I know a lot of you are asking about podcasts guests, almost weekly, giving me a list of who you’d like to hear on and who is coming up etc. While I appreciate it, just know that I will not divulge who I’ve reached out to, who has said no, who hasn’t responded, or who has said yes then backed out for whatever reason. It’s not good business, and I don’t want anyone taking to social media to go after these people. They have their reasons. I’ve reached out to A LOT of them, and the responses have varied. I can only do so much. I’m not going to beg anyone to be on. If they want to come on, I’ll find a way to make it work and they’ll eventually be on. We’ve had some great guests up to this point and I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. Sure, there are some out there that I wish would come on but it’s out of my hands. Just know that I’m doing my best to get all the people you’ve asked me to get on. I just can’t give you an update when you ask specifically about a person, because that would compromise them and I don’t want people making comments towards them, which is inevitably what will happen. They know I want them on. They just have to give me the yes to set it up. And I don’t like jinxing anything so it’s hard for me promote anyone until I know I’ve recorded it.
I can promote this week’s podcast guest because it’s already been recorded. We have our second former lead appearing on the podcast, as Podcast #35 guest is none other than Ben Flajnik. Ben is someone I’ve always wanted on, and since we had Courtney on a while back, I thought it’d be a good time to have Ben on. This isn’t a back and forth of, “Well Courtney said this, so what’s your response” type of deal. We definitely discuss Courtney, their relationship, parts of her book, etc. I mean lets be honest, I could’ve done 2 hours just on Ben & Courtney alone, but I didn’t want to make the podcast about that. Ben definitely has his opinions on what happened between the two of them and isn’t afraid to share them. I think you’ll enjoy this interview as Ben was very upfront and honest about what he felt happened. So look for that come Thursday.
Also coming on Thursday, Episode #2 of the “He Said, She Said” podcast I do with Sharleen Joynt. We’ll have an email update from two of the callers from episode #1 then take two calls, including one from Australia! It’s a good one, you don’t want to miss it. Again, just go to this link, type in the promo code: STEVE, and you get your first month free. It’s $4.99 a month after that, or $29.99 for the year, and you have access to all of Stitcher Premium’s library of podcasts. And they’re all commercial free. It’s a really fun show to do with Sharleen because she’s very knowledgeable on this stuff and asks the right questions. There is a chance we will make this a free show in the future as part of the Reality Steve Podcast, but a lot of depends on the listeners. Give us your feedback on Twitter or email. Sharleen’s is email@example.com. And if you want to be a part of the next show in August, hit either of us up on email and we’ll arrange a time to do a Skype Audio call with you in the next few weeks. Sharleen wants sex questions. She even says it this episode. You know me, I’d much rather talk about love, and rainbows, and butterflys and…ok, fine. Lets get some sex questions in there for next month.
ABC made it official last week they pushed the premiere date of “Bachelor in Paradise” back 6 days, and it will now premiere Aug. 14th and have a two-night, two hour premiere. We still don’t know if there will be an “After Paradise” this season. My guess is no, since I’m guessing that would’ve been made with the premiere announcement. Nor do we know if it’s going to be 2 nights every week and how many weeks it’s going for. I guess it’s possible it could be Mon/Tues every week since it’s starting a week later than in previous seasons.
The “Men Tell All” tapes this Saturday in LA. I would think that’s when the first full promo of “Bachelor in Paradise” will air, not to mention most of the cast being in attendance. That’s what they’ve done in past seasons, so I don’t see why this would be any different. Follow along their social media accounts on Saturday night and I’m sure all of them will be posting pictures out at the after party. I guess the biggest question to come from the taping is “Will Lee be there?” I haven’t heard either way at this point, but I’m sure it won’t be long before it gets out. Plenty of media attend behind the scenes there. Peter and Bryan obviously will not be in attendance being the final two. Yes, I’m aware Peter is out in LA right now. He actually leaves today. 1) No, it’s not because he’s engaged to Rachel and meeting up with her and 2) Probably, in that he’s meeting with them to discuss “Bachelor.” Anyone who thinks it’s “fitness” related, well, that’s the lie he’s telling you it’s for. Don’t buy it.
Get your “Reader Emails” in for tomorrow along with any “Dr. Reality Steve” emails for Thursday. We’re a little low on each right now, so pretty much assured they’ll make it in this week’s column if you get them in today and tomorrow.
