Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Your Responses to Yesterday’s Post, & My Thoughts on the Last 2 Nights Episodes

Photo Credit: ABC

Hello Steve,

Keep up the good work brotha! I was wondering how Covid effected the casting process moving forward. Has the cast for the next Bachelorette season been finalized yet or has the overall process been delayed? Not sure what the normal casting process is like but would love your insight!


Comment: I wouldn’t think so. They’re casting year round. I think the only thing that’s different during COVID is they aren’t flying everyone to LA for meetings or final casting weekend. It’s all being done on Zoom calls. But they should be right on track since “Bachelorette” filming will begin the week of Matt’s finale if they stay on schedule with what they’ve done the last 14 seasons (minus Clare’s which was set to begin March 13th). Matt’s finale should be March 15th, unless they decide to do a 2-night finale, then we’re looking at the 16th.

Hey Steve! Been reading your site for years and can’t watch the show without your spoilers now. Just curious, I remember you posted an article on Twitter saying Hannah Ann was spotted at La Quinta. What was that about? Was she part of a group date like Becca but then cut out in post production? Will we see her in future episodes?

Thanks I’m advance!

Comment: We don’t know. She’s not on this season as I reported before the season began. Although, she did post something on IG yesterday or the day before, where you can clearly see she did some sort of photo shoot at La Quinta. I was told before the season started airing that she wasn’t on any of the group dates and she wasn’t part of the show. Which makes me think she was brought there to throw people off. I mean, you can’t deny the second everyone saw her there, immediately people were jumping to the conclusions she was the “Bachelorette” or this was a Paradise situation, which never made sense at all.

Hi! This season, interviews are being done with eliminated contestants while the show is airing. I think someone mentioned that this is “new” and hadn’t been done before. I seem to remember that many seasons back it WAS done. There were extensive interviews by a site that I believe was called Reality World. Am I correct about this or am I thinking of a different reality show?

Thanks for answering!

Comment: No, you’re correct. The show would take one, sometimes two, of the eliminated contestants every week, and they’d go on a media conference call where different outlets got to answer questions as the PR person was on the line as well and shot down any questions they didn’t want the contestant answering. That hasn’t been done in years though.

One funny story: years ago, I happened to be on one of those conference calls just listening in because, well, lets just say someone let me listen in after they called in and joined me in on 3 way. I was never gonna ask a question because you have to identify yourself and state your name and what outlet you represent. Anyway, I don’t even remember what season it was, or what contestant I was listening to because it was so long ago, but some member of the media mentioned my name in their question, and the PR person immediately shot it down, told the contestant not to answer that, and moved on to the next question. I felt proud.

Hey Steve,

Love your spoilers and your recaps etc. Thanks for all the hard work!
This question may have been asked before, but are there any Bachelor/Bachelorette’s that Chris and/or production didn’t like or had a real problem working with? I know Juan Pablo was not a favourite, but just wondered if there were any others.

Comment: I think Chris has said in the past Charlie O’Connell and Prince Lorenzo. Juan Pablo as well, yes.

Hi Steve

Did you see the clip of Tayshia on Ellen where she picked Zach as the most likely to be husband material in a game? I found that interesting given she reportedly picks him, and Ellen called her out on it. Awkward. Yeah, I did. You can easily play devils advocate and reason why she said it if she’s with Zac, or why she said it if she’s not with him. So the answer didn’t mean much to me. It’s all just speculation to fuel one’s own personal bias of who they want her with.

I read your spoiler that Brendan leaves on his own and she was most into him. Do you know if she reached out to him again after the show ended? On the other hand, this could go down like Desiree’s season where we all thought Chris was a consolation prize after Brooks’ departure, and they end up getting married and living happily ever after. This email was sent before yesterday’s post. So in case you haven’t already, I’d go read that.

Following Ben and Zach’s revelations on their struggles with mental health and addiction, I hope Tayshia realizes the weight of her decisions with the final two. If she was not ready to commit to either, I hope she does not drag them along for the sake of the show. She comes across as kind and genuine, but, on the other hand, her ambition is to be Insta-famous.

I look forward to seeing how this all unfolds.

Comment: How dare you! Did you just say Tayshia is out for Insta fame? Based on what? Can you prove this? Why do you have to be so mean? Why do you hate her so much? And you know what, that comment has racist undertones to it, and I don’t appreciate it. It’s probably why you’re single and miserable.

Sorry. Flashbacks.

Hey Steve – I couldn’t agree more with your take on Bennett and his line about how he’s different from everyone else in the house was so elitist that it literally nauseated me.

