There is so much to get to today, I don’t even really know where to begin. We’ve got Clare as the new “Bachelorette,” we’ve got Victoria F. continuing her lies on stage last night, contestants for the “Bachelorette” dropping like flies all while casting is still happening, we’ve got changes in the “Bachelorette” schedule and what’s happening with that, there’s sourcing stories from crazies that I need to explain to everyone, and of course how can I forget, we are one week away from Peter’s finale and, ummmm, what happens? I’m not trying to hedge anything here. Is it different than what I’ve done in years past? Yes. In the past I just tell you “This is what happens,” it usually does, and that’s that. This year I’m gonna tell you what I think happens based on the info I was given, but I never got the confirmation to it I needed. I’m just trying to get some last details, so it’ll be up tomorrow or Thursday. For 3 ½ months I’ve been looking for proof behind anything that was told to me. I’ve never gotten it. This will be what I’m being told happens from a source that, while not providing proof, laid out what I think to be the ending. I mean, I told you last week the ending I’ve gotten the most all season is, “He’s with Madi post-show, but they’re not engaged, just dating.” And this is along those lines, but I will tell you what this source brings to the table tomorrow or Thursday and lets see if it plays out this way next week.
But before that, guess what’s back after an over 2 month hiatus? You guessed it. The “He Said, She Said” podcast with Ashley Spivey where we take your calls on relationships, marriage, sex, and whatever else you wanna talk about. Anyone wanna be a part of a future episode, just let us know what time zone you’re in, what are the best times you can record, and what you wanna talk about. Email me or Ashley (but preferably me since Ashley just sends it to me since I coordinate the times), and we will hopefully book a time to record with you. Episode 26 is an interesting one for sure.
You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Kate Bass
Song Title: “Blink”
We start by talking about Ashley’s travel schedule in the new year, me now copying her husband Steve’s facial cleansing routine (5:03), and training my dog Luka on her ramp (12:34). Then Elisse in Idaho joins us to talk about her infertility issues that have been going on for way too long (15:30). Then Emily in Idaho wants to know what to do about her sister who ran up $40k of credit card debt on their grandmother’s cards (52:35). Original theme music provided by Kate Bass and the song is titled “Blink.”
There is news regarding the “Bachelorette” filming I’ve been hearing as of this past weekend. Last week I broke the news that Chattanooga, TN would be a place they’re going this season, and that’s still on for the end of March. Based on their schedule, looks to be episode 4. I said over the weekend when I posted that Clare would be announced as “Bachelorette,” that Iceland is one of the international destinations. I’ve also heard two other international destinations when I was told Iceland, which were Rome and Croatia, but now I’m hearing that all international travel is on hold because of the Coronavirus. They are scrambling big time to secure more US locations. Filming starts next Friday the 13th in LA. These locations are booked well in advance, so, now with the virus scare plans are being reshuffled. So this is going to be ever changing up until the last minute. I really do think they are gonna cut out all international travel this season. And if they don’t, I can’t imagine it’ll be for more than one city. Too risky at this point.
Next week we have the “live” 2 part finale. I get asked this every year, so I will repeat again. The “live” part is in and out of commercial breaks, Chris Harrison is live in studio. I’m sure they’ll do interviews, talk to the audience, bring back former contestants and talk to them, etc. I mean, we’re down to two women and they still have 4 hours of programming to kill. There will be a lot of filler stuff they need to do, just like they did for Colton last season. Remember when I was like, “How are they gonna fill 2 hours on back-to-back nights when there’s no final rose ceremony, there’s no final 3 rose ceremony, and only 2 women get overnights since he sends Hannah G. home?” But they managed somehow, and they’ll manage again next week. Just be prepared for this thing to be dragged out. What we do know is the last 2 segments on Tuesday will most likely be Clare’s introduction live as the “Bachelorette,” then her meeting 5 of her guys since they’ve done that three seasons in a row now. Can’t imagine why they wouldn’t continue that tradition.
And it was nice of them to address the racist, hateful messages some of the women received this season. Hey, what about me?