Since Dean was eliminated last night, they “officially” announced he will be on the “Bachelor in Paradise” cast, something all of you have known about for a while now. Anyway, if you missed it on Twitter last week, Dean was in LA with DLo at the Farmer’s market:
(POST BIP SPOILER): Not sure what this means, but Dean and DLo together yesterday at the Farmers Market in LA pic.twitter.com/ARABr6fwOT
— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2017
Now, what does this all mean? I don’t really know with that guy. The impression I’m getting is he’s basically just having his cake and eating it too and isn’t serious with anyone right now. Because of course he is. More on him later.
Poll question for this week that I’m curious about. How much do you think his home life affects his dating potential?
July 18, 2017 at 10:46 AM
I have to admit that when I saw the trailer for this week, I thought that the show had put Dean’s father in that outfit. I thought that there was no way that was real. And, uh, I guess it was real. What normal person, that’s not Indian, just converts to the Sikh religion? I know some Sikhs, but everyone of them is first generation from India or Pakistan. Nothing wrong with the religion, but it’s not something you see many people converting to. I wonder how the heck that happened? I’m afraid that’s more than the episode could cover.
Dad was definitely marching to his own drummer. And, if you’re his kid, what exactly do you do with that? Especially if your Dad isn’t up to falling on his sword for his odd behavior & for completely falling down as a father when your kids needed you. As a Dad, we probably all have things to apologize for, and that’s what you do when necessary. Except if you’re kind of a jerk like Dean’s Dad.
So yeah, the show just exploited the side show. The elements of reconciliation just weren’t there. And even if they hugged and made up, how do you have any kind of real relationship with a Dad that’s gone off the deep end? The best you could hope for is walking away not hating him & being therefore able to move on with your life. But I don’t know that the show made it worse because how could it really be any worse?! My Dad may have his issues, but he didn’t grow a long scraggly beard, he never wore bizarre colorful robes & head coverings and he didn’t throw away all of his furniture and start gesturing with his hands pressed together. So, I thank God for that. I guess that’s the takeaway. If we have a rough relationship with our Dads, it could be worse. Way worse.
July 18, 2017 at 11:03 AM
Why are you blaming the show for exploiting Dean’s family life; shouldn’t Dean be the one held responsible? He is the one who signed up for the show and knew what that would entail.
July 18, 2017 at 11:12 AM
Dean’s hometown made me sick. You can tell he is a smart young man, but has been hurt deeply to his core. The show’s exploiting of him and his family was disgusting. I don’t blame Dean and say he knew what he signed up for because no kid at his age is willing to give up on an estranged family member, especially a father. All I could think of was my poor kid and how every time the man who abandoned us shows one iota of interest, my son jumps.
My husband and I both said, Dean doesn’t need a wife or a girlfriend, he needs a therapist.
July 18, 2017 at 11:45 AM
I’m sorry to say, but I think that whole denim look is coming back. Eric (who I now LOVE – and would love to see for the next bachelor- that would be ONE interesting show) is ahead of a trend. ugh!
July 18, 2017 at 11:52 AM
After watching this episode, my opinion of Dean changed. I respect and like him so much more now. I thought he handled the situation with class and maturity, even though he wasn’t getting much back from his dad. It was hard to watch at times, but his reaction showed such good character. His mother would be proud.
Before this, I was rooting for Peter as bachelor. Now I’m hoping it’s Dean,
July 18, 2017 at 12:16 PM
@LM111: since Dean went on BIP, The Bachelor ship has sailed for him. So it’s pretty much got to be Peter or Eric at his point. Also, if the show was interested in Dean for The Bachelor, they wouldn’t have had him on BIP.
July 18, 2017 at 12:20 PM
I know that having made my comment above someone is going to say “What about Nick?” And that’s fair. But the difference was that the show was interested in Nick for The Bachelor and needed a vehicle to re-work his image from his prior appearances. So they used the BIP for that & gave him a great edit. For Dean, there was no image to re-work & since he was from the current season he could have been a candidate easily for The Bachelor just based on his appearance and favorable edit on Rachel’s season. But again, he went on BIP because there was zero interest from the show in having him become The Bachelor.
July 18, 2017 at 12:45 PM
I have a couple of questions.
1) Everyone keeps saying how suave Bryan is, etc. Have any girls from his past come forward? Besides him being on a reality show a million years ago he doesn’t strike me as overly dirtbagish. Could it actually be he just hasn’t met the right person? Not saying Rachel is it but…
2) You tweeted last night about Peter bringing women home, did he do that recently?
3) Any updates on Chris Soules. Do you know if any of the Bachelor Family has been in contact with him?
