-So we pick up where we left off – sort of. I thought maybe they’d pick right back up from the group date after he sends Liz home and tells the other 5 girls he had sex with Liz 9 months ago. We don’t. We just get the girls back in the mansion talking about Nick’s revelation and if they’re going to say anything to him at the cocktail party that night. So Nick shows up at the cocktail party, and in front of all of them, admits that yes indeedy he did do the deed with Liz at Tanner and Jade’s wedding, it was fabulous, and he wishes he could do it again. Ok, maybe he didn’t quite say that, but you get my point. He let them know what was going down, we saw some confused and sullen faces, but that didn’t stop each and every one of them from taking time out that night to ask him about it. It was a like a bizarro version of “Beard Hunk.” Quite timely that SNL aired that this weekend after what we saw last night. But instead of talking vapidly to him, they asked him about it, he told them, and they were over it in .5 seconds, kinda like we’ve been over it for 2 weeks now.
-Danielle L. was one of the girls who talked to him about it and basically just kissed Nick’s ass. Hell, he could’ve banged Liz right in front of Danielle and she probably wouldn’t have cared. “I figured he’d handle it that way.” Really? Based on what? You’ve known the guy less than a week and his track record is showing numerous hookups with girls in this franchise, some of which you’re completely unaware of. However, this talk was shown because it really had nothing to do with how Danielle reacted to Nick and Liz. Knowing Danielle gets the group date rose later on, and then her first 1-on-1 next week, all it did was showcase her to the audience who basically haven’t seen or heard from her since she was first out of the limo. You see that quite a bit on this show, so it’s something to pay attention to. You know who else they made sure to show had time with Nick this week, especially considering they she wasn’t even on a date? Raven. And lookie who has a 1-on-1 next week as well. This show isn’t rocket science. Next week we’ll also see his connection with Rachel build along with Taylor and Corinne at each other’s throats. And guess who’s 1-on-1 and 2-on-1’s are the following week? You guessed it.
-But of course, what start of the show wouldn’t be complete with hot mess Corinne doing hot messy things? Even though she’s safe with a group date rose, Corinne is told by producers randomly decides to put on a trenchcoat with only her bra on underneath for her alone time with Nick. She says she has the “IT factor that guys really like.” If the IT factor she’s referring to needs to be treated with a penicillin shot, then yeah, no thanks Corinne. We’ll pass. So there’s a whipped cream bottle conveniently laying next to them in the backyard that Corinne sprays in his mouth. Then on her boob so Nick can lick it off. But afterwards Nick has buyer’s remorse, or more likely, a fungus now growing on his tongue. Says they need to cool it and Nick says they have to stop. This sends Corinne into a crying whirlwind as her master plan of trying to conceive Nick’s child through a whipped cream licking didn’t succeed. But very big and honest of Nick to admit that might’ve gone too far – AFTER he licked whipped cream off her breast. Stand up guy.
-Corinne is a mess in the bathroom crying saying it didn’t go as she planned and she goes and falls asleep during the rose ceremony for the first time in this show’s history. Ahhh, the perks you get when you’re a producer puppet. Anyway, it’s Rose Ceremony time. Corinne, Danielle M., and Christen safe with roses, yet, they never showed Nick giving Christen the group date rose. Nor did they ever really acknowledge it at the rose ceremony. You just had to look to see her standing there with one because her name definitely wasn’t called. Reality Steve: 1, Show: 0. Won’t be the only time this season I tell you about something that’s never shown I’m sure. Nick: “Thanks so much…amazing to make real connections with all of you…women going home tonight…thank you from the bottom of my heart…and please don’t kiss me after you receive a rose tonight because it’s quite possible Corinne’s bial is still in my mouth and you don’t want that.”
Astrid: Boobs McBooberson gets to flaunt the ladies later on this episode.
Taylor: I think she’d poison Corinne’s drink if she could.
Whitney: It’d be nice if Whitney would join us on the show this season.
Kristina: The Russian Hacker is just plotting her master plan.
Danielle L.: Since Astrid stole her Boobs McBooberson nickname, I guess we’ll just have to go with Tits McGee. Only 6 days away from the girls being exposed to all of those in attendance at the Pabst theater.
Rachel: Stealth so far. Big game coming up.
Vanessa: I mean…
Raven: Hey, he just called 3 of his final 4 in a row. The other one is already safe and sleeping in the room.
Jaimi: She mentioned lesbian this episode. So is she bi or lesbian?
Dominique: I wish we knew who this girl was.
Sarah: All I know about her is she hangs out with Amanda Stanton.
Alexis: If you don’t think Shark Girl will be on Paradise, you don’t know how this show works.
Brittany: A leaf bikini and the same name as Jordan Rodgers ex, and still no one could pick her out of a lineup of one.
Josephine: Bizarro chick.
“Ladies, Nick, this is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Did you know ‘Millionaire’ got renewed for another season, and I’ll be the one hosting again? I’m kind of a big deal in case you didn’t know. I host like 7 shows and it takes zero talent to do any of them.”
Jasmine: Her exit in St. Thomas all makes sense now based on what we’ve seen in 3 episodes. She always seems to be on edge about Nick.