I also found it interesting when Noah got emotional while telling Tayshia that no one should have to be made to feel less than and that eventually Bennett would do the same to her. That was truly underrated, both as an insight and a self-reveal. I think Noah got a bit choked up in that moment not just on Tayshia’s behalf, but also because it just feels like **** to be treated like you’re less than by some entitled, privileged Harvard grad with a smirk on his face. Being trapped in a resort with Bennett focused on demeaning him constantly must have been exhausting.

I also think Noah should get some credit for his EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT comment about what was likely to happen to Tayshia if she actually got involved with Bennett. Do you really think he doesn’t see himself as better than her too? How long would it take before that condescending attitude was directed her way? I’m guessing not long!

I wonder what you think about that comment and whether you agree with Noah?

Comment: I’ve gone back and forth on this comment. No, not a fan of the way Bennett talked down to people. Especially Noah. Is it a 100% given, guaranteed lock that because he spoke to Noah that way he’d treat Tayshia that way? Not necessarily. Is it a red flag? Yeah, I’d say so. But one doesn’t automatically equal the other.

I thought seeing Ivan chime in on the Noah/Bennett debate while the MTA was happening says a lot. We all seem to respect Ivan’s opinion and he seems like a stand up dude, no? Here’s what he thought of Bennett:

So take that as you will.

Hey Steve!

Every season you receive info about the contestants on the show. Who does this info come from and what types of things do you hear?

For example, is it only ex relationship info? Ex friends? Stories about wild college times? I wonder who these people are, coming out of the past and sharing.

Would love to hear some of the crazy things AND not crazy things you’ve been told!

Comment: I’d say 95% of the stuff I hear I don’t report. Anything you can think of, I’ve heard it. All sorts of things. Sex issues, who does drugs, who was a bitch, who’s a liar/manipulator/horrible person, etc. The list goes on.

Has there been any discussion about how inappropriate and ‘not ok’ it was for Ben to strip down during the art date? Ever since that episode, I’ve been very bothered by how that was romanticized and a nod to him being ‘vulnerable.’ It is dangerous to present this narrative as though that is acceptable, swoon worthy behavior. A man should not think it is ok to essentially expose himself on a date. That was not an environment or circumstance that gave any indication that would be an appropriate thing to do. Imagine being on a date in real life and someone catching you off guard like that. Just as it was not ok for that guy to grab Clare, we shouldn’t think it’s ok for a man to expose himself without any expressed consent. I also think there is a bias towards Ben. Let’s just imagine if Blake or Ed did that…it would be seen as incredibly creepy and uncalled for.

Comment: Yeah, I agree the person who did it played in a role in how it was portrayed. No, it wasn’t the proper setting for that. But this show has perpetuated unacceptable behavior for 40 seasons. We can just add this to their list.

Hey Steve,

Loved this week’s podcast! It was nice hearing the other side of both stories, especially as someone that recently got into BB. I’m sure, as always, the truth is somewhere in between but I like how Tayshia’s husband seemed to present his side without being overly negative about her or defensive.

I’m sorry to hear about Kat – I hope you both feel comfortable enough to do a cross over podcast again in the future. You guys were really fun to listen to! Thanks. Kat and I will always be friends. Maybe at some point down the road we will.

Here’s my random question. Since you mentioned you’re still in touch with Kat, and she recently had Christmas on her podcast, I wanted to see if there was any way Kat could ask Christmas where she got that star sweater she wore all the time on the show. I know, I know, it’s weird and random but my friend is obsessed with that sweater and it would be amazing if I could surprise her with it. (We’ve tried reaching out to Christmas via Twitter and Insta and no dice).

Anyway, thanks again for all you do! Bummed about the party getting canceled this year but hopefully next year!

Comment: I would suggest asking Kat yourself. Only because I’m sure you’ll get a quicker response than coming to me, me asking her, her answering me, me answering you back. Unfortunately, once I cut and paste all the emails in “Reader Emails,” I delete them. So I don’t even know who sent this anymore. Email or DM her and I bet she gets back to you.

Hello Steve,

I discovered you because of The Bachelorette and have been listening to the Podcasts for about a year. I remember you mentioning you’re a fan of Survivor. My husband and I have gotten into watching Survivor again for the first time in almost a decade. Knowing what I know about producer influence from you on The Bachelorette, I wonder if there’s similar influences in Survivor? Do you know of the amount of producer influence in Survivor?

Comment: I don’t know enough about the inner workings of Survivor. Yes, I do think producers push narrative on that show, but that’s a different show than the Bachelor because it’s a game show for a million dollars. There’s a completely different end game in place. So I don’t think production would ever be able to get away with what they do on the Bachelor.

However, with that said, I heard back in the day on Bachelor Pad, which was a game that ultimately had a cash prize, production absolutely intervened during the voting process and influenced votes so certain people would be eliminated and certain ones would stick around. So I guess anything is possible.

