire time and dropped 10 embarassing secrets about her! People need to grow up.

Your true followers will stick around, don’t worry about the rest. If people are done with you because of this, then good riddance to them.

Hi Steve!

Just a few quick thoughts, but first I wanted to say thanks for giving us as much info as you could on this crazy season. Most of us who follow your site regularly (and who are level-headed, non-toxic people) understand that this IS your full-time job and that you really do your best to give us as credible of information as you can. We get it, and we’re grateful! You make this show WAY more fun than it would be without the behind-the-scenes, background, and spoiler info you give us year in and year out. You’re the coolest and we appreciate you!

Also, I may be in the minority here, but I personally thought it was awesome that you had Josh on your podcast and allowed him the chance to speak his truth. I listened to everything he had to say, and I really felt that he was trying to give a little background into why their marriage didn’t work out overall. There is always more to a story than just “they cheated.” (Even though cheating is, of course, very wrong.) There are two sides to every story, and he probably knows Tayshia better than anyone other than her own family members. I thought it was fair that he got a chance to express his side a little bit. Anyone who actually listened to the ENTIRE interview with him, with an open mind, would’ve seen what he was trying to convey. It’ll be interesting to see if Tayshia decides or is “allowed” by producers to make any kind of response to the things he said.

Hi Steve,

Just listened to the podcast with Olivia…sorry you are getting so much flack on the Josh interview. I enjoyed listening to it very much.

Many moons ago I heard a statement that Dr. Phil uses and have applied it to most of my life.

“There is no reality, just perception….”

I think this applies to the Tayshia and Josh situation. They each have their own perception of the events of their marriage; that does not mean it is reality but they each have the right to express their perception. Open minded people should be able to listen.

Steve, I love Olivia, and I love your podcasts with her. But I haven’t even finished listening yet and I feel like my head is going to explode. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone in terms of how people are reacting to your podcast with Josh. I do not understand what people are saying. I thought he made himself perfectly clear that Tayshia is taking the easy way out by summing up their seven year relationship by saying that he cheated on her and that is the only information she shared over and over again. Has she said anything about what it was like to be married? What she feels like it’s like to be a wife? I just want her to have a little bit of self-reflection. Of course it’s not her fault that he cheated on her and of course she didn’t deserve to be cheated on, but I really appreciated you giving Josh the opportunity to share his side of the story, to show how he has learned from his mistakes, how he has moved on with his life, and to explain why he feels like he’s being portrayed as this villain, and why he thinks it’s unfair. I just do not understand why people do not see things the way we do.

I do wonder though, how many people listened to your podcast with Jacqueline the week before your podcast with Josh. Because some of the things she said definitely came to mind as I listened to your podcast with Josh. I really like Jacqueline too. The only thing I disagreed with her about was hearing from Jed’s ex-girlfriend. She was another one who I felt deserved to share her story. I did not feel bad for Jed at all. I felt bad for Hannah Brown in that situation and Jed’s ex.

Also, I know it’s been a few weeks since you and Ashley were talking about contestants who may be bisexual or have a background in porn. I definitely think that every lead should be able to say whether they are open to dating someone with that kind of past or not. I don’t think you watched Love is Blind from what I remember, but there was a situation on that show where two of the contestants got engaged and then the male contestant revealed that he was bisexual and had had prior relationships with other men. The female, his fiancee, couldn’t handle that and you can’t really blame her. I actually know that a contestant who was released for a former season of bachelorette, had just gotten out of a same sex relationship. He did not end up making the final cast and I am assuming it was because the producers found out. If that is the case, I think they definitely made the right decision because I don’t think that would be fair to the lead if they are not open to being with someone who has had that experience.

Finally, I am so tired of people saying that you went easy on Clare and that you’re not going easy on Tayshia. Clare got so much hatred online and she’s the only bachelorette who’s been on your podcast twice. You have said absolutely nothing negative about Tayshia, yet if one of your comments is even perceived as not being positive people tell you that you so obviously hate her and that you’re a racist. That is absolutely insane to me!

Hi Steve,

Long time fan! But I NEVER write reviews or do social media. I was impressed enough today to write.

Kudos to you on the Josh interview. He sounds like a stand up guy and you kept the interview very respectful. I think he choose the best platform to express his frustrations! And the fact that he didn’t get paid makes it even more palatable.

If you can, please share my comments with Josh to assure him not everyone thinks poorly of him!

Hi Steve!

I just listened to part of the podcast with Olivia at the end. I jumped to the ending about Josh because I was really curious. Olivia sounds super triggered in the interview. I feel she’s not able to look at the situation from an outside perspective at all because of her bad experiences. I love Olivia’s podcast and was surprised by her black and white stance. She herself says she likes to use her platform to interview “villains” as she feels they should be allowed to tell their side of the story. Sounds like she’s had a tough go with relationships and Imma send her some love because it is hard to get through, as I know personally.

