Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Imposter Accounts, & Latest News I’m Hearing on Clayton’s Season

Hi Steve – totally missed getting this in for this weeks column; the whole no show Monday night only Tuesday night thing has me all messed up. Anyway…

This is my first time watching BIP, despite watching Bachelor/Bachelorette for many many years. So I guess I’m a little confused on the ‘rules’. And yes I know there’s no rules, yadda yadda BUT still. If the reason for the ganging up on Chris/Alana/Brendan/Pieper was that they were ‘not open’, how is that different than the couples that are already basically committed – Joe/Serena or Riley/Maurissa, for example. I guess maybe the better comparison is Chris/Alana since Brendan/Pieper were pretty much established pre-show. Joe or Serena aren’t going to go on another date with anyone else, so why don’t they leave the beach? It just all seems strange to me. I understand the show ends with engagements, so at some point there are commitments and being ‘no longer open’, right?…so idk, maybe I just need to see how the rest of this plays out since it’s my first season watching but it just feels right now like there’s a little hypocrisy. Am I making sense?


Comment: I guess it just comes down to the fact the show wants engagements at the end of the season and they’ve gotten them every season. So shouldn’t any established couple leave the show? In theory, yes. But that’s not the show.

Hi, Steve. 2 quick questions for you:

1. Do you think production wanted to make an example out of Brenden and Pieper? It would be crazy to think that none of the other contestants ever talked about their IG following or making money post show. However, it makes me wonder why production chose to air the conversation between these two. Whose cereal did they piss in? Yes, other couples have done what Brendan and Pieper did and never been called out for it. I guess it was too juicy of a storyline not to pass up.

2. My second question, and probably the more important one is; where do you get your t-shirts? I always got a kick out of your 80s and 90s nostalgia shirts, but can’t find any good ones anywhere.

Thanks for the entertainment!

Comment: Why thank you. You don’t want to know how many I have. Just had another shipment yesterday. Would you think I’m crazy if I told you I think my tally is over 35 now? No? Ok, good. Because it is. There are a few sites: (the o’s are zeroes)

You’ll find everything you need there.

Hi Steve,

I enjoy reading and listening to your posts and podcasts. Have to say, I hope we have seen the last of Demi. First, because all is 100 percent fake with her, unlike most of the other women, who might be looking for publicity or followers also, but who still are a lot more genuine and authentically upset when things break up. And second, she is a hypocrite for attacking couples who are already in a relationship and then coming to the island with one person having lead someone on first, when she herself actually brought a woman -who wasn’t even from a show- on a previous season (and got engaged only to break it off after). Sure she had permission from the producers, and the whole lesbian thing was new and different, but still she brought her pre-existing girlfriend after starting something with a guy first before the girlfriend came. So, isn’t that the same thing about which she was accusing other people — already being in a relationship? Seems she’s a hypocrite to attack Brendon and Pieper … or am I missing something?

Comment: According to her it isn’t. She addressed this on her social media.


What happened to Mykenna and Alayah that showed up to the dance party? They have just disappeared. But Chelsea was at the rose ceremony and she came on as the same time as them? Slightly confusing what happened to them. The “rule” of that party was for the 4 girls to develop a connection with someone, and if they did, they get to eventually come to the island. Alayah I guess didn’t make a connection, so she never shows up again. Mykenna still comes on, but not for a couple more episodes.

Also, not really a question, more of a comment. I am slightly annoyed by Becca this season. She seems to always have some sort of comment for anything. When she gave Aaron the rose she’s like “It’s been a while since I’ve given one of these.” And when Thomas gave her the rose she’s again like “it’s been a while since I’ve gotten one of these.” Maybe it’s just me, but it’s kind of annoying. I just don’t see the point of her constantly reminding viewers of oh btw I’ve done this before and I’m going to keep bragging about it. It’s kind of funny because everyone else there has received/given roses and you don’t hear anyone else saying “it’s been a while since I’ve given one of these.” Rant over.

Comment: Fair point, but, I guess it annoys you more than others. That’s the first time I’ve heard that complaint. I’ve never really thought about it.

Hey Steve,

I’ve been on Social media for give or take 20 years and have 173 followers on Instagram and 517 friends on Facebook, all real actual friends of mine. Reading what you write it seems like the Bachelor(ette) people are making a living off off how many followers they have on Instagram and other sites. You have 277,000 followers on Instagram. Can you share how people with lots of followers actually make money and how much from social media? Is it lots? Should I try to get more followers? Is Facebook just sending you and all these other people a check every month?

Thanks, just trying to figure out how much losing 50,000 followers hurts Brenden in the wallet.

