-I really, really, really would like to talk about Danielle’s 1-on-1 date with Nick, but honestly, outside of their dinner conversation, tell me one thing that happened. You can’t really. Once the first group date was over, we were 55 minutes into the show. At that point, I started sensing that we were doomed for another “To Be Continued…” at the end of the episode. But then they get to Danielle’s date, and practically half her date is interspersed with clips from back at the mansion and Liz talking about her hookup with Nick 9 months ago. Were you aware of that? That Nick and Liz hooked up at Tanner and Jade’s wedding? I wasn’t sure if you caught them mentioning that this season. It’s been very subtle and they were doing their best to keep it under wraps, so wasn’t sure if you were able to catch on. Good. I guess you do comprehend things when you’re beaten over the head with a frying pan with it non stop for two episodes. Whatever the case, I’d say Danielle got screwed. Her date took second fiddle to the Nick/Liz storyline.
-Is it just me or does Danielle come across as someone who will get eaten alive by this show? She seems waaaaay too nice to be dealing with these people and these producers. She certainly doesn’t come across as a Type A personality and I think she’s completely out of her element in all of this. Nice girl, tragic backstory, and doesn’t fit this show at all. You can already tell that this is not the type of girl Nick is attracted to. Much too soft spoken – literally. I need to turn my volume up to 100 just to hear her speak. Obviously she can’t help her own voice, I get that. But it certainly fits with her personality as she comes across as one of the more sweet and likable girls on the show. Which means Nick is going to dump her, and as I reported in the spoilers, apparently she took it very hard. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Lets focus on this date that we barely saw any of because we were force fed the Nick and Liz Sex Story from 9 months ago (well, technically now it’s been a year ago, but you know what I mean. At the time this date was filmed on Sept. 27th, the hookup was 9 months prior).
-They took a helicopter to Newport Beach that landed on a yacht. From there they…well, what did they do? Talk? I know that one of the questions on the Bachelor Fantasy League this week had a True or False question if there was a hot tub scene in last night’s episode. The answer was true. Nick and Danielle did get into a hot tub together on the yacht. I know I saw it earlier in the episode when they were previewing it, but did we actually see it once they were on the yacht? I easily could’ve been looking away or looking down taking notes, but for some reason I don’t remember them showing Nick and Danielle in the hot tub on the yacht while they were on it. But I could be wrong. Whatever the case, it happened. And yes, last week I got 10 for 10 on the Bachelor Fantasy League questions, and I’m sure I’m gonna be 7 for 7 this week. Look, I know I’m not winning. Even if my name did get randomly picked, it’s not like they’d actually let me go nor would I want to. I’m just playing for the satisfaction of getting every question right all season. So far so good.
-Back at the mansion, Liz is feeling conflicted of carrying around this secret of her and Nick’s past. She feels the need to tell someone, so she tells Christen who promises not to say anything to anyone. They never really went into a reason as to why Christen was the one she trusted the most, but just as Liz is pretty horrible at reading guys, she doubled down and chose someone who blabbed to Nick the second she got a chance later in the episode. Liz tells Christen they’d met before at Tanner and Jade’s wedding and had sex. Christen is the self-proclaimed virgin by the way, so I’m pretty sure her ears were spouting out blood listening to Liz kiss and tell from their romp in the hotel room. Christen leaves that conversation knowing two things now: 1) Liz and Nick met and had sex before 2) Liz has a giant back tattoo that she probably will regret until the end of time.
-Back on the 1-on-1 date, Nick and Danielle sit down for dinner and Danielle basically says, “Ummmm, who are you and why are you the Bachelor?” Not sure why Danielle played dumb here. Even if she didn’t particularly watch Nick on Andi and Kaitlyn’s season, she’s very close friends with Wells, and I’m sure he filled her on Nick’s past with the show – among other things. But Nick had to explain to her how he finished second on both Andi and Kaitlyn’s season and was heartbroken. Of course, he left out the part where on his flight home from the Dominican Republic he spoiled his whole season by talking about it on the plane, which was subsequently recorded and sent to me to post. Still the greatest spoiler I’ve ever gotten and I don’t think it’ll ever be topped. No way anything comes close, really. All my other spoilers I just tell you, but I can’t reveal how or where it came from, even though if you knew, you’d realize they were right. Kinda like this season’s. But to be able to actually give proof of someone spoiling their own season that no one else had, that was the ultimate. Thanks again to Nick and his bag of Cheetos!
-So Nick and Danielle walk around the Balboa Fun Zone and get on the Ferris wheel for a little make out fun. Is there a bigger layup ride in all rides that practically guarantees a make out than a Ferris wheel? I mean, you can’t make out on the Zipper locked in that cage spinning to your death. Basically if you’re a girl and you’re asked on the Ferris wheel by the boy, just assume he wants to make out with you among other things. As I was reminded on Twitter last night, we all remember the movie Fear with Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon don’t we? Who could forget that scene. I guess I’m talking to 7th graders right about now, since adults don’t need to go on a Ferris wheel to get some. So yeah, all you 12 year olds out there, at your school carnival, just know what you’re getting into if little Derek asks if you want to go on the Ferris wheel. Hope you brought your breath mints. As for Nick and Danielle, of course he waited til he got to the top to make out. That’s the most discreet…and of course Reality Steve spies happened to be on the grounds there that night and were taking pictures the whole time.