As for your podcast, honestly, I don’t know why people are so angry about it. I love Tayshia, and after hearing the podcast, I still love her. I have been cheated on before and it was hella hurtful. I’m not defending Josh!! Just saying that people can change and grow and I think that’s what he was trying to get across. It would suck to do all that work on yourself and then have people googling you and the first thing that comes up was Tayshia’s ex-husband, cheater.

I too, when I heard there was infidelity in Taysia’s marriage, I thought oh, he was having an affair. I listened to that podcast and was like, yeah, it sounds like he just wanted to explain that the cheating was a symptom of a bigger picture and how he got to the point of where he cheated on her. That he felt remorse afterwards, knew it was wrong, and that he’s changed a lot since and worked on himself a lot and that he learned from the mistake. Because people are going to say “once a cheater, always a cheater.” And I think he was saying, no, I made a bad mistake, I’m sorry I did it, I learned from it. To me, I took the podcast more about him, saying he wasn’t in a good place (and giving context of the issues that were in his marriage from his perspective as to why he wasn’t in a good place) and that’s how he go to that point and that he’s not that same person. He said over and over that he wishes her well.

And yeah, the comment about dating 25 guys was dumb. Those guys are agreeing to date her at the same time. But I think what you said on Olivia’s podcast about him not really understanding the show gave context to that comment.

From what we are getting of Tayshia, it doesn’t seem like she’s talking at all about how she’s moved on/grown after the marriage. BUT it could be that she’s talking all about this and it’s not being shown. I have no doubt that Tayshia was really hurt by what Josh did. I’d love to hear more about how Tayshia has grown from the situation…instead we are just getting the sad story. Maybe that’s the editing. And I think that was one of Josh’s points too, about the sad story. Be it Tayshia, or the way it’s edited, it’s not giving any context.

I think if Tayshia is allowed to go on TV and bring up the fact that her ex-husband cheated on her, it should be allowed that her ex-husband can talk about his experience in the marriage. Tayshia chose to talk about it in a public place. If she’s allowed to say my marriage ended because of infidelity, then Josh is allowed to talk about what the infidelity consisted of and what went wrong in his perspective.

I still love Tayshia! She’s bubbly and fun and sweet. The podcast just made me think, ah, she’s human. Sounds like they both didn’t know themselves and weren’t a good fit. I don’t think it makes her a bad person to know that she wasn’t compatible with her ex-husband. Honestly, to me that makes her more relatable because it’s like, she’s been out in the world and experienced things. I would love to hear more about her growth and learning about herself.

So yeah, just wanted to tell you that I found it an interesting podcast with Josh and think he had the right to say his perspective, Olivia probs needs some gentleness right now, and I still support Tayshia and hope that she find someone she’s really compatible with.

Anyway, my two cents. Thanks for listening, Steve! And thanks for all that you do!

Hey Steve,

I’ve never written in before but I’ve been following you and enjoying your content for a few years now. I don’t actually watch the show, I just read your stuff, watch clips and listen to podcasts. None of it would really be that interesting for me if it weren’t for you. I prefer to read and listen than watch tv… anyway, I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed your podcast with Josh Bourelle and then your discussion of it on Olivia’s Mouthing Off Podcast. I completely agree with your take of it, and I can also see where Olivia is coming from. I thought it was such an interesting discussion with Olivia. I wanted to jump in there with you guys and say to Olivia that I think Josh wanted to express that Tayshia’s behaviour in the relationship had a big part in their breakup and it wasn’t just the cheating that ended the relationship. He wanted to express that side of the story and I think it’s great that you let him do that. I think anyone that says any breakup is only one person’s fault is mistaken. (Not that Tayshia was actually saying that, but the edit seemed to imply that it was mostly/all Josh’s fault) There are 2 people in a relationship and they each affect the relationship. Owning your side of it is important for growth, and to be able to have healthy relationships in the future. I think it’s possible that Josh is wondering if Tayshia even realizes the part she played in the demise of the relationship and he wanted to express how he saw it and perhaps help her understand as well.

I also agree with your and Josh’s point that by saying “there was infidelity” it makes it seem like it was probably an affair. I didn’t give much conscious thought to it, but I probably subconsciously thought “what a dick”. The situation that Josh explained was not as bad as it seemed on tv, and I don’t think Josh is a dick anymore after hearing his side of the story.

I do want to say that I’ve never cheated, but I have been cheated on. It was in a relationship from when I was 19-25 and he cheated more than once. I’m 36 now I spent a lot a years being very angry about it, but I also spent a lot of time and energy to heal myself from it. I’m in a wonderful relationship now with my husband and we have a beautiful baby. So I guess I’m not triggered by it anymore but I do find discussion of infidelity extremely interesting. I was fascinated to hear from the perspective of someone who had cheated. Not something you hear often. So thank you.