Comment: Well, it’s over 100k lost followers now for Brendan. Basically the more followers you have, the more engagement you seemingly have with them, and the more people are interested in your content. So advertisers capitalize on that since you have a built in audience that is following you because seemingly they like you. So if you pitch a product, your fan base is more likely to buy it because they like you, etc. Could you try and get more followers? Sure. But it’s not that easy. You have to have some sort of platform to grow it. If you’ve been on it 20 years and only have 173 followers on IG, you’d have to go a different route to start getting hundreds of thousands of followers, which isn’t easy to do.

Hey Steve,

I know I’m too late for this week, but hopefully you can get to this one next week.

I don’t remember anyone, anywhere addressing this and I just wanted to throw it out there. Aaron has really been giving me bad vibes. Like, why is it alright and no one is calling him out for calling Tammy trash? He’s just been giving it to her in ITM’s and other on camera or on mic moments. I mean look, he barely knew her and she barely knew him. He made out with another woman in front of her, but he’s going to spew his vitriol on her for doing the same thing? I kind of feel like if he had not freaked the hell out on her about it, they might have been able to resolve it and she would’ve ended up staying with him for the short term (cuz let’s face it, they were never in it for the long term). I think she ultimately chose Thomas because he was kind to her after Aaron made her feel like a “trash human being”. And speaking of being there for clout, look at Aaron, because he isn’t there for love. He’s there for the fight and the drama and I don’t appreciate at all how he talks about women and to women he has a problem with. I kinda hope Ivan decks him next week. It’d be good for him, I think. Because Brendan stole his thunder I assume.

I also have the same problem with Brendan. Who cares why he was there and who he was waiting for? I don’t like the way he talked to and talked about multiple women on the show and the way he treated Natasha. That was really uncalled for. Basically, he and Pieper must be perfect for each other because they are both incredibly immature and self centered, it seems. He’s a total letdown and I can see now that he played Tayshia the same way he played Natasha with that fake BS story about being guarded and not ready. Agree. What they did pre-show so many others did. But they also said and did things caught on camera that, while they should’ve been aware of – they weren’t. Because a camera wasn’t right in their face filming them on that bad, I really don’t think they realized they were being filmed. And we saw the result. And Brendan has rightfully so been called out for how he treated Natasha on the show.

Next thing, I was really impressed with the way Thomas handled himself on this week’s show. I’ve never been against him, per se, but I never thought he’d be right for Katie on her season. The way he handled things with Tammy was something men should watch to learn how to gently and honestly let a woman down. No disrespect to Tammy, but you could plainly see he was way into Becca.

Anyway, those are my 2 cents. Thanks for doing what you do.

Comment: Agree. He hasn’t done much right in 2 seasons, but he definitely handled himself a lot better in that situation than others have.

Hi Steve,

Thanks for all the spoiling that you do! I hope as we get our shit together with covid, they’ll start filming at more “regular” locations and we can get more of your blessed spoilers.

So first of all, didn’t the same thing happen between Demi / girlfriend / Derek last season? Demi always had a girlfriend back home and strung Derek along while fully knowing that her bisexuality was going to be a main storyline. Derek was also hurt in this situation, but I guess no one really cared? Is this a case of producer choosing what type of editing? Obviously they gave Demi the good edit last year because they needed to pretend they cared about LGBT. And they gave Brendan / pieper the worst edit possible. Is this a case of some sexism in that it’s a more severe crime to hurt a woman’s feelings than a man’s feelings? Is this a case of the pecking order / contestants not coming for Demi last season because she was obviously in on it with the producer? I guess I’m just curious that we’ve actually seen this play out last season but it was totally swept under the rug so quickly for Demi. According to her it isn’t. She addressed this on her social media.

Also have you listened to the bachelor party podcast with Rachel Lindsey? I feel like you can receive Rachel’s opinion rationally and it might be a good listen if you haven’t heard it. She talked about how she was given inside info that Brendan liked caramel skinned girls (Pieper, Deandra types) and not darker skinned girls (Natasha, Tazj). I come from an Asian family with severe colorism bias, so I feel like this might be a good opportunity to bring up these issues to people who may not have had to deal with or encounter colorism before. Especially coming from Rachel, I feel like it could be another powerful discussion of issues that affect so many POC in real life. However, since there’s no way to verify if Brendan actually said that he preferred lighter skinned women of color, I’m not sure if it’s fair to assume that he was operating under that mindset and therefore to create a discussion about colorism under that assumption. Basically I’d like to discuss colorism, but I also don’t want to pile on unconfirmed rumor unto an already hated dude.

