-The group date is 12 girls headed to a farm to do farming stuff. It’s almost like us as viewers could write this show ourselves. Knowing what a spoiled brat Corinne is and the way she acts, of course she was gonna be put on this date doing things she didn’t want to do, and her reaction was completely unexpected. I actually saw people on social media last night saying they thought she was funny. Really? That was funny to you? I found it all obnoxious, but hey, to each their own. Corinne immediately started out by telling us the whole place smells bad and she’d “rather be at a spa eating a taco. Preferably chicken.” Well, you are on a farm honey. Not gonna have that lavender aroma that spas have. I guess I just didn’t find it funny because it was so predictable how she’d act on this date. Did anything that came out of her mouth surprise you? She complained because she was out of her element. Great. We’ve seen that numerous times with past contestants so I didn’t find anything she said or did all that original. Can you tell I’m kinda over Corinne and her antics? Wasn’t sure.
-When in Rome, do as the Romans do, so when on a farm, do what farmers do. Feed the cows hay, and milk them. Nick had a little bit of trouble milking cows until Jaimi, the ummmmm bisexual one, stepped in and showed everyone how to handle the cow’s teats. Congrats Jaimi. You are a professional at this. Now all we need you to do is go drink that milk you just squeezed without yakking all over everyone. I mean, they actually did do it according to the article I linked to on page 1. They did it on Chris Soules’ season when they had the farming group date, didn’t they? I mean, how many laughs a minute would we have had watching Corinne chug a gallon of freshly squeezed cow milk? I might’ve keeled over from laughing so hysterically. Or not. You know what does make me laugh hysterically? Corinne in a Juicy J and 2 Chainz video (fast forward to 1:45-2:36 to see Corinne doing whatever white girls do in rapper videos. And plug your ears if you don’t like explicit lyrics and women being degraded):
Classy Corinne. This girl is so transparent it’s ridiculous. Just own up to why you did the show and I guarantee less people would have a problem with you.
-Next up on the list of “Things We’re Gonna Do on This Date Just To Get a Reaction Out of Corinne,” is shovel manure. Granted, this date sucked and no one who’s looking to impress Nick probably wanted to be out on that farm freezing their ass off and shoveling manure. I get it. But 11 other girls did it, didn’t whine and bitch and sit things out like Corinne did now did they? Vanessa was a trooper, Jasmine fought through it, so did Alexis, Rachel, Sarah, and whoever else was on that date. But since this is the Corinne show, we only really saw her reactions to everything, which made this date 10x worse than it already was. Did you miss what Corinne said? “Why? Why? Why? Everywhere I turn there is poop…worse date I’ve ever been on…I need sushi.” Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Get it? She’s a spoiled elitist brat and she’s shoveling manure, but because she hates it so much, she has to pull her best Elle Woods and Erica Rose impression and talk about something else she’d rather be doing. I think she might have a stand up career when this is all said and done. What a hoot this one is.
-I’d really like to talk about something on this date other than Corinne, but when the whole date and after party is pretty much focused on her, there’s not much else to talk about. Oh wait, here’s Kristina, America’s favorite Russian spy! She’s the first one we see Nick talking to at the group date after party and she tells him that while she may not be as aggressive as some of the other women, she does have a lot she wants to talk to him about. She didn’t have it easy growing up. But she’ll have to do it in pieces, because there’s a lot. Nick says he’d love to hear all about it…some other time. He’s got more important things to tend to now. You know, like hearing Vanessa complain about Danielle L. that they decided to not show, but instead, give us a more positive edit on Vanessa. Can’t say I’m the least bit surprised by that one as I mentioned I had no idea if they’d show it or not. Reality Steve: 2, Show: 0.
-So instead of getting Vanessa telling Nick she thinks Danielle L. is fake, we get Vanessa having an already prepared book of pictures that her co-workers and students had made up for him before she even stepped into the house. So basically it looks to me like Vanessa was out to win this thing no matter what and pulled out all the stops to do so. I mean, if that’s what you want then sure, go for it. I just find it a tad suspicious. Because god forbid if someone that was disliked by the audience pulled this same stunt, I’m sure the masses in the audience wouldn’t let her hear the end of it. But because it’s Vanessa and we know they’re engaged now, then its looked at completely different. Happens every season, but just wanted to point that out. There’s no denying Nick is into Vanessa this early in the show. We all can see that. I just find it funny that, to me, Vanessa is kinda skating by with the Nikki edit. I know I can’t prove that she told Nick about Danielle L. during this date, but there are tons of things over the years that I haven’t been able to prove that have been true. This is just another instance. Those that love Vanessa and think she walks on water will choose not to believe it, and those who can be objective about things are open to it. Because things aren’t shown on this show doesn’t mean they didn’t happen.
-We’re back to Corinne. She lays it out there for everyone that if they have a problem with her, to come talk to her about it. Sarah practically jumped out of her clothes to immediately ask her a question. “Do you think you are seriously ready to marry a 36 year old man? Because I don’t think you are.” I mean, Corinne asked for it, and someone had a legitimate concern regarding her intentions on the show, confronted her to her face about it, and Corinne basically had no comeback. Oh wait, she apologized for taking a nap. She didn’t mean to offend anyone. Huh? What? Who? Where? While everyone else can clearly see the constant napping is a sign of disrespect where EVERYONE is tired and would like to nap, Corinne just looks at the nap as the act itself without seeing the overlying ramifications. Because after all, “Michael Jordan napped. Abraham Lincoln took naps.” Corinne should be doing those #TheMoreYouKnow PSA’s with riveting information like that.
-Then later, Corinne was confronted by KGB Kristina, who gave her the third degree and basically became my favorite Russian since Ivan Drago. Are we sure they’re not related? But because Corinne feels she’s being attacked, even though she specifically asked anyone who had a problem with her to tell her to face and now they all are, Corinne ghosts out of that conversation saying she doesn’t need to listen to this anymore. Which is usually the reaction from someone who knows what the other person is saying is dead right. Corinne then goes to Nick, says she had a talk with the ladies, everything will be fine, and she doesn’t see any more problems arising. Translation: expect every episode remaining that has Corinne in it to have problems arising. Starting with next week’s 2-on-1 with Taylor. Nick ends of giving Kristina the rose, Corinne is pissed, and well, you know the rest. 12 girls were on this date. We saw Nick’s time with 3 of them at this after party: Kristina (bc it wouldn’t have made sense to see her getting the group date rose if we didn’t see their conversation), Vanessa (because of course), and Rachel (who has a 1-on-1 next week). So 9 girls who had time with him that night don’t get shown for one second so we can all see more of the Corinne Show. You know what else got left on the cutting room floor? the girls confronting Vanessa AND Taylor about how they “turned” on Danielle L. Never shown. Happened. Reality Steve: 3, Show: 0. And whaddya’ know? Vanessa and Taylor (along with Danielle M. and Kristina) were all together in Nashville this weekend hanging out and posting to Instagram. Certainly curious when you think back to New Years Eve in Miami, when a larger group of 7 of them got together for the weekend: Rachel, Astrid, Raven, Alexis, Whitney, Kristina, and Sarah. No Vanessa. No Taylor. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm. So again, if you’re a Vanessa fan and she can do no wrong, you dismiss the story, and think the other 7 are the mean girls in all of this. If you’re objective, you can see things start to add up. Aren’t you glad I’m here to help?