July 18, 2017 at 12:54 PM
I think Bryan is great! He and Rachel have so much chemistry. It’s so obvious he’s the type of guy she’s attracted to. I have no illusions that they’ll stay together and marry, but they are cute together and make me smile. And for those who have been attacking his appearance and claiming he’s had “work,” his dad has the same kind of facial structure with the high, prominent cheekbones. With Dean going on BIP, maybe the producers didn’t realize how well he was going to come off during that hometown, how sympathetic and likable. Peter is attractive, but he’s very low-key, just doesn’t seem all that into Rachel. Eric is adorable but probably not ready for The Bachelor gig; I don’t think Dean is either, but he seems like he could play the game better than Eric.
July 18, 2017 at 1:18 PM
The message I got loud and clear from both Peter and his family is that Peter is ready to commit himself to marriage, in a general way, but he is not sure Rachel is “the one”. There is no way he would propose to her in three weeks, when he is just not feeling it that strongly.
July 18, 2017 at 2:04 PM
Steve, love your site but wanted to clear something up. I live in Madison and none of Nick’s season was filmed here. He is from a suburb of Milwaukee! Saying something was filmed in Madison while it was actually filmed in Milwaukee is kinda like saying something was filmed in Pittsburgh when it was filmed in Philadelphia (little bit further but same idea lol!)
Peter is a friend of mine’s trainer so myself and plenty of others are surely hoping he is the next Bachelor!!!
July 18, 2017 at 3:52 PM
I can’t even tell you how awesome it is that’s Eric’s Aunt is Vern? Myers. She’s phenomenal. But just FYI – she brought up race because that’s what she does. This is her area of expertise. She does talks on diversity, racism, inclusion, etc. Her most famous quote is “Diversity is being invited to the party; Inclusion is being asked to dance.”
So I don’t think it was as random as you think, that’s all 🙂
July 18, 2017 at 3:53 PM
July 18, 2017 at 5:52 PM
I for one hope Dean is the next Bachelor because he is likable and has depth. Peter is totally blah, just going through the motions, and I’m over him. He’s got the looks but he does not have the personality, not by a long shot. Eric would be my second choice if we’re only looking at the final four. The show has shown recently that they do go with fan feedback, case in point going with JoJo when they had planned to go with fake-Caila. And I think Dean is the fan favorite here. I’m not going to jump to the conclusion that he can’t handle a relationship just because he didn’t decide on Kristina vs. Danielle L. I’ll be interested to see how he is during BiP. Steve thinks there’s no way he could be Bachelor, but I think that’s a hasty dismissal.
July 18, 2017 at 9:42 PM
I really hope Eric or Dean is the next bachelor. I was surprisingly impressed by them last night. I never felt Peter was that into Rachel since the first time she leaned into kiss him on their first one-on-one. It has always felt like he’s just been on this show to become the next bachelor. It’s sucked because he makes it seem like the guys aren’t as into the lady as in the last bachelorettes. It makes me feel bad for her. Anyway I’m just not impressed by the way he’s using her or this show. He’s also quite boring. I would not look forward to another Ben H…
July 18, 2017 at 9:46 PM
Oh and to add to that – how many times do the parents say their kid doesn’t want to settle down to the bachelor/bachelorette? I don’t recall seeing that before (I may be wrong – I haven’t checked). It felt like Peter (or producers) had already told his mom to say that because he (they) felt that he needs to get kicked off soon in order to become the bachelor. He seemed unimpressed when he got the rose last night.
July 18, 2017 at 10:40 PM
I disagree. From social media, Dean and Kristina were together over the weekend. So there’s still something going on there. Who knows what’s still going on with Danielle too. I don’t think he’d make a good Bachelor. Yes, he’s shown some maturity, and has gotten a pretty good edit; but, there still seems to be a lot of unresolved grief and I honestly question whether his emotions for Rachel are based on anything deeper than her being his emotional support through the difficult encounter with his father. I think Rachel questioned that too – this was someone who was trying to “throw” his date with her because he was apprehensive about her meeting his family. And he only opened up after a lot of prompting from her. I get the impression that this show has been a form of therapy for Dean (he seems to cry pretty much every time he goes out on a date with Rachel), and hopefully this experience was the first step in him dealing with his emotional baggage. I can’t see him as Bachelor – what would they do for hometowns? His dad won’t meet 4 random women and we barely saw his other siblings (it’s unclear how close they all are generally speaking). He seems like a great guy, with a huge heart, who still needs some time to get his ducks in a row. I agree with above, he needs a therapist. Give him a few more years and he may be a good candidate for Bachelor. I think going on BiP pretty much sealed the deal for him.