Thanks again for all that you do!

Comment: Thank you for the heads up. I did not hear. All I can think of after hearing that is, can you just imagine if I came on this site or my podcast and said “I heard” then threw out an accusation of colorism like that? Maybe it did happen, maybe it didn’t. I have no idea. But just like anything I’ve heard in the past that I reported, I believed it to be true. So I’m guessing Rachel believed it to be true and that’s why she said it. However, in this day and age as I’ve learned, that’s not good enough anymore. I would be CRUCIFIED if I did that. And the BN contestants would jump all over me for reporting something without any proof/evidence, especially if it’s something we don’t see play out on TV.

Do you know how much tea in Bachelor Nation I have right now spanning numerous contestants that I won’t run with for that EXACT reason? While I believe it to be true, and in some instances have proof/evidence, I can’t report it because 1) if I show the proof/evidence, it gives up the source and I don’t do that and 2) on the instances where I don’t have proof, I’ll be accused of hating someone and flanning the flames against them. Just because there’s no evidence or proof of something doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. So yes, I’m sure Rachel has a great source and firmly believes what she said is true. But this is the exact thing that people get upset at me for. God forbid I reported the exact same thing that Rachel did how the reaction would be totally different. Interesting. Sure, it’s definitely juicy and paints Brendan horribly. But that’s a hell of an accusation to make just because you have “inside info” and are basically just leaving it at “trust me on this.” While fine and dandy, isn’t that really attacking someone’s character with no proof/evidence other than saying “I know?” Yes, I did this in the past. I don’t anymore because look where it got me.

If he did say it, it’s definitely a discussion to be had on colorism. But I am not going down that road since 1) I have no idea if he said it or not and 2) Even if I did, it’d be doing exactly what I said I was no longer gonna do. And I’ve stuck by that considering I haven’t released anything since Katie’s season started. And oh boy, there’s plenty.

Hi Steve

Can I just say how relieved I am to hear that ANYONE but Greg has been selected as the Bachelor? When you announced that it was Greg, for the first time I had serious misgivings about my future watching of the show. Usually I have the same perspective of you…I don’t much care who the Bachelor(ette) is, I’ll hate watch anyway and in some cases be pleasantly surprised (Ali, Hannah, Katie etc). Some seasons are hard to watch (I’m looking at you Pilot Pete) but hey, whatever, it’s reality TV.

In the instance of Greg however, I was seriously conflicted. I’ve been faithfully watching since the Jason/Molly era and enjoyed the show for what it is. Combined with your spoilers, Sharleen’s recaps and a healthy dose of scepticism, I have enjoyed myself immensely. However, the behaviours Greg displayed to the world on Katie’s season really hit a nerve in me. Regardless of whether he was ‘gaslighting’ or not ‘gaslighting’, his behaviour was questionable and whether intentional or no, he was manipulating Katie and showing a lack of empathy that had me very concerned. I, like many, have had experiences with men such as Greg and it triggered my PTSD pretty seriously. Yes, I agree Katie didn’t handle it well but she was also blindsided and emotional at the time and at the ATFR she had just re-watched it and was acting on high emotion, which we all know is never usually a good thing. It doesn’t change the fact that his actions were pretty wrong.

To reward someone for this behaviour was sickening to me. I really didn’t know if I could stomach watching him manipulate his way through 20+ women displaying his shy guy act. But then I didn’t know how I could not watch and read your website as it’s so ingrained in me!

So happy that Clayton, whoever he is, has been picked instead. He can’t be worse.

With regards to BIP, can we just say a huge Hallelujah that she-who-will-not-be-named was finally kicked to the curb? I would hope that she’d take her appearance fee and invest in some therapy however we all know she won’t. It’s just sad at this point and I hope the powers-that-be realise that she really has nothing to offer the Bachelor world anymore (not that I ever really thought she did).

Is it just me or is this season really dragging? Maybe it’s because I know the spoilers so any drama between couples that you’ve reported are still together is just a waste of airtime and any ‘will they or won’t they’ couples drama seems pointless when we already know the end result. Anyway, it’s a bit dull and the group bullying tactics are leaving a bad taste in my mouth. The engaged couples are a bit yawn-inducing and don’t have me rooting for any of them.

The one thing I do find fascinating about BIP is seeing people for who they really are. So many get the airbrushed Bachelor(ette) treatment on their first go-around and then hit the beach and show their true selves. Some for the better but mostly for the worse. I didn’t have any strong opinions about Chris, Brendan or Pieper before (and I didn’t even know who Alana was) but sure do now. And it’s nice to see the personalities on some of Katie’s guys that were mostly invisible on the Bachelorette. I do have to comment that Thomas is certainly getting the airbrushed treatment, clearly to redeem an show himself worthy of Bachelor royalty. So predictable.