Hey Steve hope you are staying safe. Just fyi a false rumor going around online olive garden is closing. FAKE NEWS! I know you are a fan. What should I try there again when life goes back to normal? I’m 99% percent sure you said tour of Italy a million times already….

Stay safe!!!

Again when things are normal you have to go to nemacolin it’s amazing!

Comment: Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Don’t you dare say that again.

Yes, the Tour of Italy. Or the chicken parm. Or the fettucine alfredo with chicken. The lasagna fritta is good too. Have you tried the basic rigatoni with meatballs? Ok, I’ll stop now.

Hey Steve,

I have been one that’s sorta excited for Matt’s season. I want to know more about him since he’s never been on before so I follow him. His coming home after the show finished filming has been less than stellar to me. Traveling all over and then smashing a cake his best friend and mom got him into his friends face is immature at best. Ungrateful and classless. I get they’re very bro together and they seem like old frat boys but it doesnt come off as a good guy ready to settle down with his one. I know this show isnt really about that anyways but ultimately isnt that what we hope for as viewers that it does work out? To keep getting more Jojo’s and Jordan’s out of it. I’m definitely not seeing any maturity out of him yet but I am a new follower so maybe I’m wrong. I’d love for him to be ready and be one of the good ones especially with making history being the first male lead of color on the show. I’m here for that but is he? What do you think? Is Matt actually ready to settle down or just out there for clout like so many others?

Comment: Don’t you dare speak about Clout James like that! Totally unnecessary. Don’t you understand how important it was for him to visit 5 states in the past 3 weeks since filming ended hanging out with a bunch of different people? Show some respect, would you? And you know what, why do you have to hate on him so much? You must be jealous of him.

Hi Steve – stumbled on your website earlier this year, love it! I’ve been watching The Bachelor & Bachelorette for years and the one thing I’ve noticed on every season is the vocal fry they all do – guys & girls. Is that just something 20 year old’s do or are they told to speak that way? In particular JoJo – I couldn’t even finish watching her season the vocal fry was so annoying, but now it seems she’s changed, or grown up, or finally cleared her throat, I don’t know, but thankfully she doesn’t seem to have that vocal fry thing going on anymore. However, Tayshia has it! Grrr….

Just wondering if you’ve noticed this over the years, or maybe it’s just my pet peeve, haha. Thanks for all you do – keep up the great work!

Comment: I guess I’d need you to be more specific, since not everyone’s is the same. I mean, yeah, we are dealing with mostly people in their 20’s on this show. So you’re gonna get a lot of it.

You might not pay attention to the lead’s clothes (I’m guessing that’s more of a girl thing to notice), but I have to say that Tayshia’s wardrobe is the best I can remember of any lead. Even her shoes and accessories are on point. And it seems like she can pull off literally any color (and she’s wearing so many bright/different colors). Anyways, just made me wonder:

(1) is it the same stylist every season or are there different stylists? Same stylist. Cary Fetman.
(2) how much say does the stylist have in what the lead wears vs. how much say does the lead have on the wardrobe and what’s worn on any given date/rose ceremony? They present the lead with a shit ton of clothes and the lead picks out what they like/suits them the best. Outside of that bizarre ensemble she wore to the group date after party last week that was part shorts, part gown that had a long train in the back, Tayshia’s wardrobe this season has definitely been on point.
(3) how many suits do the male contestants bring with them? It seams (pun intended— I know it’s spelled “seems”—see what I did there) to me that it would be a lot easier to repeat rose ceremony suits for the guys as opposed to repeating a dress for the girls. I’m just thinking that if I were a guy on this show, I wouldn’t drop thousands on new suits— just bring a couple and rotate out different shirts and no one will ever notice.

Comment: Absolutely. In a season assuming you reached the end, I believe it’s 10 rose ceremonies total. You don’t need 10 suits for this show. You probably need 4-5. You just need 10-15 different shirt/tie combos. So yeah, much easier for a guy’s wardrobe on this show than a womans.

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  1. idontcare

    December 17, 2020 at 5:01 PM

    Whoa. Some of those responses from Steve to emailers were about 100 times more vicious than anything they said to apparently incur his anger. That was scary and I could not date someone who responds in that way. I was gonna chalk it up to Steve getting a lot a backlash himself lately but now, I don’t know.

  2. idontcare

    December 17, 2020 at 5:07 PM

    What I just wrote above. It seems strange for things to change in my mind literally overnight from what I posted just yesterday defending Steve:
    “ I don’t care if the ending is right or wrong either. What’s wrong is dragging Steve when he is courteous enough to give us anything at all. But “ it’s his job”! That doesn’t give anyone the right to tell him how to do his job or to be infallible at it. He’s only human. I appreciate what he does. Stop it you morons! Haha!” I really don’t understand his overreactions. I just hope things get better for Steve.

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