Hey, weren’t we just taught a whole lesson on TV about hate? And I think it’s very presumptuous of you to say that ABC is a male. How do you know? Did you ask him/her? pic.twitter.com/BOF5GKUgH2
— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) March 3, 2020
In all seriousness, it’s something I talk about time and time again. We know it happens. Every season. And yes, it’s awful. But unfortunately, it’s never, ever, ever stopping. I don’t mean to be Debbie Downer here. I’m just being realistic. Until a tweet, IG message, or DM you send with racist, hateful intentions behind it becomes a crime that you can be arrested for, or at the very minimum, prevents you from ever using social media again (which I don’t know how they could police that), it’s still gonna happen. And it’s always much worse for the women. Men are applauded for bad behavior seemingly on this show. It’s weird. Sure, some guys next season and in the past have gotten hate and will get hate, but it’s definitely not on the level the women do. It’s disgusting, it’s vile, these people should be penalized and/or convicted of something to put on their record – but they won’t. And this will continue every season no matter what message is put out unfortunately. Hell, it will probably make the internet trolls want to do it even more. Applaud them for addressing it last night – won’t change a thing. And that sucks. This is the new reality and the world we live in. If you go on this show, you have to be prepared for major racist hate and bullying to be thrown your way. That’s just fact because we’ve now seen it time and time again in recent seasons. And the most ironic thing in all of this is how the show is right at the forefront of this since they bully their own contestants all the time. But no one wants to talk about that dirty little secret.

adelina
March 3, 2020 at 9:51 AM
Did anyone hear my eyeroll last night when Rachel Lindsey showed up on behalf of ABC Bachelor Nation to talk about how the bullying needs to stop. I get that the messages are ridiculous and the racist nature of some of the messages is unacceptable and awful – but….
This is the same show that tries their hardest each season to edit their show so that at least one person is a villain (bring on the bullying messages) and several others are portrayed as unhinged, unstable, etc. Then they bring their righteous spokesperson out to let everyone know it “has to stop.” Meanwhile the WTA girls are all holding hands as if they’re re-telling a story about all of them being tortured.
Here’s a suggestion….don’t go on the show. Oh, you really want to find love? Okay….maybe shut down your social media accounts. Oh wait, you can’t do that because how else will you get the notoriety and attention that you’re seeking.
Don’t get me wrong. Bullying and racist comments are never okay….but if you anticipate this affecting your mental health, perhaps think twice about participating in this clusterf*ck of a show.
mgb970
March 3, 2020 at 11:07 AM
> And it was nice of them to address the racist,
> hateful messages some of the women received this season.
… and there’s Tammy, whose every other word this season was f*ck or b*tch, crying with the other posers on stage.
Here’s a hint Tammy… YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
mgb970
March 3, 2020 at 11:09 AM
Did anyone have a Tierra flashback last night (I cannot help my eyebrow/part of my sparkle), when Alayah was trying to explain her princess voice, her screwed up personality, etc. last night?
nuts
March 3, 2020 at 11:22 AM
“Peter got off so easy on his hot seat. Holy crap. I can’t remember a lead never having to answer any hard questions whatsoever in that spot. Did anyone even ask him anything relevant? “Do you wish you made better decisions” I think was the toughest question asked. And might’ve been the only one. Huh? Whaaaaa?”
Maybe they were afraid he’d start crying and want his mommy!
kabuki
March 3, 2020 at 12:25 PM
Tammy did herself no favors last night. I swear the camera crew was instructed to be on “eyeroll watch” because there were many shots of Tammy rolling her eyes in very dramatic fashion. If I were watching the show in a group setting, I would have had a drinking contest. Every time Tammy rolls her eyes you have to take a shot. There would have been a lot of buzzed people at my house for sure! Bummer that Kelley was not invited. There were so many women who were eliminated early on–and I had absolutely no recollection of them–but Kelley was deliberately left out because she couldn’t or wouldn’t play the game. Weird that Peter’s parents were rolled out to crash the viewing parties, but I guess it’s because they are local and had nothing else going on at the time. Time to cut the cord, Peter.
jdubtrey
March 3, 2020 at 12:56 PM
So, the way to end the abuse is to just cancel the show?
justsaying
March 3, 2020 at 2:17 PM
Pete, Pete, Pete went from I’m in love with all three women to telling Victoria that he was ‘falling in love’. He just boldfaced lied and lied and lied some more. Madi looked so thrilled to be at the rose ceremony.