On another topic entirely, how much are you loving the addition of Ed to The Challenge? It’s rare that rookies make much of an impact on me unless they’re super athletic but damn, this guy is awesome. They’ve actually got a pretty great bunch of rookies this year, also loving Emmanuel and then Kelz and Michelle gone too soon. Can’t wait to see the vets turn on each other, it’s going to be popcorn and fireworks all around. Here’s hoping Messy Fessy buys himself a ticket home after his hands-on altercation with Josh. Funny how he’s apparently a legend in his own tiny mind and yet still hasn’t won after a number of seasons…It’s funny, because when they had that injury in the beginning of the game and said he was being replaced, and they did the slo mo of someone getting out of the car and coming onto the show, I assumed it was a seasoned vet. Then “Ed” appeared and I didn’t have a clue who the f**k he was. So yes, I prejudged him coming on. But he’s been great and I think he’ll be around a while and a mainstay on the show going forward.

His throwing of Amber under the bus was hilarious for so many reasons. It was apparently ‘strategy’ because she was gunning for him (yet she wasn’t). And then he admitted she wasn’t liked, so even if she was gunning for him she’s still gonna need the numbers to get him sent into elimination, so his sense makes….well absolutely no sense. I don’t actually enjoy him very much on the show and hope he’ll just fade away but the producers seem to like his brand of idiocy (sigh). For the first time I’m actually liking Josh for showing a bit of spine and standing up to his mate instead of licking his boots like usual.

That’s enough from me, looking forward to Michelle’s season and finding out who wins the Challenge (would LOVE to see CT take it out twice in a row but I know that’s asking a lot).

Comment: I think I feel the same way on Fessy as you do. And as most others do. He certainly has a high opinion of himself for a guy who, while reaching the finals on both seasons he was on, gassed out in one of them, and wouldn’t eat the disgusting food in another that would’ve cost his team again.

Will you be covering BIP Canada as well?

Comment: No. I’ve never seen it, I’ve never covered it in the past, and I don’t even know where to watch it.

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  1. jlal

    September 21, 2021 at 9:44 AM

    I would love to see Wells become the host. I think he balances compassion, humor, and the serious/not serious nature of the show.

    Can someone tell me what the “thing” is between RS and Demi? Why won’t he talk about her at all? Just curious as I miss that somewhere along the way.

  2. rob22

    September 21, 2021 at 10:47 AM

    As far as RS and Demi, there are two things. One is that RS spoiled Demi’s “coming out” on the show. She felt it was her story to tell. The second thing is alleged “bullying” because of RS’s power position in the media. She felt obligated in some way to do what RS asked her. Nothing sexual, or anything. I don’t remember the specifics, but to me, it added up to not much. The media does have power, and people who want to stay in the media do feel obliged to keep them happy. Those who don’t want to stay in the media, don’t. Fair? I think the media and personalities use each other pretty equally. Where I usually draw the line is when someone is trying to have a private life, not in the media, and are being stalked and harassed. Or, obviously if someone is telling falsehoods about someone. Otherwise, it’s just normal stuff. Also, with Demi, it’s hard to tell how much she was really bothered by these things and how much she just wanted the continuing media attention. Again, maybe someone has more specifics, but it certainly wasn’t the crime of the century.

  3. dbla31

    September 21, 2021 at 11:37 AM

    Here was the big “crime” according to Demi that turned her and some Bachelor royalty against RS. He had a couple convos with her so they were in touch, just in a professional sense. Then he had a sexual dream about her, and he told her this. I don’t remember if he told her the details about it or just said “Hey, I had a sexy dream about you last night, isn’t that wild?” She later played that up like he was harassing her, and intimidating her with his “media power” and doubled down on the ick factor because he is close to twice her age. As with Rob22 I felt under the circumstances it was all overblown. Here is a women who trades on her sexuality to gain popularity and suddenly she’s all prim and proper? GTFOH I can see (and RS has admitted) that what he did could be construed as inappropriate, and I believe he apologized, but I also know guys like RS and am a bit like him myself (although I’m a woman.) He felt comfortable enough with her to express what he really thought was a funny occurrence, him having a sexual dream about her. But instead of just saying “hey, you’re making me uncomfortable” she chose to spread it to her BN friends and make him look like a jerk. So he’s not touching anything about her with a 10 foot pole these days.

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