July 18, 2017 at 10:46 PM
I liked Peter up until this episode. I agree he doesn’t seem all that into her. I’m a bit shocked she kept him since he was the ONLY one who said he had doubts. Everyone else said varying degrees of “I love you” – although I think saying “I’m falling in love with you” isn’t the same as saying, “I love you.” And qualifying that statement with “it means I care about you” doesn’t mean “I love you.” Semantics – but I think there’s a difference. Based on hometowns, I would’ve sent Peter home before Dean. But either way, it’s very obvious she’s in love with Bryan. Her body language is so different with Bryan than it is with anyone else.
July 18, 2017 at 11:00 PM
I love Eric! I was Peter from day #1, but Eric has steadily gained ground on Peter. Peter’s interest seems to have waned. Brian, just no!! Eric posted something about Miracle Season, so I hope the spoilers are wrong & it’s Eric!
July 19, 2017 at 5:13 AM
I felt really bad for Dean. He is young and is caught up in this show where the producers are totally manipulating him. His Dad showed passive aggressive behavior – When they first arrived, his Dad made the comment, something like “Well the King has arrived” or some such stuff. Later on when his Dad was supposedly complimenting Dean, he followed it up with “I didn’t think you had it in you” or something similar. His Dad acknowledged not being there, but didn’t apologize or say sorry Son, I didn’t realize it was so hard on you. Anything would have been better than what he did. Act passive aggressive, throw underhanded compliments/insults; and not take responsibility for his failure as a parent. Yeah, he’s all about love, not.
July 19, 2017 at 5:45 AM
I have no issue with Bryan, he seems nice enough. However, his Mother would scare the crap out of me. She needs to cut the strings big time! Peter is just going through the motions. I think he checked out as soon as they talked to him about being the next Bachelor. It was like flipping a switch, his interest just died.
Eric is too young and does not have enough experience yet. I also don’t think he is ready at all to be the bachelor, once again too young. He also has some rough edges that still need knocked off. He should model his Aunt and not his parents; she was very well spoken and came across as classy and educated.
July 19, 2017 at 7:07 AM
I do think it’s kind of funny that Peter is getting negative comments because he has doubts. They should ALL have doubts after 6 weeks! Of course Rachel shouldn’t (and doesn’t pick him). But his not being sure, to me, says he’s a normal guy. You have to be a bit of a looney, or a con artist, to claim to love someone based on 2-3 one on one dates (including home towns), smatterings of 10 minute talks here and there, and one overnight. And this is one of the main reasons why I don’t buy into Bryan. He’s not the type of guy who would really fall in love with someone in a few weeks. He is the type of guy who has dated a lot of women and knows exactly what to say and do. Therefore, he’s more a con artist than a looney. That doesn’t make him a bad guy, btw, since the show encourages looneys and con artists heavily. Mostly that’s who they cast.
July 19, 2017 at 7:48 AM
I wholeheartedly agree with you rob22! I think Peter is a breath of fresh air on this show. It is so ludicrous when several guys profess being in love with the lead. Just not plausible. Look at Desiree’s season when Brooks opted out…fans didn’t throw him under the bus. I’d rather see a change up every once in while rather than same old, same old every season. And as far as Peter perhaps not being “into” Rachel…it’s about time! It only makes sense that out of 25-30 guys/girls…that a few of them just don’t “feel it” with the lead. So, why is everyone crucifying Peter? A person cannot help who they’re attracted to! I think he’d make an excellent bachelor. I like Dean too, but I do think he is not emotionally ready for the gig.
July 19, 2017 at 10:23 AM
What am I missing? Who is trashing Peter? I haven’t read anything negative about Peter not feeling it, just about him being a tad dull.
I actually admire when someone doesn’t fake feelings. I liked the year whats his name didn’t propose to anyone, because he wasn’t feeling it. Like the person who commented above, I like when they go off script. The exact same formula gets old.
Hopefully, if Peter is the bachelor he will come out of his shell and open up a little.
July 19, 2017 at 10:26 AM
This review is so revealing of who you might be as a person. I come here as 99% of people for your spoiler . No one cares about what you do other than your spoilers, even though people will learn not to trust you again as you know that your UPDATE is wrong but just want to keep believing is right. You apparently never dated a black person. I AM FAR FROM BEING RACIST BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT MY WHITE HUSBAND HAD FRIENDS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD , SPECIALLY PEOPLE FROM MY CULTURE AS IT IS AN ASSUMPTION NOT OF NOT BEING RACIST BUT AT LEAST OF OPEN MINDNESS.
You are a hater because you tend to hate any bachelor or lead.