Kelsey said ‘I never said I was sober’, cradles a giant champagne bottle and ends the episode by scoffing down more champagne and wonders why she would be called out for alcoholic tendencies?? Really? LOL! Is Kelsey suppose to be flattered to be compared to Asheley I.? Good grief!
Props to Savannah for calling out Pete for sending home one normal lady after another. Savannah is Kelley 2.0.
As for the finale, production must have made Madi spend time with entitled Pete. Just hold your breath Madi and power through and hopefully, she can run for the hills. Hannah Anne, don’t be Pete’s door mat. Just don’t.
crushonspivey
March 3, 2020 at 2:30 PM
After seeing the clips from last night, I have a theory. I think both girls leave. For different reasons though.
Madison leaves because she can’t get over the fact Pete chose to have sex with 2 girls days before he was supposed to propose to her. Show or not, that is just super weird and I can see why some girls/guys would hate that. So she bails.
And Hannah Ann bails because she sees that she is #2. That rose ceremony was awkward for her even after Victoria left. Pete made it clear Madison was his #1 choice. Then in the other preview for next week, it is obvious Hannah Ann is putting Pete on the spot to make his feelings knows. I bet he doesn’t, so she bails.
So Pete is left with no girls at the end, and the mad dash for him to safe face ensues cuz he got blown up by his poor choices.
Also, on After, Chris Harrison blew it with his question to Victoria. He asked if she ended marriages. Of course she could say no. Plausible deniability there as you can claim those marriages ended due to internal marriage factors that had zero to do with her, and the guys cheated because of that. Harrison should have asked her if she has ever had sex with married men. There is no out on that question. And I bet she would have not answered that question.
jlal
March 3, 2020 at 5:15 PM
I agree Crush on the Victoria thing. She didn’t break up any marriages. The only people who can do that are the two married people.
I thought Tammy showed her true colors; can’t blame it on the edit now.
brighteyedgirl
March 3, 2020 at 9:01 PM
Hey, I actually wrote Steve about that theory 3 weeks ago in his reader emails column from 2/12/20 (page 4). He said “No, she’s there on final rose ceremony day.” But I don’t think he understood what I was saying bc I think it’s a very real possibility HA leaves too. We’ll see.
Separately, I understand why the ex married women might not want to come forward with their stories but I hope they find the courage to do so. It’s not right what their husbands did. VF is getting all the heat when it takes two to tango.
dwwatchesreality
March 4, 2020 at 4:44 PM
Just a comment on the privacy question for the Claire spoiler. I think it makes a HUGE difference that it was posted in a PRIVATE group. If you share something from a private group, you should not attach a name to it, huge news or not. If she had been willing to be public with it, she would not have limited her sharing to a private group. People expect privacy when sharing in a private group. Whoever sent you the information is really the one who should have blocked out the name, but my opinion stays the same. I know you disagree with me, but I hope you will at least consider my take. You are well aware of what public exposure can bring, so people should only get brought into public exposure with their full knowledge and permission. How she stated the information should be behind the expectation of privacy. She wasn’t careful with how she shared because she expected privacy.
dwwatchesreality
March 4, 2020 at 4:52 PM
PS – I am NOT part of that Facebook group, but I AM someone who values my privacy, despite quite a bit of addiction to on-line forums. I curate what goes on public pages carefully. I agree that demanding credit to the name when it should never have been used anyway is silly, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have no idea what her reasons are for being posting privately, and as a result you have no idea what destruction you might be creating by going public now. My understanding from the groups I do belong to is that they expect the private group to be credited by name when someone reports on something they read there, but not the poster.