I think I do understand Olivia’s perspective where she was saying maybe she’s just too triggered by the cheating aspect. I think if the infidelity in my life had been fresher/ more recent or if I was still angry about it, maybe I would have felt angry or negatively toward your Josh episode. Olivia seemed to be saying: he cheated, he’s a cheater, what more is there to say? And you and Josh are saying, well there’s a lot more to say: there’s his whole side of the story, that’s why he’s on the podcast. Maybe that’s why your getting so much flack, because it’s triggering people’s pain.

Also I think it’s great that you didn’t edit the part about Josh saying it’s hypocritical of Tayshia because she’s dating 25 guys. You don’t edit your podcasts, why would you start now? You share the raw conversation. This is what he wanted to say and he said it. He would have told you if he didn’t think you should share it. How are you supposed to know what people are going to be upset about? Who cares if they’re upset? Haters gonna hate I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed it all, and I agree you your view of the situation.

Last question:
Wanna makeout y/n

(Just kidding I’m married)

Hi Steve,
Longtime reader/follower, first time email.

I totally APPRECIATE your work because it’s like peeking behind the curtain and exposing the “wizard” for who he really is! I love that Josh chose to talk to you because you’re a “down-to-earth, no bullshit” kinda guy.

I love seeing and hearing and reading the TRUTH about the Bachelor/Bachelorette “reality” series.

I’ve watched every season because I’m a big fan, but I don’t like the twisted manipulation of how the producers try to create drama. You help fans like me get the whole picture, instead of believing the illusion that producers try to make us believe.

I love Tayshia but I respect Josh’s story because he was being portrayed as the villain in her life. It’s great to hear his side. I’m grateful you gave him that platform and you gave him an opportunity that shows him in a better light than if he went to a tabloid.

I liked Josh’s message “I don’t wanna keep reliving the past”. I liked that you were fair and gave us the whole story.

Thank you!


Sad to hear that Olivia was cheated on- it’s horrible when it happens to anyone! That does not, however mean all people who make that mistake should be made a public spectacle (being mentioned redundantly) and refused the right to have one darn interview.

My sister in law cheated on my brother with literally over 10 guys. All the while she was having baby after baby and it was a huge disaster- I almost called in to he said/she said to talk to y’all about how to handle it but was concerned for privacy reasons. All that say, after paternity tests, a private detective, and lots of fancy footwork, he’s happily divorced (hooray!) these days and has full custody of the kids.

Granted, that was a freaking whackadoodle situation. But when someone says “infidelity” I’m picturing multiple people involved or a long term affair. I’m certainly not picturing one incident with one woman and he tells on himself hours after she gets home. I believe Josh’s point was this: it takes two people to build a marriage and two people to wreck a marriage. Please stop announcing that one person and one person only was to blame!! He has a right to say that.

The guy kept his mouth shut for literally years while she’s painting him in a particular light. He does one interview and people are blowing their tops off. This is a cultural thing that we are all dealing with right now. If enough people agree that you are deemed “wrong” then you have to shut up and take it or they attack you like a beehive. They’ll get over it and move on to their next “cause” when they tire of attacking this one.

The podcast gave him a voice. That’s why people are mad. They didn’t give him permission to have a voice. It’s ridiculous!!!!

I enjoy the pod. The reason I enjoy it is because you don’t follow the crowd. It stands on its own merit. Merry Christmas.


I understand you get a lot of pushback and negativity and part of your job is dealing with that. But I just want to say that I for one appreciate all you do. It is hard to get spoilers under these circumstances and there is no one else that is telling us anything.

I thought the post on the Reality Steve site today about your lack of clarity was honest, vulnerable and straightforward. It is easy for people to put you down. But you are doing your personal best and that is all you can do. I don’t think it is fair to hold you to a standard of getting the spoilers out in a specific time frame or being absolutely accurate with spoilers all the time. If someone else can do better, let’s hear it.

As far as the interview with Josh, Tayshia’s ex, I thought it was very appropriate. Tayshia has a platform to share her side of the story but Josh has none. She says she hasn’t mentioned his name but that is not helpful because as he said all someone needs to do is google it and his name comes up. It is negatively affecting his life, his reputation and the people he cares about. He has a right to speak out and give his side of the story and it was important for you to give him that platform.

Relationships are complicated and there are many layers. Josh admitted the affair was a mistake but there were also many deeper issues going on. I thought he did a good job explaining that. When Tayshia makes sweeping statements like “we broke up because of an affair” and does not address any of the deeper issues about what it takes to have a successful relationship, she is doing Josh a disservice and essentially throwing him under the bus which is patently unfair.

I hope in the future you continue to give people who don’t have a platform a chance to speak out. I think that is an important role that you play.

My personal theory is that people are sick of being in quarantine and need to take their frustration and anger out on someone so they choose you because you are an easy target. I hope that you don’t let the negativity weigh you down and know there are many people like me out there who really like your column and your podcasts.

I like having something to read and listen to where I can escape and there is no mention of coronavirus or politics. And if one of those topics is mentioned once in a while that is okay too. Plus I feel like you do a good job of giving us the background details of what is happening with the show that we don’t get a chance to see on TV.

Keep up the good work.



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