PEOPLE PLEASE STOP COMINT TO THIS WEBSITE. YOU WILL PROBABLY AFTER THE FR AS RS you encourage hate, preconceived ideas and everything that is negative. Bye
July 19, 2017 at 3:39 PM
@lolalafrancaise—What? RS’s whole schtick is to mock the entire franchise. Not sure that makes him a hater. Just makes him a realist about what this TV show is. Because it is a TV Show.
I am curious about your comment on Steve being wrong with his UPDATE. You saying it isn’t Bryan? He makes the most sense. Dude is a TV vet and knows the game. Only surprise would be if she picked Eric, but I don;t see it. Honestly, I don’t see it with any of those guys for her. But especially not with Bryan.
July 19, 2017 at 3:48 PM
Steve’s reactions to the guys are kinda harsh, but not wrong! I am sooo over Bryan, everything feels like a sleazy line with him, but I’m sure he’s a beast in the bedroom so I can see why it’d be hard to let him go after their overnight date!! Peter is super boring, I use him time to respond to emails, facebook etc., and he seems to want to keep that distance so he’s not accidentally picked and still has a shot at being the bachelor. Eric seems sooo genuine with her and I would love to see him as the Bachelor but am also not sure if he’s experienced enough with love. He is a good contestant, not sure about the lead though. And Dean is just no… Hmm… if it’s Peter that’s selected looks like I’ll be skipping it again. I tuned OUT for Ben H’s and Lauren’s snoozefest, Jojo’s douchefest, and for all of Nick’s tool-ness. Bring on Eric ABC, it’ll at least be interesting.
July 19, 2017 at 5:48 PM
I like Peter, and I’m far from racist. But like Steve, I also cringed when it was mentioned that he told Rachel that 8 of his 10 friends were black. Because, it was almost taking credit away from them as people. He unintentionally reduced them to a skin color…and I know, that wasn’t his point…
He just wanted her to know he wasn’t racist. I get it. But
she’s a smart woman, she’d have figured that out on her own. Now, totally different story if she asked him if he had black friends. Maybe she did. This is a TV, we only see what they show us.
July 19, 2017 at 5:50 PM
July 19, 2017 at 8:46 PM
Can we stop assuming that Dean was “forced” to do anything? He agreed to have his family shown. He says as much in his interviews. We don’t know anything about his father and I think it’s just as unfair to judge him without understanding that he was grieving too. They all were grieving and chose to do it in different ways. I’m convinced if this talk happened in therapy or off cameras – it probably would’ve went differently. His father came off as a bit awkward and uncomfortable, which makes sense considering their relationship. I didn’t get the sense that his father didn’t agree that he abandoned Dean, I think he doesn’t know how to express that guilt and sadness in an articulate way, and to try to do so on camera would be tough for anyone. I actually feel worse for his father and his family than I do for Dean.
July 19, 2017 at 8:50 PM
All of what you say is true and makes sense. But this is a tv show. To sign up for this show then claim ignorance about the process seems really stupid. And it’s annoying. Don’t go on the show if you aren’t willing to blindly fall in love. And if you’re not into the lead, then leave. To stay and “play the game” comes off disingenuous. Or as they say “not here for the right reasons.”
July 19, 2017 at 8:57 PM
I’m an AA female. I’m watching this season because of Rachel as the lead. I’ve dated outside my race. I cringed when Peter’s friends were all interracial couples. In Madison. Wisconsin. Seriously? I don’t doubt they are friends, but it did seem a bit odd and “rehearsed.” That’s my favorite word when it comes to Peter. If he is the next Bachelor, it’ll be interesting to see how diverse his cast will be…Madison doesn’t exactly scream diversity, but I could be wrong!
July 19, 2017 at 9:00 PM
I think it’s one thing to have doubts. There’s always doubt. Even when dating in real life. I guess to me it feels like he’s angling for more camera time with his doubts. I felt the same about Vanessa on Nick’s season. I feel like by now, everyone knows what this show is about, so if this process doesn’t speak to you, then don’t go on the show. Agreeing to be on the show then having “doubts” to me comes off as having ulterior motives. JMO
July 21, 2017 at 9:55 AM
Dean has said he’s not ready to be the next Bachelor.
July 22, 2017 at 10:23 PM
I still have to skip over a lot of Steve’s comments because he so often comes across as judgmental, mean, if not even jealous of the men.
On Peter’s friends, it could have been worse. He could have said, “Some of my best friends are black.”
We don’t have enough information to judge or analyze Dean’s family – if any of the families for that matter. I found his hometown to be the only really interesting one that I would watch more than once. There are some things you just have to “get” without words, labels, analysis; and this experience seemed to be one of those. I wouldn’t mind a season with him as Bachelor. He might not emotionally be ready for it. But he was the most interesting.